#monday progress update

[okavara]

Happy mondayyy hope everything is going well!! I ended up doing no fic work last week as I was quite busy playing deltarune. I probably will this week too, as well as art fight, so no updates for a while!! Have a Kelryptid Blep as requested by @icy-vulpine

[okavara]

Monday Progress Update for CotV (Cryptid Kel's origin story)

Happy monday i'm still chillin on hiatus between arc 1 and arc 2 ty ty

for your patience, I'll throw you all a bone. I'm trying to draw him at least once a week for people during this break of mine <3

So!! Here is something from a conversation on the EternityDev discord. We were talking about the fact I headcanon Dr.Kel has freckles - and most freckles are visible on the back/arms, which I don't draw much without them being hidden by clothing. So, thanks to some nice recommendations for poses, I have decided to draw Kel (both Kelryptid and Dr.Kel, for comparison) tying his hair up so it'd be out of the way to show off the patterning on the skin there. The art does have a scattering of darker spots to show where his freckles would be, you just gotta zoom in! <3

I think Dr.Kel he has a million billion all over his back like this, and I think it's really pretty, actually.

[okavara]

happy monday :) I really like how Kelryptid's design shows off how awkward Dr.Kel must be. Kelryptid is all of my headcanons about Dr.Kel cranked to 11 CotV is still at the same place it was last week, and the week before, and the week before...

Mentally doing really well though. Was gone all week last week on a much needed trip. Feels good

hopefully I can get back into what I love doing, which is writing his story. Though, in my personal opinion, it is already complete :} Perhaps the prequel can be posted first before I continue the story... hehe

[okavara]

Happy monday! And with it, happy pride month! I am so happy to be alive!

I don’t have much of an update for today. I spent the last well recovering from having gone to the convention last weekend, and sleeping.

I hope everyone is doing well!

I guess for pride month, I’ll mention that I am a demigirl. Kelryptid has a few pride themed asks i have answered before, which I will reblog over the course of the day. He is a demisexual demiboy!

[okavara]

wooops forgot monday cotv update. I meant to cook somethin up here. I legit thought it was still the weekend and its tuesday, oh my god its wednesday actually. Earlier today I thought it was monday. ANYWAY

I've been meaning to share I've been doing a nice revisit of chapter 1 of cotv. I wanna show a little snippet of how I've been touching up the chapter. I even added a new scene, covering the first grey alien transformer event that I initially forgot to include in the fic.

Here's a sneakpeek of that, though there will be much much more!

I will say I'm still on hiatus, so work will be slow. I'm finding time when I can, but I should be able to find a bit more time in these next few weeks.

Chapters 2 and 3 and part of 4 might get entirely reworked, but we'll see how they go as I do my reread and re-edit

[okavara]

Monday Update :D

Here’s your monday update for the week :D And a bit of an explanation for my hiatus, my own state as the author of tCotV, etc etc :} And I just want to say thank you to everyone in the fandom that has shown so much support or interest. Even a few kind words about my fic has really meant a lot to me!

So… First off, I wrote tCotV (and the choice to live) because I was drowning. I felt the call of the void, and I desperately wanted to convince myself and others that it was worth living. That fic saved my life. The community around it that formed, the positivity and passion, etc etc... Made me realize that there's a place for myself and everyone else like me in this world. The part of me that I feared would be ugliest, that part of myself that had been denied space to breathe and live every day… I wrote it into this fic. I thought nothing would come of it at all. I thought that it would maybe at least get noticed by a person or two, liked well enough, and then pass along silently into the memories of history. Instead, it was met with so much love and adoration. It made me realize I was worth loving. I was worth saving. I was in an abusive relationship. I'm trans. In that relationship, my ex very nearly convinced me that whatever feelings I had about my own body were ones that weren't worth feeling. That weren't worth worrying about. So... I wanted to express them to the world one last time. I wanted to tell the world what being trans can feel like in its scariest moments. It feels like a monster trying to claw its way out from underneath your skin. It feels like suffocating. It feels like wanting to live. It feels like a part of you is dying until you let it out.

... In my abusive situation, it felt like being scared of your own voice, scared you'd be heard. Just as Kel was when he was experimenting with his own voices late into the night. I wanted to write the acceptance I never got in the real world into CotV. The love for the body I knew I'd never get. Or... That I'd thought. I lived for writing tCotV. But... As it got closer and closer to the ending I’d planned, it got harder and harder for me to write the last chapters and wrap up the first arc, and give Kelryptid his happy ending. I'd written so much of myself into him. How could I write this out, when I hadn't lived it yet for myself? I was willing to die for the man I was about to marry. I was willing to kill this part of me. These ugly feelings. That desperate, terrified something clawing at my ribs from within. I was scared of finishing tCotV, because I was scared of dying, and giving up. As much as I had thought I had prepared myself... The very lessons I was teaching in the fic itself, to survive, no matter how painful or ugly life would look like after choosing to live... I was doing the opposite in life. The fic was supposed to be wish fulfillment and then I would silently fade into nothing. Well... I chose to live, too. I escaped the relationship that caused me to want to die. I'll be on hiatus for several months longer while I adjust having moved houses. I'll be okay now. Talking about my situation will have make me relive my awful situation and bring up poor memories, so I would not like to talk about it at this time. I am wracked with guilt for escaping my abuser. Talking about it will make me relive that guilt over and over again. Choosing to live can be incredibly hard, and incredibly painful. I am alive, and well, and okay. I'm free, and when I'm ready, I'll write that freedom into Kelryptid's second arc.

For now, I’ll be on hiatus for the foreseeable future, but I’ll do what I can to post every monday, even if it’s only just one funfact per week about cryptid Kel.

Also, in the meantime, I'd like to revisit earlier chapters and make it much more clear with what I was trying to say in them. It will be as gut-wrenching as it will be hopeful. Also, I have a much better idea of how to handle Furfur. He WILL be reappearing in future chapters. I hope you are excited! I look forward to sharing the bright future with everyone here who has supported me for so long. Even a small comment helped me get through those awful days where I barely felt alive. Thank you for reading this, and thank you for reading tCotV I hope you are looking forward to life as much as I am, and... If you're not, that you'll be able to escape your horrible situation and choose life, just as I have. The pain of change is scary. Terrifying. You might be immobilized for years. If you can't do it now... It's okay. I understand. You can wait. Just don't let it kill you, okay? It'll be worth it when you make it out. It was worth it for me. There's always still time.

[okavara]

Don't have much for monday. Just have him :} Experimented with drawing a more deer-like nose on him. I don't think it looks too bad, I think the lightening of pattern around his nose really does it. I'll continue to experiment as time goes on

[okavara]

Monday update

Feeling cozy and rested and safe this monday. Recovery is slow but good. Feel free to reply to this post what you did for Easter :3

Kelryptid would also teach the arirals about easter. Neopi would offer her very own egg to paint and things would get real awkward real fast

My hiatus is still going but I might start to feel like writing by may or June, we will see!