Arthur Morgan - Heartbreak
Arthur Morgan - Heartbreak
[I think this has been done a fuckton of times, oh well. It's raining, its 3:07 am and I'm in a sour mood]
He feels like he shouldn't be surprised.
It had to have been coming for a while, they must have been contemplating it for atleast a month now.
They were just looking for the best time to let him down softly, bless their heart. But in the end, he's still caught offguard. And it makes him feel naïve, like a teenage boy reliving his first heartbreak all over again.
The fact that he had grown more and more hopeful that they really did love him, only to be stomped into the mud again, dreams and all.
Arthur becomes so fragile and distant after that. He always pours his entire heart into his relationships, jumps into them headfirst at the first chance he gets. He tries his hardest and opens up almost immediately. But as always, it isn't enough. He isn't enough.
Arthur withdraws and spends days away, doing everything in his power to keep away from the camp, away from the people who can read him like a book.
He hunts alone, eats alone and spends his time around camp alone, hanging around the horses, giving them more attention then they know what to do with. He doesn't talk to anyone for fear of being viewed as a nuisance. Lenny of all people notice his apprehension and backs off a bit. He wants to tell the boy it's not personal or nothing, he just needs some time to himself to claw back what little confidence he had before this. He doesn't.
When it's finally an appropriate time to retreat to his tent, to the little privacy he once shared with his beloved, he almost sprints for the opportunity to break down in secret, holding himself tight.
It's damn hard to act like the world isn't crushing him right now.
All he wants is their hands in his hair, their comforting voice to tell him that everything is alright. His ears are playing tricks on him and his eyes snap open wide whenever he hears something that barely reminds him of them. He has no idea what to do with himself in the silent nights, his arms awkward against his thighs, at his sides. He streaks his fingers down the parts of his cot where his love spent their time most, trails his hand through his chest hair softly, trying to mimic their soft touches. He rests his hand under his cheek and tries his best not to cry as he thinks about them, the faint twinge of sorrow in the voice as they tell him it's over. He wishes he said something, instead of letting them escape.
Eyes red in the morning and his neck sore from nuzzling his pillow, their scent scarce but there. Arthur keeps his eyes closed, hoping to feel the soft press of their lips against his temple, or the light caress of their hand down his jaw, as they scold him for sleeping in. And when it doesn't come and he can't feel their body against his, he gets up slowly and gets ready, ready for the life he's chosen.
He shouldn't be surprised that this may be how it'll end, him all alone, ugly as the crimes he commits. He shouldn't be surprised.
And yet he is. And Arthur hates it.
