Lu Yao chases away four blind dates set by his sister in the same restaurant. Chusheng is the owner of said restaurant and decides to rescue Lu Yao from his fifth one after witnessing all of them.
@sarah-yyy for your chuyao fix hopefully? XD
--
“Chusheng-ge,” says the waiter at the door, who comes forward to take his jacket.
It’s still early yet at Qing Ling Tian, a traditional Hu cuisine restaurant and bar set in one of the tallest skyscrapers in the city in the middle of downtown Shanghai. Chusheng walks in, and immediately is greeted with the bustle of a packed hall tonight as well.
Qing Ling Tian is not one of the best restaurants in Shanghai for no reason — with the grand decor that is the retro style inspired from Republican-era Shanghai fused with contemporary elements, and having hired some of the best chefs in the region, Chusheng is proud to say that they’ve had full-packed reservations for three years running now, be it usual dinners or even wedding banquets.
While patrons go about their meals on the first floor, immersed in the warmth and liveliness of it all, the second floor features a much more sedate vibe. There’s a main space where the bar counter is, and the private dining rooms can also be found on this floor. Customers who wish to have a more romantic and quiet dining experience are usually found here.
As he approaches the bar where Liu Zi, his star bartender, is working behind the counter tonight, Chusheng’s eyes fall on a familiar figure seated in the corner of the room, and he doesn’t know whether to feel exasperated or fond.
He settles for something between both, and Chusheng doesn’t even know the man.
“He’s here again?” Chusheng asks, sitting down at the counter and gesturing towards the tall, handsome man with his date, comfortably settled around a two-person table not too far away from the bar counter. “Who is it today?”
“Another young, rich heiress forced to meet him for a blind date,” Liu Zi rolls his eyes, placing a glass of whiskey on the table before Chusheng. “Your boy is trying his best in chasing her away this time too.”
“He’s not my boy,” Chusheng raises an eyebrow, taking a whiff of his whiskey. “I don’t even know who he is.”
Well, that’s not quite accurate. Chusheng knows of the man — Lu Yao, the youngest son in the well-known Lu family that has managed to produce powerful politicians and army commanders with every generation — because this isn’t the first time he has brought a blind date to this restaurant.
Lu Yao is a bit of an oddball, according to those who mill about in the higher echelons of society, so to speak. Despite being a rich young master, he ran away from home after he finished high school and managed to flee all the way to the UK and Cambridge for university, where he supported himself without taking a dime from his family until he graduated with no less than three degrees under his belt.
Lu Zifu, Lu Yao’s father, then forcibly dragged him back to Shanghai, whereupon he began finding matches for his youngest son.
It seems that with his two older brothers, Lu Sen and Lu Yan, so successful and working in the army and his older sister, Lu Miao, a high-ranking government official in the incumbent party, Lu Zifu doesn’t have much high hopes for his youngest son except to have him enter a beneficial matrimonial partnership with another woman. Of course, the old man isn’t quite as cruel to have his son marry someone he doesn’t like, and thus, why continuous blind dates are being strangely and repeatedly held at Chusheng’s restaurant.
In fact, this is the fifth one, if memory serves Chusheng correctly. It was pure coincidence, the first time Chusheng witnessed Lu Yao and his blind date of the evening at the same table, a few weeks ago.
It wasn’t anything to cry home about — matchmaking and blind dates are still incredibly common and Chusheng has heard his fair share of blind dates gone wrong happening in his restaurant. On two occasions even, the disastrous date even escalated into fights, so it’s not as if he’s a stranger to the farce of terrible blind dates.
Lu Yao, however, is unabashedly a piece of shit, a spoilt brat, a vainpot and a greedy little thing — and the man has no qualms flaunting any of these qualities.
He’s a smart piece of shit though, and while he’s shameless, every time Lu Yao does something ridiculous, Chusheng can’t help but want to indulge him.
—
First Date
“How about we get to know each other first, Lu-xiansheng?”
“Sure,” Lu Yao nodded, setting his drink aside. “Firstly, I don’t have a car, or any property to my name. I probably won’t get a huge cut out of my dad’s inheritance when he dies. I’m a poor academic, and my dad doesn’t think very highly of me. If you want to get some money out of this arrangement, you’re out of luck. I don’t intend to find a well-paying job either, because I’m happy pursuing an academic career. In fact, you will have to give me an allowance to support me-“
Chusheng watched then, a little flabbergasted at the sheer audacity of this young, able-bodied and obviously capable man, and with no shame at all, how he tried to badger his way into a marriage that would keep him in the most comfortable of conditions, without consideration for the lady at all!
Understandably, when Lu Yao entered his second spiel without allowing the woman to interject even in the slightest, she got to her feet and stomped out of there.
“Useless asshole!” she spat as a parting gift.
Once she was gone, Chusheng noted with some interest that Lu Yao’s haughtiness seemed to fade away as he deflated entirely into the seat, pressing his fingers to his temple and downing his entire drink in one shot.
His phone rang then, and Chusheng could hear a woman’s sharp voice berating the man on the other end of the line, no doubt to yell at him for fucking up the date so badly.
“Aiya, Da-jie, I didn’t do it on purpose! If she cannot accept me for who I am, it is not true love!” the man whined, obviously trying to play the fool.
Chusheng remembers turning away at that moment, trying to hide his smile in his drink.
—
Second Date
“I think we both know we’re here at the behest of our parents,” the blind date of the week said coolly. “How about we make do with each other to get our parents off our backs? You can continue living your life and I continue living mine.”
Lu Yao nodded, “Sounds good to me.”
“Well, the only condition my parents have is the dowry. Given your family’s status and wealth, I think this,” and the woman holds up three fingers. “Shouldn’t be an issue.”
“Thirty thousand?” asked Lu Yao.
The woman’s face whitened almost immediately, but she continued, “You must be joking. The Xiao family is also considered one of the wealthiest families in the city. My parents will accept no less than three hundred thousand for my marriage into the Lu family.”
Lu Yao pretended to consider this, before he replied, “Think about this! You’re the CEO of the Xiao family’s banking empire, and in comparison, I’m just a student who’s looking to complete his PhD. I have nothing to my name, not even a single property! Don’t you think you should be paying my dad the dowry instead? I feel more like the one who's marrying out of my own family and into yours.”
Chusheng watched as Lu Yao got a cup of iced water to his face then.
The woman was as vicious as the first one when she said, “Shameless!”
—
Third Date
“So I hear that you want a dowry and an allowance,” Blind Date Number Three said, flopping into the seat opposite Lu Yao’s an hour late.
“Of course,” Lu Yao said matter-of-factly. “I’ve never had to serve someone else. I’m the youngest in the family, if I’m not doted on then who should you dote on?”
Chusheng could tell that Lu Yao was feeling rather pleased about this meeting because from what the woman said, it seemed he was gaining a reputation for himself, one that would hopefully ensure women stayed far, far away from him.
“You’re honestly starting to get a reputation,” the woman said as much, but she didn’t seem all too put out by Lu Yao’s demeanour. “If that’s what you wanted, congratulations. What’s good to eat here, I’m hungry.”
Lu Yao blinked, his interest piqued slightly.
“Well, I’m fond of the Ba Bao La Jiang, but… I’m not-“ he began, and the woman cut him off, “Yeah, yeah, you won’t pay. Geez, my treat, since I’m late. I was dragged here by my older brother while I was at an e-sports gaming competition, and I just want to eat.”
They didn’t talk much after that, busy stuffing their faces with food. It was then that Chusheng found himself staring at Lu Yao’s blissful face as he almost cleaned out half the plate and three bowls of rice on his own.
—
Fourth Date
It was Lu Yao’s turn to be late for this one, and Chusheng noted that he was in a bad mood today, for he wasn’t even turning on the i-am-so-innocent look with his blind date.
The moment he sat down, Lu Yao began, “Yes I want a dowry and a comfortable allowance. I’m kind of useless and entirely shameless, but I still want both of those things. If I want a baguette in the middle of the night, you have to get it for me. If I see an expensive Armani suit in the windows while I’m walking on the streets and want it, you should get it for me. If I’m hungry and want to have dumplings bright early in the morning before I wake up, I want you to get it for me. If I see something that scares me, you have to protect me.”
“And lastly, if I want you to give me your wallet, you should just give it to me,” Lu Yao finished, leaning into the back of his seat. “If you can do all of that, I’ll go to the Marriage Registration Office today with our hukou ben.”
The woman didn’t seem surprised at his outburst, and with a sigh, she commented, “I’m only here out of a favour for Lu Miao, we work together. I’ve obviously heard of your penchant for being incredibly demanding, and wanted to see it for myself. Doing this though… don’t you think you’re bringing shame to the Lu family?”
“Every single one of your siblings is successful in their own right, I don’t know how they ended up with you,” she said. “At the very least, you should be mindful of keeping the reputation and honour your family has painstakingly built over the years intact.”
“I’ll settle the bill for this one.”
That evening, Lu Yao got so drunk that Chusheng took it upon himself to send him home, not that the man remembers it.
—
And so here they are, two weeks after that sad blind date that probably hit a little too close to home for Lu Yao, on his fifth date.
This time, however, it seems that this woman isn’t as easy to dismiss as any of the previous ones. Chusheng suspects that there’s something wrong with her, to be honest.
“Lu Yao,” the woman says seriously, “I’ve been in love with you since I saw you at a family’s gathering when I was eight. I’ll treat you well, I promise! I’ve heard of all the conditions that you want, and I can fulfil all of them.”
Well, that is something none of them are expecting, least of all Lu Yao. Looking slightly stunned, Lu Yao sits up in his seat, and goes, “Everything? You’ll give me your wallet? How much dowry?”
“All of it! It’s not like I can’t afford it,” she nods enthusiastically. “I’ll do anything for you, Yao-gege.”
Lu Yao almost flinches when the woman reaches over, her hand tightly gripping his.
“Don’t you remember? It was dinner at the Feng mansion, you surely remember Feng-bo, right? I fell down the stairs when one of the other kids shoved me to the side while he was running, and you were the one who came over and helped me find my mother. You protected me, Yao-gege. I’ve always remembered that, and then when I heard you were looking for a match-“
“-I’m not, my sister and my father are looking for a match for me-“
“-I knew I couldn’t let this pass up. It’s okay if you don’t love me right now, you’ll see how much I am willing to do for you, and given time, I’m sure you’ll start to love me.”
Oh dear, Chusheng thinks as he sets his glass down.
—
“I can’t,” Lu Yao blurts out, snatching his hand back, properly spooked. “I’m… Chen Xue, you’re… I cannot marry you.”
“Why not? You said that as long as someone agrees to all your demands, you’ll marry them immediately! Is it because I’m not good enough?”
“I- I’m… No, of course not, you’re great, Chen Xue. I’m just… I cannot-“
What a time for his wilfulness to come back and bite him in the fucking ass, Lu Yao thinks, about to panic for real.
“If I’m great, then there should be no issue,” Chen Xue concludes, reaching over to grab Lu Yao’s hand again. “Yao-gege, let’s go now. We can get married today, and deal with the huge wedding and banquets later.”
He’s done for, Lu Yao knows that, and damn Lu Miao for finding him an obsessive match!
Just as he’s desperately thinking of something to say, a shadow falls over them both, and Lu Yao finds himself with another hand over his wrist.
Looking up, his throat goes entirely dry.
“He can’t marry you,” the tall, dark and handsome man says. “Because he’s going to marry me instead.”
Then smiling almost roguishly at him, the man continues, “Isn’t that right, baobei?”
Lu Yao feels shivers running down his skin at the sound of that, and despite himself, his breath catches in his throat when he tries to speak.
He remembers this man, sitting at the counter quietly every single time Lu Yao is here, nursing a glass of whiskey. And just two weeks ago, Lu Yao remembers someone buckling his seatbelt for him in the car, remembers the scent of a specific aftershave as the man leaned in close, and his voice when he told the driver to send Lu Yao home.
“Who the hell are you?!” Chen Xue asks, her eyes going wide. “What nonsense are you saying-“
“Yes,” Lu Yao interrupts, getting to his feet and plastering himself to the man’s side. “Yes, that’s right. I can’t marry you because I’m going to marry him instead. I’m sorry, Chen Xue.”
Chen Xue is silent for a whole minute, looking entirely betrayed. It’s a look that Lu Yao is familiar with, and so he prepares himself for the glass of water or wine that’s going to be splashed in his face in anger, but the moment Chen Xue reaches for the wine glass, the man next to him pulls Lu Yao behind him.
“Chen-xiaojie, wasn’t it? Qing Ling Tian welcomes any and all paying customers, including yourself, but I will not allow you to cause a scene here,” he says. “Please put that down.”
Shaking angrily, Chen Xue scowls, “I want to see your manager! Who the hell are you to talk to me like that, do you know who I am?”
Lu Yao’s hand unconsciously reaches for the man’s jacket sleeve, tugging in fear of the trouble this woman obviously is. While he’s grateful that the man has given him a way out, Chen Xue is indeed the daughter of one of the ministers sitting in the cabinet right now, and even Lu Zifu has to play nice with the old man. Lu Yao doesn’t want to get this nice man into real trouble either.
He opens his mouth to appease Chen Xue somehow, but the man beats him to it.
“Of course I do,” he says, cocking his head to the side. “Chen Xue, Chen Fu Man, Minister Chen’s only daughter. Lao ye-zi has a standing monthly appointment with Chen-shu for mahjong if I recall correctly. As for speaking to the manager, I’ll do you one better. I’m the owner of Qing Ling Tian. Is there something I can help you with?”
At this, both Chen Xue and Lu Yao stare at him, eyes wide and mouths open.
“You’re… you’re…” Chen Xue swallows, and finally putting the wine glass down. “You’re Qiao… Chusheng? Bai-shushu’s…”
“Indeed,” Chusheng nods. “If there’s nothing else, Chen-xiaojie, I’d like to have a nice dinner with my fiancé. Let me have Ah Dou escort you out. Ah Dou!”
