Authors note: I meant to put this in when i posted it hut work got in the way smh but !! This was my piece for the Teahouse collab, which you can find the other entries here !
Warnings: general warnings around breakups, thoughts/anxiety related to self image/self worth
Summary: You've sworn off love. After the way your last ex treated you, after all of the heartbreak, and all of the nights you lost to someone who didn't care, you have had enough. Or, that's what the plan had been. You wouldn't have guessed that a tiny fan server with less than ten members hid someone who made everything feel like all of that pain was worth it. And you, they'd do just about anything.
WC: 1.5k
You can tell that the little server is starting to wake for the night, by the sound of your notifications going off at a rapid pace. A smile crosses your face as you head over to your computer, double clicking on its icon that you had previously pinned to the taskbar.
One by one the messages loaded before your eyes, not that you had much time to read them before everyone was welcoming you back.
Nightowl was the first, as he quickly sent 'Hey hey hey! My fellow insomniac is here!'
'You two seriously need to fix your sleep schedules.' Was Onion's way of saying hi to you today.
'Hello to you too, Onion. I swear i'm trying my hardest' you type in response, before pausing and sending another message, 'Nightowl on the other hand…he's beyond saving.'
This earned an appearance from Quest, who came in to defend Nightowl on the low, 'Lets not gang up on the kid,'
'Thanks Quest, at least someone believes in me T-T'
You hummed to yourself, as another message made its way into the server. Though, this time it wasn't directed at you.
'Well if it isn't the ever so elusive Toaster.' Xyx's odd profile picture graced the chat room as he noted that Nakedtoaster was now active in the server.
'Wakey wakey Toast and shakey~' came Nightowl, quick to reference a story that Salo had told the group some few days ago.
'That again? How many times are you going to greet me with that, Owl?' You could practically hear the half-hearted exasperation through Toaster's message as if he was sitting right next to you.
'Is it better than Xyx always following up with "what's shakin bacon?" ' owl asked next, knowing full and well that Toaster really didn't mind either of the terms.
You took the slight lapse in the conversation to greet him yourself, 'good evening Toasty,'
'yeah yeah evening' he sends, then a short pause before another message from him loads, 'specifically good evening to you though.'
Another smile settles onto your features, as you reread his message.
From there the server seemed to find a good tempo in a happy conversation, talking about some bloomic fan-theory that June happened to come across just a few days prior.
You pull your attention away from the monitor for a moment to check your phone, swiping away the notifications displayed at the top of its screen. Outside of the server, you didn't have very many people to talk to. Sure, you had a few friends from work, and maybe one or two acquaintances that you made when you were still in school, but as life seemed to drag on, the less you heard from them. There was a point in time where you had a previous partner, and you had spent most of your free time with him.
And while things had started off nicely, they didn't end that way. He was controlling, you had to dress a certain way, speak a certain way, you had to take interest in the things he liked. The conversations were never about you. He would constantly criticize you, from the way you looked, to the way you'd write your As. By the time you finally managed to escape the guy, he had stripped you of who you were, or who you had been.
Your eyes glance to the date in the corner of your monitor. It had been nearly a year and a half since then. A year and a half of trying to fit cut up puzzle pieces together, in hopes that you'd get to see yourself again. Eighteen months of pushing yourself past your limits just to pick your hobbies and interests back up. Eighteen months of wondering if you could even go back to who you were before the guy.
A quiet ping from your computer broke you from your thoughts, and you looked to see a message from Toasty in the juicy gamers channel, one that only held Xyx, Toaster and yourself. Its purpose was supposed to be for Toaster and Xyx to talk about ffxiv, but by now it was just another chat room within the bloomic server.
As you clicked on the channel, you saw that it had been Nakedtoaster who pinged you, asking if you were alright, since you had gone quiet in the general chat.
'I'm alright! I was just thinking about something a little serious, I guess I got lost in my train of thought for a bit.'
You watched as it showed him typing, then a pause, then that he was typing again. Finally, he sent his message, 'wanna talk in the voice channel? You can share your thoughts with me if you'd like'
You pause for a moment. That would mean telling them about your ex. Not that you weren't ever open about your past with the server before. But, this was different. After breaking things off with your ex, you had promised yourself to do one thing; to swear off love, at least until you were ready to try again. You didn't want to rush into another relationship, only to doubt yourself again. You couldn't get stuck in another situation like that, especially if you weren't ready to put yourself first. And if you were being honest with yourself, you hardly had the words to explain that to someone else.
Yet, you found yourself joining Toaster's call, easily falling into the pattern that the two of you had made in your time in the server.
"You /still/ take forever to join calls," he smiles into his camera, slightly leaned forwards as they spoke into their mic.
You playfully roll your eyes at the comment, sighing as you did, "Not my fault /someone/ is so impatient,"
"Only because it's you,"
Your breath seems to hitch in your throat. Toaster said it so casually, that you almost missed how they actually meant it. You always seemed to misinterpret their words, everything he said always felt like it held more weight. And despite your vow to stay far away from relationships, you could never shake off the ever growing mix of anxiety and something that you didn't want to name that resided within your mind.
"Hey, you alright? I've called your name a few times now," Toasty is leaned back in his chair again, a worried look clear as day on his face.
