#motherforker

[bi-accident]

[midnightfrostdew]

TGP.

Is it just me or does everyone go from "fuck" to "fork" after watching The Good Place.

[goggels-09]

Wait one Forking minute!!!

Janet got an ass!!!

[freudensteins-monster]

Me: *plots out a story idea instead of just writing out it out in order*

Brain: *dusts off hands* Ahh, all done.

Me: What? No, we still have to write it.

Brain: Nope, it’s written. See? It even has an ending.

Me: Those are just dot points!

Brain: It’s already written! I am done with it!

Me:

[hvacreferguy]

Well....that’s Forked up!!! Repost from @albashirhussein #forkedup #forked #motherforker #whatthefork #forkhashtags #forkyou #forklift #dodge #truck #oops #safety #repost (at Hell, Norway) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-zo-O3ht8o/?igshid=yd3t5c55dk3z

[rohanrider3]

Just had a good friend post happily on FB about enjoying the sights somewhere with her SO. Some twerp instantly commented with “You can’t call and talk to me?” and she apologized and wished him a Happy Fourth. I complimented her on how they looked, wished them a fun night out, and then after her happy reply, offhandedly found a way to mention to the original pissed off replier that it looked like my friends were out on the town, not on their phones. I ended that little interaction with a SMILEY emoticon. Is there a DEATH GLARE/FALSE EYES SMILE emoticon I don’t know about? BECAUSE MY HEART HAS GREATLY DESIRED THIS.

[hurricane-eggbeater]

the other day i tried to find some television candy to distract myself from the fucking dumpster fire that is this country. the first episode of brooklyn nine nine that i watched mentioned an entitled and violent white guy named kavanaugh, and the new episode of the good place mentioned the hippocampus.

[doncollects]

View this post on Instagram

Tucker helping me clean up the forks and balloons. #youvebeenforked #postlaurenbirthday #motherforker