Moon Study and Ego Sublimation (Copy)
Oftentimes, when we are taking a good, hard look at ourselves, we speak of looking into the mirror, recognizing that we need to change, often through other people mirroring for us what needs to change within ourselves.
When I decided to stopped drinking, I found that I became a mirror for the many alcoholics who are too fragile to accept the truth of their situation. As a result, they dismissed me as the one with the problem. I got rejected a lot, and my friend group dwindled. In light of this example, while I love the mirror, I also wanted to smash it because it hurt all around. The mirror is not always the kindest source of learning. That being said, the mirror acts as a powerful catalyst that pushes us into honest reflection.
For me, Moon study has become an added source of support and growth when working in conjunction with the mirror. It offers a path beyond an initial shock of awareness. Moon study is a gentler way to intentionally work on those parts of myself that most need attention. While I am talking about harnessing the power of Moon ritual, let's analyze what the Moon offers as a metaphor.
Being that the Moon comes out at night, the Moon is associated with darkness. There are no mirrors. Instead of looking outward, the darkness requires us to sit with ourselves quietly, observing with senses other than physical sight. Eventually, with enough practice, we begin to see inward, which takes great courage because it is there that wounds and shadows have been hiding out while we've been distracting ourselves with the dramas of life.
These are the parts of ourselves that have been rejected by our community and by ourselves. These are the parts of ourselves that need attention, needing to be heard and honored. To hear and honor what needs healing in us. Discovering the source of our pain (the wound) means sitting with the pain, letting it pass through, and then embracing and integrating those parts of ourselves that have been dishonoured, shamed, or neglected. I have experienced this process many times now and can say that, as the pain welled up inside, working its way to the surface, it felt so overwhelming and threatening that I felt like I might literally die.
Why would anyone choose to put themselves through this?
My first thought after going through this process the first time was, “Wow, I survived it,” followed by a huge sigh of relief. That thought was immediately followed by the thing survivors build over time: feeling resilient. That amazing feeling empowered and motivated me to continue. I knew I was on the right path.
Integrating the lost pieces of ourselves leads to the feeling of growing wholeness, complete acceptance, and unconditional love for all that we are as humans. This process allows us to pull shame out by its roots and to use it as tinder to light the fires of creativity and motivation that will move us toward our life purposes.
To love yourself? To be so comfortable in your skin that other people's odd glances, judgmental comments, and ways of manipulation have no impact on you? Imagine attaining this kind of freedom.
Not only is it freedom, but it is what it means to be sovereign. To have complete sovereignty of ourselves in our lives without reference to anything or anyone else, to be guided by the Higher Self, to speak with authority, to be a champion, to change the world around us with unconditional love? We have a responsibility, not only to ourselves for our own peace and quality of life, but to those around us. People are suffering. Animals are suffering. Gaia is suffering. The state of our beings matters that much.
When Joseph Campbell outlined the hero's journey, he really didn't speak much to what happens to heroes that don’t make it through their journeys. Heroes do get stuck in the underworld. Some never get to finish their missions by slaying dragons and resurfacing to be the balm for their community. It is scary but true that heroes sometimes get lost in their journeys.
We are born with missions, but we are also given free will. We get to choose whether we show up as a coward hiding out in polarized dramas; whether we give in to the darkness that shows up to overtake us; or whether we emerge as heroes, beaten up and scarred, in our own stories and for those around us.
Our journey requires growth and resilience and overcoming increasingly large obstacles. Intentionally choosing most of our battles gives us an advantage in preparing for those battles that erupt out of seemingly nowhere. If we are practiced, skilled, and ready, we truly get to choose how we show up.
And, now I have made it back around to my point: Creating a spiritual course of study for ourselves empowers us on our journeys. I highly recommend Moon study as a part of any spiritual course.
Moon study creates a cyclical course of self-study through following and understanding the processes of the moon. New moon - new beginnings for goals. Waxing moon - growing intention and action around goals. Full moon - harvest of hard earned fruits. Waning moon - reflection and revision. Dark Moon - laying to rest what no longer serves, permanently.
It is a long but gentle process that demands patience and intention. By focusing on a particular wound or flaw or goal throughout the Moon's course, we gain amazing insights, gratitude, and empowerment. We are actively in the mix of learning and self-discovery, which adds to a growing appreciation of the self.
As I work through each Moon cycle, I gain an increasing understanding of the Moon's influence on me, literally. The Moon impacts life on this planet in an untold number of ways. Science says so (go research if you are in doubt).
I am gaining an ever-growing understanding that the Moon's pull on energies influences all energetic functioning affecting many aspects of my life. If it is doing the same for you and the guy down the street, then the moon is influencing all of us and how we impact each other. The more I study the moon and its energies, the more magical it feels to me because energies are pliable, and I can move with them, impact them, to a degree.
Opposed to "magic"? Please don't be. “Magic” as a word has come to be charged with negative meaning. What it signifies, however, is no different than a “Miracle.” Both point to a manifesting through prayer, which is just another way of moving with pliable energies, sending positive vibrations out into the Universe and then seeing evidence of them mixing with other energies, such as when a loved one is healed of an illness.
Through Moon cycles, my inner hero shows up, sword sheathed (most of the time) to talk business and wisdom. My inner hero grows and learns and trusts itself more than it ever has because she is actually beginning to do something no one else can truly do for her: believe in herself.
Belief in oneself on this level cannot be achieved with a bloated ego in tow. As we shed the pain and shame, the ego sublimates. When the ego sublimates, everyone - everything - wins.
Moon is showing me the way. With each cycle, I become transformed - a new version of me. I am set free yet again. I don't have to carry around heavy loads of guilt and shame anymore. If I choose it, I am always renewed, always growing, always transforming - by the light of the Moon.
I give thanks to Spirit, for my Higher Self, and for Moon and all of Her patient teaching.
Originally written in the Spring of 2021.