“Chusheng-ge,” another man comes over from where he was standing at the entrance of the room.
“Escort Chen-xiaojie out and get Xiao Yun to send her home,” Chusheng orders.
So stunned at the turn of events and what he’s just found out, that Lu Yao doesn’t even move or blink after Chen Xue is forcibly guided out of the room for a good few moments.
It’s only when he hears a breathy chuckle close to his ear that Lu Yao realizes where his fingers are, still pinching Chusheng’s jacket sleeve. As if burnt, Lu Yao steps away, absolutely mortified. Chusheng, Qiao Chusheng, just saw him make an absolute fool of himself.
“I- I…”
“Sit down before you keel over,” Chusheng says, guiding him back into his seat and then to the waiter standing near them, “Da Ding, clear this table and have a fresh course brought up. The Fo Tiao Qiang soup that Lu-xiansheng likes to eat as well, and some of Man-jie’s best dumplings.”
Lu Yao looks up in surprise. He’s speechless still, until Chusheng pushes a glass of warm water over to him.
“Thank you, for helping me out earlier,” he mumbles, embarrassed. “I… I must have caused a scene.”
“No worries,” Chusheng smiles, and damn if Lu Yao’s heart doesn’t skip a beat at that. “Glad that I could help. Lu Yao, is that correct?”
“Mnn,” Lu Yao nods, taking a sip of the water nervously.
“Will you consider going out with me?” Chusheng asks sudddenly.
Lu Yao chokes on his water.
It’s Chusheng who pats him on the back, who presses a napkin to his mouth and looks at him a little fondly while he’s having a coughing fit. When Lu Yao surfaces again, he croaks, “What?”
“I won’t make you go to the Marriage Registration Office with me immediately of course,” Chusheng continues as if this conversation is normal. “We should probably date first, and then if we still like each other after a few, we could set up a meeting between our families and see how it goes. I’m certain your sister would like to take a look at me first, and the same goes for my sister. She’d like to meet you first after.”
“Wait, wait,” Lu Yao tries to breathe. “Hold on a second. You’re saying, like date me?”
“Mnn. Do you think I jest? I’m all for showing my sincerity,” Chusheng smirks almost. “I have a few cars and properties, and I can put your name on any of the ones you like next time, so you don’t have to buy your own. I earn enough, so you can happily pursue your doctorate if that’s what you want. If you don’t, there are a number of open finance-related positions in my company for you to do what you do best.”
“How did you know I have a finance degree?!”
Chusheng raises an eyebrow pointedly and goes, “Blind Date Number Three asked you what your hobbies were and you said ‘making money’ because ‘that’s what I got my degree for’.”
Lu Yao flushes red immediately.
“If you’re marrying me,” Chusheng continues, “Of course the Bai family will give you a dowry and an allowance, just take any of my cards, that should be enough.”
“Who said… who said I was marrying you?!” Lu Yao splutters. “And you’ve been listening in on my dates!”
“It’s a little hard not to listen in when you’re going on so righteously about how you want someone to give you all their assets and pamper you to death,” Chusheng rolls his eyes a little.
“And that night, it was you?”
“Which night?” he teases, and then taking pity on a Lu Yao whose face is entirely red now, he nods, “You were very drunk that night and thought that you called for a ride. You showed your Didi Chuxing app to me yourself with your address on it, I didn’t steal information from you.”
Finally, finally, after so many blind dates, Lu Yao is quiet.
Wondering if he’s scared Lu Yao off for real, Chusheng opens his mouth, ready to try a softer approach and apologize when Lu Yao asks, “… so if I really want a baguette in the middle of the night you’ll get it for me?”
“… I hope we’ll already have a baguette in the house for you seeing how much you like them,” Chusheng answers carefully, “But yes.”
“And if I want dumplings in the morning for breakfast?”
“I’ll call Ah Dou and have it brought in from the restaurant.”
“I don’t like Armani suits, but if I wanted something expensive…”
Chusheng takes out his wallet, and slides three credit cards over the table.
With wide eyes, Lu Yao asks again, “And if I asked you to give me your wallet-“
The wallet lands on the table in between them.
“As for the last one,” Chusheng smiles and leans forward, “I think I demonstrated earlier that I’m more than capable of protecting you whenever you’re scared. Don’t you think? So do I pass?”
The food comes then, interrupting their conversation. Chusheng doesn’t press either, instead scooping out a bowl of soup for Lu Yao and insisting that he eats, knowing that he couldn’t stomach any of his meal earlier with Chen Xue.
At the end of the meal, Lu Yao finally says, “… I want to go to the movies next week.”
“Mnn,” Chusuheng makes a noise of assent. “I’ll buy you dinner before that.”
“I’ll buy the movie tickets and popcorn,” Lu Yao adds, almost a little shyly.
When they leave the restaurant later, Chusheng is holding onto Lu Yao’s hand as he leads him out.
The warmth he feels from that touch alone makes everything right suddenly, and not even his phone continually vibrating in his pocket from his sister’s calls can dampen his mood.
===
*Qing Ling Tian 青玲天 - I guess it's a way for Chusheng to pay homage to the Green Dragon gang 青龙帮 not that he's in a gang right now (he's totally a legitimate businessman)
*Shanghai's cuisine is called Shanghai Cai (shanghai dishes literally), but also can be called Hu Cai (hu cuisine)
*Didi Chuxing - This is China's version of Uber/Lyft/Grab
*hukou ben - In brief, all Chinese citizens need to belong to a family register and have a 'hukou', it's almost like a proof of citizenship I think. Anyway, you need these 'hukou' booklets (like a birth cert) to get married, you bring the booklets down to the office, and take a photo against a red wall, and they print the photos and paste them in the booklets.
"You... I say, you aren't allowed to dine and dash!"
Qiao Chusheng cracked open one eye and looked at Lu Yao, wondering what the hell this rascal was on about now.
"How can I dash when I haven't dined nearly enough?" Qiao Chusheng gently ran his hand down Lu Yao's warm back.
If anything, it seemed to annoy Lu Yao more who scrambled to sit up and wrap the bedsheets around him. He then proceeded to point rudely at Qiao Chusheng.
"Don't you dare think that by sending me away, you can escape your evil deeds! The Lu Family won't be bullied!"
Escape his evil deeds? When did he bully the Lu Family?
Undeterred, Lu Yao continued to sprout, “I warn you, Qiao Chusheng, the Lu Family won’t suffer this humiliation! You have some nerve asking me to leave. Do you think I won’t protest this injustice! Qiao Siye, I won’t let you push and pull others* as you please!”
Qiao Chusheng could ignore Lu Yao’s ludicrous spiel until it reached levels of unbearable. Then, he swiftly grabbed Lu Yao by the neck, who let out a tiny meep at the sudden action before blinking pitifully at him. Qiao Chusheng gave him an inscrutable look.
Acting pitiful with me, whatever happened to that irascible temper from before?
Since Qiao Chusheng had already committed evil deeds, adding one more to the list wouldn’t affect his damnation. And with that thought, he quickly flipped Lu Yao back on the bed before pinning him down for the night.
--xx--
“What are you planning?”
Qiao Chusheng glanced up at the mirror above the sink that reflected Lu Yao watching him, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Qiao Chusheng turned on the water tap, rinsing off the soapy blade. He preferred his knife blade to razors when it came to shaving; it gave a smoother, cleaner feel.
The one time he tried getting affectionate with Lu Yao while wearing a day-old stubble.
Not only had the experience raised Lu Yao’s metaphorical hackles like that of a hell-cat, but Qiao Chusheng nearly had his face swiped at with claws. It was little wonder that he felt like sometimes, he didn’t have a boyfriend as much as a cat.
Tugging on a towel to wipe his face clean, he asked Lu Yao’s reflection, “What am I planning? Isn’t that your forte?”
Lu Yao harrumphed as he followed Qiao Chusheng out of the bathroom. “Don’t you start that nonsense! You don’t get to be a triad leader at your age without strategy or planning ahead.”
Qiao Chusheng looped the towel around Lu Yao’s waist, then tugged him closer, remarking off-handedly, “It’s less strategy or more simply, a case of…” Qiao Chusheng deliberated before flashing Lu Yao a slow smirk. “Might is right.”
The next instant, Lu Yao was flat on his back staring up at the ceiling, before a playfully grinning face appeared above him. Lu Yao scowled fiercely at Qiao Chusheng who only let out a delighted laugh.
He reached up to trace the crinkles at the corners of Qiao Chusheng's eyes, ones that never failed to appear each time the gangster so much so looked at him.
Lu Yao loved them.
--x--
It took Lu Yao a while to remember that Qiao Chusheng was possibly being truthful when he referred to “Might is right.”
He recalled the chilling way, Qiao Chusheng single-handedly took down dozens of armed goons guarding the cargo ship; the unflinching violence and cruelty with which he snapped necks and smashed knees; the anger burning bright in him even from a distance. Whether now or back then, the scenes gave Lu Yao goosebumps.
But Lu Yao thought back to how the violence seemed to leave the man entirely when he came across a pair of frightened children; how he crouched down and pulled off his jacket to wrap around the shivering cold kids, strong hands that had viciously twisted a neck minutes ago were now placed gently on the children’s heads, a low inaudible murmuring that was soothing to even Lu Yao’s ears.
How puzzling, Lu Yao had thought, what a strange contradiction. An involuntary noise had escaped his gagged mouth and Qiao Chusheng turned sharply, a frown on his face. He walked over to pull off the filthy rag between Lu Yao’s lips.
The yellowish light from the ceiling bulb cast a glow over Qiao Chusheng’s face and Lu Yao barely registered the feeling of loss when he looked up at warm cinnamon-honey eyes staring back at him.
--x--
Two days after the meeting between Lu Miao and Qiao Chusheng, a Rolls Royce pulled up outside Shanghai’s most elite hotel.
A guest named Lu Yao had quietly moved into the hotel room adjoining his father’s, much to the partial surprise of an otherwise pleased Lu Miao and a frail but delighted Lu Zifu.
--------
Rudely push and pull others* - A translation of 推来推去 (tuī lái tuī qù) meaning to shirk responsibility and push the blame onto others (because no amount of Google-fu would give me a saying/ proverb similar to “Qiao Chusheng, you can’t sleep with me, then pretend it had nothing to do with you!”)
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 民国奇探 | My Roommate is a Detective (TV)
Relationships: Lu Yao/Qiao Chusheng
Characters: Lu Yao, Qiao Chusheng, Bai Youning
Sunlight streamed through the open windows and bounced off the wine bottle’s glass, catching his eye.
It was there because Lu Yao was not, and he wasn’t there because Chusheng had scared him away, and didn’t know how to fix it. He didn’t know if he could.
(In which Lu Yao is misunderstood, Youning wins a bet and Chusheng is definitely, absolutely not pining.)
Lu Yao gets jealous, is mad that he’s jealous and decides to step back a little, hoping Chusheng doesn’t notice.
Of course Chusheng notices.
---
He doesn’t know how it all began, this… itch in his chest, the tremble in his hands and the tight vise that curls around his stomach, squeezing so tight he thinks he might throw up.
It’s not like Chusheng is doing anything different than usual in all the months Lu Yao has known him. Lu Yao knows what kind of person Chusheng is — he’s righteous, loyal, exceedingly competent and has a tiny bit of a temper that’s reserved for uncooperative and criminals and also Lu Yao when he starts eating on the job. He’s also very handsome, if not as handsome as he is, and he likes his whiskey, his job and lastly-
Qiao Chusheng likes women. A lot of them. Pretty, nice ones at the nightclub or brothels who call him Qiao Si-ye and Chusheng-ge, a woman hanging off his arms when he goes out for fun in the night. Even the waitresses at the expensive restaurants that Chusheng brings him to end up flirting with the man right there at the table, or at the cashier when Chusheng is paying the bill, asking him if he would like to go out for a meal or bring them home. Sometimes he agrees. A lot of the times, he agrees.
Lu Yao first blamed this uncomfortable feeling on competitiveness — after all, all the women they’ve met so far have chosen to look at Chusheng and talk to him over Lu Yao, and a man has to have some pride, right?
Then as the weeks go by, as he gets to know Chusheng better, as he comes to rely on Chusheng and trust the man to have his back — after the incident with Zhiqing-ge, after Lu Yao is shot, after seeing Chusheng’s back so many times as the man puts himself in front of him, between danger and Lu Yao to protect him— he feels even worse.
When he sees Chusheng blow off his home cooked dinners sometimes, only to bump into him at the nightclub, or when he brings some woman to a restaurant he brought Lu Yao to only days before, or when Lu Yao walks into the station early in the morning only to see that dazed, happy look on Chusheng’s face, and no one looks that happy in the morning unless they had a really good night (and morning) in bed.
In the beginning, it was fun to wreck Chusheng’s dates by disturbing him with a case, or damage his expensive motorbike, and tease him about all the women he knows in the great city of Shanghai.
A few months in and the familiar scene now grates on Lu Yao’s nerves.
Lu Yao is broken out of his trance when Youning nudges him hard at the side with her elbow, and he turns, about to glare at her when she asks, “You’ve been glaring at Chusheng-ge for the past ten minutes. What’s wrong with you? Did you guys quarrel?”
“What-“
Taken aback, Lu Yao looks at Youning with incredullity and replies, “I wasn’t!”
She picks up a piece of tofu and eats it, and with a raised eyebrow, she gestures towards where Chusheng is currently still chatting up an old friend who passed by their table earlier a distance away.
A lady friend. A very beautiful lady friend.
“If looks could kill, Chusheng-ge would have died a thousand times already in these ten minutes alone,” Youning thinks of something suddenly, moving forward and squinting her eyes at Lu Yao, “San Tu… unless… are you jealous?”
His body flushes hot immediately in embarrassment.
“Jealous? What do you mean by that?” he scoffs, rolling his eyes and making a show out of leaning into his chair with his arms crossed, “How could I be jealous? Well, maybe, of Lao Qiao, because he’s got so many beautiful women for friends and hasn’t introduced me to a single one.”
