joel miller x celebrity! female reader || masterlist
summary: After your album tanks, you'll do anything it takes to stay relevant - even sign up to get engaged on reality TV. You're not doing this for love, and you harbor no delusions about finding it. But then you meet Joel Miller. He's a guarded single dad with a love of your music, and he sees straight through your act. You want him desperately, and you think he wants you too. The problem is, Joel isn't a contestant. He's your cameraman - the only guy on set that you can't have.
tags: afab reader, forbidden romance, gratuitous smut, the hooking up burns fast but the romance burns slow, pining, angst, fluff, no outbreak AU, sarah is alive, jealousy, healthy mix of plot and porn, no y/n, siri play "i can do it with a broken heart"
rating: Explicit - 18+ ONLY. A lot of development of the characters and their relationship happens through sex, and cameraman!Joel loves to dirty talk.
status: Complete. 92k words
read on ao3
chapter one: Twenty Perfect Guys
chapter two: Best Seat in the House
chapter three: I Know Your Type
chapter four: Nice Outfit
chapter five: Secret Talent
chapter six: Hågernås
chapter seven: Mock the iPod, Lose the iPod
chapter eight: Filthy Celebrity Riches
chapter nine: Mr. Right-Now
chapter ten: Crush
chapter eleven: Take Me Home
chapter twelve: Dealbreaker
chapter thirteen: Anything You Want
epilogue: Dirty Mind
Playlists*
joel and cinderella: I'D TELL THEM PUT ME BACK IN IT. for scenes that lean heavy into forbidden love vibes
cameraman! joel: I can't believe I captured your heart. for free-writes from Joel's POV, scenes in his truck and with his family
cinderella: I’ve been up on a pedestal, but tonight I just wanna fall. for the sad princess in all of us that loves joel miller.
glass slipper : I would trade it all for your sweet kiss. For scenes where Cinderella plays or writes her own music. Made with the help of a guitarist friend because I know nothing about guitar.
*(tw that i only know like 4 artists)
Influences
If you enjoyed What You Can’t Have, you may also enjoy the books and fics that inspired it.
Reality TV romances
The Charm Offensive by Allison Cochrun: one of my favorite books. this series is an homage to it.
One to Watch by Kate Stayman-London: for anyone else tired of the reality TV beauty standards
Character growth through sex
Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: just read it. Casey's writing is so alive that it oozes off the page.
So Much to Lose by auterdelabre: the GOAT Joel Miller fic
blue as cut sapphires and shining like gold by suchgreatheights: Different fandom, but I have read this 4 times and it’s 312k words, somebody hospitalize me. Truly a pinnacle of what fanfic as a format enables unlike any other.
Emotionally stunted creatives falling in love
Beach Read by Emily Henry: grouchy banter and then more grouchy banter
Comments, questions and reblogs give me so much life! This is my first fic and I love talking to people about it.
AN: too excited about this little DBF! Mean! Joel x Bratty! Reader one-shot i've been working on not to share a preview!
18+ only
Joel’s sweatpants are slung low on his hips. Is he wearing anything underneath? You trail your eyes up to his face. Oh right. He’s furious.
“You better not be drunk in my pool, kid.”
You recite the universal mantra of drunk people. “I’m not drunk.”
He crosses his arms over his chest. “Then you better have a damn good explanation for this.”
A vein ripples in his bicep. God, he’s such a man.
You search through the wreckage of your thoughts for a sentence you can piece together.
“You aren’t home tonight, Joel.”
He blinks at you. You swallow. “I mean, your truck isn’t. It’s not in your driveway.”
“Transmission’s being repaired. Your daddy gave me a ride from the shop. I thought he would’ve mentioned it to you.”
Joel takes a step, and his foot lands on your crumpled-up sundress. He takes in the sight, then looks slowly between you and Cowboy.
“But I guess you been gone all night, haven’t you? Hunting down a Jesse James lookalike to fuck in my pool.”
You’ve never heard Joel speak this way before.
Cowboy raises an awkward hand. “It’s Butch, actually. Not Jesse.”
“No way,” you say. “As in, Butch Cassidy?”
Joel’s head snaps to you. “You didn’t even know his name?”
You sink down a few inches in the water. “Might have let it slip my mind.”
The look Joel gives you could melt steel.
Cowboy – Butch – takes a step toward Joel. “Don’t be mad, sir. I don’t remember her name, either. And, uh, please don’t call the cops.”
Joel doesn’t take his eyes off you.
“Jesse James, you got thirty seconds to get out of my yard and drive off in whatever broke-down truck you came here in. After that, you’re gonna wish I called the cops.”
Butch evaporates. The gate clangs shut behind him.
Joel doesn’t move. His chest barely rises when he breathes, as though it’s anger, not oxygen, that sustains him.
“Your daddy raised you better’n this.”
His quiet words are dripping with disdain. “Didn’t expect you’d grow up to be a whore.”
End note: First time writing DBF! Joel even though I have read through the entire tag on AO3. Full fic coming soon!
