#ms spouse

[loving-kirby]

There’s No Place Like Home

Kirby and I are in the process of moving. We have been married for twenty-five years and lived in the same house since day one (below). It has been remodeled at least four times, and we have made it something we are proud of, but we thought it was time for a change. 

We have a large yard that requires a great deal of work in the summer. Heat is difficult to deal with when you have multiple sclerosis. I work very hard to protect Kirby’s energy and prevent a setback, so I do the majority of the outside work. Many times I will work fifty hours in a week and spend ten more hours on weekend yard work. We decided that we need to spend time doing more things together, so we are moving to town. 

We are moving to a great neighborhood and we love our new house (above) that needs some TLC too. We are so excited go from all the yard work to walking hand in hand to the movie theater, coffee house or farmer’s market and enjoying our small town. We can do things early in the day or late in the afternoon to keep Kirby out of the heat.

In the blog profile picture (above), Kirby is wearing his “Home T”, it is his favorite shirt. “The Home T” donates 10% of their profits to MS research https://www.thehomet.com/pages/our-story. The kids and I have a Home T too, we are showing our love and support for Kirby and others dealing with MS. The term “Home” means so much. It is safety, shelter, comfort and our soft place to land. We know although we are leaving the house we worked on for twenty-five years, it is just a house, our “home” is wherever we are together. Together we live our lives, do our best, enjoy our blessings and through it all you can rest assured, I will be Loving Kirby.

[loving-kirby]

You Don’t Look Sick!

Multiple Sclerosis is often an “unseen” disease.

Kirby hears it all the time, “you don’t look sick”.

He never says he is “sick”, he refers to it as a condition or affliction.

YOU DON’T SEE WHAT I SEE

Kirby was laughing in this picture, because he was struggling to focus.

Sometimes we laugh to keep from crying.

His vision is impaired due to a lesions near the occipital lobe of his brain.

YOU DON’T HEAR WHAT I HEAR

Kirby is always in charge of the remote while watching television. 

Another side effect of MS is tinnitus, a constant drumming in the ear. 

YOU DON’T FEEL WHAT I FEEL

This was Kirby’s birthday, he was excited to received copper compression socks from our daughter.

He often has pain and heaviness in his legs.

Kirby is very loved, over the years he has received many gifts geared at alleviating his discomfort.

I’M NOT DRUNK, I HAVE MS!

This is one of Kirby’s favorite lines!

He is so wonderful, I just can’t stop Loving Kirby!!

[loving-kirby]

One Foot in Front of the Other

When I met Kirby one of the things that drew us together was our love of music.

We were both in show choir and loved to sing and dance together.

This is us at a dance in middle school.

When Kirby was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis we thought those days would be over, and that broke our hearts.

There has been several physical impairments and setbacks, but overall we are blessed. Kirby has Relapse-Remitting MS (RRMS) which means he has flareups but the symptoms usually diminish after some time and may or may not leave permanent damage.  

Kirby and I on Beale Street in Memphis, TN, a music mecca!

He struggled for sometime with Foot Drop. This caused him to lose the ability to raise his forefoot. For a time he had to wear a brace to keep from tripping while walking, let alone dancing.

Even when he wore his brace, we DANCED. We have danced nearly every day of our lives together. Even just for a moment, just because we can.....

I just can’t help.........loving Kirby!!

[loving-kirby]

Mustard Seed Faith

"Faith the Size of a Mustard Seed" by Dane Vandeputte  is licensed under Creative Commons

I am a spiritual person, however, sometimes it hangs by a thread.

There are times I struggle and question the GRAND PLAN.

My role as Kirby’s wife, partner in life, and caregiver is the STRONG ONE.

This is a role I fail over and over.

This scripture from the bible brings me comfort...........

“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” -Matthew 17:20 NLT

Look at that SMILE! It may only be the size of a pinhead at times, but I remain faithful. He counts on me, I never want to let him down, and I will always be loving Kirby.

[loving-kirby]

Health....

is something most of us take for granted, especially when we’re young. In 2005, we were standing in a doctors office. Kirby had been having some “VISION ISSUES”, and his optometrist said he needed some blood work. After following up and a battery of tests, the doctor called and asked us to come into the office. I was very scared but trying to be optimistic and supportive FOR KIRBY, although he is always calm and strong. The doctor looked at my 32 year old husband and said, “you have MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS”..................the air went out of the room......tears fell down my face and a smile came across Kirby’s. I felt like someone punched me and he was happy! I said “WHY?”!! He smiled again, he looked in my eyes and said, “I thought I had a brain tumor, I thought I was going to DIE, we can live with this diagnosis.” At that moment I realized he had been keeping other symptoms from me and issues had been going on longer than he had let on. He has a way of dealing with a moment and keeping me centered, just one of many reasons I am always...............loving Kirby.