Youning shakes her head, considering Lu Yao before concluding, “Lu Yao, you look like a jilted lover. Chusheng-ge’s jilted lover, jealous of his new lover.”
“I’m not!” Lu Yao stresses, trying to explain himself, “How could I be jealous of the woman-“
“Then why haven’t you looked at the woman even once? Don’t look at her, what colour is the dress she’s wearing?” Youning holds onto his chin as he attempts to turn his head in the direction of where Chusheng and the other lady are. “Your memory and IQ are impeccable. You would know what kind of earrings she’s wearing even if you weren’t looking closely. What colour is it?”
When Lu Yao splutters in response, but is unable to answer just as she expected. Youning lets go of him, satisfied and with a predatory grin on her face.
“Ah~ So our San Tu likes Chusheng-ge-“
Angered and confused at this new revelation, Lu Yao jumps to his feet, pointing at Youning.
“You- you- Bai Youning, don’t go around spouting nonsense,” he glares, flustered for no reason, “If you say anything like this again I’m-”
“What? You’re going to chase me out of the apartment? I don’t think so! Not unless you can afford the next month’s pay on your own upfront,” Youning bats her eyelashes at him.
This infuriating woman-
He’s already lost the battle, and who knows what else Youning will say if he stays here? Glaring at her one more time, Lu Yao picks up his coat and hightails it out of the restaurant without looking at anyone else.
It takes only a few seconds for Chusheng to come back to the table. His brows furrowed as he frowns at Lu Yao’s retreating back, Chusheng asks, “Is he okay? What happened? Did you make him angry again? Look at this, he didn’t even eat the fish he came here for.”
Youning looks at him innocently, “I didn’t do anything. It wasn’t my fault.”
Chusheng shakes his head at her, “Hmm, well then get them to pack the fish up later, you can bring it home for his supper.”
Youning sighs to herself, lamenting how oblivious both men are.
===
Lu Yao doesn’t sleep that night, Youning’s words stuck in his mind.
It’s a bucket of cold water over his head, the realization that she’s right. Lu Yao groans into his pillow and kicks at his covers.
How could he? Of all people, how could he have fallen for womanizer, player and straight Qiao Chusheng?
The next morning, Lu Yao makes up his mind after thinking on it. He looks terrible and even Youning does a double take at the dark-eye circles he has, but he’s feeling slightly better after deciding to nip this… this… infatuation in the bud. There is no way anything will come out of his crush on Lao Qiao, not to mention Lu Yao might lose someone he treasures as a friend.
His heart squeezes tight at the thought, but Lu Yao ignores it.
The solution is simple. According to rational thought and logic, as long as he spends lesser time with Chusheng, stops being in the same space as him outside of a case, stops seeing him with other women, Lu Yao can just… stop having feelings.
It’s not like the man will notice, Lu Yao thinks, biting at his lips. Lao Qiao would probably be glad that he’s not playing gooseberry or interrupting potential dates anymore.
The thought of Chusheng being happy to be rid of him makes his fists clench.
He has to be contented with being Qiao Chusheng’s good xiong-di, and knowing that Lao Qiao, at the very least, wouldn’t leave him in dangerous situations if he could help it. Ignoring the pain stabbing at him, Lu Yao heads to the station to finish up the case they are now on.
And hurt it does, when Lu Yao begs off a dinner treat with the Bai siblings once, twice, and more. It hurts when he turns down Chusheng’s offer to drive him to lunch or send him home after a case, and when Chusheng comes over for a meal, Lu Yao makes some excuses about having to see a friend or run an errand, fleeing from the house. When he has a new evidence or clues on the next case in the middle of the night, he sends Youning or Ah Dou to inform Chusheng rather than make the trip himself, lest he sees things that he doesn’t want to see.
Youning is disapproving and seems to know exactly what he’s doing, so Lu Yao begins to avoid her too.
“What’s wrong with you recently?” asks Chusheng once in the car, on their way to their latest crime scene. “You seem a little busy. I haven’t seen you around much.”
Lu Yao clears this throat awkwardly, “I… R… Really? We spend so much time together on cases, like right now.”
Chusheng shoots him a pointed look, but Lu Yao resolutely does not look back at him.
“San Tu, if… if you’re angry at me, I might have said or done something-“
Lu Yao exhales softly. Whatever it was, he didn’t expect Chusheng to think that this whole thing was his fault. That’s not the point of this exercise at all. Feeling guilty suddenly, Lu Yao finds himself reassuring his… friend.
“You didn’t,” Lu Yao says firmly, looking outside of the window. “We’re good, Lao Qiao, don’t worry so much.”
“Hmm… San Tu, if you’ve got anything you want to say, you know you can always come to me, right? If anyone is bullying you, if Youning is being ridiculous… I have your back, you know that right?”
Chusheng says it so earnestly and Lu Yao has no trouble believing him. Feelings aside, he knows Lao Qiao wouldn’t abandon him when he needs him most.
It doesn’t change the fact that Chusheng doesn’t think of him the way Lu Yao wants him to. It doesn’t change the fact that if Chusheng really finds out what is bothering Lu Yao, he would probably leave him, or draw a line between them both.
Lu Yao would rather work at trying to erase his feelings for the man than let him know the truth.
“When is Youning not being ridiculous?” snorts Lu Yao, skirting around the topic.
He hears Chusheng sigh from next to him, but luckily for them, their destination is swiftly approaching, and all personal talk is set aside for the moment.
This whole avoiding thing lasts for three weeks, and Lu Yao might have gotten away with it for a little longer if this didn’t happen.
===
Bursting into the hospital ward panicked, Lu Yao can barely breathe until his eyes fall on the patient seated in bed.
“You-“ he swallows, trying to catch his breath back from running up the stairs, “You’re not-“
Chusheng looks at him sheepishly, and that’s when Lu Yao knows he’s been deceived. Turning around on his heels to go because this was a fucking low blow, Lu Yao nearly slams his face against the door which closes behind him.
“Bai Youning, you!” Lu Yao yells, trying the knob only to find it locked.
“Talk to him!” comes the muffled voice from the other side of the door.
When Youning first told him that Chusheng was hurt in a shootout on his latest case, Lu Yao dropped everything at home to come to the hospital with Youning without even thinking about it. To be fair, Youning was very convincing with all her tears and sniffles.
“Why are you even a reporter? You should just go and become an actress instead!” Lu Yao yells back, but all he hears are fading giggles. “I trusted you!”
“San Tu.”
Chusheng’s voice stops him in his tracks, and Lu Yao finds it difficult to breathe again for a totally different reason. He has been doing so well, so why would they do this to him?
“Good on the both of you,” he says nonetheless, turning around and letting the anger of being duped hide his anxiety of being in the same room as Chusheng now. “Did you guys think it was funny? And to think I thought of the both of you as friends, but you’re lying to me now?”
“If I didn’t do this, who knows how long more you would have tried to avoid me,” Chusheng sighs, “Besides, it’s not really a lie. I was shot at, it’s just not a severe enough injury to have me stay overnight.”
Lu Yao sees the stark white bandages around his torso and his traitorous heart squeezes in worry.
“San Tu, what’s going on? You haven’t been yourself these few weeks, it’s starting to worry me,” Chusheng continues, “We haven’t spent any time together in the last three weeks, so you’re definitely avoiding me.”
“I have my own life to lead outside of the station too,” Lu Yao lies through his teeth. “Who said I had to spend time with you? You live your life, I live mine, that’s how it works.”
Chusheng nods, stepping closer to Lu Yao as they speak and there is nowhere for him to run.
“That’s true, but considering how panicked you were when you came here earlier, well, I thought of a few possibilities for the way you’re behaving.”
He’s coming closer with every step, and Lu Yao says, “Stop right there. Don’t come any closer-“
Chusheng ignores him and continues, “So I thought your sister or maybe your two older brothers this time have hatched some elaborate plan to get you to go back home, but Lu Miao says she and her brothers have better things to do then try to get you home now that your father has approved of your staying here.”
“You’re- wait, you contacted my dajie?”
“And then I thought perhaps someone was blackmailing you,” Chusheng smiles, and Lu Yao feels rooted to the spot at the sight of that challenging, ‘you’re in trouble’ smile, “But Ah Dou, Salim and Youning say that you haven’t been meeting anyone out of the ordinary, or received any strange letters recently.”
At that, Lu Yao responds, “If someone was blackmailing me, I would have found out who it was within a day, or two.”
“That crossed my mind as well, I just wanted to be sure,” Chusheng agrees.
Lu Yao jumps when the man slams both hands agains the door he’s leaning on, bracketing Lu Yao in with his arms and body. It’s ridiculous that Chusheng can make him feel this trapped despite being shorter than him, and he turns to the side because his heart is pounding in his ears at the proximity.
“What are you doing-“
“So Youning told me something interesting this morning,” Chusheng mumurs, his voice low and Lu Yao can’t help the involuntary shiver at the sound of his voice this close, the first time in three weeks, “And she told me you’re jealous. Of the women hanging around me.”
It feels as if all the breath has left him, dread filling him, because of course Youning told Chusheng.
Closing his eyes, Lu Yao steels himself for the rejection, for the apologetic eyes, or even worse, for the laughter, asking him if this is a joke.
He hears a soft sigh instead, “San Tu, sometimes you’re a bit stupid.”
“What-“
He’s silenced when lips press over his. It’s a chaste kiss at first, but the moment Lu Yao relaxes and turns back to Chusheng, the inspector deepens the kiss, both hands coming up to bring Lu Yao closer to him.
When they finally move apart, Chusheng speaks first, “You should have just told me. I thought you weren’t interested.”
Flabbergasted, Lu Yao protests, “You never showed any hint that you would be interested either!”
“San Tu, you’re the only one who dares to talk to me the way you do. I pay for most of your meals and bring you out to any restaurant you say you’re interested in. I break some of the rules at the station if you so much as look at something expensive at a crime scene twice. I bring you coffee and tea when you order me to. Do you think I let anyone else do this with me?”
When everything finally sinks in, Lu Yao feels like hitting himself.
“Well,” he replies, cheeks heating up, “What about Mei Lan, Zi Yan, Cui Er, Ma Li and-“
“I won’t see anyone else other than you,” Chusheng promises. “And if you hate it so much, I will hang out less with my friends, male or female.”
Of course Lu Yao wouldn’t ask him to do that.
“San Tu, were you just going to leave me without any sort of explanation? Next time, just talk to me,” and when Lu Yao looks at Chusheng again, it’s to find the man’s sincere eyes looking back at him, “You’re my priority.”
Mortified and embarrassed, Lu Yao presses his face against Chusheng’s shoulder, trying to hide from the man, but the hug is nice too. Chusheng’s arms encircle him and squeeze him tight, as if he might never let him go.
It’s really, really nice, and Lu Yao thinks he might die without a hug each day from Chusheng from now on.
“I’ll make you dinner tonight,” he says, “And I want to have that fish from Bai Le Lou tomorrow.”
“Okay,” Chusheng laughs in his ear.
They hear soft giggles then, and confused, both men turn towards the door, and that’s when they see the door slightly ajar and Youning, Ah Dou and Salim peeking in with grins on their faces. Horrified that they’ve been caught, Lu Yao is about to pretend that everything is normal when something comes to mind.
Lu Yao has not forgotten how Youning betrayed him twice.
“Bai Youning!” he seethes, and Chusheng lets him go to chase after his sister.
He watches as the both of them disappear down the hallway and then the stairway with poorly disguised mirth.
“Inspector, are you going back to the station to write the concluding report?” Salim asks, curious.
“I’ll do that tomorrow, I’m going home first,” Chusheng grins, moving past them.
Can I be cheeky& also jump on the Chuyao fic prompt bandwagon, please? Sham marriage idea proposed by LY when his sister appears to drag him back home. Except LY announces straight up he can't as he is with QCS (We are married...spiritually!) and everyone, even QCS, going wth??? Then there's chaos (LY family) but also support (Bai family /all of Shanghai)? And somehow LY & QCS evolve from friends to lovers? I imagine QCS will suffer in this fic becoz of LY antics. Thank you so much!!
ANON, HERE YOU GO: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25225831
-
“You can’t take me away from Lao Qiao, he’s my husband!” Lu Yao blurts out suddenly in the chaos, yelling at the top of his lungs.
The ensuing silence comes swiftly, and it’s so quiet that he thinks he can hear everyone’s heartbeats.
“You are?” yells Youning, about to launch a ceramic vase at an unsuspecting person in front of her.
“I am?” thinks Chusheng, a fist of his opponent’s hair in his right hand.
--
Read the full chapter below
“You can’t take me away from Lao Qiao, he’s my husband!” Lu Yao blurts out suddenly in the chaos, yelling at the top of his lungs.
The ensuing silence comes swiftly, and it’s so quiet that he thinks he can hear everyone’s heartbeats.
“You are?” yells Youning, about to launch a ceramic vase at an unsuspecting person in front of her.
“I am?” thinks Chusheng, a fist of his opponent’s hair in his right hand.
Lu Yao regrets it the moment the words leave his mouth, because he’d said whatever was the first thing on his mind in this moment of crisis, if only to keep everyone from fighting to the death. How did the situation even escalate like this?
His sister (and his siblings, to be accurate) rarely find themselves surprised by their youngest brother, but this time, Lu Miao’s eyes go comically wide as his words sink in. As soon as the surprise comes, however, the cold fury sets in, and Chusheng turns around just in time to have Lu Miao turn her attention on him. If looks could kill…
Chusheng is a little ashamed to say that he might be dead right now.
“You better explain, Lu Yao,” seethes Lu Miao.
===
He sits uncomfortably on the chair in Bai Qili’s manor, looking at his hands on his laps. Next to him, Chusheng sits as well in silence. The man has not exposed him so far, and Lu Yao wonders if he will — on one hand he hopes fervently that Chusheng helps him through this, but the other part fears Chusheng’s anger and disgust after.
