seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from Taiwan
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Yemen
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Jamaica
seen from United States
seen from United States
still quite a bit more active on bsky, here are my many musings on ･ﾟ✧mers with colds✧･ﾟ from there... feat. a new au where the many forms of h/ua c/heng are represented as different mers-- so here's c/rimson rain (canon hc) and san l/ang (sl/xiao hua form) sharing a sneezy gill cold, and then san l/ang so feverish he's started to lose color in his tail :'(
[ lite mess cw ]
[ please do not reblog to non snz/kink blogs, ty! ]
finally finally it's time to share the third and final part! i'll also be posting the fic in its entirety for archival purposes and for those of you who prefer to read all at once. this may be the final chapter but never fret! im not done with my dear library monsters... ♡
Water From a Stone (pt iii)
summary: Ateya comes back to the library with a clever idea to try and make its sick gargoyle feel better. It may not go exactly as planned...
3.6k words, Rated PG-13, No CWs. Gargoyle!sneeze, Trying not to sneeze, Cold sneezes, Nose touching, Snout rubs, Helping someone stop a sneeze, Destructive!sneeze, NB sneezing
pt i
pt ii
pt iii
completed work
When Ateya showed up the next evening, she didn't come empty handed, but instead came toting a recycling bin that was as large as she was and looked to weigh at least two hundred pounds. She had to walk backwards just to move it, taking frequent breaks to catch her breath and rally her strength.
This might not have been her brightest idea, but never let it be said she didn't commit to something once starting it.
If lugging the bin to the library had been hard, getting it up the stone steps out front was a trial. She cursed and struggled and begged as she wrestled it up each one.
Ateya was shaking, sweating, and panting by the time she managed to haul it up onto the landing, and she collapsed weakly over its lid to catch her breath as soon as it was done. She hadn't even knocked yet when Leonidas came to the door.
“What the devil is this?” he asked in lieu of a greeting.
“It's rice,” Ateya managed to huff between labored breaths.
“Rice?” Leo repeated, sounding personally offended. “Rice? Why would you bring rice to a library? Absolutely not! There is no food permitted on the premises. Why would you ever think—”
“It's for Ava,” Ateya interjected.
Leonidas pulled a face simultaneously so confused and so outraged it looked as if he might combust.
“Bwhh- What? For Ava?” he stammered. “Ava doesn't– Why would you bring–”
Ateya laughed. She couldn't help herself, she'd spent all her energy dragging this here through the city and had none left to spend on self restraint.
“What. are you. laughing. at?” he snarled.
Ateya let herself stop giggling, to spare the man's feelings.
“Sorry. -ahem- Yes, the rice is for Ava,” she repeated, composing herself. “They said the damp was a problem for them, so, I thought this could help.”
Leo's temper faded into something altogether softer and more bewildered.
“What? How on earth is that supposed to help? Ava– Gargoyles in general, they don't eat the same things the rest of us do,” he said. “Lichen mostly, but nothing like... Stars above, how many pounds of rice is that?”
Ateya shook her head, shoved herself up from the lid of the recycling bin, and threw it open. Dry, uncooked rice filled the thing near to the brim. A few grains skittered over the side and scattered over the library steps as she plunged her arm in to demonstrate.
Leonidas stepped back to avoid any hitting his shoes.
“As a dessicant?” he wondered aloud.
“I figured it might help,” she said, puffing a sweaty lock of hair from her face. “It couldn't hurt to try.”
Leo stared at the bin open-mouthed and dumbstruck, shaking his head in bewilderment.
“I... I suppose it...” he stammered.
“Can I come inside?” Ateya asked, still panting and red in the face.
Leo blinked, still utterly flummoxed.
“Yes, please come in... I... This is quite generous of you,” he said.
Ateya lifted her arm from the bin and tried her best to get all of the rice that had clung to her sweat to shake off outside, while Leonidas closed the lid and rolled the bin into the lobby near effortlessly.
“Now this is not to leave the entryway for any reason,” he said. “I'll not be having stray grains of rice tracking throughout my beloved library.”
He continued laying down parameters as he rolled the bin roughly to the center of the floor and opened it back up.
“Furthermore neither of you are to leave the entrance hall until you're absolutely. certain. there’s no rice left clinging to you, for the same reason,” he said, brushing his hands off and looking at the rice itself disdainfully. “Grain brings pests, and mold, and it simply will not do, and at the evening's end I fully expect you'll have both expunged every last grain of rice from the lobby itself as well.”
Ateya nodded, shut the door behind herself, and sagged down to the nice, cool marble floor to sit for a spell, just as Ava was gliding down into the room from somewhere else in the building.
“Got it. Keep the library squeaky clean,” she said, giving Leonidas a rough thumbs up.
