#modern lannisters

[logansdogmotif]

modern tywin lannister has a monthly pass to the everyman cinema but thinks every movie made past 1979 is utter shit so he never uses it but joffrey is constantly harassing cersei about how going to the movie theatre is cool and retro and y2k so tri-annually she has to drink 3 whole bottles of red wine in one sitting to work up the courage to call tywin on her iphone 14 and ask if she can take the kids to see the mario movie or something and tywin’s disappointed silence after the “…yes” is so loud she locks herself in her en-suite bathroom and cries silently for half an hour listening to bobby b snore phlegm-ily on his back in the next room. she makes a family day of it when the time comes (herself, joffrey, myrcella, tommen and jaime. obviously. who even is robert baratheon?) and after the movie’s over she insists they go to the m&s down the road so she can buy the most diabolically disgusting ready meals known to man (joffrey holds his nose the entire time they’re in there) and jaime’s like “don’t you have a cook?” and cersei, getting increasingly irritated at the self-serve, is like “we did we had to let him go” but actually he just low-key looked like a young ned so naturally both her and bobby b slept with him so they made him sign an NDA and fired him with 2 days notice

[westerosoliviapope]

In her first interview since her father's removal from office, Myrcella Lannister Baratheon opens up about her family drama, forgiveness, finding her happily ever after, and newfound family ties.

On Having Her Family's Dirty Laundry Aired for the Public "Imagine the worst thing that ever happened to you happening every day for two years in front of the entire world," Myrcella says of the scandal that destroyed her family and her father's administration in one fell swoop.

"Okay, your father had an affair and you have ten-year-old twin siblings. Oh, your father has had children all over the country since before your parents even met and abused his power [as Prime Minister] to pay off their mothers. Your entire life has been a lie. It gutted me. And the very people you're supposed to rely on for comfort—your family—are the source of this awful toxicity swallowing you whole."

On Losing Yourself to Find Yourself "Those early months in Dorne, I spent a lot of time volunteering in nursing homes. Just spending time with older people who needed social interaction and companionship. I became a demon at Cyvasse," she says with a chuckle, "and was really humbled by their wisdom and life experience."

"They helped me remember that as horrible as my family issues were, I had so much life to live. And I still had time to foster healthy, loving, trusting relationships."

On Falling for a Prince "It's all rather cliche, isn't it? I tell him [Prince Trystane Martell of the Sovereign Principality of Dorne] all the time that I wish our story had more substance than 'I was renting a condo from a family friend in Dorne and met a prince at a party.' And when I was so jaded about love and people in power... To meet an utter marvel of a man..." Myrcella says, shaking her head. "It's a little fantastical. If it wasn't my life, I wouldn't believe it."

On Embracing Forgiveness "I didn't speak to my father for a year. We've got a long way to go in repairing our relationship, but the Faith teaches us to forgive. I believe he can be a better man."

On Newfound Family "I went from being 'the only girl' to having FIVE sisters. Once I got over the shock, I was very intentional about reaching out to them. Here I was 'Daddy's Little Princess' while they had to live in the shadows. Thankfully, they've all been very gracious."

"And they're such badasses! I've rock climbed with Mya [Mya Stone - national rock-climbing champion and owner of Moon Gate Indoor Rock Park] and taken a few of Bella's [famed pole dancer Bella Rivers] pole classes. I'm afraid I didn't inherit the notorious Baratheon athleticism."

[westerosoliviapope]

now is tywin going to press jaime into politicking after twincest reveal or is he going to stick with kewan? and did he subject tyrion to the similar sexual abuse like in books? and what's shae's deal with him?

Tywin went with Kevan specifically because he knows Jaime is an untenable candidate. He's kind of disgusted by the whole thing while taking no responsibility for...you know...RAISING his children? Like perhaps some of his wheeling and dealing could have waited long enough to realize his twins were fucking each other? Too much to ask of the Old Lion, apparently.

And nah on the second question. Subjecting my characters to sexual abuse (esp tertiary characters that won't be developed) isn't my thing. If I'm not mistaken the only canon SA that shows up in this universe is Rhaella and Aerys. (Which leads Barristan to kill Aerys in his sleep)

Tywin's just the run of the mill neglectful billionaire father who is deeply disappointed that the children he treated like pawns instead of people turned out terribly.

[westerosoliviapope]

“You have to know this is a waste of time.”

Tyrion Lannister peers over his glasses to find his brother’s frame filling the door to his office. Bloody bastard. Even as a 50something bachelor with a prosthetic arm and no ambition to speak of outside the military, he’s still pulling off “handsome cad,” walking into rooms as if he owns them.

Stunning, really. Perhaps he too, would wield Lannister arrogance with such ease were he two feet taller. The things he'd accomplish with his wits and his brother's body.

What a waste.

