I want all 20 questions about your writing! I know you'll need a lot of time to answer them all, but I'm curious, and I was actually thinking about you while I was writing my answers, so... pretty please..!
[[ You thought of me? Really? I’m flattered, actually. I have a bunch of things that I’ve got to write replies for (including a thread with you), but since you asked I wanted to get to these as soon as possible. I can’t guarantee that my answers will be interesting, though. ;; ]]
1. As a writer, who is your biggest inspiration?
Unfortunately, I haven’t really read much lately. I love books, and I used to read constantly, but for some reason or another I just haven’t gotten to it these days. So rather than a favorite author, these days I get a lot of inspiration from the roleplayers that I see on my dashboard. I only follow muses when I feel a desire to interact with them, but sometimes, even if I don’t see an opportunity to do so, I continue to follow them because I love the way that they write. There are so many different styles and methods, and I feel a little bit inspired no matter what I’m reading.
2. Besides writing, what other creative outlets do you have?
Ah, well… I guess you could say that I draw. I’ve never considered myself very good at it, and it’s never been something that I took too seriously. I drew a lot more in middle school than I do now, though. Besides that… Music? I was in band throughout middle and high school, as well as chorus for about half of my middle school days. While I don’t play my intsrument anymore, I do sing a lot. It’s another thing that I don’t think I’m particularly good at, but I enjoy it a lot.
3. Does anyone in real life know about your RPing hobby and what, if anything, have they said about it?
I started roleplaying around the time that I was… 12? Maybe 13? And at the time, it was only with a very close friend of mine (or, well… She was a close friend at the time). You see, we made plans to create a comic together someday, and so we were constantly coming up with ideas for the plotlines and characters. Because neither of us were sure how to properly write down the entire scenario (and not just a little summary), we ended up roleplaying the events, be it in person, over the phone, or through IM. Looking back on it, I have no idea how I managed to roleplay in person or over the phone because people give me so much anxiety and I can’t pick up a phone without breaking into a cold sweat. Anyway, that ended when I moved away, and since then, as far as I’m aware there is no one that knows about my roleplaying hobby.
4. Have you always liked to write and at what age did you start?
Oh yes, I’ve always loved to write. Ever since I was little. From the moment I learned to write the alphabet I was constantly writing. I read a lot through school, and could always be found with a book. I used to have notebooks filled with stories that I would come up with at the top of my head. I guess you could say I started then, which was when I was around… 5? From there I just started writing even more. Once I hit middle school, it went from that to fan fiction, which I eventually stopped reading and writing altogether until here recently (though I only read now; I’ve seen blogs dedicated to making fun of bad fanfics and I do not want to end up on there—). Then it was mainly school assignments with a few short stories on the side, but by that point I had already started roleplaying, so I was really writing a lot more than I had before. I don’t think I’ve written a short story in a long time, though…
5 Have you considered writing professionally or do you have plans to?
I remember considering it briefly my freshman year of high school. I thought that it would be wonderful to write a book and have it published, but I quickly convinced myself that I did not have the talent or, being completely honest with myself, the drive to write a book and get it published. I do not have plans to pursue a writing career.
6. How do you find inspiration to write when you can't seem to find your muse?
Assuming that was supposed to be can’t, I’ll answer the question as such.
Honestly, I kind of just force myself to write until I’m burnt out. I know that it’s not the best answer and it’s definitely not something that I would recommend others to do. I think, since joing the KRP community, roleplaying has become more of a chore than a hobby to me, and that’s really bad. If I ever lost my muse, my replies would be a result of literary crap that I just threw out because I felt awful if I didn’t respond.
That’s happened to a lot of my now inactive muses. I got burnt out, and I couldn’t roleplay them anymore. Myungsoo was my first muse in KRP here on Tumblr, and surprisingly I have yet to lose my muse for him. There was the time where I took a break, but that was because the depressed state of Myung started to get to me personally and I had to take a break. I felt for him too much and it wore me out. I had no intentions of returning, but I have this awful habit of becoming overly attached to my muses. So far, I don’t think I regret returning.
7. How do you handle the toxicity sometimes found in the roleplaying community, particularly in fandoms?
I’ve never had to deal with it personally. When it involves my friends I support them, but otherwise I just ignore it all and do what I came here to do: roleplay.
8. How has roleplaying, specifically, impacted your life?
I feel like both good and bad has come out of roleplaying. I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot lately.