“See that you do,” he said, squinting at her warily before retreating into the back hallway and leaving Ateya alone with Ava in the lobby.
“Got you something,” Ateya said, gesturing weakly to the bin of rice now sitting open at the center of the floor.
Unlike the other times she had seen him, Ava had yet to touch the floor. Instead, they remained hovering about three feet in the air, looking at the rice with some measure of disbelief.
“I heard...” they said. They shook their head. “This is extremely kind.”
Ava cleared their throat and snorted, then finally touching down and turning their attention to Ateya, herself.
“Thank you,” they said.
“You got it, chief,” Ateya responded, still catching her breath. “Go ahead, get in. Let me know if it feels like it's helping at all. I'm going to need a few minutes before I'll be ready to help with reshelving any books today anyway.”
Ava circled the bin for a moment before seemingly deciding the best way to get themself into it would be from the air. Flapping their wings slowly they gently rose up above the bin and carefully entered it, hoofs first.
As they lowered themself down further into the rice, carefully poking their tail in and shifting their weight to sink in past their hips, they let out a sigh.
“Feel better?” Ateya asked.
Ava nodded.
“It does,” they admitted.
Carefully they shifted and contorted themself to get more of their torso below the surface, spreading their wings for balance when the whole bin wobbled and threatened to tip with the motion. Stray grains of rice skittered every which way over the entryway floor. It was fine, it wasn't like that couldn't be swept up later.
By the time Ateya had caught her breath and the redness had faded from her face, Ava had managed to cram as much of themself into the bin of rice she'd provided as possible, sinking themself in past the shoulders and up to their jaw, their head tilted back to allow them to bury as much of themself as they could. Their wings stuck straight up behind them out of the bin at an angle that could not have been comfortable, but the look of relief on their face indicated this was an acceptable trade-off.
Now that she felt a bit less like her heart was going to explode from exertion, Ateya got to her feet and came over to chat, Ava peeking an eye open at her as she approached and then closing it again in relaxation.
“You have pretty good hearing, don't you?” Ateya asked, leaning against the side of the bin itself.
Her legs and arms felt a little rubbery and would doubtless be sore the next day, but the quiet sense of triumph and accomplishment she felt at seeing her idea pay off was worth the muscle fatigue.
Ava's brow rose in agreement, and they gave a slight nod, rice shifting about their face as they did.
“I do,” they said, a quietly proud smirk playing over their features. “I hear everything that goes on in the building, and on some parts of the grounds. Why?”
They opened their eyes to face her, then, at least as well as they could still being buried up to the neck.
“It explains how you were able to hear about this,” she said, tapping on the side of the recycling-bin-turned-rice-bath. She tilted her head thoughtfully.
“Is that how you found me sneaking in?” she asked.
“It is,” Ava said, closing their eyes again contentedly, grinning now, and giving a quiet snort.
Ateya gasped as a realization struck her.
“You heard the story I told Leonidas!” she accused. Ava's grin took on a mischievous quality as he peeked one eye open at her again briefly.
“I did,” they said. “I hear everyone's stories, and their conversations. It makes my job as sentinel more enjoyable.”
“Oh, you sneak!” Ateya accused. Ava gave a small, snorting laugh.
“You would know,” they said.
“Yeah, yeah, fine. Whatever,” she conceded. “What's the weirdest thing you've ever overheard?”
Ava snorted again before responding.
“I couldn't say,” they said. “It wouldn't feel right to divulge others’ secrets.”
They snorted again, a little longer this time, their snout wrinkling up on one side with the breath.
“But you do know,” Ateya said. “Like you know what the weirdest thing would be.”
“It would be difficult to choose,” they said, now wiggling their nose up and down spiritedly.
They gave another snort.
“There is a problem with this arrangement. -sngkrffh!-” they said. “I -sngkffh!- I can't reach my nose. -sngrrhkf!-”
“I could scratch it for you,” Ateya teased, giving a playful scritch at the space between Ava's nostrils. Their nostrils quivered and flared immediately in response, Ava drawing in a big gasp as water rushed to fill their snout.
It was one thing to hear the oncoming torrent from nearby and another entirely to watch it flood in and stare you down like a water canon primed to blow. In a panic and with just as little forethought, Ateya clapped both of her hands over Ava's nose.
“Sorry! Geez, this thing really is sensitive isn't it!?” she exclaimed.
Unable to do much else to help themself, Ava snuffled and nuzzled up into Ateya's hands, bucking their rough snout against her palms needily.
“Okay, alright, I'm helping, I'm helping,” Ateya said, responding in concert to Ava's nuzzles while she tried to figure out what the best way to massage at their snout would be.
The heel of her hand wasn't doing enough, if Ava's frantic snorting and shaky breaths indicated anything. It didn't seem to be hitting the right spot, their pushing up into her constantly trying and failing to get at the slight crease that ran up and down between their nostrils.
