#more personal post

[seasaltdevotion]

Great news ✨✨✨

After continued chest pain, I took a trip to the emergency room because it was getting unbearable and I’m tired of not knowing what it is

Got checked in and x-rayed pretty quickly. Found out that I’m not having lung or heart issues like suspected!

I somehow inflamed my ribcage cartilage, but I’m there’s no illness or anything wrong internally, I’m not sick! Just gotta wait around 6 weeks for pain to subside with some medication to supplement rest of my left arm/shoulder/chest.

So grateful to Lord Apollon for my health and the healing that now comes now that I know how to treat it! Praying my thanks to all of the gods for easing my anxiety while I was waiting for my chest x-ray results. I’m truly blessed to be healthy and no sick like I usually am this time of year.

Going to do some offerings as thanks to Lord Apollo and to Lord Hypnos for helping me get some much needed rest after the pain I was in yesterday.

Have no idea how I strained my cartilage but… I’m gonna be better!

[aisling-saoirse]

One of my favorite things about my hometown was the fact I could see NYC (mostly just FiDi) on certain peaks...of course it looked a lot different from when I first saw it

Rockaway, NJ - October 20th 2024

[gxlden-angels]

I no longer have an identity.

As a Christian, I was taught my life wasn't my own. I'm just a vessel who should give my free will over to G-d to use me instead. Every time I did something good, it was because G-d was using me for his will. Every time something bad happened it was because I didn't let G-d use me as he wanted. I was given evidence that the Rapture was going to happen soon, so I claimed I'd have a long life (thinking/confessing I wouldn't would make me die young), but sorta subconsciously assumed I'd die before I became an adult due to the Apocalypse.

I never formed a solid identity for myself because I was just supposed to be a shell until I died. I wasn't supposed to make it long enough for it to matter. Sure I have likes and dislikes, but I can't process who I am. I can't recognize or describe myself. I don't really know who I am outside of Being A Christian and Helping Others.

I don't really have a solid gender identity or sexuality or goal of who I'll be. I don't know how I want or need to be perceived. I feel so reckless trying out all the things my church talked against like unnaturally colored hair, wearing clothes not for my assigned gender, piercings, and I want a tattoo. I've started mixing up clothes from both the men's and women's section. I like these individual things but I still don't feel like a complete human being.

I'm hoping as I continue I'll feel my solid and real, but being raised with this Christian idea of being "in the world not if the world" made it so I never bothered actually forming myself. Hopefully I find myself soon

[seasaltdevotion]

Honestly, not doing very well with my health right now, and I’m just trying to distract myself with the gods, and games and stuff since I’m on fall break.

Heading back to the doctor for the second time sometime this week to see if we can get an actual diagnosis on what’s going on with my lungs. Last time I was just given meds with no explanation or diagnosis, and I didn’t think to ask (the doctor was kind of rude.) Finished the meds, and I’m not really any better, even with taking breathing treatments ever few hours.

Praying that I feel better soon to Lord Apollon.

[wait-i-love-you]

let me know if there's anything you want to see from my blog here :) different affirmations, more posts, etc.. send an ask!

[ugghouly]

shoutout to the pipeline from senior prom from being dangerously depressed and anxious and not dancing once to my college’s “prom” where pretty girls (my friends) were grinding on me and I danced until I couldn’t breathe. I think about this very often. You will find a place where you belong no matter how long it takes.

[dragonsfaeandwilde]

I drew a picture of my childhood cat as the time variant of AngelCat. The variant looks almost exactly like him... it's just missing stripes.

My parents weren't the kindest in his passing so I'm still mildly haunted by his death... especially since I wasn't there for it. I was away at school and my parents only told me he was sick when it was too late to save him and too late to make it when he was gone. They told me he'd been "weird for months" while I was gone and just never told me until he'd stopped eating for over a week. I was pretty upset cuz I would've given anything to at least have been there.

When AngelCats come back around, I plan to get a Time one and freeze it at Hatch/ling. I haven't decided which but I want to have my baby in game becuz I miss him. I want to believe his made it to the fields of Tir Na Nøg and is waiting for me.

[areindeerlime]

OH MY GOD, I FINALLY UNDERSTAND

(This is a post more about me than anything funny or whatever, but i'd like to share and i'd appreciate if my moots read, plus I think some people might also have a revelation from this just like I did if you were the smart kid in younger grades then struggled in later grades)

MY WHOLE LIFE I'VE HAD TROUBLE WITH STUDYING, MEMORIZING CONCEPTS, FIGURING OUT WHAT MY LEARNING STYLE IS AND GENERALLY MORE ABSTRACT CONCEPTS, AND I FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHY.

The reason that I've always struggled with this stuff is because of my learning style which I just never fucking found out until now, I figured out that I work best when something is explained or conveyed using physical concepts.

When I was in lower grades I was constantly top of my class because I understood concepts easily, I realise now it's because in those grades concepts were explained with physical examples, like number of apples or amount of people performing an action.

In high-school I began to struggle because everything became more conceptual, and less physical, we began to work with ideas and thoughts instead of physical items and because of it I suffered...

Whilst vague concepts were hard to understand for me I easily latched onto more physical ideas... I wasn't struggling for no reason, it was because suddenly we had switched over to a style of learning that didn't work for me.

Not only that, my memory issues were almost exclusive to stuff I "Just had to remember" the reason I could never remember was because I was never given more concrete ideas or visuals to work with, it's why remembering things using little rhymes or phrases works for me, I'm not remembering the phrase, i'm remembering what the rhyme is saying and the image thereof.

It's why I enjoy instruments and skating, they're so hands on that I feel an understanding about them much more easily.

God, I feel so happy that I figured this out! :D