He embarrassed Chusheng in front of so many people earlier. Lu Yao basically fake-outed Chusheng and dragged him into this farce, a farce that has no easy solution.
Why didn’t he use his stupid brain before spouting nonsense?
“You must be joking,” Lu Miao snorts, considering Lu Yao. “Which church or registry would have allowed you to officially marry another man?”
“We’re married spiritually!” Lu Yao retorts, when no one else speaks up. “We did our baitang, three bows and all.”
Chusheng doesn’t contradict him, but Lu Yao can almost feel the murderous intent emanating off the inspector who’s sitting closest to him.
“You are being entirely ridiculous, if it’s not officially registered then it doesn’t count at all! You’re coming back with me right this instant-“
“Why are you always sticking your nose into my affairs where it’s not welcomed? I’m perfectly happy here, have you ever thought about what I want? I’m not three anymore, jie!”
They might have continued to argue for hours after, maybe shatter some plates and cups in the process, if not for Bai Qili’s intervention.
“… Lu-xiaojie, perhaps a baitang doesn’t mean much to you or the rest of the Lu family, but the Bai family and Green Dragon Gang takes the ceremony very seriously. Since San Tu is married to Chusheng by ritual, I’m afraid he is one of ours now. If your family insists, I’m sure I can make arrangements for an official registration, conventional or not," the man drawls, as imposing as ever.
Lu Yao almost gapes at Bai Qili — out of everyone present here in this living room, Lu Yao was sure the old man would be the first to beat him to death and then toss his body into the river for daring to corrupt his Chusheng, never mind that Lu Yao comes from a powerful family himself.
How would he not know what a taboo it is for two men to be together in Shanghai, or the rest of China? If they were overseas — Paris, London, anywhere, this would be much more acceptable, so to hear Bai Qili just go with the flow without a word of protest or even a look at Lu Yao is not what he expects of the head of the Bai family.
Finally daring to brave a look at Chusheng, Lu Yao sees his best friend glance over at the same time and freezes.
There’s no anger, not that Lu Yao can see. Some exasperation and resignation perhaps as Chusheng sports an expression that is similar to the one he has when he’s experiencing severe gastric.
San Tu, you can’t tell me you don’t know just how much he dotes on and gives in to you.
This was something Youning said a while ago, and he shudders, all the hair on his skin standing up as Chusheng reaches out a little hesitantly, and then wrapping Lu Yao’s smaller hand in his.
“Da-jie, lao ye-zi, I’m sorry for not informing the both of you earlier, this was indeed an oversight on my part. We completed the ceremony in the Green Dragon Gang’s altar hall… we were still figuring out how to tell you both. My apologies,” he lies smoothly. “And if here is where San Tu wants to stay, I won’t have anyone take him away from me.”
Fuck, Lu Yao curses internally, his eyes widening because why does this sound so, so real?
A squeeze around his hand reminds him that it’s his turn to play his part, and so Lu Yao continues, “Jie, please. I just want to be here with Lao Qiao. If you… if you decide to take me back home anyway, if you do anything to take him away from me… I won’t want to live anymore.”
Lu Miao stares for a good while, but tries again, “Do I not know you well enough? You won’t have the guts to do that. Stop theatening me, it won’t work-“
“You didn’t think I’d cut myself off from the family,” Lu Yao returns quietly. “But I got out from right under your nose, didn’t I? At least for the first year.”
“San Tu, do you even know what you’re doing? He’s a gang member!”
“Hey, what’s wrong with a gang member? Are you looking down on my brother?” interrupts Youning suddenly, her hands on her hips as she furiously snaps at Lu Miao. “This gang member of a brother has been taking care of San Tu, where were you guys when he was down to his last silver and almost getting chased out of his house? It’s Lu Yao’s fortune to have bagged someone as outstanding as Chusheng-ge!"
Lu Yao pales a little at the mention of a fine example of how he’s not taking care of himself well and also at Youning’s insinuation that he married up, then hurries to say, “Jie, there’s no one else for me but Qiao Chusheng. Where he goes, I will go.”
Even in death, is the unspoken part to that declaration.
She falls silent at that. After a beat passes, Lu Miao turns her attention to Chusheng, as if saying, if my brother wants to be ridiculous, so be it, but are you going to ruin your reputation and everything you’ve built just to play along to his whims?
“And you love him?” she asks.
Unconsciously, Lu Yao clutches back at Chusheng’s hand in his, a plea.
“I love and cherish him above all else,” Chusheng replies without the slightest bit of hesitation.
If Lu Yao ignores everyone else around them, he can almost believe Chusheng when he says that.
===
It’s a clusterfuck of epic proportions. Lu Yao is curled up on the couch in Chusheng’s room at the Bai manor, with his knees drawn up to his chest and his fingers pressing at his temple as he contemplates just how much trouble he’s in. Not only has he pissed off his sister, because he’s sure Chusheng is mad at him too.
Now that the anger at his sister and the Lu family has abated somewhat, Lu Yao is finally left alone in his thoughts as he marvels at how bold he was earlier.
He regrets it now of course, but damn, this is the first time he’s been able to pull one over his sister. As ridiculous as he was, Lu Yao manages to think through the consequences of his actions — mainly the possibility that his family will try to do anything and everything within their power to create trouble for Chusheng.
He’s already dealt Chusheng with such a heavy blow, and over his dead body will the Lu family hurt even a strand of hair on his head, Lu Yao vows.
The only other problem is Chusheng’s happiness in the future. Once the news of his sham marriage with Chusheng goes out, will women dare to approach him after? What if there’s a woman that Chusheng really, really likes right now, and Lu Yao has basically ruined everything for him?
Would Chusheng hate him?
So absorbed he is in his thoughts, his teeth gnawing lightly at his nails, that he misses Chusheng’s entry into the room until the man flops down right next to him on the couch. Lu Yao startles so much that he almost falls off the edge of his seat, if not for Chusheng’s fast reflexes.
“You are honestly…” Chusheng admonishes without heat, sounding absolutely tired.
“I’m sorry,” Lu Yao rarely apologizes and admits his wrongdoings, but here he is. “Lao Qiao, I’m so sorry, I swear I wasn’t thinking-“
“Did I spoil you too much?” the man sighs, leaning into his seat with his eyes closed. “That you would pull such a huge lie in front of your family and mine and think that I would, without question, play along?”
The phrasing is strange enough that Lu Yao knows Chusheng is really, really upset.
Panicked, he replies, “Lao Qiao, I- I’ll go and tell them that it was a lie. I just… I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking! I’ll tell Bai lao-ye that it’s a lie, that you’re helping me deceive my sister, so don’t-“
Don’t be angry with me, don’t ignore me, don’t hate me.
“Forget it. You made the announcement to more than 60 people today, San Tu. I just barely smoothed this over with lao ye-zi, and what’s done has been done,” Chusheng finally says, patting at Lu Yao’s shoulder. “We’ll figure this out tomorrow. You can take the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
Other than the fact that Lu Yao doesn’t sleep well in new environments, the events of today have rattled him significantly, and with Chusheng lying on the couch surely awake as well, Lu Yao finds himself staring at the ceiling until dawn breaks.
Lu Yao knows he can fix this for Chusheng.
Can’t he?
===
“Inspector Qiao, congratulations!”
“Da-ge, congratulations! What kind of a brother are you huh, you got married and didn’t think to get us to throw a party for you?”
“Ahh… no wonder Detective Lu has been spending so much time with you recently. You hid it so well, lao-da!”
Chusheng has to be immensely thankful for the support from his brothers and the people who actually know him, like the owners of the snack stalls he frequents, even the newspaper boys that Chusheng regularly tips and everyone at the station. Telegrams start coming in from other precincts that are headed by several other members of the gang, and even some of the petty criminals that are stuck in the holding cell at the station for a few weeks give him their blessings.
Of course, while the people happy for him and Lu Yao actually number more than Chusheng expected, there are as many others who gossip and shoot him strange looks. He can almost hear the, look at him, such a fine young man, if not for his unconventional tastes in a partner.
By the end of the morning, Chusheng has unplugged all electronic communication devices in his office and the doors are firmly locked, with instructions to Salim to not let anyone in unless an entire village is on the cusp of imminent death.
He’s trying his best not to think too much about it. Chusheng meant what he said to Lu Miao before, that there isn’t much he can do for Lu Yao except to ensure that he will not suffer in silence. With the stunt Lu Yao pulled yesterday, this is the best Chusheng can do for him. For now, his strategy is to simply wait until everyone has forgotten that he and Lu Yao are married, and then…
And then what?
It’s not as if baitang is child’s play. Can he simple fake-divorce Lu Yao at the end of this? When will this end, in the first place? A year? Two years, a decade? And let’s say if they do manage that, will any proper and self-respecting woman even consider him?
Chusheng doesn’t have any prejudice against same-sex couples — back when he worked at the docks which saw an all-male staff, sometimes he heard stories about how some brothers would help each other out and find companionship in each other as well — but not everyone shares the same views as he.
At the thought, Chusheng calls, “Ah Dou.”
Ah Dou, who is patiently sorting through Chusheng’s actual work documents and the pile of congratulatory messages that came for him today, looks up from where he’s standing at the shelves.
“Get Liu Zi to send some brothers to protect Lu Yao,” he says with a frown.
That dumbass probably wouldn’t even notice if someone was intending to do him harm and with the way the gossip mill is running, it’s better to be safe than sorry.
And as for the future, possibly marrying a woman…
Chusheng shakes his head, clearing his mind of wishful thoughts.
For someone who doesn’t know if he can live to see the next day, who has blood all over his hands and is no good person at all, Chusheng has never expected to have his own family.
Not even Lu Yao should be tied down to him.
Salim pops his head through a small opening in the doors and asks, “Sir! Two congratulatory flower stands came for you, do you want me to set it up outside the office?”
Finally, Chusheng loses it.
“Anyone who makes another congratulatory remark can spend a night in jail!” he snaps. “What, do people not have anything better to do? I’m not fucking kidding. I don’t want to hear another message coming through the doors of the station, do you hear me?”
“Okay,” Salim replies a little dejectedly, closing the door shut behind him again.
Of course, his outburst and anger is what Lu Yao hears about a few hours later. Remorseful, he turns up at the station and sneaks into Chusheng’s office.
“… what’re you doing here?” Chusheng asks, looking up from his papers.
“Lao Qiao… I’m sorry,” he apologizes, biting at his lower lip. “I didn’t realize there’d be such a huge fuss over this.”
Lu Yao is the perfect picture of a sad, pitiful puppy, and Chusheng has all along doted on Lu Yao, so the image does tug at his heartstrings. As soon as the urge to comfort him comes, Chusheng frowns.
He’s got this all wrong. He’s the one who was wronged and taken advantaged of, so why does Lu Yao look like he’s the one being bullied?
Sighing, Chusheng kicks at the chair in front of him, signalling for Lu Yao to sit down.
“I’m not angry, San Tu. I would have appreciated some warning, and maybe we could have thought things through a little, but as I said last night, that’s all been done and we can’t turn back,” he points out.
“I’ll make it up to you,” Lu Yao swears, “I… I’ll take on all the cases you have while this marriage thing is going on for free? I can… I promise I won’t make you pay for any of my meals again, Lao Qiao. I… I won’t even hang around anymore outside of a case, just… just…”
At that, Chusheng finally laughs, and the sound is a huge relief for Lu Yao, who hasn’t heard him laugh since the shit that went down yesterday.
“I’ll hold you onto the first two then,” Chusheng says nonchalantly. “San Tu ah, what are you thinking? We’re brothers, are we not? You said before that you cherish the friends you have here and… it’s the same for me. If it’s something you want to do, or don’t want to do, I’m at your back ready to support you. For as long as this ruse has to last.”
“Even… if that means you’re in a gay relationship with me? Even if no woman would want to marry you after this?”
“Even then,” Chusheng nods. “I’m no good person to marry anyway.”
“That’s not true!” Lu Yao protests.
“Alright,” Chusheng waves him off. “I’ve already gotten earfuls from Youning and lao ye-zi for not treating you right, so… I guess since everyone thinks we’re married now, you need to move in to my apartment. Get Liu Zi to help you pack, and you really should move in as soon as possible.”
Lu Yao didn’t even think of that. As the implications of staying together with Chusheng sink in, he stiffens in his seat.
“What, you laid your claim on me first and now you’re being all shy about it?” snorts Chusheng, reaching over and poking at Lu Yao’s forehead. “I have an extra room, so don’t worry, husband.”
“Mnn,” Lu Yao nods at that, and his cheeks flush a little pink at the term. “I’ll go pack then.”
“And we have to do dinner at the Bai manor tonight!” calls Chusheng after him.
At the door, Lu Yao blanches.
===
They live together as friends from then on. Compared to Youning, Chusheng is the perfect roommate. At the very least, the likelihood of Chusheng setting something on fire is minimal, and the man’s house surprisingly suits Lu Yao’s tastes. As promised, there is enough space for them to have a bedroom each, and the storage room at the back turns into half a study for Lu Yao and his books.
Lu Yao decides that the least he can do is cook (and now that he has lost his source of income by offering to work for free, the only way he gets fed without having to pawn off his treasures is to ask for grocery money from Chusheng) for them both. When Chusheng realizes that Lu Yao is cooking regularly, he starts coming home early on a daily basis as well.
Bai Le Men and Chang San Tang are off-limits, unfortunately. For now, Chusheng is experiencing what it’s like to live as a monk, but the inconveniences stop there.
In fact, having Lu Yao in the same house as he has its perks, namely the ability to drag Lu Yao out of bed early in the morning for cases.
It’s their first case since the announcement and there is no lack of attention on them, as this is the first time they’re being seen out in public together. When some men in the crowd begin to focus on Lu Yao with less than friendly gazes, Chusheng naturally steps closer to him, his eyes steadily sweeping over the crowd.
He’s mine, he’s trying to say, if you’ve got anything you want to say you come at me.
