#monster advice

[monsterfucker-sex-ed]

Hey, do you know how a person can remove "claims" by certain monsters? Some clients of mine try sometimes and one managed to fucking do it. Don't worry about them, I got it taken care of. But I need to make money and another client cancelled when they smelled the damn mark.

Ugh it's so annoying when they do so! Apparently it can be done with some bullshit loophole, but the lawyers refuse to answer my calls!

I am not 100% sure about this, since I suck at legal stuff, but I suspect some people actively seek out to be claimed before making deals! Since they were claimed before the deal was made, your claim isn't valid! Then they just get un-claimed by whoever claimed them in the first place and get away with it all!

I have hears of some mortals that traded souls with each other before making deals, and since the demon was a rookie, it completely missed that the soul in its client wasn't theirs and essentially got nothing out of the deal!

Whether you're fae or daemonic, there's a guild called The Honour Pact that can help you with these problematic clients. You shouldn't have to deal with these people alone!

The Night Queen

[human-imagines]

Recently I used coconut oil as paw balm on my monster girlfriend for the first time and oh Lucifer, she purred so sweetly! <3 I recommend this stuff, her paw skin is so soft now!

OOOO that sounds so nice!! I’ll have to try it out!

[human-imagines]

So I'm crushing pretty hard on my dragon friend and I want to make my intentions clear with a gift to him. Maybe a card? I dunno I'm a bundle of anxious at the thought. What do you think? Mutual friends have been trying to kinda nudge us together so I figured if I'm gonna do it I'll ask for advice. Should I try to get something for his hoard?

I like the idea of finding something to give him for his hoard because that will definitely peak his interest and if he feels the same way about you he’ll probably like it even more maybe do that and give him a card along with it so you don’t have to actually ask him out out loud! I hope it works out between you too! Let me know how it goes and good luck!!

[human-imagines]

Hi I’m a very small (5’2) human in love with a very big monster! How can I let my monster know that I’m very sturdy and they don’t have to worry about hurting me? Thanks!!

Hmm that’s a tough one, you could do what a monster would do and challenge him in a duel, and win. And if you feel like you can then do ahead just be careful! But otherwise I would say just talk to him about it really tell him that you’ll be able to handle his strength and such! I hope this helped!! Good luck!!

[human-imagines]

Hey there! So my deer-monster boyfriend (I'm not really sure what he is aaa) seems upset about something lately. What should I do to help cheer him up? Mega thanks!

Hmm maybe offer to talk about it with him and see if he just needs to vent? Show him some nice songs, preferably love songs, something calming and not very loud! Or Bring him some fresh apples or maybe pick him some flowers! I hope this helped!!! Good luck!!

[human-imagines]

Hi, another human! I was curious. How would a monster help their human through a mental shutdown?

This is actually a tough one to answer. Like humans all monsters are different so not all of us will want the same things when we’re feeling down, but here’s a few thing I know cheer me and a few of my monster friends up when things are tough mentally!-food!-grooming (brushing out fur, smoothing feathers, moisturizing skin, etc)-naps (especially when someone is holding you or your holding them)-validation (this is a big one just let them know their problems are valid and that it’s okay to feel what their feeling)-space (sometimes we just need to be alone for a while and it’s nothing against you! It can just be hard for monsters to talk and be open about how we’re feeling so if your monster needs sometime alone just let them know you’ll be there for them when their ready to talk!)I hope this helped!!!

[human-imagines]

Another human here! What’s the best way to court a naga? I really wanna make a good impression but I’m not sure what would appeal to him other than food.

Nagas like shinny things, jewels, gold, etc try bringing him some food along with a nice gold necklace (if you can’t afford it just get a gold colored one he should understand and if he doesn’t that might be a red flag) and then ask him on a date!!! Let me know how it goes!!! Good luck!!

[human-imagines]

Whats the best way to keep my Naga boyfriend warm and cozy in the winter? PS: human here, love your blog <3

Hì ̵t͠h́er̕e̷ ̢I w̴o͢uld ̛s͡a̵y҉ t́h͜e̶ ͠b̧e̷s̵t̴ way̶ ́t͘ơ ͟keep y̢o̧ur̶ Na̴ga ͞wàrm҉ ẃou̕ld be a l͟ot ҉óf̶ ̨h͞ȩat̀er͟s,҉ ̶maybe ̸c͞ha̛nge͠ ̀thè li͟g҉h͠t͏ ͟bųlb̛s ̢i̕n͏ th̵e ͜r̶oom̸ h̛e’s͝ s̶tay̵in̴g̶ ͜i̕n t҉o ͡ḩe̡at̵ ͝bul͡bs͏ (you ca̕n̨ nor̶ḿal̵ly̨ f͏i̕nd t̴h̨e͠m ̀re͝a҉l̷l̕y ̸chęa̕p̷ at͢ ̡a̕ ̡h̢a̸rdw̸ar̸e store!)̡, a̕nd̕ l̷óts̵ o͟f c͢u͝dd͜l҉ing!́ I͠ hope thát̷ hel̨p̨e͝d!́! An̶d͡ th͟ank ̴y҉ou!!!

Hi there I would say the best way to keep your naga warm would be lots of heaters, maybe change the light bulbs to heat bulbs (you can normally find these really cheap at a hardware store!) and lots of cuddling! I hope I That helped!! And thank you so much!!