long overdue pinned post, might change it later. anyway…
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someone who naturally sneezes a lot but knows you like it, so they tease you with it every chance they get.
sneezing on you by "accident" (bonus if they're taller,) snurfling right against the shell of your ear, rubbing their nose on your neck so that you can hear the little squelching clicking sound it makes, constantly whining about how itchy their nose is, deliberately "forgetting" to take their allergy meds or to bring tissues with them,, dude the list goes on.
Groping femme tummy over a pretty dress.... possessive hip squeezes as I suck on her neck... little kisses peppered on her soft tummy before going down on her.....
hairpulling + sneeze kink. pulling someone over by the hair to bring them within inducing range, to sneeze on them, to make them sneeze on you, to break their concentration while theyre trying to hold back, to reprimand them for their lack of control........etc
ok this is completely pervert brain but........ puppy play but also allergy play. idk if the puppy has allergies and snot is running through their mask or if the top is allergic to the puppy.......mmmmmmm
If you're looking for a sign to be sluttier this is it.
Text them, sext them, post that nude. Buy the outfit that shows off too much, wear it. Even if you feel self conscious at first you'll love being a slutty sex object once you give it a try.
welcome back to the whimsiverse! since pt i is really just plot and character introduction i decided to post pt ii at the same time cuz that's where all the snz starts
enjoy!
Summary: Raizenauld returns. He's still in trouble, and now he's got a real dragon of a cold.
3k words, Rated PG, CWs: mild fantasy violence. Cold sneezes, Dragon!sneeze, Magic!sneeze, Clumsy!sneeze, Trying not to sneeze, Sneezing while hiding, Blessing sneezes, M sneeze
pt i
pt ii
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⚜⚜⚜
It was only a little over two weeks before she saw him again. This time on a blustery, overcast day, the prickling heat run off by an oncoming storm.
Once again Raizenauld burst through her door, nearly tripping over himself in the process, winded and panting as he raced to her and all but collapsed in her arms.
“It didn't work,” he exclaimed, hanging from her and panting, shaking, near tears. “And I think they've figured out ocean travel. They could be here any minute.”
Sue glanced up, alarmed, and scanned through the windows and doors as she held him close and kept him standing. Nothing so far...
“What do you mean, it didn't work? The enchantment was faulty?” she asked, dismayed. She'd feel just terrible if her work had failed someone.
Raizenauld shook his head, still clinging to her and trembling.
“No, the enchantment was wonderful! Is wonderful. It's still functional...I think,” Raizenauld said, “It put them to sleep straight away! But they came back with ear plugs, and it- it– h'ohh no...”
Raiz gasped and stepped back, clumsily shoving off of Sue, nearly tripping over his own ankles.
“What's wrong? Have you heard them approach?” Sue asked, checking the windows again and seeing no one still, as Raizenauld pivoted to try and regain his balance, stumbled, and over-corrected, teetering on his heels. He shook his head, wiggling his nose furiously and pulling all kinds of faces as he responded, or tried to.
The sneeze flew from him in a burst of electrical sparks, and unbalanced as he was, landed him right on the floor on his behind.
Sue blinked, startled.
“My goodness, bless you! Are you alright?” she said, reaching to help him up again. Raizen was too busy sniffling and rubbing furiously at the sides of his nose to accept.
“I'm fhiiii... –hihh! Fhhhiihhne... I juhh– uuhhst– hihh! snfh!! hh-hehh!! hatSCHhyuwh!! snrfkh!! ...... ‘tchSHYWh!! hohh... snrgkfl! whew... snfgh! ...I just have a cold. snfghk!”
Smoke puffed out from behind his hands and through the cracks between his fingers with each sneeze, and drifted lazily from his lips and nostrils now as he patted himself down to find his handkerchief. A simple one, white with a black musical staff and notes as a border. Sue kept a weather eye outside the shop as Raizenauld sat and blew his nose.
