Nov 23, 2023
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*something stressful happens* Shiro: JUST LET ME LIVE!!! everyone: *whispering* but he's a ghost? Kuro: fuse?
...i’m just imagining Shiro saying stuff like this all the time and every time he does everyone in the room just Looks at each other
Kuro: ...fuse?
Shiro: what no we don’t need to fuse
Kuro: but... fuse
Shiro: why do you want to fuse?
Lance: *bursts out laughing*
Shiro: i honestly don’t get whats so funny
Lance: YOU KEEP SAYING LET ME LIVE HE’S TRYING TO LET YOU LIVE
Shiro: oh
Shiro: *lays on the floor and stares off into space* i...
didn't u say that the first one they found a hell rift in the fae world Keith was with lance? he'd consider Keith dying his fault at first (maybe because he was also hit with magic bullets that add to the pain) and lance couldn't stop it
my dude, yes.
i have no doubt that until that point he was covering up his insecurity about NOT having cool magical powers like some of the others. he instantly declared keith his rival and keith just like... rolled his eyes and was like “yeah yeah, just cover me”
so being in a situation where he could literally do NOTHING to help keith despite his bravado and all... that hurt. he held it together until he was back at the Castle, but then he isolated himself in his room. even though keith came out of it perfectly fine, it still stung and he just... felt useless.
like, even when the Castle was attacked and he got knocked unconscious, he still pulled through and shot the Fae invader. even THEN he managed to help a little. but when keith was in the Hellrift? he could literally do nothing but try not to be hopelessly outnumbered, and that shit doesn’t fly.
eventually hunk convinces him to come to dinner with everyone, and that helps a little, but what REALLY helps is that afterwards, keith catches up to him. and apologizes.
lance is like wtf dude???
but keith just shrugs. “If it weren’t for me we would never have been cornered like that. You got us out. You didn’t know that the Hellrift would be there.”
because like... keith KNOWS his impulse control leaves something to be desired, but he gets too tunnel visioned in battle to help it. and lance is starting to understand that. he’s starting to understand that he actually does bring something to the team, to the missions. he’s long-range, long-con, the planner. he’s better at teaming up with keith than ANYONE because he complements his fighting style so well.
when lance finally figures it out, he cries a little. just a little.
Monster Club!Lance: HEY KEITH LETS WATCH SIX OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES
keith: yeah i can just,,, go the the fae barber, righttttt?! lance: ... Keith: ... also i don't trust coran with a pair of scissors except with his own moustache lance: fair enough keith: i used to have shiro do it but CANT NOW RIGHT (kuro in the background: OK)
GOD Keith is so salty about this, I love it.
Every two seconds:
“HEY KEITH, SOME COMMENT ABOUT YOUR HAIR”
“...well if I had a Fae sUPERCUTS I WOULDN’T BE IN THIS MESS, LANCE”
That Morning (although it would be more accurate to say later that night) Kuro left Keith's room, needing to talk to someone. Shiro has long since faded, and even Pidge had fallen asleep on a decorative ledge with her magic device, but he kept going. "What're you doing up this late?" Kuro looked up. Lance was seemingly wide awake, and he could tell something was wrong, but he didn't say anything. Kuro pointed to himself. "go... I... help?" "you want to help us?" Kuro nodded. "out..."
Lance, too used to little siblings wanting to get themselves in trouble, kneels down in front of him. “I mean, you’ve gotta be at least this tall–” he makes a gesture about Pidge’s height, still far above Kuro’s head, “–to come out on missions with us.”
Kuro fights against mimicking Lance’s gentle smile, instead schooling his face into a pout. He taps his fist against his chest. “…Help?” he insists. “How… help?”
Lance pretends to think. “Weeeeeell, there is one thing…”
…And that’s how the dawn finds the kitchen COVERED in shimmery Fae flour, both Lance and Kuro asleep under a table. Shiro stands before it, and he just can’t help it–he’s giggling. On the table is a cake. On the cake are the badly written words: Happy Day After Death Day, Keith!
He can hear Keith waking up, the grumbling of grumpy morning-demonling filtering down the hall. He can’t WAIT for Keith to get a look at this.
ｔｅｌｌｍｅｍｏｒｅａｂｏｕｔｍｏｎｓｔｅｒｌａｎｃｅ
Lance was actually hatched. Out of an egg. He and his siblings grew up like frogs--they start out in the water without legs (they have lil baby arms tho) and they grow into their legs.
His family is pretty big, all full of squirming lil ones. They’ve lived in their swamp for generations, only occasionally making contact with the other cryptids in the area. Lance always did have ambitions to get out of there, though. Mostly because there aren’t really any babes in the swamp. Small communities, they kinda suck for dating.
Once, when Lance was a kid, a hunter wandered into the forest nearby. He was looking for deer or some shit, but got the SHIT scared out of him by one of the werewolves who lives there. He ran away but dropped his gun... which Wee Lance found. Lance is actually pretty good with it. It took a damn long time to find someone who could make bullets for him, though... he scavenges for precious herbs in the swamp and trades them to a Gnome who actually gets the bullets from Hunk, who makes them, on the other side of the forest.
...and since you’re probably wondering, the swamp in the forest is actually a magical swamp. There aren’t really wetlands where they are, just trees--the swamp was Fae-made back in the day. Lance’s abuela gets reeeally testy about that, though, so don’t mention it. Cryptid politics are weird... let’s just say that most of them aren’t fond of the Fae, who consider them the ‘peasants’ of the supernatural world. Also, most cryptids can’t cross over into the Fae Realm without help.
Lance is salty about this, because it means he needs Keith to cross over.
d o e s t h i s p l e a s e y o u
i'm dying lance- keith at some point in any au where keith is suffering™ (probably monster club cuz keith is used to DYING)
PFFF
Keith: i’m dying lance
Lance, decked out in dollar store shades and sipping a slurpy that he made a demon deal for: nonsense now lemme trade this cool fucking seashell for a funnel cake chop chop