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just saw what happened, hope you're doing okay !! INSANE that you've still been able to get chapters out lmfao, ao3 author's curse in action??

i've yet to start omay because it's been a bit overwhelming/triggering, so i was curious what your favourite thing about it is or your favourite parts so far? i don't mind spoilers :)

The ao3 authors curse saw me consistently unload 10k word chapters every week for six months and said I think the fuck not XD It's definitely been an adjustment, I always lived my life in the fast lane and this was like seeing a road works sign but really there was just a massive hole in the road and I hit it at full speed. Not sure I classify getting one chapter out as a good effort, but I'm proud of myself for making the effort all the same. As much as this year has been... shall we say challenging.... I feel so lucky to have had so many of y'all who have stuck around every single time I've gone MIA and then bombarded whatever chapter or side story I come back with with comments and love. Like genuinely, you guys motivate me so much. I love hearing your thoughts or theories or a heart in the comments, or an anon rant that takes me several weeks to reply to (sorry about that team XD), and just the little community that's formed around this verse. A little sappy, but I really do want to thank you all for everything <33

Anyway, onto to the spoilery story stuff... (it got way longer than intended oopsies).

Absolutely fair enough that you're cautious, no story is ever worth your health!! In case it's useful to know, I'm careful to not include any numbers for anything (weight, food... anything outside of placings), and I make sure to have warnings for each chapter - particularly because I tend to write based on emotions experienced rather than the events themselves so it can get quite intense in places (depending on what I wanna make everyone feel that day XD) My favourite thing about the series is definitely the portrayal of support and platonic love!! Romantic relationships are very much secondary most of the time (I got sick of finding fics where person A was magically better because person B loved them enough XD). From about Chapter 5 on the whole central theme of the series is support, not just for those who are struggling, but also for the people supporting the people who are struggling (we explore caregiver burnout quite a bit). I really love that it's messy, and complicated, and they don't always get it right, but all of them are trying to do better for each other and some are learning to do better for themselves too. My second favourite thing is the theme of identity (that popped up about the time this whole thing accidently turned into Seb's verse and Max is just suffering in it). It's something that's often overlooked in athletes, but if you take away the sport, who are they? A lot of them have no idea and that's why there's a lot of mental health issues that emerge when an athlete retires. It's definitely a big focus for Seb and Daniel throughout the story (and will continue on in the sequels and prequel) but also Max trying to work out who he is beyond who he's been told he is. As to my favourite parts, they're kinda niche but also really key and often generated stories of their own, even if they went under recognised at the time. So here's a small list:

When Nico Rosberg looked at a burnout, anxious Charles and adopted him without consulting literally anyone else on this including their significant other (Of Me and You, Chapters 19, 22, 28 // Of Action and Consequence, Chapter 3)

Lando being so torn between the weight of his anxiety, his lack of understanding of what Max was experiencing, and knowing that something was incredibly wrong and no one was saying anything despite knowing more than him (Of Seeing and Speaking // OAAC, Chapter 4)

When Max was an embarrassingly sloppy drunk and then somehow more embarrassing hungover XD (OMAY, Chapters 13, 14)

Kimi being the coolest, calmest, most collected, king at any given opportunity (OMAY, Chapter 16, 23, 24, 25, 30) // Of Sebastian Vettel and Recover // Of String and Spirals // OAAC, Chapter 2 // Of Choice and Reason)

Kimi's entire friendship with Seb, but specifically when he says "I will never help you get high" ... "But you aren't making good choices tonight and you need to sleep. I promise, I would never give you something you can use—not for that. Not ever.” (OAAC, Chapter 2 - I think possibly my favourite thing I've written in the series, but also probably the most intense and difficult to read)

How Fernando just straight up walked out of his press obligations to look after Daniel in Suzuka, and picked up a very upset Charles along the way - and other times he's gone out of his way to check in on Daniel (OMAY, Chapters 26, 29 // Of Low Places and Dark Spaces)

When Max finally asks for help!!!!!! All on his own!!!!!! And he accepts it!!!!! (OMAY, Chapter 27)

When Daniel was sat in a McLaren meeting with Mark and Oscar and thought about how poetic it was that he replaced Mark and now Mark managed Oscar who was replacing him and mentally called it the Australian Circle of Life (OMAY, Chapter 29)

Christian (in this series) genuinely trying to do right by his drivers, both past and present (OMAY, Chapter 13, 23, 24, 27, 29) and especially when he tells Seb to slow down about Max and took the time to ask what was going on for him (OAAC, Chapter 1).

Anytime the support group chat interacts (that's Kimi, Fernando, Daniel, Valtteri, Lewis, both Nicos, Kevin and Jenson originally from the Seb days, Charles added later on and Mick added recently), specifically how every time something happens the immediate response is always 'where are you?' and 'are you safe?' which is also sad because it shows how high the stakes have been in the past when Seb was sick.

All the little relationships, both platonic and romantic, that just exist in the verse without needing to be explicitly addressed.

And this specific passage from OMAY, Chapter 22: 'The realisation of just how much he was loved, how many people were fighting for him, hit Max like a tidal wave. It was overwhelming, terrifying, and ached in his soul all at once. They loved him. They loved him. They loved him. They loved him.' Something inside Max shattered. The walls he'd built so carefully around himself crumbled, and suddenly he was sobbing. Great, heaving sobs that wracked his entire body. "I... I don't deserve it. After everything I've done, how I've treated them… They can’t love me. No one can love me. I don’t even think my dad- Without hesitation, Valtteri stepped forward. He helped Max out of the tub, wrapping him in a large, fluffy towel. Then, heedless of his own clothes getting soaked, he pulled Max into a tight embrace. "Love isn't about deserving, Max. It's given freely, without conditions. They love you because of who you are, not despite it."

Well. This got way longer than it was meant to and now I feel like an egotistical lil shit who enjoys my own writing probably a little more than I should XD Don't get me wrong, the verse is painful, and challenging, and confronting at times, but I think there is a lot gorgeous and utterly human moments in the wreckage. I guess at the heart of it all, it's a story about being seen at your worst and being loved anyway without any expectation of anything different. I think it's why that particular passage is so dear to me, its the first time I really laid it out for everyone to see. I do try and write each chapter as it's own little story, and once I'm done with OMAY I plan to make a summary of every chapter and side story and leave a link in the notes so people can always bail... I'm aware that I write some pretty intense feelings at times and I really respect readers who know and respect their limits and triggers. Anyway, I spent way too long on this so I hope y'all enjoy my rambling haha.

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