Switching to her fingertips, Ateya was more dextrous, but she couldn't apply enough pressure to match what their nuzzling was asking for, and the time spent switching between methods didn't help. Ava snorted and gasped, fighting it hard, but Ateya could see them coming undone.
“Sorrysorrysorry!” Ateya rambled, all the while frantically trying anything to get them to stop. She dug her thumbs into the space between their nostrils and rubbed hard.
“-sNRGHt! hehh... snk'kffht! -snrrghk! haaehh....”
They took a deep snort and continued battling their sneeze, but it seemed like maybe it was helping. Their snuffling slowed down, their breaths still stuttering ticklishly but now seemingly less frantic.
“Like this? This is good?” Ateya asked, continuing her efforts. Ava nodded, unable to speak, shuddering and snorting sneezily when that interrupted the help they were receiving.
“Okay! Okay, I'll keep it up,” she reassured them. They snorted in response.
Ava's nose was surprisingly animated and flexible. Rubbing at the space between their nostrils as she was, Ateya could feel every twitch and tremble it gave beneath her thumbs as she worked to massage away the tickles that seemed to plague the ailing gargoyle's snout.
“sngrfhk! h-huhh– snffgh! hahh.... snfhk!”
She took to focusing her efforts on anything that felt twitchy or irritated, and it seemed to help, Ava's snout calming down bit by bit. The only problem was that she didn't have a ton of leverage, and the muscles in her hands were threatening to cramp.
“I'm going to try something, let me know if it's alright,” she said, then bracing her hands on either side of their snout as she continued to work at the center of their nose with her thumbs. Ava shuddered, then gave a shaky, stuttering sigh.
“Behh–hh-! Bh...etter... snfghhk!” they managed.
“It's better? This is better?” Ateya asked. Ava gave the littlest nod they could, and Ateya breathed a big sigh of relief.
“Whew. Okay. I thought you were definitely going to sneeze,” she said. Their nose continued giving demanding twitches so she kept rubbing at it for them, the ache in her palms receding to a gentle burn now with proper support.
“I... sngkt!snkrt!huhh... snrkht! I– hhuh–! hahh...” they tried, unable to get more than a word out before their unruly snout bothering them took their speech.
“Shhhh, it's okay. I understand,” Ateya said, keeping at her efforts, smoothing away every erratic tic and twitch and shudder she felt beneath her hands.
Ava continued to give little snorts and snuffles as Ateya worked, damp bursts of air fluttering against and pulling at her palms as she ran her thumbs firmly along the sides of the slight crease that marked the center of their nose.
Gradually, their distress seemed to ease. Their snout twitched less violently and less often. Their snorting started to wane and grow less fitful. The insistent rush of water to the back of their snout seemed to ebb and turn to a trickle. They were breathing a little more slowly and rhythmically.
“Are you feeling better?” Ateya asked.
“It's helping...” Ava said. “I still feel like I– hh! uhh... snfrkh! oh... snfk! like I h-have to -snkht!- huhh... s-sneeze...”
“Okay, that's fine. I've got you,” Ateya responded.
She kept up the massage, pressing in where their snout trembled and protested until it calmed once more. It seemed the slow, even breaths Ava was taking were very careful and intentional, and it probably wasn't the most helpful thing to ask them to talk through it. She kept up her attentions even as the quiet trickling sound of water went silent and Ava spoke again, this time of their own accord.
“Thank you,” they said, giving a soft snort. “I apologize, this isn't very dignified.”
It was Ateya's turn to snort then, not from irritation but from amusement.
“It's a lot more dignified than it would have been to get showered,” she said, still working at their nose.
Ava gave a quietly grunting snort, and the somewhat scrunched expression that Ateya had come to recognize as embarrassment crossed their features.
“I'm sorry. My snout is, in fact, very sensitive. Especially when I have a cold,” they said.
Ateya shook her head.
“That's okay,” she said, keeping her attention to their nose steady. “I don't mind helping.”
Ava hummed out a sigh and gave a quiet smile.
“Thank you,” they said. “I think I'm alright now.”
Ateya sighed, letting up the pressure and letting her hands fall from Ava's snout, her palms sore from the effort. Ava snorted violently as her thumbs brushed their nostrils on the way down, gasping against the ticklish intrusion to their senses.
“Waitwait–!” Ateya pled, hastening to bring her hands to their snout again as a rush of water flooded in.
It was no use. They snorted, and trembled, and their snout drew up in a snarl, revealing an array of tusks and fangs as they–
“euhh- hUHHh–! sngkf!hh'hHHhhHUHh—! HAUUURSHH'SHYEIUGH!!”