They solve the murder two days later, and Lu Yao jumps in surprise when Chusheng slides three silvers over the top of the dining table, his usual payment for consulting on cases.
“What…”
“Save it,” Chusheng’s eyes crinkle a little as he smiles, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you eyeing my wallet recently.”
Touched, Lu Yao feels hot tears come to his eyes, “Lao Qiao, I knew it, you’re the best to me-“
“Yeah, remember that the next time you try to use me to lie to your family. I don’t want you to spring an adopted child on me next,” Chusheng downs his wine, shaking his head.
Not as many changes happen after his fake-marriage to Lu Yao, much to Chusheng’s bewilderment.
On a usual day, it’s typical for him to buy breakfast, lunch or dinner for Lu Yao even before they began to live together. The only difference is that he’s going out to buy breakfast every day now before Lu Yao wakes up instead of every few days. Chusheng still chauffeurs him up and down, only the destination is no longer the apartment he shared with Youning, but Chusheng’s house.
Before this, he had Lu Yao’s cooking frequently too as the man would roll up his sleeves and cook for him and Youning at least one a week or every two weeks. They’re both slowly getting used to each other in close proximity, and the latest of developments involve them making grocery trips together every four days.
Everything else has stayed pretty much the same.
When Chusheng sees an imported coat made of high quality sheep’s fur as he passes by a store one day, he doesn’t even think much of it before he’s walking in and buying the expensive outerwear for Lu Yao. The price doesn’t even cross his mind. All he knows is that Lu Yao will like this.
He presents the bag to Lu Yao over dinner the same day, and Chusheng is right.
Lu Yao loves it so much that he leans over the table and presses a kiss to Chusheng’s cheek in excitement.
“What, are you really that happy?” Chusheng teases, but warmth fills him as he sees that he’s made the right choice.
“Of course I am! You know how scared I am of the cold,” Lu Yao points out, hugging the material to himself. “This material is known for trapping heat in!”
A few weeks later, Lu Yao ironically catches the flu bug despite how protected he is, and ends up bedridden with fever. To better take care of him, Chusheng lets Lu Yao rest in his bed so he doesn’t have to run between two rooms.
The bed sleeps two now, even after Lu Yao has made a full recovery. It feels less empty that way and both Chusheng and Lu Yao find themselves warmer under the covers sharing a bed.
As the weeks go by, they shift from having their own sides of the bed, to falling asleep and waking up in each other’s arms, their legs tangled together. Most of the time, Chusheng wakes to Lu Yao’s hair in his nose and his arm resting over Lu Yao’s waist.
And when Chusheng gets hurt by a rival gang involved in their latest case, Lu Yao tells the nurse outside the operating theatre that he’s Qiao Chusheng’s husband loudly. In the days after the operation. the nurses even bring an extra bed into the ward so Lu Yao can keep an eye on his husband.
The nurses and doctors, for one, think that their relationship is cute.
They even survive a trip to Hai Ning to visit Lu Yao’s father. Chusheng has to endure four separate shovel talks, each sounding more deadly than the previous one, but they get to announce their relationship to Lu Yao’s mother at her grave too.
On the train journey back, Lu Yao dozes off against Chusheng’s shoulder. He lifts up his arm to hug Lu Yao to him so he’s laying a bit more comfortably without question, enjoying the feeling of having Lu Yao in his hold.
===
A year after Lu Yao tried to con his way into matrimony with Chusheng, he returns home to an empty house, Chusheng not yet returned from the station. As Lu Yao passes the dining table for the kitchen to put his groceries away, a piece of paper and a metal trinket catches his eye.
It’s a marriage certificate. As real as it can be, with Lu Yao and Chushueng’s name on it.
The realization that they’ve been living just like a married couple in the past year hits him like a freight train and his legs feel weak.
Indeed, they are as real as any married couple existent in the country, minus the sex.
Of course Lu Yao loves Chusheng. There has never been any question about that. Chusheng is the only person Lu Yao truly cares about, more than he cares about himself.
Wherever he goes, I will go, even in death, he said then.
I love and cherish him above all else, Chusheng had answered.
With a small smile tugging at his lips, Lu Yao slides the gold band onto his fourth finger.
Busy at the stove making Chusheng’s favourite beef stew when Chusheng comes home later, Lu Yao is prepared when the man comes close, sliding his arms around his waist and pressing himself against Lu Yao’s back, his chin hooked on Lu Yao’s shoulder.
It’s not difficult to catch the gleam of an identical band sitting on Chusheng’s hand/
“Smells good,” Chusheng inhales deeply.
Lu Yao sets the spatula aside and covers the pot with a lid to let it simmer, and once he’s free, Chusheng turns him around and reaches for his lips.
They kiss softly as if they’ve done this countless of times, when it’s only their first, proper kiss, but it doesn't matter.
“Tomorrow,” Chusheng breathes, his forehead pressed against Lu Yao’s after they part finally for air.
“Let’s baitang for real in the ancestral hall.”
===
*baitang 拜堂 - Traditional Chinese wedding custom which involves three kowtows, there are variations but usually the couple kowtows to heaven & earth, to their ancestors, and then to their parents. Some baitangs will have the couple kowtowing to each other.
Chusheng keeps touching him and Lu Yao tries not to lose his goddamn mind.
(Or, Lu Yao obsesses over Chusheng’s hands. His hands on his skin, in particular.)
---
Qiao Chusheng likes to touch Lu Yao. A lot.
He doesn’t think much of it at first. Sure, Chusheng wiped at the crumbs on the side of his mouth with a gentle thumb once, but Lu Yao called him his boyfriend first, even if it was in jest. Other instances, however, remain fresh in Lu Yao's memory - Chusheng grabbing at his arms and tugging at him until he sat down, or even that really embarrassing incident at the expensive Western restaurant for couples, where Chusheng insisted on putting on the watch for him. Not to mention that one time Lu Yao complained of a headache half jokingly while reading a doctor’s handwriting, and the man trapped him between the table and himself while reading aloud for him.
Chusheng doesn’t touch him for a while after as they get caught up in inter-gang wars and conflict with the British, and then with Lu Miao hell-bent on removing Lu Yao from Shanghai. All is well in the end, however, and with only a slight warning from the British ambassador, Lu Yao is allowed to stay in Shanghai, running around solving cases with Youning at his heels, and Chusheng at his side.
Lu Yao puts this little nugget of information on Chusheng out of his head by then, certain that the inspector was either half fucking with him or just a really affectionate person to people when he first gets to know them.
(He realizes how pitiful the second excuse sounds, much later. Qiao Chusheng, affectionate to strangers? He must be mad.)
Then it all kind of snowballs from there.
===
“Lao Qiao! Would it kill you to be gentler?!” Lu Yao hisses, almost snatching his hand back.
Chusheng’s hold is careful but firm, and with a warning look, he brings Lu Yao’s hand closer to him again, in the midst of applying antiseptic and bandages around his long fingers.
It’s a late night and there’s no one else at the station but the both of them. The next time Chusheng dabs the cotton wool ball around the cuts on Lu Yao’s fingers, he uses much lesser force and Lu Yao quiets with a sulk. Chusheng is focused on cleaning Lu Yao’s cuts, however, and isn’t paying much attention to Lu Yao’s face.
“Look at you, didn’t I say not to go back and get the necklace?” he rebukes, but there’s no heat in his words. “The entire fish tank exploded into pieces and you still dug your hand into the broken glass pieces to find it. Do you love expensive things that much?”
Glaring at the fool of a detective, Chusheng says through gritted teeth, “San Tu, I really should teach you a lesson.”
“Lao Qiao, the necklace is a crucial piece of evidence! I didn’t get it because I wanted it,” Lu Yao says, incredulous.
Chusheng looks up right at that moment with a deadpan. A few seconds pass, and then Lu Yao visibly deflates, “Okay, so I do like the necklace, but even if I liked it do you think I would risk getting hurt all because I wanted an expensive necklace? You know how afraid I am of pain and-“
Lu Yao hisses when Chusheng applies pressure on the largest cut around his index finger with a cloth, trying to stop the bleeding.
“Lao Qiao-“
Chusheng doesn’t even look up at him, and Lu Yao is about to clean the wound himself when Chusheng lifts his hand up and puts Lu Yao’s finger in his mouth, and sucks.
Lu Yao flinches as the sensation hits him right in his abdomen and flustered, he struggles to get his hand back, “Qiao Chusheng, what are you doing? This is so unhygienic-“
“Be good,” Chusheng soothes when he’s finally not eating at Lu Yao’s finger anymore. “Just tolerate it for a bit longer, I’m almost done.”
Lu Yao’s hand throbs, but he’s not quite sure if it’s throbbing in pain, or at Chusheng’s touch. Still reeling from what Chusheng did, Lu Yao sits quietly and obediently as Chusheng cleans at every little cut on his left hand with a single-minded focus.
They don’t talk about what Chusheng did with his mouth, and Lu Yao doesn’t mention how he still felt the warmth of Chusheng’s hands all over the skin on his hand when he went home after.
===
He really needs to throw up, and all he wants is to go home.
“Sir? Sir, are you alright?” someone asks.
Lu Yao flops over a counter top and looks around blearily until he finds what he’s looking for. The receptionist is too stunned to stop him, and so Lu Yao grabs at the phone successfully, swiping at the numbers in a sequence he knows by heart, and waits for it to connect.
“Hello, Inspector’s office,” a familiar voice sounds through the other end of the phone.
“Lao Qiaoooo~ Lao Qiao, I don’t… feel so good, I want to go home,” he mumbles, barely coherent.
“Sir!” a few more voices chorus and hands grab at him, trying to help him as he slips all the way down to the floor, losing the phone receiver in the process.
He refuses to move though, not until he sees Chusheng. Chusheng will know what to do with him, because right now Lu Yao can barely see straight. He doesn’t trust himself to get home like this, but seriously, what the hell did he drink earlier? Lu Yao doesn’t recall drinking more than two bottles and it usually takes him more than three to be truly sick.
He solved a case after clearing three bottles of wine once, so he would know.
Lu Yao must have put up quite a fight because all efforts to remove him from the bar lobby is for naught, and he’s left there sitting on the ground like a lost child. He must lose some time as well, for the next thing he knows, he’s being pushed into the backseat of a car. Panicking, Lu Yao wonders if someone is trying to kidnap him-
“San Tu,” a familiar voice sounds, and Lu Yao shivers, “San Tu, it’s me. Stop moving before you hurt yourself, I’m bringing you home.”
“Lao Qiao,” Lu Yao mumbles, relaxing immediately. “Lao Qiao, you came to get me-“
“You were causing a scene,” Chusheng moves into the backseat next to him and supports his head before it lolls to the side and smacks against the window. “Even if I didn’t want to, I had to. How much did you drink?!”
“Two bottles only,” Lu Yao replies, squinting into the darkness to find Chusheng even though the man is seated right next to him.
“You’re not usually this much of a lightweight,” Chusheng frowns, and then Lu Yao sighs in relief when Chusheng’s hand comes into contact with his forehead, then his neck. It’s so cool and nice and-
He whines when the touch goes away, leaning forward to chase it.
“Ah Dou, you watch him, I need to go back and talk to management for a bit,” he hears Chusheng say.
Lu Yao falls sideways until he’s laying horizontally on the seats as Chusheng leaves, mumbling incoherently.
It feels like forever before Chusheng comes back, and he looks livid from the angle Lu Yao is looking at him from when the man opens the car door again.
“Ge, is everything okay-“ Ah Dou begins, but Chusheng tells him to just drive.
Lu Yao finds his own head being lifted up and pillowed on something firm. The angle his head is lying at helps him to swallow against the nausea, which is a good thing. And then the cool touch comes back, resting on his forehead, caressing at his cheekbones and cupping at the side of his face.
“Did you get into a fight?” asks Ah Dou, but Lu Yao doesn’t know if he’s talking to him.
“Someone thought it was funny to slip a drug into Lu Yao’s drink,” Chusheng replies, and he must still sound angry because Lu Yao frowns and mumbles again. Lowering his voice, he continues, “They won’t be repeating that mistake. Drive back to the house, he’s burning up.”
“Should we get the doctor as well?”
The words get more muffled and jumbled up in his head, but Lu Yao feels anchored with the hands on his face, grounding him. They belong to someone he trusts, his favourite someone, and now that Lu Yao is safe, he lets himself be dragged into the depths of unconsciousness.
If Chusheng continues to feel for his forehead and lets his hand linger on the sides of Lu Yao’s face after he wakes up the next day, Lu Yao keeps it to himself.
===
“Are you a kid?” Chusheng chides, pressing his fingers to his temple as if he can feel a headache coming on.
Lu Yao sits on the ground a little forlornly, his knees drawn up to his chest and his head pillowed on his folded hands. Next to them, officers from the station are busy cataloguing the bags of smuggled opium in the warehouse, where it was hidden with batches of coal meant to be shipped out tomorrow morning.
When Chusheng told him to find a place to hide first when the situation turned for the worse, he probably didn’t expect Lu Yao to end up falling into a hole in the ground, a trap their smugglers left in the jungle to catch unsuspecting intruders, no doubt. It took Chusheng 20 minutes to find him, and by the end of the whole ordeal, Lu Yao is covered head to toe in dirt.
Thankfully, the genius detective is not hurt, but he is sulking.
“Don’t you look when you’re running?” Chusheng continues, exhaling in exasperation as he drags Lu Yao up by his elbow and to the car. “It’s broad daylight out here, the hole was so obvious and you just fell right into it.”
“How is this my fault?” asks Lu Yao, eyes wide as he sits down in the passenger seat. “If anything, it’s your fault. I was worried about you, so I kept turning around to check on you, that’s how I fell in!”
Shaking his head, Chusheng retrieves a handkerchief from his pockets and leans down. Lu Yao tenses, wondering what he could possibly want, when Chusheng pinches Lu Yao’s chin with his fingers and begins to wipe at the dirt on his face.
