more internalised multigenderphobia I think-
even though I think using both transmasc and transfem labels would fit me, the erasure of multigender people and people often using transmasc as synonymous with trans man and transfem synonymous with trans woman, I feel like I can't use transfem label. I know transmasc & transfem labels originate from non-binary community, and they original meaning is the direction one's transitioning too, but with the fact that labels' meaning a bit evolved, I feel like I can't use both labels even though I kinda transition/want to transition to both masculinity&femininity in some way. And kind of fear of being attacked by others doesn't help either. Even though I know my closest friends are supportive (or at least believe they are...), I'm a bit worried how would they react if I used the transfem label (because of being SETE [someone expected to estrogenize] /I'm not sure if I'm perisex or intersex (I'm suspecting something but can't check it for sure)/ + AFAB + socially imposed female).
Heya anon, I get it. It is pretty rare to see people use transmasc and transfem as not another binary or considering non binary people as the main users, so I understand why you'd feel that way, so did I. You absolutely can use the labels, them evolving doesnt negate their original meaning nor your personal interpretation of your gender journey through the labels. Transitioning towards both masculinity and femininity is a super valid reason to use transfem and transmasc label.
On the last bit, there is a lot of discourse going around, but that's inevitable unfortunately. My specific stance is that transfem and transmasc shouldnt be exclusive to a certain sex/agab/sig, because the idea that you're not "trans enough" unless you try and transition in a man-lite way doesnt sit right with me at all. It's entirely exorsexist and multigenderphobic, not to mention intersexist at its basis, so I am of the opinion that there's nothing wrong with being transfem or transmasc even if your experience isnt what people typically associate the label to.
I understand your fear a lot, I tend to dive too deep into these kinds of discussions but do understand that everyone has a different experience of gender and view of their journey, and that labels are just words we use to briefly and broadly communicate a meaning- they arent the end all be all of human experience, and before labels people described their gender in all types of "funky" ways, unconventional, bizzare and personal, it might help you to go look for some of those older descriptions to realize that your view of yourself hurts no one.
It is important to remember that that means transfems as a whole dont have necessarily the same experiences and so to listen to other people w different lives, so everyone gets support and help. It doesnt meant that you are wrong for feeling a certain way. That's a feeling that's sure to have been thrown towards every single trans person out there.
You're welcome to give @our-multitrans-experience a look too for some other perspectives. And as always, you are welcome in the askbox anytime you need anon.