The recycling bin burst under the strain of their movement, the sneeze wrenching from them violently. Ateya was immediately drenched in bracingly cold water. Falling from the now ruins that was once a full bin of rice, Ava caught themself on their wings and rose into a ticklish hover, their tail whipping as their breaths caught and dragged.
“hh-hhuh! YAAHSHUUEWGH! eh'huhh– hHUHh! HUAAESH-SHIUEWGH!! snfghk!! hh! huhh’YAAHHSH-SHIEUW! hh! AUUSH'SHEUGH!! God... snfghk! Oh that tickled -snfkh!-”
Sneeze after torrential sneeze ripped from them, utterly bathing the lobby in a sea of cold water and uncooked rice.
Ateya shivered, looking around at the wreckage with dread.
“Aw man Leo's gonna be so mad,” she said.
Ava snorted, and snuffled—
“hUHh–! heUGH’SHhuwh!”
—and another sneeze tumbled out of them, splashing down into the mess below before they were finally able to open their eyes and get their bearings.
“I am so sorry big guy, I did not mean to make you sneeze like that,” Ateya said, utterly soaked through and standing in an inch and a half of ricewater.
Ava snuffled at their wrist drippily.
“It's fine,” they said, keeping a few feet off the ground and surveying the situation.
“I'm going to go tell the boss to stay put. We'll handle this,” he said. “Can you get the doors open?”
Ateya nodded, and sloshed over to the large wooden doors to let some of the water out while Ava zipped off to some other part of the library to keep Leonidas from witnessing the mess they'd made of his entryway, and presumably save him from having an aneurysm.
Between lugging the rice to the library to begin with and giving Ava's snout such an aggressive and thorough massaging, Ateya's muscles were well and truly fatigued and starting to feel sore by the time she reached the big double doors. She fought to get the lock undone, and struggled with the doors themselves, trying to pry one open just enough to get a shoulder behind and shove against with all her might so it would move. The rush of rice and water pushing back along the floor did not help much.
She had the first door halfway open, and was leaning all her weight against it when Ava returned holding a push broom and a pair of squeegees. They flew over to help her, and she nearly fell when the door swung open from beneath her efforts. She stumbled and caught herself.
“Thanks,” she panted, bracing herself on her thighs to catch her breath.
Ava fluttered over to the other door to get it opened as well.
“You exhausted yourself bringing that to me ” they observed.
“I know,” she said. “Probably not my best idea, considering...”
She gestured briefly and vaguely at the floor to indicate the rest of the thought.
“Hmm... But I do feel a bit better,” Ava said, smirking down at her encouragingly from where they hovered. “I appreciate your efforts. It was very thoughtful and very kind of you.”
Despite the exhaustion, the sore muscles, the thorough soaking, and the arduous task ahead, Ateya broke into a grin.
“Nice,” she said.
No books were returned to the shelves that evening. Instead, Ateya and Ava spent the rest of the night painstakingly removing sopping wet, heavy, uncooked rice from not only every corner and crevice of the entryway, but also the entrances of every room and hallway adjoining it on the first level.
Ava insisted on taking the brunt of the sweeping, and once everything was clean they shuffled everything down the steps, off the curb, and into the road for the street sweeper to take care of in the early morning, which was approaching more rapidly than either of them would have wanted.
“I may have made a mistake,” Ateya said, slouching against the doorframe as Ava flew back inside and alighted on the now-dry marble. They gave a short inquisitive hum in response.
“I still have to walk home,” she complained woefully, sinking down to the ground.
“You said you live close?” Ava asked. Ateya looked up at them from where she sat.
“Yeah, but it's still going to be a bitch,” she said. At least her shirt was nearly dry. It wouldn't be any good for her to catch a chill from the whole experience, herself.
“You don't have to walk,” Ava said, shaking their head.
“What are you talking about? Of course I have to walk,” Ateya said. “I don't think Leonidas would be too keen on me staying over and besides, I have work in a few hours. Oh who am I kidding, I'm probably going to call out. I'm not going to be able to move tomorrow...”
“I'll fly you home,” Ava offered.
“Really?” Ateya asked. Ava gave a small, snorting grunt and a nod.
“You've put yourself out a great deal, just to be kind to me. It is the least I can do,” they said.
“That would be amazing,” Ateya said gratefully, feeling altogether too limp to refuse.
The flight to Ateya's seventh story walk-up was just as smooth and fluid as their flights through the library had been, if noticeably slower. Ava didn't race through the streets as they raced around their home. The trip was still faster than most vehicles, and significantly quicker than walking would have been. They flew her right up to her bedroom window to save her the trouble of getting up the stairs.
It was a bit awkward trying to slide the windowpane open from within Ava's arms, but Ateya was able to manage it, then clambering inside and dropping unceremoniously to the floor. She got herself up onto her knees and propped herself against the window ledge by the elbows.
“Thanks,” she said.
Ava smiled and gave her a nod.
