#mtftmtf retransition

[selenic-echoes]

So now that I'm a cis girl who wants to ruin my brain and make me a dumb little slut?

[selenic-echoes]

This blog is not dead I just obviously haven't been horny often because my genitals were replaced by a wound. However, as that wound heals into being new genitals I will probably get horny again sometimes.

I've always been really into transformation kink and the next year is obviously going to be a prime opportunity to reinvent myself, in what way? who knows! There's all kinds of people I could transform into. It's becoming increasingly clear exercising will be an aspect of it. I have increasingly wanted to become fit and get involved in some athletic activity which has never really been my thing. I also might dye my hair again but I don't know yet.

Those things are a little tame. I think most likely the archetype I want to transform into is something like "completely unhinged slightly alt manic cosplay girl and streamer"

This has roots in what i am and what I have experimented with in the past but I want the persona to consume me.

Way more fun than detransitioning into a loser boy.

[selenic-echoes]

I think there's something to be said about how a lot of the dysphoria I was having for a while seems to have been less about passing or looking like a girl and more about just being attractive in general or even just "looking like myself".

I think a combination of things had made me really dislike my appearance for a while, including being off hrt, particularly in how testosterone had given me acne and also because I didn't like how my hair looked. Doing skincare stuff and growing my hair out has made me feel way better looking in the mirror even if technically yeah I just look like a guy for the most part.

Does this mean I'd be comfortable being a femboy? I dunno maybe. I think part of why I'm more comfortable with myself is that I feel like I'm working towards looking more like a girl in the future so giving up on that would probably make me feel worse.

I guess I'm just saying I can find myself good looking as a feminine boy, I don't have to be a girl to like how I look.

[selenic-echoes]

So today went great actually for multiple reasons.

I got one of my letters of readiness for bottom surgery!!!

Also my chances of getting back on hrt as soon as I thought I would have gone up significantly, so I've got probably 2 weeks left of being off. I have been off hrt for 13 weeks so what's 2 more?