#moved countries

[tinseltownie]

me to quite literally every single person as we head into the final triple header of the 2025 Formula One World Championship because we are moving in silence until the checkered flag is waved and all the driver's are freaking weighed in Abu Dhabi okay no one make a sound no one make predictions everyone just shut up about lando

[wifeblade]

graduated

[pameluke]

I waited 20 minutes for my bus, the moment I get on a drunk man starts bothering me. I tell him repeatedly in a loud voice that I’m not in the mood for conversation because I’ve had a bad day, nobody reacts, eventually I just got off two steps later and walked the way home.

Why are people so ANNOYING

Mental health stuff under the cut

I’ve been really frustrated lately that despite doing everything right - I’m going to therapy, taking meds, doing pt - I’ve still had a really bad couple of weeks bad brains wise. My baseline is pretty much sadness at this point, woth random bouts of crying and a whole lot of lethargy and apathy.

And I’ve been coping and forcing myself to interact, and it’s more or less one coping mechanism after another (see influx of happy making shows to at least be focussed on something else instead of on what my brains are doing). Anyway I’ve been fighting so hard to not fall into the pit of despair, and I’m doing the things, and it’s not terribly yet but it’s officially Not Good.

So today I’m the car with my dad, crying while driving because that’s just how I’m feeling, and I’m explaining that I just can deal with the thing right now, because I’m having a really bad day, and his response is: “Jan, all your days have been bad lately, deal with it.”

And just, I don’t have the energy to deal with this, but I’m so frustrated that apparently I have to explain what depression is AGAIN, and he’s supposed to be my support system and my respons should have been “Dad, all my days are bad, deal with it”,  but I didn’t.

Fuck all of this, I’m so tired.