“Bless you,” she said again, frowning in sympathy. Getting a better look at him now, as she once again reached down, this time succeeding in helping him to his feet, the poor thing did look unwell. He was paler than the last time they'd met, save for the edges of his nostrils which had already been rubbed pink. Dark shadows hung under his eyes, which themselves were a bit reddened as if he'd been crying.
Raizenauld sniffled miserably.
“Thanks,” he said, collecting himself. He, like Sue, kept glancing out the windows, scanning to see if his pursuers were nearby.
“Rotten luck, getting a cold at a time like this,” Sue said. Raizenauld sniffled again and agreed, nodding his head.
“I've been so stressed, and I haven't really slept. It was... snffh! hheeh? ...snffkh! hhhff... it was bound to happen,” he replied, sniffling at the edges of another sneeze and losing it in the middle of his sentence. Sue rubbed at his arm sympathetically, trying to give some small comfort.
“It's all going to be okay. Nothing we can't figure out and take care of,” she assured him. Raizenauld sniffled again and nodded.
“Thank you, I— Oh no. That's them, they're here,” he said, eyes widening as he caught sight of the group of adventurers wandering the street outside. He turned his attention to Sue as he scrambled to put her between himself and the door. Sue in turn looked to where he directed, making note of the band of troublemakers wandering the streets of her little town.
“What do I do? What do I do?” Raizenauld rambled, starting to panic, and shake, that frenzied terror that Sue had already grown too familiar with entering his eyes.
Right. Time to take charge of the situation for this poor gentle beast. She turned and put a hand on his shoulder, looking him confidently in the eye.
“Get into my store room, close the door, and stay there. I'll take care of this,” she said, ushering poor Raizenauld along.
“Okay! Okay, I can do that. I can do that. Just, stay in the store room. Stay in the store room and keep the door shut, I can do that. Just stay in the store room,” he started babbling fearfully to himself.
“And stay quiet,” Sue added, seeing this. Raizen shut himself up mid-sentence and gave a sharp nod as Sue closed the door behind him, returning to her place at the counter and pretending at managing her ledger while she kept an eye on the door.
It wasn't long before the miscreants in question wandered in, four rough looking young men, the leader of whom couldn't have been older than twenty-five. He had short, dirty blond hair and mean eyes. He approached the counter and tapped on it to get Sue's attention when she didn't appear to notice them coming in. She glanced up at them.
“Yes, hello. And how may I help you boys today?” she said, politely.
The young man gave her a vague nod with his chin, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he talked.
“We're looking for someone. Maybe you've seen him,” he said. “Tall guy, real thin. He's got this streak of white in his hair, he's hard to miss. Shop owner down the way said he saw him come in this way.”
Sue tilted her head, her lips pressing into a line. She'd have to have a word with Mr. Preston regarding not chatting about the people he sees coming in and out of her shop, some of her clients are very private individuals.
“Hmm, I'm quite sure I don't know who you mean,” she said, lacing a bit of magic into her words as she continued on. “You're not going to find him here, so why don't you all go on your way and leave this fellow alone?”
One of the group, he looked to be the youngest of them, sighed impatiently and turned as if to go, but the others held him back, unconvinced.
“Are you sure you don't remember anyone of that description coming in here?” the leader said, sliding a few silver and a gold piece across the counter as if to entice her.
Sue glanced down at the coins in a flash of thinly veiled disgust, leaving them untouched. She glanced back up to them.
“I'm sure, you'll find there's no one of that description here, just me in my little old magic shop,” she said.
A breathy “hhuh!” sounded from her store room just then, and she did her best to cover the sound by clearing her throat loudly. It did not fool the keen ears of the adventuring troupe's leader, his eyes darting to the back of the shop. Sue interposed herself between them, blocking his line of sight to the store room door.
“And if there was, I'm sure you would find him under my protection,” she asserted, staring daggers into the adventurer's eyes.
“h’aAHGDZZZZZTs!!”