“You're most welcome,” they said. Then looking out at the sky, they nodded to themself.
“I need to head back to the library, the sun will be up soon. Thank you again, for all your help. -sngrrkh!- I truly appreciate it,” they said. It was the first time Ateya had heard them snort like that in a few hours. Maybe the rice really had helped.
“I'm glad it was worth the clean-up,” she smirked back. “You have to get back by sunrise? Is Leo expecting you?”
“He is, but that isn't why,” Ava said. “I need to resume my post before repetrifying. ...I can tell you more about it later, if you're interested.”
Ateya yawned massively and gave a nod.
“I won't keep you then. Goodnight, Ava. Or. Good morning? I'll see you around,” she said. Ava gave a quick nod, and made back for the library like a bat out of hell, disappearing with a blur in a rustle of wind.
Ateya stared after them for a moment before dragging herself heavily to her bed, pulling herself up onto it, rolling over, and falling asleep in her dayclothes.
Cold as Death
Behold! My first not "In Need of Care" script! (It was gonna be a different one but shush, I'm still working on it, I just cranked this out in like a day.)
Key for readers and anyone who wants to use this script for an audio!
Both speaker and listener are written as gender neutral. Speaker talks very politely and eloquently, potentially with some sort of specific accent if so desired.
Script:
Large old door creaking open
Footsteps across stone flooring
(from distance, echoing in the grand room; a slightly congested voice speaking with a tone that is intended to be calmly imposing) "You would do well to recondsider your presendce—"
Sound of a dagger or a short sword being drawn in surprise
(still calm) "— and it would seemb you are aware this is ndot a place onde should simply enter."
Echoing footsteps coming closer, descending a grand staircase
"But if such is the case, t-thend begs the— t-the questiond-hh...ehxcuse'mbe—!"
(Turned away, stifled harshly into a handkerchief) "—hi-Hik'gtChUu!-ihGt'chu!-eck'tsHu!-hek'SChU!—"
(out of breath, voice still wavering slightly, still muffled by handkerchief) "—onde—dhih-! o-onde'mbOre—IHk'KgChiUu!!"
(catching breath, face still partially in handkerchief) "ohh...oh dear, please—*snf*—do pardond mbe. I-I'mb afraid I— well...*snf* suppose sayigg I'mb a bit undwell 'at the mbombent' would be a bit misleadigg;" (slightly mumbled) "rather implies there has beend a timbe of wellndess for mbe in the past few centuries...*snf*"
(..?)
(lowers handkerchief entirely) "Hmb-? Oh, yes, apologies, where was I...? It would seemb the foggindess of freshly wakigg still lingers...well—(polite and proper tone) ndevertheless, I do advise that you depart back the way you cambe—*snfl*—"
"— surely you've heard the stories the towndsfolk speak of this old mbanor. Though perhaps embellished sombewhat over timbe, I assure you they are mbostly true; as I'mb sure you've gathered given the rather pale ad gaunt goul of an individual who stands before you."
(...)
(Softly acknowledging, not surprised but not as though it had been expected) "Ahh,—*snf*— combe to slay mbe have you? It has beend sombe timbe...—h-hehh— hhohh eh-ehxuse'mbe'againd—!"
(turns away again, stifling a bit less efficiently this time into handkerchief) "—h-HEk'GshUu! Hyeh'TchUu!—....oh-onde always lingers-SEk'ChuU!—*snfl*..."
*soft fabric shuffling and wet sniffling as the speaker tries to tend to their running nose in a not-too-unsightly manner*
(slightly resigned) "*snfl, sigh*— as I was sayigg, it has beend quite sombe timbe sindce sombeonde has combe with the intent to attempt such a pointless goal. Ndot mandy travel this far ndorth, evend fewer stay logg endough to fandcy a bit of slayigg; ad the locals have mbuch better thiggs to do thand endeavor to kill the immbortal recluse who spends their days— s-spehnds their'dhays—!"
(brings handkerchief to nose, not really managing to stifle and more just half-blowing their nose into the kerchief) "—hHiKGsSHUuU! Eh-excuse'mbe— eEHkSHUuUU!!...ohh..."
*sniffling wetly into handkerchief, out of breath and slightly weary sounding*
(..?)
(a bit sheepish) "O-ohh...well...s-suffice to say I—*snf*— I don't do mbuch other thand catch the occasiondal deer to drink and— Eh'HiKChiEWw! *Snf*— try to hide from the cold ind whichever roomb of this mbanor I find to be the least frigid; usually the sittigg roomb, though I-I haven't the stregth to procure andy wood for a fire..."
(..?)
"Hmb? W-Well yes, I-I amb aware that with my... sanguinde afflictiond usually combes advandced stregth but—*snf*—that is whend onde satiates their hunger ond the blood of mban. Ad I—*snfl*— have ndo williggndess to do andythigg of the sort."
