The Monster in My Closet [Chp 2: Lunchtime]
The next thing he heard was Gabriel banging on the bedroom door, bellowing something about school and breakfast. Cas sat up groggily, wincing at the full-body ache. The storm last night had certainly tensed him right up...but there was a nagging sense of wrongness, like his mind was unable to shake off a good dream. "I'm coming Gabriel shut up, God!" he called out, putting uneasy feet on the ground and standing. The blood ran to his head and he swayed...and felt a distinct trickle down his thigh. It all came rushing back--a boy-man-demon thing, green eyes, huge cock, kissing--he bit back a yelp.
"Whatever! Hey, next time you're jerkin' it, could you keep it down? I could hear you over the storm!"
"SHUT UP GABRIEL!" Cas shouted, throwing a pillow at the door. He heard Gabriel cackle and dash away from the door. Getting up a second time and shuffling around the room, Cas wondered where his closet-monster was. Probably asleep, if daytime was his nighttime. Thinking of that set him to wondering what it looked like; the in-between place where Dean lived. Imagining it took Cas all the way down the stairs and out the door before the dread of facing another soul-crushing day of highschool snapped him back to reality. Walking by himself, under a backpack that weighed fourteen tons if it weighed anything. He felt like Atlas; doomed and alone. That was another thing the therapist was supposed to be working out with him. If anyone had ever bothered to ask his opinion, he could've told them those three hours a week were a waste of fucking time. But no one ever really bothered to ask his opinion, probably for that very reason.
Lunchtime rolled around, allowing Cas to beat retreat to the library as was becoming the norm. He didn't know how to campaign for friends like Michael and he wasn't charming and embraceable like Gabe. He was just weird, loner, comfier-with-books-than-people Castiel. At this point he was just killing time in class until graduation, when the world would open up and he could get the hell out of this tiny-ass stupid-ass little town with its cliques and its money-smell and its stupid expectations that no real human being could live up to and be happy!
But until then, he'd hide in the library, at home with the dust and the book-smell and the perfect-place-to-avoid-everyone-factor. He settled way in the back of fiction, where the lights were almost always half-burnt out. No one--not even the librarian--would notice him lunching there. Cas opened his brownbag and sighed. Fucking tuna salad; he hated tuna salad! But at least there was a fruit cup and a juice barrel to go with it; he'd just survive on that until the last bell rang and he could go home.
"Psst. Psst. Pssssssst."
Cas startled, looking around for the flood of snakes that was clearly coming his way.
"Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst. Down here Cas. Next to Huck Finn."
Setting his lunch aside, Cas reached cautiously for the shelf, pushing the leaning Twain volume aside. There and no bigger than a Ken doll, was Dean. With more light Cas could see he was barefoot. Something about those tiny little toes making tracks in the dust was very endearing. "Dean? What are you doing here?"
"You go school, I go school. Easy; shadows like doors. Your bag-bag make nice shadow. Lots of stuff in it."
Well now he knew why his phone and his calculator batteries were always dying. "Have you always been doing this?"
Dean nodded, coming out of the shelf enough to sit down at the edge. He swung his feet, making tiny pock-pock noises as he drummed heels against the wood. "Want be smart like you."
"I'm not smart." Cas said with a snort.
"Are so! You read all the books, make scratch-scratch on papers with pen. I try scratch-scratch, mostly just make mess."
And now he knew why his pens kept breaking. Cas reached out with a finger and touched the top of Dean's head. "You're obnoxious, you know that?" he rubbed a little; Dean's hair was soft like rabbit fur. "You break my pens, run down my batteries...that is you, right?"
"Candy Crush fun." the little monster replied, leaning this way and that. He grumbled when Cas' finger brushed a horn.
It didn't seem like a noise of displeasure. Cas braved another grumble as he traced a curl with his nail; it didn't feel like bone and it didn't quite feel like fingernails. It was harder and smoother than any of that, at least between the ridges. But it must be something very live, because Dean was squirming and writhing like a cat in the middle of the best petting. Cas smiled. "I kind of like you this size. You're very cute."
"Easier to hide when small." he replied, turning his face towards Cas' finger.
Cas thought he would kiss, but instead there was a painful prick. "Ow!" He snatched his finger away, sucking a bead of blood away. It stung like a papercut but that little drop was the only blood in sight when he checked. Just as well, he didn't have a bandaid.
Dean looked very ashamed. "Sorry. Good feels. Went to kiss like monster...sorry."
Cas reached out with his unharmed hand and started to pet at Dean again. "No bites, ok?"
"Ok Cas." Dean sighed, leaning against his fingertip.
"So you've been coming to school with me every day? How come you've only just come out now?"
"Last night, you say we friends. I figure, ok to come out. Say hi. You by yourself, don't have to be."
Cas smiled bitterly. "Yes I do. Nobody wants much to do with me if I'm not doing their homework or touching their dick."
"You not touch my dick. I still here." Dean pointed out.
He couldn't help but laugh a little. "Well we did that last night."
"Still here though." Dean reached with both arms and grabbed Cas' finger, hugging it against his cheek. "Cas is friend. Never have to be by yourself again if you want."
Something inside was dangerously close to breaking. Cas snatched his hand away and covered his eyes, trying to bite back a sob. He almost succeeded, except for a tiny peep. Something thumped against his shoulder, startling him. A book had come off the shelf...and there was twelve inches of Dean, watching him worriedly.
"I say bad thing, didn't I? Sorry Cas, so sorry." He was making a pretty treacherous journey from the shelf to Cas shoulder, nearly slipping off. Cas caught him before he fell, but not before those strange nails put little holes in his shirt.
"No, no Dean...I'm just...sometimes I'm just sad. It wasn't you, it wasn't..." he settled Dean on his shoulder and felt the little monster nuzzling his jaw. "No I'm ok, really." Cas tried to sound firm, tried to jam the armor back on; weakness was intolerable on a thousand different levels.
Something rang in his ear, soft and vaguely comforting. It made him think of the birds Grandma Rose used to raise. It took him a minute to realize it was Dean trilling in his ear, still nuzzling against his skin. He smiled a little. "I'm ok Dean, really." Cas said as he wrapped a hand around the little monster and pulled him off his shoulder. "Promise." He added as he kissed Dean. When he pulled away, Dean was making an ugh-Grandma-kiss face. Cas laughed a little. "Sorry."
"It ok. Big lips kinda weird. Now know why tongue made you wiggle." Dean replied.
Cas gave another little laugh and hugged Dean to his cheek. "Your tongue was great Dean. I like you the way you are."
"You want I stay small-small?"
"No, no--I just meant...well your horns and your tongue and your glow-in-the-dark-eyes and your nails...you're my little monster. Big or small." He couldn't help but kiss Dean again, almost dropping him when he squirmed. But Dean was laughing, a funny little rasping sound from his little mouth.
"Yep-yep. Bell go 'dong', time for more ugh-class?"
Cas nodded. "Yes Dean, ugh-class. You want help getting back in the backpack?"
"I can make happen." he said with a yawn.
"Oh you're tired aren't you? Oh Dean, you gotta tell me these things." Cas scolded, opening his bag and pushing binders aside to settle him in it.
"I ok." Dean replied, peeping up at him. "I stay up late all time."
Cas gave his head another little pet. "It's just health class. You can sleep through that, I usually do."
Dean nodded, waving as Cas started to zip the backpack shut. He hoped Dean wasn't squished by anything shifting around as he got up. The warning bell rang; he'd have to eat the fruit cup on the run. That was kind of annoying...but it didn't put a dent in his kind-of-okay mood. He had a friend, a friend just for him. It was a good day.