It’s been a long, long time since anyone did this for him, and once Lu Yao sees what Chusheng is doing, the tension eases out of his body. Quietly he sits and watches as Chusheng cleans his face intently, and this close, he can see every eyelash that the man has. The fingers and hand that cradle his face are gentle, as if Chusheng is holding something precious.
Lu Yao likes that a lot. It reminds him of that afternoon, after getting sick at the club so many weeks ago when he woke up in Chusheng’s bed for the first time with a hammer slamming against the insides of his skull. The man took care of him just like this too.
“Be careful next time,” Chusheng nags, meeting Lu Yao’s eyes finally. “What if I wasn’t here to find you? Then you would have been stuck in the hole for much longer. I can’t always be here to help you out.”
The thought of Chusheng not being around leaves a bitter taste in Lu Yao’s mouth.
“That’s impossible,” Lu Yao says, and he would have sounded petulant on any other day, but today, now, he’s almost imploring, his voice low and quiet.
You can’t leave me alone, he wants to say, but the words don’t leave his mouth.
After a moment of silence, Lu Yao feels Chusheng’s hand ghost over the side of his face and caress at his ear, almost unconsciously.
“Okay,” and that sounds like acquiescence and a promise all in one. Chusheng steps back and tosses Lu Yao the handkerchief. “Clean your hands. We’ll go for dumplings once everyone is done here.”
Chusheng closes the car door behind him as he leaves, no doubt to check on the progress of his men. Leaning his head out of the rolled-down window, Lu Yao raises his voice, “The spicy ones! With a side of hard-boiled eggs!”
The inspector turns around in response and rolls his eyes, but Lu Yao can see the smile tugging at Chusheng’s lips.
===
It drives Lu Yao mad, the way his eyes linger on Chusheng’s hands when they’re in the same room together after that incident.
When Chusheng peruses reports at his desk, when he picks up the damn wine glass from the table, when he reaches for his wallet and pulls out some silvers for Lu Yao to use and even when the man raises his gun and aims it at a suspect.
It’s entirely distracting, and Lu Yao doesn’t know what to do.
What makes it worse perhaps is that in recent days, Chusheng seems to have forgotten what personal space means. If Lu Yao is reading on the office’s couch, Chusheng leans over the back of it, his ear almost pressed against Lu Yao’s as he takes a peek at what Lu Yao is looking at. When Lu Yao is standing in front of floor-to-ceiling book shelves, looking for a specific book, Chusheng reaches past him to get him what he’s looking for pressed almost entirely back to front, even though Lu Yao is taller than he is.
Once, Lu Yao presses at the bridge of his nose with his fingers after looking at a sample under the microscope for too long, and the next second, those fingers are at his temples, massaging gently until his head feels less likely to snap. Even when Chusheng leaves a drink at the table for him, those hands brush past his, and Lu Yao just wants to-
He wants to tear his hair out, that’s what.
===
Within the first two minutes of the movie, Lu Yao jerks at a loud, sudden sound coming from the speakers. He would have jumped out of his seat too, if not for Chusheng’s hand around his wrist.
“What’re you doing?” Chusheng asks in a low voice, looking around to make sure Lu Yao’s movements aren’t causing much disturbance to the audience around them. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid.”
“I’m not!” Lu Yao whispers back, his cheeks heating up.
Chusheng doesn’t look convinced, but doesn’t press the issue any further. His hand leaves Lu Yao’s as he returns his attention to the movie. On the other hand, Lu Yao fidgets in his seat, trying to sit comfortably while averting his eyes from the flashing screen. He’s never going to tell Lao Qiao that he actually doesn’t like horror movies, and the only reason why he’s here is because Youning teased him when he initially turned down the invitation by Director Zhang, Shanghai’s up and rising star, known for paving the way to the horror and thriller movie scene in the country.
Lu Yao and Chusheng (and fine, Youning) cleared the man’s name after three victims were murdered in gruesome fashion according to his previous two movies, and this new one that they are watching right now. The grateful man gave them two VIP tickets for the premiere and Lu Yao wanted nothing to do with horror. He deals with enough horrifying images on a day-to-day basis.
He must have moved a little too much, for Chusheng’s fingers interlace with his in the next moment, their hands curled up together between the seats.
“San Tu, we can leave now if you don’t want to watch this,” Chusheng sighs.
“I’m staying,” Lu Yao insists, even though he’s looking at anywhere except the screen, pretending as if the movie doesn’t scare him half to death.
It’s easier to get through the rest of it, Lu Yao finds, when Chusheng’s thumb begin rubbing circles on his skin. He concentrates on the soothing movement for the remaining hour, and so intent he is on the feel of Chusheng’s hand in his that he misses the movie ending.
They stay in their seats until they’re the only ones left in the theatre, and only then does Chusheng get to his feet, pulling Lu Yao with him.
As they walk towards the exit, as they take the stairs up to the main lobby of the theatre, and as they move past everyone still milling about, Lu Yao’s hand stays firmly in Chusheng’s.
Lu Yao is beginning to think that maybe, just maybe…
…Chusheng might never let go of him.
At the car, just as they are about to separate at the car door, Lu Yao tugs at Chusheng’s hand.
Chusheng looks at him, bemused.
“Take me home?” Lu Yao asks, hoping he’s getting this right. “Not my home. Yours.”
They stand there at an impasse for a while, just staring at each other, afraid to speak next.
Whatever Chusheng sees in Lu Yao’s eyes, however, he must find what he’s looking for, because he smiles then, that specific curve of his lips that makes Lu Yao want to smile too.
“I thought you were never going to ask,” he says.
===
Much, much later, after they’re both sated and Chusheng is asleep, Lu Yao finds himself unable to drift off, even though every part of him is aching.
Aching in a good way, the best way, to be honest. If Lu Yao thought he was losing his mind when Chusheng gave him fleeting touches in the past few weeks, nothing could have prepared him for his mind simply blanking out when the hands he has been obsessing over for so long explore his body in every way possible.
Lu Yao inches closer to his… boyfriend now? Almost reverently, he reaches for Chusheng’s face, and with the lightest of touches, traces his fingers over Chusheng’s forehead. He moves on to his brows, his eyelids, and trailing down the bridge of his nose. His lips, a little swollen from how hard they kissed earlier, desperate and unforgiving. Cupping Chusheng’s cheek, the one not pressed into the pillow, Lu Yao delicately strokes at Chusheng’s cheekbone with his thumb.
He has asked for a lot of things in life — money, antiques, luxurious clothes, cars, his father’s approval and acceptance, his siblings’ recognition — but if he gets to keep just one thing, just this person in front of him for the rest of their years, Lu Yao thinks he might be willing to give the rest of it up.
Warmth engulfs his hand, and Lu Yao watches as Chusheng curls his own fingers over his, shifting slightly in bed without opening his eyes. With a deep exhale, the man turns his head slightly and kisses Lu Yao’s palm.
“Sleep, San Tu,” Chusheng murmurs.
Lu Yao cannot help but smile at that.
“I will,” he agrees, “Once you let go of my hand.”
“Never,” Chusheng returns almost immediately, so naturally.
Inspector Qiao doesn’t recognise Lu Yao, his boyfriend of two years and his best friend for longer than that, after a hard hit to the head and a week spent in a coma.
Lu Yao has to get Chusheng to fall in love with him, all over again.
☞ part 2 (later this week)
--
This is not the Qiao Chusheng he knows, Lu Yao shudders the moment he sees him.
He would know Qiao Chusheng anywhere, his every expression and gaze burned into his heart, his every movement, the way he speaks, and even if the man turned into ashes, Lu Yao swears he would know him.
The man before him is not his Lao Qiao.
Lu Yao feels the bile rise in the back of his throat. All week, Lu Yao has been praying for Chusheng to wake up, to end this nightmare he’s currently in. The nightmare that began when he got a call from Ah Dou late at night a week ago, the man panicking over the phone because Inspector Qiao was hit by a car and he’s bleeding really badly and just come to the hospital-
Hours of surgery and Lu Yao sat outside almost catatonic, not responding to anyone, not even Youning.
All he could think was, what if he leaves me?
And to think, just that morning, Chusheng finally agreed to a short holiday to visit Lu Yao’s hometown, Hai Ning, in three weeks.
Don’t wait up, I’ll see you later, he said.
It was touch and go for the next few days after the surgery, and Lu Yao held onto Chusheng’s hand so tightly that Youning had to put hers over theirs, patting gently and squeezing his shoulder with her other hand.
Of course Chusheng chose to wake up when Lu Yao left to get a coffee days later, rather than all the other times that Lu Yao sat next to him, fervently wishing for the man to open his eyes.
Lu Yao almost asks if this is a joke, if Lao Qiao is getting back at him for that time he got shot and then pretended to be dumb when he woke up, but it only takes a single look at those eyes to know that it’s real, before Chusheng even says a single word.
“Who’re you?” Chusheng asks, polite but distant and a little annoyed, just like when they first met.
It’s Youning who breaks the awkward, stunned silence, “Ge, don’t joke around, how could you… we’ve all been so worried, especially San Tu-“
“Who?” frowns Chusheng.
“Lu Yao,” Youning blinks, incredulous, “This is… This is Lu Yao. Ge, don’t tell me you’ve really forgotten-“
Chusheng raises his hand, the bandages around his head surely uncomfortable, and that’s when the glint of a gold ring on his fourth finger catches his eyes.
“I’m married?” he asks, even more confused. “Who did I marry, Youning?”
Ah Dou, Salim and Youning turn to look at Lu Yao.
“You’re joking,” Chusheng huffs in misplaced amusement. “How could I have married a man-“
Lu Yao sucks in a sharp, deep breath, and then he snaps, “Finish that sentence and you can go back to being single again.”
Stunned at the icy tone and fury underlining each word, everyone turns to stare at Lu Yao with wide eyes, and even Chusheng himself startles.
With that said, Lu Yao then turns on his heels and walks out.
Youning looks between Chusheng and Lu Yao, and in the end, she chooses to chase after Lu Yao, leaving Chusheng to Ah Dou and Salim. Salim exchanges a look with Ah Dou, and promptly leaves, as if saying I’m not paid enough for this, you handle it.
“Ge, what year… what do you remember?”
Chusheng frowns, and then thinking carefully, he answers, “Didn’t Boss Bai… he asked me to report to the police station tomorrow? As Inspector? You were there too, Ah Dou.”
Ah Dou nods slowly, and because there’s no way to hide it from him or ease him into it, he says, “Ge, you’ve lost three years.”
At that, Chusheng is stunned into silence.
Three years?
“And that man?” Chusheng asks, “So when I asked if I was married, you meant…”
“Well, you’re not officially married because there aren’t laws for that now, but… it’s common knowledge that the both of you are in a committed relationship with each other. And you gave Detective Lu the power to sign on your behalf in emergencies, so bank account, hospital, the house, everything… which means you’re as good as married,” Ah Dou points out. “Whatever you do, don’t take off the ring. Detective Lu is going to be pissed if you take it off and… Ge, I think you’ll regret it if you do.”
Chusheng looks down at the plain gold band, twisting it around his finger. He shifts it upwards a little and sees a band of lighter skin matching the ring exactly.
He must have worn this for quite a bit, then.
“Tell me everything,” Chusheng sighs, pressing his fingers to his temples.
===
“San Tu! San Tu!” Youning calls, running after him as he stalks out of the hospital.
With his long legs and at the speed he’s walking, Youning would probably have lost him, but Lu Yao stops right at the curb of the road, then turns around to look at her just as she reaches him.
“That ungrateful bastard,” Lu Yao snaps, seething with rage and hurt, “How could he forget me?! He remembers you, Ah Dou, Salim and probably all the women at the night club or brothel, but he forgot me!”
“San Tu ah, don’t be angry,” Youning cajoles, tugging at his hand. “It’s… it’s probably temporary, so just… he didn’t mean it. Chusheng-ge didn’t mean it, how could he forget you for real? You- just breathe, if you faint here I can’t carry you, San Tu!”
Lu Yao inhales hard at Youning’s reminder, looking away as he tries to compose himself.
“He laughed at the thought of marrying me!” Lu Yao says through gritted teeth, “I wasn’t the one who begged him to put my name on the things he owned, and I didn’t ask him to give me a ring!”
At that, Lu Yao reaches for his own matching ring, and Youning grabs at his hand frantically, “San Tu! Are you mad, don’t be so impulsive!”
Fine, he thinks, dropping his hands to his side, because even as angry as he is, if he takes off his ring, that would mean the end of it, so how could he really bear to take it off?
“How could Chusheng-ge really forget you? You’re, you’re-“ Youning forces a smile at the ridiculous things she’s about to say next, “You’re his baobei*, his xin shang ren*, and you’re right, he chased you. Don’t be angry, okay?”
The more he thinks about it, the angrier he gets. Lu Yao turns and walks away, and alarmed, Youning yells, “Where’re you going?”
“To make dinner for him!” Lu Yao hollers back.
Not that the man deserves it, he sulks, picking up the pace so he can get home faster.
He returns three hours later with a flask of hot soup, and he’s had three hours to think through it.
He knows what a strange situation this must be for Chusheng. Waking up to realize that you’ve lost three years of your memories, stuck three years ago when everyone else is living ahead. From what Ah Dou said to him, dropping by earlier after talking to Chusheng, there’s probably no way to tell when he will regain his memories, if at all.
Lu Yao is a doctor himself, and if the doctors in the hospital can’t do the job, he’ll make sure Chusheng remembers.
He won’t allow Chusheng to forget him, but Lu Yao has to be careful too. He doesn’t want to force Chusheng to remember, lest his memory gets worse.
Chusheng is seated up in bed and awake, reading through the newspapers for the day, when Lu Yao arrives. Hesitantly, Lu Yao knocks on the door twice, and the man looks up at the noise.
“Ah,” Chusheng says, a little awkward. “Lu Yao… right? Ah Dou told me some of it earlier. I’m sorry, I don’t-“
“It’s not your fault, what’re you apologizing for?” Lu Yao cuts him off as he walks in, because he doesn’t need another reminder that Chusheng doesn’t remember him. “I made soup, if you’re hungry.”