(...)
(mildly humoured) "I don't blambe you for ndot takigg mby word, but, think of the stories you heard from the towndspeople; did andy of themb indvolve mbe attackigg or draindigg andyonde? Surely if I had donde such a thigg it would have spread like wildfire, ndo? Indstilled a mbuch deeper fear of mbe in their hearts?"
"Had I spent these past centuries—*snf*— drinkigg fromb people ad runnding ambuck, I'd be a— hehh...— I-I'd be a—hh— a-a mbh-mbore legally wanted—hidhH-!— individual—!"(Turned away but uncovered) "—HeDsSHhEiWw!!"
(handkerchief hurriedly brought to face) "—hEKShIEewW!-EkShUu!-iChiEWw!"
(..?)
(not having heard them properly) "Wh-What—? HaGShHiEew!!...*snrf*"
(..?)
"Oh—*snf*— right; yes, I was wondering whend you'd ask about it. But, ndo, mby umb—*snfl*—mby state of undwell is ndot a symptomb of mby humban-free diet; I fear I amb...simply undlucky."
*takes a moment to once again try and delicately ease the suffering of their nose, attempting a soft half-blow before halting at the unseemly bubbling sound it produces.*
(...)
(sounding slightly defeated and reluctant) "*snfl* mhmb, I...I find it a bit embarrassing, really...b-but I suppose if it soothes your curiosity..."
"A logg timbe ago, back whed I was mortal; I was a rather...delicate individual. Nothigg dangerous, of course, just a mbildly poor condstitutiond but it was oftend I would be layed up ind bed, mby ndose buried ind a handkerchief, sneezigg and sh-shivering bendeath the covers as mby latest cold sustained itself ond mby sufferigg."
*sniffles, partially from their ailment and partially from the bitter memories*
"A-As it would happend, onde ndight, a rather ravendous and beastly goul broke into mby chambers. Seeigg me, sick ad weak as I was, as easy prey, it did ndot hesitate to try ad draind mbe for it's mbeal."
"I didn't die, of course, or— at least, ndot ind the usual way— sombeonde had heard the commbotiond and cambe to indvestigate, interruptigg the creatures feast. It fled but the dambage was donde, leavigg mbe with this curse, mby body dead ad andimbated ind the state I had beend ind upond infectiond; thh-that is to say—"
(weakly tries to catch the sneezes in the handkerchief but is only partially successful) "—h-heHKsHIUu! Huh-hurEKShUu!— s-sndiffligg ad...hahh—*snf*...sndeezigg myself silly with this-hh— this dreadful chill—! hAGsSHIEwWw!!—"
(embarrassed and apologetic, sniffling desperately against the aftermath of that particularly messy sneeze) "*SnFl*-ohh— *snRk*-oh dear...— I-I'mb so sorry, I have to— h-have'to—! EhHK-*Desperate, noisy blow forced out by the sneeze*"
*pauses for a moment, takes another deep breath, and gives another thick blow into the kerchief*
*sound of miserable, embarrassed relief from behind the handkerchief; soft squelching as they massage their nose.*
*speaker catches their breath, interspersed with distinctly pathetic sniffles.*
(audibly drained from the force as well as embarrassed and ashamed at their poor manners) "...apologies...I've beend tryigg to—*snf*— avoid beigg so grossly undcouth whilst you were here. Though you mbay have combe with the intent of endigg mbe, a-ad by ndow I doubt the status I held due to mby fambily is very mbeandiggful; it is still rather shambeful for sombeonde with mby upbringing to be—*snf*—such a mbess, ndo matter how many centuries have passed..."
(...)
(tiredly confused and surprised) "w-what's that—? Oh—"
Fabric shifting as the listener carefully offers their handkerchief
(hesitate but slightly touched) "— your...your handkerchief. I...*snf*—I suppose mbinde has grownd a bit spent after...*ahem*"
More fabric shifting as the speaker gently takes the kerchief
(carefully brings the handkerchief to their nose, dabbing at it softly) "T-Thank you, I could have s-simply fetched mbyself a fresh onde, goodndess kndows I have a plethora, but..."
*sniffles against the loaned hankie*
(voice wavering a little, but not from tickles, from contained emotionality) "...It—*snf*— it's beend a very logg timbe sindce I received such gentlendess I—*hic*—! I-I'mb sorry—*snrfl*—"
(tries to keep it together) "S-surely you're eager to be o-ond your way ndow that you kndow there is very little glory ind endigg a rather p-pathetic creature like mbyself..."
(...)
Steps walking forward
Sound of one cloth covered body impacting softly with another
"Ah-!..."