I guess I can start off with the good things. My writing has improved a lot since i started roleplaying, which is something that really matters to me. I remember seeing an old thread from a site that I used to roleplay on back when I first started, and there is such a difference. I’ve also had the opportunity of meeting so many amazing people, even if some of those people did not stay very long. It’s also helped me learn some things about others, about life, as well as about myself. I like having the ability to lose myself in the life of someone else for a while, especially since some things (especially here lately) are not going very well for me in real life. There are also times when I’ll suddenly have an idea for my muse, and it gets me so excited. If only I was the kind of person that felt comfortable pestering someone else about my ideas…
For the bad things… I think that I’ve been thinking about these the most. Because I started roleplaying at an early age, I feel like there is a lot more that I could have done, like roleplay has taken a lot of time that could have been spent doing other, more productive things. Especially now, as an adult. I could be doing things to work towards my future. A part of me feels like my time has been wasted, but at the same time, not exactly? I dunno, it’s complicated. I mentioned before that roleplaying feels like a chore. It’s not a consistant feeling, but I’ve definitely been feeling it more lately. I’ll be out doing something with my family, and in the back of my mind I’ll still be thinking about the replies I have to do, worrying about how long I’ll be gone because I have to get them done before I make someone angry.
I don’t know. There are pros and cons to everything, I suppose. This also applies here.
9. How has writing improved your life and do you see yourself sticking with it?
Writing has worked as a good outlet for me. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and I’m really bad when it comes to speaking my feelings. I don’t like to talk much, and so writing out my feelings, or writing out a scenario (in terms of roleplaying, or maybe just a small story) that seems happier helps me a lot. There have been several occasions where I’ve written letters—I guess rants, maybe—to get my feelings out in the open. At one point, I used to address those letters to Myungsoo (embarrassing, I know. Don’t laugh), and would just write out the events of the day as if I had the intention of sending them to him. I don’t really know how, but it helped.
It also works as a means to spend my time. I have too much free time as of late. If I didn’t write, I’d probably be sitting around all day staring at the walls.
10. How many muses do you have and which do you relate to most? Why?
I’ve had a lot of muses now that I think about it. At the moment, I’ve got two muses on Tumblr (one being Myung, and the other being slightly inactive due to my RP partner going through some things). I can relate to both muses on different aspects, but I would definitely say that between the two, I relate most with Myungsoo. We both have parts of our past that we want to disregard completely (though mine is not nearly as severe). We struggle in social situations, and in openly speaking how we feel. We both have a tendency to overthink situations (with a ridiculous amount of pessimism at that), and take others’ feelings into consideration before our own.
I would be lying if I said his personality was not inspired by my own. I know that’s not really something you’re supposed to do, but…
11. How much time a day would you say is devoted to your writing?
Here lately, probably not even 2 hours. It used to take up all of my time, but I’ve been feeling very emotionally unwell these days, and it’s taken a toll on my motivation to do anything, be it writing or just getting out of bed.
12. Is there a quote from a piece of literature that holds great value to you? What is it and why is it important to you?
This is probably going to sound really dumb, but I’m pretty sure anything that Tablo wrote would hold great value to me for personal reasons. His way with words seems to speak to me in a way that no other musician or writer has done before.
13. What advice can you give to someone who has just begun RPing on tumblr?
I think the most important thing is to have fun. Learn your muse, and just enjoy it. Once you stop enjoying it, don’t force yourself to continue.
14. What are your fears when it comes to writing online?
I think the thing that gets to me the most is just that there are people that can read what I write. It’s not much of a secret that I’m not confident in my writing. I’m very self conscious about possible typos, grammatical errors, or just a lack of writing skill.
15. What do you typically look for in a roleplay partner?
Mostly just someone that I can have a good time writing with. Chemistry between the muns as well as the muses. A certain level of “literacy,” as roleplayers put it these days, is also taken into consideration, because there have been instances where I could not understand a reply, and therefore didn’t know how to respond.
Nowadays, though, it seems to mostly revolve around whether they actually want to interact with my muse or not.
16. What inspired you to start writing?
I can’t name one thing in particular. One day I just picked up a pencil and started writing, and it’s been with me ever since.
17. What is your favorite genre to write?
I haven’t written many genres. In fact… Probably only one or two? I especially enjoy writing fantasy. I like having the power to create an entirely different world filled with creatures and objects that only I can come up with. I feel like my love for the Final Fantasy series also plays a big part in that but we won’t go there—
18. What made you want to join the roleplaying community?
I feel like it was done on a whim, honestly. I used to roleplay on Facebook, and I saw some of the fellow roleplayers talking about how they prefered it over Tumblr. It kind of got me curious, so I figured I would give it a shot. I’ve been here since.
19. What one piece of literature has been most inspirational/life changing for you? Why?
I really haven’t read a lot of books. I mean, I’ve read a lot, but my personal library mostly consists of manga isn’t very vast.The only one that comes to mind that’s inspired me is Tablo’s “Pieces of You.” Epik High has definitely played a big part in my life, and Tablo in particular, so when I found out he had a series of short stories I just had to read them all. The stories themselves held a lot of my interest, and even now I still enjoy reading them. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s something about the book that just makes me feel a little more human? That sounds dumb. Either way, the book is so so important to me. Reading it got me into writing again after a long slump.
20. Who are your top three favorite fictional characters and why?
I tried to come up with a reply for this one, but it was a lot harder than I anticipated it would be. Most of the characters that I've come to love are from movies or dramas, but there are so many of them that I was unable to pick just three.