“… now that you mention it,” Chusheng replies with a small smile, “Thank you, you didn’t have to go to the trouble.”
Lu Yao scoops out a bowl for him, and then with stilted movements, passes the bowl over to Chusheng.
If Chusheng didn’t forget him, Lu Yao probably would have insisted on feeding him.
Well, now they can both be disappointed.
“You cook? This is delicious,” Chusheng says, looking up.
“Then eat more,” Lu Yao inches the flask closer to Chusheng on the table. “You’ve lost a lot of weight from the week you were asleep.”
He eats in silence until the entire flask is empty. That Lu Yao is able to do something for Chusheng when he could do nothing but sit at his side this entire week eases the knot that’s been building up over the past few days in his chest slightly.
This Chusheng, however, is so polite and careful that it hurts. Even in the beginning when they first met, Lu Yao’s first meeting with the man ended up with a black eye for him, and Chusheng was rude too, accusing him of murder.
“The doctor says you can be discharged tomorrow. I-“ Lu Yao pauses. “Youning and I discussed it. We’ll swap houses for a while so she can take care of you while you… recover.”
“But that’s your house too, isn’t it?” asks Chusheng, surprised. “I won’t chase you out of your own house. In fact, your name is on the house. If anyone should be moving, it should be me.”
At the thought of Chusheng moving out, Lu Yao freezes. He probably doesn’t mean it that way, but all Lu Yao hears is that Chusheng wants to leave, wants to leave him and can’t even stand the thought of being in the same house as he.
The hurt he feels at that must show on his face, because Chusheng sighs a moment later, “Lu Yao. I’m… I’m sorry if I’m making this difficult on you. None of us has to move out.”
“Okay,” Lu Yao breathes, nodding. “You have two rooms, I’ll move into the study. And if you’re uncomfortable with anything, you should let me know.”
Chusheng nods in response, and he’s not sure why his panic recedes when he sees the furrow between Lu Yao’s eyes disappear. Some part of him remembers, Chusheng supposes, even if the part of his brain that has memories of Lu Yao in it is entirely blank.
“… then, I’ll go back first and pack up the house a little,” Lu Yao decides, even though he wants to stay here, right at Chusheng’s side. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow with Youning.”
His presence is more likely to trouble Chusheng than anything at this point, and Lu Yao knows that.
“Okay,” Chusheng agrees, sounding a little relieved.
Lu Yao tries not to let it get to him. You love this man, he tries to remind himself.
Outside the door, Liu Zi and some of Chusheng’s other brothers stand guard. At the sight of him, they straighten, looking at him with something akin to expectation and hope. When Lu Yao only shakes his head, it’s almost comical the way all their shoulders droop.
Liu Zi pats at Lu Yao’s shoulder, “Si-ge will remember, sao-zi. Don’t worry, we’ll keep him safe, so you should go back and take a rest.”
Lu Yao glares at the man for calling him that, but relents after a moment. “If there’s anything, call me.”
“Hnn. Ah Ming, send Lu-ge home.”
At home, however, lying in their bed for the last time in a long while, Lu Yao finds himself unable to sleep despite how tired he is.
What if Chusheng never remembers him?
===
For the most part, they try not to get in each other’s way once Chusheng returns home. As promised, Lu Yao sets up a makeshift bed in the study and pretends he doesn’t see how relieved his boyfriend looks when he sees the bed ready for one person only.
You can’t rush the process, the doctor told him in the hospital, brains are a tricky thing as you know, it’ll come back to him when he’s ready.
That would mean anytime between today and never, Lu Yao thinks darkly.
Luckily for them both, Chusheng is on leave for the next week and no urgent cases have come in yet that Ah Dou cannot handle, so Lu Yao resolves to jog Chusheng’s memory gently throughout the week.
And so he tries. Lu Yao makes all of Chusheng’s favourite dishes, hoping that the taste will be familiar to him, but his hopes continue to fall flat after a week. When the both of them are seated in the living room reading, Lu Yao occasionally forgets that this isn’t the Chusheng that loves him, and when he makes a joke after reading something interesting in the news, expecting Chusheng to laugh with him or tease him, Lu Yao looks up when it’s met with a simple noise of assent, only to see Chusheng engrossed in his own reading.
When Chusheng gets back to work, Lu Yao is about to tear his hair out in frustration, and Chusheng can’t even bear to look at him for fear of seeing disappointment and hurt in Lu Yao’s eyes.
Lu Yao thanks the heavens when a case lands at their feet two days later, eager to have something to do, and maybe when Chusheng works with him, he’ll actually remember something.
As expected, when Lu Yao goes off solving the case with clever deductions, Chusheng seems awed and impressed. His nod of approval at Lu Yao’s skill almost reminds him of his Chusheng.
Almost.
As Ah Dou and Salim take the murderer on their latest case away, Lu Yao stretches to get rid of the tensed muscles in his neck and back from running around two days without rest.
“Shall we go get some dumplings? I’m so hungry-“ he begins, only to see Chusheng already walking ahead of him.
“… hmm?” the man asks when he’s halfway across the courtyard of the murderer’s house, “Ah. You can go ahead, I’ll go back with Salim and Ah Dou.”
He leaves him there and Lu Yao wants to call for him, but all he can do is watch as Chusheng leaves with the rest, reeling from the fact that Chusheng just-
-left him here, without even a second glance.
Chusheng has never left him to eat on his own before, especially after a successful case.
At that moment, Lu Yao thinks this is what it feels like, perhaps.
Heartbreak. Rejection. Disappointment.
It takes losing Chusheng to realize how much he took Chusheng’s love and concern for granted. Is this retribution and karma for not being nicer to Chusheng before, he wonders.
Since they met, it was always Chusheng who was turning up at his door to badger him, showering him with attention and gifts, being at his side constantly, quietly protecting him and asking for nothing in return.
It hurts, and fucking hell it hurts like nothing else he’s felt in this world before, but Lu Yao supposes it’s time for him to give back.
So Lu Yao picks himself up again, brushing the incident off. Wherever Chusheng is, that’s where he will be, even if it means forgoing tea.
===
“Well, now you know how good Chusheng-ge was to you,” Youning laments a week later, but she’s careful not to rub salt into Lu Yao’s wound.
She knows how much Lu Yao is doing for her brother, doing everything that Chusheng would have done for Lu Yao before - waiting for him to go home from work, bringing him an umbrella if it’s raining even if they’re not working at the station at the same time, bringing him the food he likes for supper.
Lu Yao is trying so hard, and she knows it. That’s not to say that Lu Yao ignored Chusheng’s efforts before the whole amnesia thing, but Lu Yao was always the one pampered and taken care of by Chusheng like this, endlessly spoilt by her lovesick fool of a brother who wanted nothing more than to lay the world at Lu Yao’s feet.
Seeing Lu Yao this exhausted and upset hurts her too.
She saw the way Lu Yao flinched when he offered Chusheng to help treat a cut on his back a few days ago, only for her brother to chuckle awkwardly before pulling up his shirt, telling them that he could do it himself.
The light in Lu Yao’s eyes is dimming with every passing day, and she’s afraid that at some point, he’s going to give up.
It has been three long weeks that undoubtedly feels much longer for Lu Yao.
Everytime she tries to broach the subject with Chusheng-ge, however, the man shoots her a warning look, and it’s the look he usually gives her when he’s really irritated, telling her to back off. Met with his rejection on this front, there’s nothing much Youning can do for them.
“Sleep here tonight,” Youning pats at Lu Yao’s hand, then squeezing it in support, pouring all her love for him and Chusheng-ge into her touch. “Take a break, you’ve been taking care of him for so many weeks.”
Lu Yao heads upstairs obediently and gets under the covers after a shower.
Youning knows he does not sleep.
===
A few weeks later, Lu Yao finds that he and Chusheng are finally at a comfortable equilibrium, living as roommates with each other rather than as lovers. Chusheng is finally starting to get used to Lu Yao’s quirks, and when Lu Yao whines that he’s hungry these days, Chusheng laughs, sounding a little more like himself, and brings Lu Yao to go eat.
“You’re going to end up eating yourself to death,” sighs Chusheng with a shake of his head, but he makes a right turn anyway, heading to the restaurant Lu Yao named earlier.
It gives him hope. If Chusheng cannot remember him, then Lu Yao just has to make him fall in love with him again.
Lu Yao makes sure to bring Chusheng to all the places they frequented together — the bar, the restaurants, the casino and even previous crime scene locations.
He even brings Chusheng to the couple’s restaurant where Chusheng gifted him with the watch, and Lu Yao regrets the way he reacted that night, because seeing Chusheng’s discomfort feels like a sucker punch to the gut now that their positions are reversed.
It’s been two months, and Chusheng hasn’t called him ‘San Tu’ or ‘Yao Yao’ even once.
The nights are the worst, because more often than not these days, Lu Yao wonders when he should give up. When is he going to see the sign that tells him that all he’s doing is futile and that he shouldn’t be wasting any more of Chusheng’s time?
After all, if Chusheng didn’t fall in love with him then, maybe he would be married by now, with children even.
===
It all comes to a head a few days later, at Bai Le Men.
Lu Yao was investigating another lead with Youning on the outskirts of the city, and when they return, Salim tells them that Ah Dou and Inspector Qiao went to Bai Le Men to talk to a possible source there.
He doesn’t have a good feeling about it, but heads over anyway with Youning in tow.
When they turn up, the first thing Lu Yao sees is Chusheng flirting with a woman near the dance floor, and his entire body flushes cold, his eyes going wide as they zoom in on his boyfriend.
Lu Yao watches with rapt fascination almost, because that’s a smile he hasn’t seen in months. It’s a smile that Chusheng directed exclusively at him after they got together, a smile that only Lu Yao is privy to.
The finger where his ring used to sit at is empty.
Seeing him flirt with another woman, a woman that is just his type before he fell for Lu Yao, Lu Yao cannot breathe. Before he does something he might regret, Lu Yao spins on his heels quickly and leaves Bai Le Men.
“San Tu, San Tu!”
Youning is calling for him, but Lu Yao doesn’t stop walking. At some point, he breaks into a run, wanting to get away from the club and put as much distance between himself and Chusheng as possible. There’s a ringing in his ears and all he can hear is the sound of his heartbeat.
He doesn’t even register getting home and locking himself in the bathroom until he’s sobbing, for the first time in weeks, seated on the floor against the door with his knees drawn up to his chest. He griefs for himself, for losing Chusheng for real, because this has to be it.
It’s devastating, realizing that he will never, ever get Chusheng back. The ring on his fourth finger mocks him, a symbol of what he cannot have. In a sudden burst of anger, Lu Yao snatches the ring off and flings it out, uncaring of where it lands.
His sobs echo in the spacious bathroom, and he cries until he can’t breathe any more, until he has nothing left to give.
Exhausted, Lu Yao curls up on the floor.
I’ll move out tomorrow, he thinks.
---
Notes:
*ge - brother
*si-ge - fourth brother
*sao-zi - sister-in-law, i get the gender discourse and everything around this but it’s just a term to refer to the spouse of Chusheng who is Qiao Si-ye and shows that Liu Zi and everyone under Chusheng respects Lu Yao as his equal partner (cuz there’s no gender neutral term for that in this setting)
*baobei 宝贝- baby/darling
*xin shang ren 心上人 - lover, someone who lives in his heart, who he treasures
*Bai Le Men - the night club that Chusheng frequents
May I please request a fic where LY realises that he is in love with QCS but then agonizes, really agonizes, over it as QCS is a ladies man? I kinda just want LY to suffer a bit while realizing that he took QCS for granted before he gets his happy ending. LY did say he cherished QCS but I wish the series showed more QCS cherishing by him. Thank you and looking much forward to your green dragon gang LY fic!! *__*
sad, hungry, angry and lonely
Jealousy is an ugly thing, and Lu Yao knows he’s the furthest thing from Chusheng’s ideal type. He’s not a nice person, for one. He’s not mature at all and ends up getting into trouble more often than not. He rarely goes out of his way to make someone else happy without something in return.
Most importantly, he’s no woman, and Chusheng is a ladies man.
—
5
Unlike what he’s read in romance novels and heard from some of his friends, no fireworks go off when he realizes that he’s in love with Chusheng.
It’s not something to celebrate about, Lu Yao thinks, a heavy weight settling into his abdomen as he tries to wrap his head around the fact that he prefers Qiao Chusheng to any of the women he’s ever dated in the past few years. That he wants Chusheng more than he has ever wanted anyone else.
He wants Chusheng to have eyes only for him, to reserve all his affection and adoration for him.
Lu Yao watches as Chusheng leaves his car, looking all dapper in a fresh suit. A different outfit from when he was at the station earlier with Lu Yao, and he must’ve gone home to change before picking his date up.
A long, slender leg is revealed from the other side of the car, and as Chusheng helps the woman — his date for the night — out like the gentleman is he is, he doesn’t notice Lu Yao standing there at the entrance to Bai Le Men.
It’s only when the couple turns around, ready to head inside the club that Chusheng’s eyes land on him, and surprise floods him.
“San Tu, what are you doing here?” Chusheng asks. “Did something happen? There isn’t a case, is there?”
I wanted to see you, Lu Yao thinks.
Lu Yao can’t really explain why he’s here either. Realizing that he is in love with Chusheng, the first thing he did was to find him, to take a look at the man he loves. His eyes rove over the features on that lovely, handsome face. From Chusheng’s brows, to his eyes, his nose, his lips, his neck… all the way to his toes.
A man that Lu Yao cannot help but love, and cannot have.
“Nothing much,” Lu Yao says, trying to sound nonchalant even as the pain in his chest burns on. “You’ve never brought me here to have fun even once, just felt like coming over.”