*shaky breaths and liquidy sniffles gradually turns into soft weeping.*
Fabric shifting and soft footsteps as the listener gently brings them to sit on the staircase
*speaker continues to cry, sniffling and hiccuping muffled slightly into the listeners shoulder*
(between weeping sniffles and hiccups, voice very weak and trembling) "—hih...Hh—! O-Oh dear...—Oh-heH! Oh ndo-! I—"
Slight fabric shuffling
(..?)
"— I-I'mb goigg'to—! IHh-I'mb'sorrY—!"
(buried back into the listeners shoulder) "— hHyAShHIEewW!! Hih-iH-eYh!—eYEgShHIEeEWWw!-EHkShiEW!-aPShHieWw!—"
(wait for it~)
"— hREgSHIEeWWw!!"
Fabric shuffling as speaker leans back away from listeners shoulder
(weepy, embarrassed, apologetic) "I—*snf*— I'mb so sorry...that— that was terrible, you—*snRk*— you were so kind as to—*hic*— to hold mbe, a-a stranger, a vampiric onde ndo less, and I—*hic*— I soaked your shirt with—*snf*— s-sndot ad— ad tears..."
(...)
(confused but slightly hopeful) "w-What—? You—*snrK*— you are ndot cross...? But— but your shirt, I— I've drenched your chest with—*snfk*— with this eterndal cold; y-you mbust be disgusted..."
(..?)
"hmb? Well—*snf*— nd-ndo I...I suppose it's undlikely to be—*snrf*— contagious; i-it's really mbore a symptom of mby specific vampiric curse rather thand andy formb of—*snfl*— of virus..."
(...)
(confused but gently relieved) "thend...thend if you truly don't mbind...perhaps—*snf*— we could stay like this...just a little logger? You're—" fabric shuffle as speaker snuggles back into listener "— you're so warmb. I haven't—*snrf*—I haven't felt warmbth like this ind so logg...I forgot how blissful it cand be; the warmbth of andother, a carigg embrace."
*speaker once again nuzzles closer into the listeners shirt, snuggling closer on the staircase, their words muffled from here on*
(growing sleepy) "I...I find mbyself growigg drowsy from your bodyheat. Would you—? Would you mbind if I let mbyself drift off for a mbombent? I amb usually ndocturndal but...I struggle to keep mby eyes opend againdst the ondslaught of combfort—*snfl*"
(...~)
(happily sleepy) "mbh, thank you...I hope you will still be here whend I wake, ad this isn't all just a...a wonderfully warmb dream..."
(pause)
"...hh...h-ihh-...hEh!—hEkShhUu!..."
(..?~)
"-hheh...—hEgShiuU!!...*snf*"
(...~)
(seconds from falling asleep) "thank you, kind slayer...*snfl*..."
The end(?)
tickle tickle =]
Title: Seraphina Comes Home
Fandom: Original
Characters: Bane and Seraphina
Tags/Warnings: male sneezes, allergies, monster/furry sneezes, caretaking
Summary: When Seraphina moves back in with her parents after a breakup, the last thing she expects is to be reunited with Bane, her imaginary friend from her childhood. She also wasn't expecting to nurse Bane through his seasonal allergies.
Seraphina Comes Home
Seraphina hadn’t expected her childhood bedroom to feel so small.
At nineteen, everything about it seemed frozen in time—posters still clinging to the walls, a lamp on the bedside table, the faint scent of old books and lavender. It was comforting in a distant, almost unreal way… but also a reminder of everything she thought she’d left behind.
Including Dylan.
She lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, replaying the breakup for what felt like the hundredth time. Eventually, exhaustion won, and her eyes drifted shut.
Snff… snf…
Her eyes snapped open. She held her breath, listening.
Snff… snrrfff…
The sound was unmistakable—someone sniffling. Wet, uneven, like they were trying very hard not to be heard.
Seraphina pushed herself up on her elbows, heart thudding.
“Hello?”
Silence.
She glanced toward the closet. The door was slightly ajar.
"Snff… Huhhh…"
“…Okay, that’s not funny,” she muttered, swinging her legs over the side of the bed.
She took a cautious step forward.
“HUUUUHHHH—”
She froze.
“HHRRRRCCHHHUUMMMPH!!”
The closet door burst open as what sounded like a massive, half-stifled sneeze exploded through the room like a thunderclap. Clothes, old boxes, and a stuffed toy flew out of the closet and scattered across the floor.
Seraphina yelped, stumbling back, her heart racing.
From the wreckage, something moved. Something huge.
A massive figure slowly unfolded itself from the cramped space, rising to its full, towering height—easily seven feet tall. Shaggy dark purple hair fell around broad shoulders. Blue-grey skin stretched over a powerful frame. Pointed ears twitched faintly.
And his eyes—bright yellow—blinked at her in confusion.
“Sera...?” he rumbled, voice thick and a little stuffy.
Seraphina froze.