The most strangled, electrically buzzing sneeze sounded from her store room all in a rush, a bright white light flashing beneath the door followed by the clattering crashing sound of someone falling into a very full shelving unit.
The lead adventurer glanced Sue up and down, sizing her up, then attempted to push past her.
“The protection of a little old witch? I'll take my chances. What are you going to do, turn me into a frog?” he said with a sneer.
Sue's eyes closed, one of her brows giving an irritated twitch, and when she opened them again something violent and impatient flashed in them.
Raising one hand in a sweeping motion, she snapped her fingers and the atmosphere in the shop went cold and dark, the sound like a thunderclap, wind whipping through the storefront as a length of dazzling lightning materialized from thin air and snaked around all four party members. It tightened, sweeping the brazen young team leader from his feet and binding all four of them together at the center of the floor as it singed through their clothes. The adventurers squirmed and whimpered as the spell raised them into the air.
“The four of you have a lot of nerve, you know, hunting down peaceful creatures for your own material gain,” Sue said, starting in on them as she held them aloft. The same mortal fear she'd seen so recently and so often in Raizenauld now reflected in all of their eyes, their whimpering turning to begging.
“Not yet, you won't,” she said. “You're going to stay right there, and you're going to listen.”
The young man sniffled and nodded, closing his eyes.
“I bet you boys think you're really tough going after a big magical creature don't you? Isn't that what you want? To go and appear big and strong in front of this guild leader of yours?” she said, staring them down and holding them aloft within the crackling, snapping lightning chains all the while.
“There is nothing more childish, hateful, and weak than hunting a peaceful magical creature. I know your type—prideful, cowardly, seeking out anything you think won't fight back to make yourselves feel powerful and good about yourselves,” she spat, “Pathetic. Of all the things you could be doing with your time, you choose wanton violence and destruction.”
Another strangled, electrically charged sneeze sounded riotously from the store room, and another, and then another still. A few legs of lightning sprayed off in that direction, missing Sue herself by inches. She stood unflinching, unwavering.
“Now. You boys are going to let this go. You're going to go home, and you're going to spend the rest of your lives doing something productive with yourselves. And if I hear that you've been hunting friendly dragons or any peaceable creature for sport or conquest ever again, there will be hell to pay. And I will know,” she threatened, tightening the bindings until they sparked against the young men's skin. They let out a chorus of yelps and agreements.
Sue stepped close, electricity arcing and sparking off her hair and robes as she drew them all towards her, getting close to the party leader's face.
“And that's little old wizard to you,” she spat.
With a flick of her wrist, the lightning crackled and faded, the lights coming back up in the room, leaving the adventuring party to drop to the floor of the shop in a heap. Upon regaining control of their own mobility, most of the troupe scrambled up and made for the door. Even the group's leader, despite giving Sue a petulant glare in his defeat, relented and made a retreat, exiting the shop with fists clenched and shaking.
Sue waited until the entire group was far out of sight, seemingly making for one of the town's taverns to lick their wounds and presumably reevaluate their life's choices, before speaking up.
“You can come out, now. They're gone,” she called sweetly to Raizenauld, still hiding in her shop's store room. Opening the door, she found him sat on the floor with his hands clasped tightly around his nose and mouth, his hair smoking and his back pressed against a shelving unit upon which several items were scattered and overturned. A few of them bore scorch marks.
Sue's eyes widened in surprise at the state of him, and Raizenauld sniffled, staring up at her pitifully, a hint of that fear lingering in his gaze.
“I'm sorry,” he said. “I trhhieehd to hold it ih- ihhn but– I c–Hh! ghHhk! hhHgh!! h'AHGDZZZZZTs-shiewh!!”
As he became overtaken by another sneeze, smothering it into the tight clench of his hands, electricity arced and cracked over his entire form, shocking him and making bits of his hair stand on end. A few more scorches burned into the shelf at his back.
“...I couldn't.” he finished, then sniffling and rubbing at his nose.
