I am not big on grand gestures, as you know. there is no way I will let you win a competition as a birthday gift, even if I could bet anything your smile would make it less horrible. but that is not how we do things – you are good enough to beat me, but you will have to work harder. in all honesty, do not ruin your body for my sake (that is my job, as you well know). instead, I will send you this little project I have been working on for a while. you might recall the time I asked you to pose so I can take some pictures. yes, this is why I needed the pictures. I wrote this ‘poem’ down while I was working on the gift, I hope you will understand what it means (for meaning quite escapes me):
him – with ailes of gold, standing tall over a stadium of fleurs
him – sang running down his spine and arms
him – a river of colour that gives mon âme rhythm
him – innocence and douleur lost the longer he looks at
nous.
I hope you will enjoy it, and make sure to keep this on your desk. I have something to show you, so look forward to our date on your birthday. stay safe, petit idiot.
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*trans. dear sinner; wings; flowers; blood; my soul; pain; us; little idiot; happy birthday; jtmb – je t’aime beaucoup; your chaos.
With one long sleeve, folded over his hand, Saint wipes a stray tear of his cheek. A smile has turned up his lips and he scoffs softly at the letter and the poem. So stupid, and so Tim. Of course he had to make him cry on his birthday, so Tim. He reached for the sculpture to let his finger tips glide over it, feeling the small details as he looks at it, fondness and happiness bright in his eyes. It was the most beautiful thing in his apartment. The wings he never managed to manifest, gifted to him by Timothée again and again. Now he was forever reminded of it with this. He would definitely keep the sculpture on his desk and he’d cherish it like a treasure. Even though he might not say as much to the other figure skater he practically grew up with. “ผมรักคุณ…” He began in his native Thai tongue before switching over to French as his fingers once more traced the lines of the poem, his second treasure. Words he might never say to his face but even unsaid they were true. “…mon chaos.”
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*trans. i love you; my chaos.