You blink a few times, fighting off an awkward smile, mind racing to think of any excuse. When you couldn't form the words, Toaster let out a slow chuckle, as if he had understood your train of thought.
"I meant that as in…well." He paused, a heavy blush spreading across his face, "As in, I really enjoy talking with you and I'm impatient."
"But, only me?"
"Yeah. I wanted to say something earlier, but, I think I might have developed..uh..feelings for you."
The feeling was back. A confusing amount of dread, and content, like oil and water, refusing to mix but making themselves known aggressively.
"Toaster I-" you start, feeling your hands begin to shake, "I'm not…well…I don't want to outright say no or anything but..I'm not sure I'm ready for..well for that."
To your surprise, they let out another gentle laugh, nodding their head as they leaned back towards their mic, "I know,"
"Huh?"
"Well, I remembered awhile back that you mentioned a shitty ex, so I figured that this might be the case if I did confess…which is why I prepared myself." You watch as he fidgets with the short microphone stand, his eyes straying to something on his desk as he continued, "I'm not going to rush you. And I'm not going to make you tell me anything about your past relationship. I wanted to tell you that I like you, so that you know that I'm here, if you'll have me, whenever that may be."
You were stunned. Despite spending so much time with the Blooming Panic server, getting to know everyone, and letting them get to know this new, healing version of yourself, you had never stopped to think that any of them would actually take a deeper interest in you. Especially when you seemed to feel so lost in your own self worth and image, like looking into a mirror that was hastily glued back together. And yet they had. Nakedtoaster had looked at the same mirror, and decided that he wanted you.
You hardly notice a small stream of tears that fall from your face, as you speak, "You'd do that for me? You'd really wait?"
They lean back in their chair again, looking towards their camera with half lidded eyes, "I like you for who you are, and I know that. So, as long as I know that I want you, I'm okay with waiting."
He lets you sit for a moment, not commenting on your tears, or on the way you couldn't believe his words. Toasty was true to their words, they'd be okay with you taking your time, in this moment, and in the next. Something told you that you could trust him with that. Slowly, you let a smile make its way onto your face as you wipe away the uncertainty that had come from your eyes. Then, when you bring your attention back to them, they say one more thing.
WATCH IN HD ----------------------------------------------------------------------- HEY EVERYONE! I'm here but this time it's with my first collab! I really ...
Gathered around the room are your loved ones, eyes shimmering with an air of curiosity as you weave an intricate tale told by many. Your voice is full of passion, and your movements are fluid, easily drawing in your audience as your story continues...
Hello! I've come with a (hopefully) fun collab for content creators here on tumblr!! It will be an open collab for whoever would like to join! You don't have to be following me to join! I'd love to see what everyone comes up with!
The Basics
This collab is based around mythology, folklore, and cryptids of any kind! Headcanons, drabbles, short fics, and long fics are all okay! If you want to make art, poems, lock screens, or mood boards, those are welcome too! Any fandom is welcome!
Rules and other info
How do I join?
Send me an ask or dm with what character(s), what mythology/folklore/cryptid/other idea you have! I will add you to the list! If you want to use a specific blog that you arent messaging from, tell me that as well!
Sfw/Nfsw
The collab is open to either! However, you MUST use the correct tags, and warnings! All nsfw pieces must be for characters that are of age! Any dark content must be tagged with proper warnings!
Is there a deadline?
Nope! This will be an open ended collab! If you would like a soft deadline, I'll set one for February 28th! (Now that it's passed, and there isnt really a deadline, posts can be made whenever!)
If you have any other questions feel free to send me an ask or dm!
Masterlist
Links when posted
- Crash and Burn || Nanami x Reader | @/tsukkismoonlight
-Fairytales don’t always come true…||Draken X reader | @simplyplutoo
i’m hosting my first degrassi/skins collab on youtube and I would love to have you join!! it’s a character collab, meaning you pick one character and vid them to the part of your choosing. the deadline is feb 15th so you’d have plenty of time to work on your part :) if it’s of any interest to you or someone you know, just let me know via tumblr or leave a comment! looking forward to vidding with some of you!!
You find an old book, pages worn from generations of being read. As you open it, you find a multitude of different stories from many different worlds. Magic, sword fights, romance, villainy, all tales of great wonder. You grow curious at the sight, and continue to flip through its pages…
Hello hello ! I have decided to re-brand the collab that I attempted wayy back when I started this blog! This will be an open collab, so anyone can join! All you need to do is send me an ask with a character or an AU, and I will add you to this page, and use it as the masterlist !
Rules/Guidelines
First and foremost, this is open to any fandom, and any kind of posts. You can write a fic, create some art, poetry, aesthetic stuff, whatever fits your fancy!
Secondly, this collab is open for both SFW and NSFW themes, however, they all need to be properly tagged as such!
Third, there is no specific time or day that these need to be posted! When you do get around to posting, please use the tag #moonlightalternatives ! I will be using this tag for reblogs and reminders, so if you wouldn’t like to see these, you can also block the tag!!
And finally, please have fun ! I want this to be enjoyable! You can talk amongst your fellow writers, artists and anime/game/other fans or even talk with me!
Masterlist
☆ Jean Kirstein x Reader || College AU - tsukkismoonlight
☆ Eddie Munson x Reader || Rockstar AU @simplyplutoo