Sue tsk'd in sympathy and made to help the poor thing up, again, neverminding the shock she took taking his hand. Taking stock of the damages... Well, it was nothing that couldn't be replaced, and it was well worth the cost to keep this nice creature safe.
“Bless you. Now that's alright, you tried your best, and I know you didn't mean any harm,” she said, dusting him off and barely flinching when a few stray sparks of electricity continued to shock her fingertips in doing so. Raizen sniffled again, fishing his handkerchief back out and blowing his nose ferociously, then giving quite the shiver before blowing it again.
“Are they really gone for good?” he asked, still nervously peering out the windows as if they would return for him at any moment. Sue nodded reassuringly, putting a hand on his arm.
“They are, and they won't be bothering you again,” she said. “Or anybody else for that matter, I'm going to make sure of it. A wizard's very good at keeping tabs on people, you know. If I get wind of any nonsense they're going to regret it.”
Raizenauld grabbed her in a tight, grateful hug.
“Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I can't thank you enough. You're just like people say,” he said, pressing his cheek against the top of her head.
The tight hug was interrupted by his sniffling sharply and taking a few unsteady steps back, wobbling as his nose performed acrobatics at the center of his face.
“Ss-hohhrry I uhh– hahh– hh! haAHh—! HAA'TSSHHHOOhie!!”
A spray of lightning bolts showered forth and crackled out in the air, and Raizenauld, overbalancing again as one knee came up with the force of it, once again sneezed himself to the floor. Sue began to wonder if this was a regular occurrence for him.
“Bless you,” she said, offering her hand down to him once more.
“Thank you,” he said, pulling himself up and swiping the back of a wrist at his nose.
Sue considered him again. Rhuemy-eyed, clammy, pale, and sniffling near constantly. He didn't look in any shape to be up and about, much less flying long distances over the sea.
“You are sick, aren't you?” she cooed quietly, frowning at him sympathetically. Raizenauld nodded, submitting to her fussing easily.
“I know you probably have a lovely collection to return to someplace, but could I convince you to stay for a while and take some tea first? A bit of rest would do you a lot of good before the long journey home...” she continued.
“Okay,” Raizen said, readily persuaded. Sue couldn't tell if he was just pliable with gratitude or if the poor beast was really feeling that poorly, but she was glad he decided to stay. After all this excitement now she really was very curious about him, and she really would have worried about him making it home safe all that way without a chance to regroup. There's nowhere to land and catch your breath out over the ocean, after all.
It wouldn't, or at least shouldn't, have been an issue for a dragon who was well, dragons being such powerful beasts after all, but for one who was sick and exhausted... It was no wonder Raizenauld was collapsing against her and panting when he arrived, the poor thing must've run himself ragged trying to escape those brutes. It's a wonder the poor thing had made it here at all under those conditions, and another trip back like this would have just been asking for trouble.
After giving the coins those ne'er do wells left on her countertop a quick check over for funny business—one can never be too careful—and finding them normal, Sue swept them into the shop's register, and then locked it up for the rest of the day.
“Come along, I think it's about time you had the chance to relax,” she then said, leading Raizenauld out of the shop and locking the door behind.
The wind was picking up outside, and the air was damp with a will to rain. Sue frowned up at the weather, considering.
Between the impending storm, and the very probable lingering presence of those ruffians here in town, she made her mind up fairly quickly. Shaking her head, she unlocked the door and led Raizenauld back inside.
“Did you forget something? I'm always doing that,” he said, amiably.
“No, I haven't,” she said, smirking as she relocked the door. Raizenauld nodded.
“Oh, okay. That's good,” he said. After pausing a moment, speaking up again as he followed her through the shop, he said, “Wait, if you didn't forget anything then why are we coming back inside?”
Sue grinned up at him then with a twinkle in her eye.
“Because you get to find out where that secret passage leads to, today,” she said, opening back up the door to her store room and leading Raizenauld through it, stepping around a few overturned items that had fallen to the floor during his brief yet eventful stay there.
