#munrants

[dividedbybinaries]

ooc; because im locked unto a bus for two hours; here's some small and not so small tidbits ive been thinking about when it comes to Binary

a), i think binary doesnt actually have any remaining eyeball gunk left on her damage aide of her face. been debating if it should actually be a fake glass eye that she could switch out if needed -- she just doesn't do so because it gets uncomfortable and she needs to constantly keep it clean. but she also doesn't want to have it completely empty, maybe only when she sleeps and sitting by her computer for like a day straight.

b), BIG TW YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED coming back to the abusive relationship between her and roy and how he'd keep a track of her health and taking control of her autonomy that way. which meant that, if he wanted to assure himself that she couldn't get pregnant, he would make sure she either kept herself on birth control or got her tubes tied. the latter would mean she would never be able to have children and probably make her feel even more isolated and festering w revenge maybe she'd give him a vasectomy in return : )

thanks for coming to my ted talk

[bounty-hunter-amara]

-casually drawing Amara's planned SSJ forms-

....her hair just keeps getting longer and wilder with every form.....

[dividedbybinaries]

ooc;

been thinking about the abuse that bianca endured from roy - there was certainly a lot of physical trauma involved but i haven't really explored the mental/spiritual torment she endured during her grandtech years.

roy tried to control literally every aspect of her life --; who she saw, who she spent her time with, if she dated anyone, set her up with doctors that he essentially 'owned'.

at first, it began really small. asking how she was doing, if she needed anything, to starting to demand she'd tell him what she was up to pretty much daily until she wouldn't be let go from his line of sight.

i think she was essentially groomed into believing he wanted what was best for her, and she let him take that control at first. she was young, scared and naive -- then to break free from it.

its kinda interesting how in bianca's story, everything keeps going back to control over others and taking back control of one self.

[dividedbybinaries]

ooc; have you considered the fact that binary is all about bi's ?

bilingual? check

bisexual? check

bitch? absolutely

[dividedbybinaries]

ooc;

debating on adding two more verses; one with a superpower au ; where Binary has the ability to teleport through bluetooth devices (inspired by her mha version)

the past au; one that takes place before shit hits the fan at GrandTech and she's just an executive assistant trying to do the best with what life has dealt her

superpower would be fun, not so sure about the other and how interesting it would be for others to write with

[dividedbybinaries]

ooc;

im gonna try to get to drafts because my brain needs to disconnect from the shitty workday but also if i dont end up posting anything at all you guys can just assume i died (inside)

ive been having a few really good days but ig its time to be miserable again, thank you my neurodivergent brain

[dividedbybinaries]

ooc; i need to draw more comics of binary, i think that's what i need to do -

[poppyknitt]

I hate having anxiety, depression, AND adhd all at once

It’s like

The unholy trinity of the worst fucking things to deal with(especially growing up in a small, mostly white community that exists in the south, because lord only knows how fucking little my fellow southern americans really and truly understand of how this shit fucking works and how badly your brain is fucked)

Like hello brain can you please stop screaming about the birds that flew by the window ten fucking minutes ago for one fucking second while i try to finish this homework i have on the day it’s due because my anxiety makes me fear failure but my depression tells me that if i just hide away in my room and do nothing all day then everything will be just fucking fine

Because depression says

“Fuck this shit, you have all the fucking time in the world. Go procrastinate so you can hate yourself some more.”

While Anxiety says

“nONONONONO DO NOT DO THAT OR THIS OR ANYTHING BECAUSE IT MIGHT KILL YOU OR THROW YOUR LIFE DOWN THE DRAIN”

And at the same time, your ADHD is just screaming about some random bullshit that popped into your mind half a second ago and now you can’t fucking think because your brain is screaming about 500 different things at once

Soooo to sum it up...

I have anxiety by some random fucking ironic coincidence of unholy black magic shit or something because I’m the only person in my family to have anxiety by genetics and no one in my immediately family(that i know of) even had it before i was born

And I have ADHD because said anxiety deprived child me of child things because i was constantly terrified i was gonna die

And oH BOY GUESS WHAT INDIRECTLY CAUSED MY DEPRESSION

(you win ten points if you guessed adhd)

Oops sorry i went off on a rant...

It’s like almost 1130pm tho and i cant sleep so like what the fuck else do i do