#monkeyman hfil

[melongumi]

I have a problem where I see one of these guys and I just think.

SEA-HAWKS SEA-HAWKS SEA-HAWKS WOOOO

[melongumi]

Actually Gohan-with-canon-characterization would be a great prospect for any number of intrusive isekai crossovers. On account of he would be completely devoted to never using a higher power level than he absolutely has to, and also. The effect of his power level on the narrative stakes would be irrelevant because the stakes he wants to care about are absolutely the interpersonal ones.

[melongumi]

Okay, time for part 2 of the MDZS/Dragon Ball fusion

[Part 1 Here]

A brief recap of our cast of characters:

Wuxian and Yanli, the monkey-tailed wards of the late Cangse-sanren

Wen Qing and Wen Ning, the heiress and spare of Capsule Corp’s tech empire

Jiaojiao, boy-crazy shapeshifter (taking votes on her default form)

Jin Zixuan, desert bandit

Mianmian, plucky young daughter of Yanling-daoren

Cangse-sanren and Yanling-daoren, students of Baoshan-sanren

Baoshan-sanren, the legendary turtle hermit

“Emperor” Yao, a very sad, very entitled little man

Last time, Jiaojiao saved the day from His Erstwhile Majesty Emperor Windbag Yao by wishing on the dragon balls for a pinup calendar. Now...

Wuxian leaves his sister and his new friends behind in West City-- it’ll be a full year before the dragon balls activate again, and he wants to take Baoshan-sanren up on that offer of training!

But he was in this deceived, because Baoshan-sanren has an additional condition he must fulfill to prove himself Worthy.  “You’ve gotta have the right stuff, kid. Mettle, and good taste. Bring me something dangerous. Something that’ll make me sweat, you know, a real kick in the mouth.”

Wuxian ponders this very vaguely described scavenger hunt requirement, goes looking, and retrieves a VERY SPICY VERY FORBIDDEN pepper. This thing has a kick, alright! Surely it’ll prove that Wuxian’s taste is more than equal to the challenge of Baoshan-sanren’s training!

Baoshan-sanren tries the pepper and breathes fire - not because of an energy beam. She is somewhat dismayed--Wuxian’s sense of taste is in fact far too strong for her.  “But you are sweating, and it does have a kick!” Well. Fair enough, he’s got her there. Wuxian is in.

At this point, another prospective student arrives! Xingchen hops out of his boat, declares Baoshan-sanren’s requirements for disciples to be known far and wide, and presents her with: a pair of very tall designer high heels. “What is this.” asks Baoshan-sanren. “Kicks! They’re exhausting to walk in and good for kicking!” “Kid, I’m a martial artist, I don’t wear heeeewhat is THAT” --For rising out of the boat behind Xingchen is a hideous and terrifying wild animal.  “Oh! I ran into this guy while I was travelling! Isn’t he cute? :)” The beast is absolutely not cute. Also, it attacks. Baoshan-sanren spends the next hour subduing it and wrangling it into an enclosure, and then-- split-lipped, sweat-sodden, and grinning, she declares that Xingchen is a smart kid who totally Gets Her, and... yeah he can stay. 

[insert training montage here] [ooh, look at all this training, and gregarious rivalry-bonding, and learning to rely on your sagely eccentric teacher. wonderful. they do this.]

Baoshan-sanren and the boys pause their training to go to the Strongest Under The Heavens tournament. We really don’t care much to re-tread things like tournaments; we’ve got 42 volumes to get through, and we must compress somewhere.

BUT suffice to say that Wuxian’s friends and family are there (including Jin Zixuan, who’s fighting in the tournament), and he introduces everyone around, and then the tournament begins. And continues. And continues.

In the final match, Wuxian performs Baoshan-sanren’s Kamehameha technique, then sees the full moon and almost goes ape on the entire stadium. Wuxian’s tail is cut off to halt the rampage. Also, Baoshan-sanren blows up the moon because she has zero chill. U_U

Though the match is well-fought, Wuxian ultimately loses. This is reasonable and unsurprising, because he’s a child.

Everybody has dinner and friendship. To be continued.

[melongumi]

me, scoping out Broly’s new outfit: SEA-HAWKS SEA-HAWKS SEA-HAWKS

[melongumi]

please could some benevolent champion make a comedy DBZ amv to the tune of Brad Paisley’s “Crushin it”

just an entire amv of krillin and yamcha and the other B-listers

‘cause they sure could use an attaboy, or a big high five. they’d love to hear, “you’re killin it, dude!” it’s been a long time -- since they hit one out of the park, or nailed it, as they say -- I guess they’ve been in a dry spell, but that’s about to change

ya got me???

[melongumi]

this entire video is the best thing ever but especially the gh/v bits and just. all the parts where gohan and videl sound like unhip parents

please every single person watch this

edit 11/11/24 vibeo borken :(

[melongumi]

dbz au where everything is the same except Chi-chi has a cooking show that’s basically the setting’s Pioneer Woman

please

just imagine

[melongumi]

You can't prove sekirei weren't created as some kind of supersoldier secret weapon !!!

I'm so distracted by this, you can't prove they aren't GMO people with unintended side effects, you can't prove they weren't created by Tuffles, you can't prove Sekirei is even set on our earth, and you CAN'T prove that this doesn't signify , consequently, that EEA saiyans had kiss-soulbonds

But you CAN take those conclusions and run with them for fridge horror