“And hello to you, too, Big Brother. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Jaime folds his body into one of the cushioned chairs in front of the desk. He still moves like a lazy lion, entitlement in every muscle as he rests his good arm over the back of the chair.

“I, too, am wasting my time. Father asked me to join he and Kevan for a round of golf with some Riverlands businessmen. He seems to think he can secure their votes.”

Yes, he knows that. Father is slowly working his way through the business communities of the Riverlands and Vale to keep the more popular politicians in their regions out of the race. To what degree that will get Dull Uncle Kevan elected Prime Minister…

Debatable.

“How precisely does a one-armed man golf?”

“Like all bored, rich, middle-aged men—poorly. But boy, it’ll be fun to brag about besting General Jaime Lannister, won’t it.”

Still on Father’s shit list. Where he’s been—mysteriously—since they suddenly dropped Joff’s lawsuit against the Stark girl. Not that he’d minded. It was despicable work, even for him.

But he’s been wondering what trick Sarella Sand pulled to make that happen. With the way Father’s treated Jaime since…

It’s becoming increasingly clear. But how had she known?

“Welcome to being whored in the name of Lannister." Tyrion goes back to his emails. “Snacks are on the left. Brandy’s on the right.”

--

My first Tyrion POV comes out SWINGING. lmao.

[the-red-wulf]

What do you think the modern Lannisters have been doing during quarantine and how have they not murdered each other yet (assuming they're all stuck in the same house)

Oh, I love this!! 

To start, in a modern world I don’t imagine they would be stuck together which means that they are likely left to their own devices for entertainment. If they were stuck together they would have likely ventured to Casterly Rock so that while they’re together, they aren’t together. 

Tyrion has likely already set up routine ‘Drizly’ and grocery deliveries so that his supply of wine is never ending. He is a novelist, so working from home and avoiding the world is nothing terribly new to him. He is using the lockdown as motivation to finally work on that sequel he’s been meaning to tackle. In his ‘spare’ time he has also begun a complicated redesign of his in-penthouse library, cataloging everything and ordering those books that he needs online. Occasionally he will log into places like reddit and engage in AMAs, spirited debates and arguments in various subreddits, just to keep his mind sharp and in touch with his readers and the current events. But for the most part, he is, in my mind, perfectly content to sit back and watch the world burn while he curls up with a good book and bottle of wine.

Cersei has, by now, become a well-loved social media influencer. Beauty, fashion, interior design, you name it! After all, designers have been gifting her clothing and accessories for years, why not put them to work making her some cash during lock down? Her work as a fashion editor has prepared her for this--and her overflowing closet demands it. Blogs, reviews, social media ‘looks of the day’ and even selling on poshmark (because some things are simply too hideous to keep and she can use the petty cash to replenish her wine), she is wheeling, dealing and making herself a household name. Soon others look to her for harsh, unflinching opinions on current trends and brands are turning to her to help them with sales in this down economy. Her livestreams are packed with viewers and questions and she holds virtual court like the queen she is.  She is building her empire without a single apology. 

And Jaime, well Jaime would be the wild card. I think that he would be the first one to grow restless in lockdown. While Tyrion is aloof and Cersei can’t stand most people, Jaime is such a social, outgoing charmer, I think he would get bored quickly. It is fortunate that his golden retriever, ‘Selmy’ is there to keep him company--and become the subject of many a vlog and social media post. Perhaps he would engage in a troll war or two with friends Bronn and Sandor on Twitter or Instagram. He would, of course, be Tywin’s right hand man in terms of business, so he would spend most his days catching up on emails and putting out ‘remote’ fires. When he isn’t bouncing from zoom call to zoom call, checking in on all the Lannister Corp employees, I am torn between saying that he would begin using YouTube and other DIY videos to teach himself new skills (like karate and cooking) or if he would suddenly decide that it was time to learn home improvement to work on his surroundings, all with varying results that he would share on social media.

Thank you so much for this! I loved it and hopefully it made you smile! 

To everyone else, feel free to comment with your thoughts on this! :D

-<3 TRW

[spaceadventureseeker]

Things People Have Said during Improvisation

Actor 1: (to Actor 2) How long have you been sleeping with my boyfriend, you slut!

Actor 3: Hey, don’t talk to my sister that way

[liberateyourdreamscape]

Lannisters at church

Joffrey has a falsetto and sings in the church choir, looking angelic. Cersei watches him intently, fanning herself. Robert looks at her oddly and she’s like. What? It’s hot in here. Tyrion gives her a knowing look and rolls his eyes, sipping wine out of a coffee Thermos. Jaime cleans his nails with a knife and looks down Cersei’s dress as Robert eyes the ladies across the aisle. Tommen and Myrcella play with a kitten that Tommen brought in secretly in Myrcella’s purse.

“Joffrey has a boner in front of court and Tyrion casually moves in front of him to hide it” – real-country-dark