Her mind scrambled, trying to make sense of what she was seeing—but there was no mistaking the big, round nose, the familiar posture, the presence that felt like a memory come to life.
“Bane?”
He stared at her. She stared at him.
For a long, suspended moment, neither of them moved.
Then—
“Sera!” he boomed, his face lighting up.
“Bane!” she laughed, the shock cracking into pure disbelief and joy.
She ran forward, and he dropped to one knee to meet her, scooping her into a hug. Despite his size, he held her gently, like he always used to.
“You’re real,” she breathed, half laughing, half crying. “You’re actually real!”
"Of course I'm real," he said, his smile showing his sharp fangs — intimidating, but harmless. "You created me. I'm as real as you want me to be."
She smiled, burying her face against his chest.
“You came back,” he said, nuzzling the top of her head. “I waited. I stayed right where you left me.”
She pulled back just enough to look at him properly, her hands resting against his arms.
“I thought I imagined you.”
"Technically, you did," he said with a sly grin. She smiled back.
Bane sniffled softly, his big nose twitching.
That familiar sound made her pause.
“Hey, big guy,” she said, tilting her head. “Are you okay?”
He blinked, then gave a sheepish sort of shrug.
“Hhm… yeah. Just… snff… this time of year…”
His nose wrinkled, nostrils flaring slightly.
Seraphina’s expression softened.
“Allergies?”
Bane groaned quietly, nodding his big shaggy head.
“Bad ones,” he admitted thickly. “Everythi'g tickles by dose. Dust, old stuff… your closet is… huh…huuuhhh…”
His breath hitched suddenly.
Seraphina’s eyes widened.
“Oh—wait—”
“HUHHH...HUUURRR!”
He turned away just in time.
“HUUUURRAAAACHOOOO!!”
The force of it ruffled her hair and sent a few more forgotten trinkets skittering across the floor.
“Wow,” she said, blinking.
Bane sniffled miserably, rubbing at his nose with the back of his hand.
“Sorry," he groaned, sounding even more congested. "Hope that did't wake your paredts up.”
She couldn’t help it—she laughed. Not at him, but at the sheer absurdity of it all.
“You haven’t changed at all, have you, buddy?”
He gave her a small, congested smile.
“You still call me that.”
“Of course I do.” She reached up, brushing some of his shaggy hair away from his face. “And you still call me Sera.”
“Always.”
For a moment, the room felt warmer. Safer. Like no time had passed at all.
Then his nose twitched again.
Snff… snrrf…
"Guhhh…" he groaned. Seraphina’s concern returned.
“Hey… you really sound miserable.”
Bane nodded, eyes watering slightly.
“Itchi'g… all the tibe… Huhh…”
His breath hitched again, but he managed to hold it back, groaning softly.
Seraphina smiled gently.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
He looked at her, surprised.
“You do?”
“Yeah.” She took his hand—huge compared to hers, but warm. “You took care of me when I was little, remember?”
Bane’s expression softened, something tender flickering in his glowing eyes.
“Yeah.”
“Well,” she said, giving his hand a small squeeze, “Now it’s my turn to take care of you.”
He let out a quiet, relieved rumble.
“Thadks, Sera…”
“Come on, big guy.”
She tugged him toward the bed.
“We’ll get you settled, find something for your allergies, maybe open a window…”
He followed her without hesitation, ducking slightly to avoid the ceiling.
As he sat down, his nose twitched again.
"HEEEHHH! Oh, doh...Huhh…"
His large hand hovered in front of his face as his big head tilted back, nose twitching. Seraphina grabbed a box of tissues from her nightstand just in time.
“Here—"
The eruption hit before he could take any tissues from the box.
“HHRRRAAACHOOOO!!”
It was loud and wet, spraying the air between them.
She winced slightly at the volume, then smiled, holding the tissues up to him.
“Bless you.”
Bane sniffled, taking them carefully.
“Thadks," he snuffled. "I did't sdeeze od you did I?”
"No," she said gently. Seraphina sat beside him, leaning comfortably against his arm.
The breakup, the hurt, the uncertainty—it all felt a little further away now.
Because somehow, impossibly, she wasn’t alone.
And as Bane gave another soft, sniffly breath beside her, she smiled.
“Don’t worry,” she murmured. “I’m not going anywhere this time.”
I am so normal about non human snz. Reblog if you are also so normal about non human snz
if you don't wanna see a fat sneezy dragon lady on your dash then too bad, she's here, and she's sneezin'. Better get out of the way~
ok snzblr hear me out:
plant girl who emits pollen when she’s horny, and she has the kink!
maybe it’s sex pollen, maybe she can even change what kind it is. like if you’re allergic to one type of flower specifically, she’ll mimic that flower’s pollen just for you.
that’s all I’ve got for now but just think about it!
