Jul 8
Absolutely devastated realizing that Donut and Mongo are quite literally just a reference to those shitty early 2000s memes of a cat riding a dinosaur
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Absolutely devastated realizing that Donut and Mongo are quite literally just a reference to those shitty early 2000s memes of a cat riding a dinosaur
This is for my birds and all other pets that look hilarious when facing straight forward.
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New Achievement: Congratulations! Now what??
You proved you can still read the big books super fast. Now what are you supposed to do? Didn't think that through, did you crawler?
Guess you're gonna have to read something else? Ha! We both know you're going right back to the beginning and doing it all over again because that's the whole point, isn't it? It's Inevitable.
Reward: None. You're a glutton for punishment and I don't reward people who do things to hurt themselves for fun. That's my job and you took it away from me. Maybe next time you'll think before you burn through thousands of pages without stopping to think about what happens when it's done for now.
...but I doubt it. Crawlers are all the same.
I am unreasonably worried that they (Peacock and Seth McFarland) are gonna fuck up my baby (Dungeon Crawler Carl).
Please fic authors and meta analysts, I am not funny enough to write for this series. Please. I am begging
Dungeon Crawler Carl fandom please hear me out.
My current reread has created a fic idea that I now desperately need someone in this fandom to write.
I want a POV story from a group of absolute basement-dwelling veteran gamers who enter the dungeon thinking this is finally their moment.
These are the guys who have been gaming for 20 years. The kind who think their encyclopedic knowledge of every MMO mechanic ever created means they’re about to dominate the crawl. They smell. Their hair is greasy. Their mom still makes their meatloaf. Atleast one of them got kicked out of JROTC. They fully expect to be top leaderboard material.
Instead…
They aren’t even in the top 10,000.
The only reason they’re still alive is because they camp constantly, avoid every fight possible, and treat the dungeon like a survival horror stealth game. Because they learned real quick real war isn't like Call of Duty.
Meanwhile the announcements keep going:
“CARL DID WHAT?”
Every time Carl shows up on the broadcast doing something insane, these guys are absolutely foaming at the mouth. They are pissed and absolutely LOATH Carl because he is living their dream. They just don't understand how this noob is absolutely dominating.
In their minds there is only one possible explanation.
Carl is clearly a pretty boy getting carried by the AI.
Obviously the system favors him because he’s conventionally attractive. The dungeon must be biased. The crawl is clearly rigged.
These guys are probably the main source of the rumor that the AI is in love with Carl because there is no other explanation for how this random dude with a cat keeps surviving things that would have killed them if they hadn't of fled.
They also believe Princess Donut is some kind of psy-op designed to steal female attention away from them. A cock block meant to stop them from clapping alien cheeks, and give all the green puss to carl.
Their internal logic looks something like this:
• Carl = system favorite pretty boy
• Donut = Carl's manipulation tactic to steal women
• Lucia Mar = ultimate waifu
• Katia = “poser” who doesn’t deserve the hype
• The dungeon = unfair to “real gamers”
Meanwhile they’re hiding in a hallway arguing about builds while Carl destroys another boss arena.
Please.
Someone in this fandom.
Write the salty basement dweller incel POV fic.
I am begging.
"Mongo! Give mommy some kisses. No particular reason, you're just a good boy, that's all."
"I don't think being so close to his teeth is a good idea, Donut."
"Hmph. He hasn't bitten me for at least two weeks, really Carl, you can have truly horrible grudges."
"I hold grudges?"
*Happy chirping from a happy raptor*
