@flashfictionfridayofficial
She had waited for this. This last act. Had dreaded it.
Not for the challange it posed, compared to the things she had done
This time he would not forgive her. Not accept, not let her stay. She had know that before she did it. She had know it every time he had looked at her with anger, with pained love. With a lack of understanding of why she had needed to do waht she did.
This time he would send her away. And that she fear it was the problem. In other words beginning it had be devotion of a different kind the devotion of a servant, of a knight. Not matter how far form honorable her trait had been, she had been. It had been the devotion of someone that didn't expect a smile, and sweet love, someone that would leave when told.
Didn't expect to be welcomed talks of the ability to be able to offer any comfort to their master. Offer a kind of protection she had never known she was capable of before him. One that reminded her that she was not just the servant, not just the knives not just the had guard and the wall of flesh. The silent shadow moving interdependently from the Queen it was bound to. No, The kind of protection that reminded her that she was a human, that she could love that someone could love her.
She had put of this kill so long because she loved him, she fared losing him. He had been angry had scolded her every other time, had slowly lost his believe in her, had gotten more and more helpless. He couldn't understand that it was necessary that this was the best way to protect him. Because he was kind and warm and soft in a way she wasn't. Because he was so sure there must be an other way.
She knew better she knew that this was the best was to keep him save. And still she had put of tissue act until the end until she had cleaned out every other vermin that could become a thereat to him and his kindness. That could dim the warm light she was so scared of losing but not enough to cross this line. To Not do the thing she knew would keep him save would keep him in the potion he was.
She had put of this murder to the end because she knew this would not be something he would want to work through, something he hated but loved her more for. This would be the end not because she finally had freed him form this vermin that didn't understand how good he was, that threatened his standing. Not because this was the last one she had to do, this was her last step to off her depend, to free herself, but more importantly keep him form having to see the evil of the world the same way she did. That would preserve his ability to see the good the ability to chance in broken shards of colored glass like her, and vermin like them.
This was the last one not only because it was the last job that would free her form being this shadow, something less than a person, form being someone that could never alow herself to love whole already and laugh with their full chest, but because this was the end of them. Of him and her. This would hurt this him. And she hated that. This would make him finally see her as she monster that she was, this would be the last threat and he would finally push her away.
She had put this of because despite it freeing her form her service form the constant fear and planning, her chance to be a full human again, but because after she kill this one reveled their cruelty he would finally give up on her. He would make an end of them. Because he would believe he could have saved this target, because he would believe he could have changed them when he finally was confronted with their shrewdness.
She would leave. Before he could cut her lose she would lay this ones had on the feet of his father and run, before he could break her more than she had been before he had shown her that there was a chance for softness for something like her. She wouldn't be able to look in his pain and anger filled eyes, watch his believe that she could be something more drain out of his eyes. Watch it dawn on him that her love was never soft, that she could never be kind like him, that for her survival was brutal, live was cold, no matter how addicted she had gotten to his warmness, his softness, his love.
This was her final act of love, cleaning up these last of theirs. This person he cared about that had never wanted anything but stabbed him in the back. Not running, avoiding the confrontation with her. No the running was just for her. She couldn't watch the believe that there was something good in her drain out. Couldn't watch his disappointment and his pain over the death of this one.
Hi, I'm back after three weeks didn't you miss me?
The reason I didn't anticipate the last weeks was for the first two that my buns out recovery period ended I started school again, and also whumptober. Last week I just forgot got, because I kind of broke the routine but I will do my best to do this every week again.
This is so bad I also haven't edited it yet, I will I just kind am out of time and I try to get into writing once a week is hard.