“I-“ Chusheng blinks, then looking between him and his date, he seems a little conflicted, put on the spot. “If you wanted me to bring you, I’ll bring you next time-“
“It’s alright,” the woman hanging on Chusheng’s arm says with a lovely smile, and Lu Yao feels the urge to snatch Chusheng over from her, “Qiao-ge, I’ll get us a table for three and wait for you inside.”
Then charmingly, she turns to Lu Yao and goes, “Detective Lu, I’ve heard a lot about you from Qiao-ge. It’s nice to have you join us today.”
Before Chusheng or Lu Yao can reply, she saunters into the club.
Chusheng sighs, but now that it’s just him and Lu Yao, it’s easier for him to talk.
Stepping forward until he’s right in front of Lu Yao, he says, “Look at how understanding she is. You, on the other hand… I did tell you I had a date tonight, didn’t I?”
And yet, because it’s Lu Yao, because he’s used to Lu Yao being ridiculous and childish, Chusheng’s voice softens as he asks, “Have you eaten dinner? Bai Le Men has excellent snacks on Thursdays-“
Look at how understanding she is.
“I forgot,” Lu Yao interrupts Chusheng, straightening his back. “I’m going home.”
He moves past Chusheng without another look, biting at his lips. Lu Yao is feeling all hot over and a little nauseous, but he doesn’t want to be here for a moment longer. Ignoring Chusheng’s call, Lu Yao walks in the direction of his home quickly, his mind focused on putting one foot after the other, the gravel on the road crunching loudly under his shoes.
Look at how understanding she is.
Of course, Lu Yao laughs, the sound hollow and wistful.
He’s not the least bit understanding.
It hurts like a jagged knife carving away at his flesh bit by bit, knowing that Chusheng is nice to him not because Lu Yao is special to him, but because he needs Lu Yao around to help him solve cases and along the way, he got used to Lu Yao being demanding and unreasonable.
Jealousy is an ugly thing, and Lu Yao knows he’s the furthest thing from Chusheng’s ideal type. He’s not a nice person, for one. He’s not mature at all and ends up getting into trouble more often than not. He rarely goes out of his way to make someone else happy without something in return.
Most importantly, he’s no woman, and Chusheng is a ladies man.
===
4
Lu Yao likes it when Chusheng’s hands are on his skin — wiping at his mouth, grabbing at this wrist, pulling him in around his shoulders — and it’s something that Chusheng continues to do without much thought. If Lu Yao enjoys the attention more than he should, no one is any the wiser.
He should have known that he is anything but special to Chusheng.
Chusheng brings him to Bai Le Men for a night out as promised a few weeks later, and as much as he resents having to spend the next few hours watching Chusheng flirt with other women, it’s more time he has with Chusheng and he’s all the more greedy for it.
Almost fifteen minutes in, Lu Yao is pissed off enough to regret it.
Right in front of him, three women surround Chusheng on both sides, all speaking in sickeningly sweet tones. Lu Yao’s mood darkens for the rest of the night, but he keeps quiet. After all, the food here is good as promised, and as much as he felt the momentary loss of his appetite, Lu Yao reasons that there is no need for him to punish his stomach too. So he buries his head in the dishes and finishes it all.
Halfway through, when Lu Yao looks up, the first thing he sees is Chusheng’s arm is around Mei Xiang’s shoulders, drawing her into his embrace.
The sight makes his blood boil, and if Lu Yao sits here for any longer, he’s afraid he’s going to cause a scene.
“I’m done,” he says, wiping at his own mouth with the napkin on the table and getting to his feet almost petulantly.
“… San Tu?” asks Chusheng, bewildered. “What-“
It’s hardly the gracious thing to do, Lu Yao knows, but he still turns on his heel and leaves the private room Chusheng reserved. He doesn’t stop even after Chusheng calls out for him one more time.
Lu Yao doesn’t know how if he’s disappointed or relieved that Chusheng doesn’t chase after him.
===
3
He doesn’t even make it into the room this time. Chusheng headed straight to Chang San Tang earlier to meet Yao Qin, who may have some leads on the new case they’re on at present. He sent Ah Dou to pick Lu Yao up in the morning and by the time he turns up, he hears soft, melodious laughter coming from the room both of them are in, the door open wide.
Lu Yao pauses in his footsteps before he reaches the door. From where he’s standing, he can see Yao Qin in a fitting, gorgeous green cheongsam, her long hair coiffed to perfection and her makeup accentuating the loveliest features on her face. Out of all the women that Chusheng knows, Lu Yao has to say he actually likes Yao Qin to some degree.
The last time they were here, Lu Yao remembers wolfing down some pastries, the same ones that are sitting on the table in the room right now. Chusheng’s thumb was gentle then, brushing away the crumbs stuck to the side of his mouth.
Today, it seems Yao Qin has that honour instead.
His breath catches in his throat, his eyes wide as he watches Chusheng’s hand reach for Yao Qin’s beautiful face. He forces himself to keep his eyes open as Chusheng’s movements mirror what he did for Lu Yao that afternoon.
She’s like my sister, he said then.
He wonders if he’s like a brother to Chusheng in this case.
It’s Yao Qin who realizes he’s standing frozen outside the door, and the warmth that surfaces on her features eases the tightness in his chest slightly. Lu Yao wants to run, but they have a case to solve.
“I’m hungry,” Lu Yao says instead, schooling his expression and walking in.
“What do you want to eat?” asks Yao Qin, her eyes brightening. “Lu Yao, didn’t you like those dumplings I made the other time? I’ll get the kitchens to send a set up.”
Before Lu Yao can say anything, she’s on her feet and out the door.
“You’re such a glutton,” Chusheng sighs, exasperation obvious as he pats at the seat next to him. “You didn’t even say hello.”
Before his epiphany, Lu Yao might have found Chusheng’s comment fond, but all he hears now is rebuke and disapproval. He picks up the last pastry sitting on the plate in front of him.
It tastes like ashes on his tongue.
===
2
Who was the one who said he would be my wallet, seethes Lu Yao.
His anger simmers like the pot of stew sitting on the stove before him as he tries to tune out what Youning and her new friend, the latest addition to the tabloids that Youning works at are chattering on about. Seated opposite them at the dining table waiting for dinner to be done is Chusheng, who is listening to both women intently, unaware of Lu Yao’s change in mood.
“… Chusheng-ge, I saw this camera at the store on Fu Lu street last week, but… it’s really expensive,” Youning whines. “Chusheng-ge, can you…”
In the span of half an hour, Youning has managed to coax a promise out of Chusheng to buy her an imported dress, and also to bring Youning and her friend out to one of the classy restaurants near Bai Le Men. Xiao Xu came to Shanghai all on her own, leaving her parents behind in Nanjing to better provide for them, and Chusheng-ge, let’s welcome her to the city, what do you say?
Lu Yao looks up, turning around for a peek when he hears the sound of a loud thud. There lying on the table between Chusheng and the two women is his leather wallet.
“Just take my wallet and go, I don’t want to hear any more about this,” sighs Chusheng. “You’re no longer a kid, Youning.”
“Aiya, Ge I know you dote on me the most! Even more than my silly father-“
“Youning, you’re so lucky to have such a doting brother,” Xiao Xu exclaims.
“If you need anything,” Chusheng adds kindly, speaking to Xiao Xu, “Feel free to look me up at the station. It’s tough being in Shanghai alone, without friends and family.”
You’re not that special, Lu Yao bites at his lips as he quickly returns his attention to the pot.
Chusheng has so much money and he never promised that he would be Lu Yao’s exclusive source of money. He has no right to be jealous, he knows that. Furthermore, this is Bai Youning! It’s his sister, and is Lu Yao going to go green with envy over Chusheng’s annoying sister?
Even so, miserable thoughts swirl in his head — Chusheng declared that he would be his wallet, but he refused to pay for Lu Yao’s baguettes a few times too. When Lu Yao asked for Chusheng’s money to buy that claypot over from the kitchen help a few cases ago, the inspector’s unamused glare almost made Lu Yao back down, despite eventually handing over his wallet.
It was simply a few pieces of bread and a pot then, and here Chusheng is at present, easily giving up his actual wallet to Youning to buy a dress and a camera at exorbitant prices.
It’s not that Lu Yao is greedy for the money itself, he has to admit. More than that, he yearns for the attention Chusheng seems to give him, that fond roll of his eyes, that wide, doting smile, whenever he ends up paying for Lu Yao’s meal or shopping. He wants it all to himself.
What if… what if Chusheng stops treating him to things altogether?
Chusheng peels the hard-boiled eggs Lu Yao made during the dinner a little later. He drops one in Lu Yao’s bowl first and Lu Yao should be happy about that, but he can’t find it in himself to be truly delighted when Chusheng drops the second and third eggs into Youning and Xiao Xu’s bowls too.
For the first time in a long while, Lu Yao finds his appetite entirely absent during a meal.
===
1
“She’s someone I might have considered marrying,” says Chusheng wistfully on a Wednesday evening.
They both watch as one of the suspects in the case, now cleared of all charges, walks away, and if Lu Yao wasn’t so in love with Chusheng, he might find himself agreeing to that.
It feels like Tong Li all over again. Seeing Chusheng’s dreamy smiles and that faraway look whenever he thought of the woman, sitting there quietly as support when she turned out to be a murderer and tear drops trickled down Chusheng’s cheek in a rare show of vulnerability, being with him as both their hearts broke for different reasons.
And here this womanizer is all over again, falling in love with another mysterious, intriguing and intelligent woman.
Qiao Chusheng has a type, and Lu Yao is once again reminded of how impossible it is to have his feelings returned.
Lu Yao wants to try. Right this moment, he wants to tell Chusheng just how much he feels, how much he thinks about Chusheng all the time.
How he wants to spend the rest of his life with him.
He knows it’s a lost cause, however. This was a battle lost even before Lu Yao had a chance to fight it and he knew it all along, through every instance of burning jealousy, his eyes green with envy as they tried to devour a man who would never be his.
Chusheng saying this is the last nail on the coffin. As much as Lu Yao wants to ignore the jagged knife digging into his heart, he knows he has no way to tie Chusheng to him.
“Mnn,” he responds, his voice uncharacteristically soft, “You could, if you wanted to.”
“… San Tu-“
“Inspector!” Salim marches into the interrogation cell, saluting Chusheng firmly. “The Commissioner is here in your office looking to speak with you.”
Chusheng’s eyes snap to Lu Yao, and then for some reason, he’s frowning as he grabs onto Lu Yao’s hand. He says, “San Tu, wait for me. I’ll be done in a bit, I have something to say, okay?”
What else is there to talk about?
He doesn’t reply or look at Chusheng, and in the end the man lets him go.
It’s an escape for Lu Yao and he takes it, walking away without another word.
===
0He knows he’s being petulant, but Lu Yao doesn’t have the slightest bit of energy to move. All Lu Yao feels is exhaustion and grief, his limbs leaden with weight as he hides under the covers on his bed. How long has it been? Two days, or three?
Not even Youning has dared to come and disturb him these few days. As much as they don’t get along, Youning can sometimes be terribly attuned to his moods when they’re at extremes. She tried coaxing him out once the first day, and when Lu Yao continued to lie in his bed unmoving, his head covered by the blanket, she left him to it.
He’ll be better once there’s a case. Before that, he’s entitled to a dramatic, ridiculous bout of self-pity as he wallows in utter misery.
Chusheng said he wanted to talk to him, but Lu Yao doesn’t want to hear any of it. He doesn’t want to listen to Chusheng drawing lines and distancing himself away from Lu Yao deliberately because he knows how Lu Yao feels about him. He has to know.
So wrapped up he is in his thoughts that he misses the sound of soft footsteps approaching, and it’s not until the bed dips that Lu Yao realizes there’s someone here in the room with him.
Judging from the lack of noise, it’s probably not Youning.
“You didn’t listen to me finish,” Chusheng’s low voice sounds.
“I wanted to say that she’s someone I might have considered marrying,” he continues with a soft sigh when there’s no response from Lu Yao still. “Before I fell in love with you, stupid.”
At that, Lu Yao finally sits up, the blankets falling from him. Before he can even accuse Chusheng of being a bastard and lying to him right now, the inspector snags Lu Yao’s arm with a firm hand, and Lu Yao almost yelps as he falls right against Chusheng.
He’s too stunned to say anything else.
“I’m sorry it took me a while to notice,” Chusheng murmurs in his ear, his arms tightening around Lu Yao, as if scared that he might run away again. “You must’ve waited for me for quite a while, huh?”
Lu Yao swallows with difficulty, torn between pushing Chusheng away and staying right here where he wants to be.
“You like… women,” he stammers.
“I do,” Chusheng agrees. “But I love you. I don’t care about anyone else.”
“Well I couldn’t tell at all-“
“I haven’t been to Chang San Tang and Bai Le Men in months,” Chusheng interrupts, pressing a kiss behind Lu Yao’s ear and as expected, the action makes Lu Yao weak as he melts entirely against Chusheng now. “I know you don’t like it when I get too close to others. And… I’ll leave my wallet for Youning, but you can have everything else I own.”
After months, months of having to quietly deal with his feelings for Chusheng, this seems too good to be true.
Lu Yao can’t bring himself to pull away, even if this turns out to be a lie.
Gosh, he would give anything for this to not be a lie.
“Why did it take you so long, you bastard,” he chides instead, one hand hitting at Chusheng’s back. “Do you know how long I waited-“
“I know,” Chusheng replies, sounding helpless. “I’m sorry I hurt you. And… thank you for waiting for me. I wanted to tell you for a long time now, but I couldn’t quite figure out where to begin.”
His thumbs carry away the tears on Lu Yao’s face, and his heart breaks at the dark eye circles under those bright eyes.
Chusheng leans forward and kisses Lu Yao sweetly.
When he pulls away later, Lu Yao is smiling a little, and Chusheng finds his own lips curving upwards in answer to that.
“I’ll do everything I can to make you happy, Lu Yao,” he promises, pressing their foreheads together.
“Everything?”
“Everything,” Chusheng agrees with a laugh.
===
There’s a lot Chusheng has to make up for, but here is where he wants to start.
