#tw;abuse

[dividedbybinaries]

ooc; testing testing if tumblr blocks just this

(NSFW WARNING UNDER THE CUT, MINORS DNI)

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Well, I don't have particularly coherent thoughts to discuss yet.

But I keep thinking, almost on a loop, about Hayley telling Teddy she "loves" him. Because it makes me think of how Gaynor, Teddy's mum, emotionally abused him in the guise of "loving" him.

And that makes me think about how love must be almost synonymous with abuse in Teddy's head. How horribly entwined the two concepts would be for him. It's incredibly, incredibly sad.

[twistinghearts]

Gang AU; Leona Kingscholar

This was inspired by @yandere-wishes​ [Idia Gang AU]

Content warning for violence; blood and overall abusive and dark themes. 

The territory of Heartsbyule held its control and got its money by putting unrealistically strict rules in place. Break a rule? That’s a fine. Can’t pay? You broke a rule so we’ll have to break something on you instead. It’s only fair right. And when people started following the rules to well they’d change without notice. Tonight was one of those times. A sudden enacted curfew required you to suddenly shut down your shop and be within your home in 30 minutes; an incredibly difficult task when you lived a 20 minute walk from home. “I think I took a left somewhere I should I have gone right…” you whispered to yourself as you glanced around the unfamiliar set-up. Maybe taking side streets to prevent getting caught wasn’t the best idea. Getting lost in itself was stressful the fact you were running out of time only pushing you closer to panicking. Still you trudged on without much of a choice.

Nothing became familiar; your surroundings just became more and more confusing. You were way past the time limit, and now the sun was starting to set. You tried not to think about the worst but your fears became a reality when you heard a sharp cat whistle, “What’cha doing here herbivore?” “Come to be our snack?” Two distinct voices called out to you. You froze for just a moment as the reality sunk in. You had wandered into Savannahclaw territory, the roughest and most impoverished of all the areas. This place was heavy on brute force even to those living within its limits; if you were an unwelcome guest it’s nary impossible to come out unscathed at the very least. Despite the warm air you felt a chill run down your spine. You took a deep breath and started running as fast as you could. The thugs followed, close on your trail, chasing you deeper into their territory. You kept running, not caring where as long as it was away from them, but every time you turned a corner another one appeared, blocking your exit, keeping you on a specific path. “Help me! Someone!” You knew it was a trap, that there was no way out but there was no way you were going to give up either. Your eyes darted around as you looked for any escape you could take and other way you could go. Suddenly you collided with something, no someone you realized as their hands squeezed around your wrists. “Don’t worry. I’ll save you.” You looked forward to meet the gaze of the rugged individual, piercing green eyes with a scar on one side and matte knotted hair. Your eyes widened in another rush of fear and you realized who caught you. Leona Kingscholar the leader of the Savannahclaw gang.

You pulled against him trying to break free, but his grip only became tighter, his nails digging into your skin. “Let go! Let go!” You screamed, the tears you had been fighting back finally spilling over. Full on panicking and full of adrenaline you attempted to go for a kick but at that exact moment his hands released and you dropped, colliding against the floor, your skull bouncing against the hard ground.  Things went hazy for a bit, but you swore you heard laughing. As your daze cleared you sped up your movement trying to scramble away but you were stopped by his foot pushing down and pinning you to the floor. You squirmed, trying uselessly to drag yourself away. “Stop squirming.” Leona growled, applying more pressure to his heel letting it dig into your ribs. You let out a blood curdling scream from the sudden pain as it pulsed throughout your body leaving you momentarily numb. The foot on your chest adjusted, it was more evenly distributed now but there was an increase of pressure as he leaned down to look at you. You wanted to scream again but couldn’t find the air in your lungs. “You’re not from around here that’s for sure. By the look of your clothes you’re from Heartsbyule. Why are you here?” “Lo.. I-ngh..” After letting all that air out, running and the foot on your chest it was getting very hard to breath, let alone talk. The pressure relieved slightly for a moment for you to answer. “L-lo..st” You managed to gasp after taking a few deep breaths to help. Unfortunately once you gave your answer he stomped his foot back down, forcing another cry of pain out.  “Lost? Ha!” He tilted his head back and laughed. “You’re either lying or really pathetic. Either way it doesn’t really matter.” This was it! He was going to kill you! You started squirming and clawing again trying to get free. It couldn’t end like this!

There was a sharp pain in your stomach as the tip of Leona’s shoe dug into your gut, the force of the kick rolling your back a few feet. You coughed up your spit some of your drink from earlier, as you tried to catch your breath. Weakly you curled up trying to alleviate some of the pain in your stomach.

Leona laughed again, as he slowly walked closer pleased at how each step made you twitch in fear. “You’re just like a pill bug. Thinking rolling up into its shell will protect it, but to me you’re just as easy to squish.” You closed your eyes expecting another kick but instead you felt his hand tightly grip your jaw preventing you from speaking, not like you had the energy too. He pulled your head closer and his eyes met with yours and twisted smirk on his lips, “Let’s hope they’re willing to pay our high price for you, otherwise…” He trailed off to give a rough nip to your cheek drawing a small amount of blood where his fangs were, “You’ll be a tasty snack.”

[franks-dirty-blade]

『𝕭𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖈 𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌/𝕽𝖊𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖉𝖊𝖗』 --

Frank is a VIOLENT SOCIOPATH. He(’s) -- 

Manipulative and Conning He almost never recognizes the rights of others and sees his self-serving behaviors as permissible. He appears to be charming, yet is covertly hostile and domineering, seeing his victims as merely an instrument to be used. Taking some minor form of joy in dominating and humiliating his victims.

Has a Grandiose Sense of Self He feels entitled to certain things as "His right."

Is a Pathological Liar Frank has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for him to be truthful on a consistent basis.

Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at his core. He lacks the ability to see others around him as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Only ever feeling one moment of remorse towards murdering his Legion. Even then, the feeling is only compounded by the Entity’s involvements and not by his own mentality. 

Shallow Emotions When he shows what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since Frank is not genuine, neither are his promises. Only keeping them when it suits or benefits him most.

Incapacity for genuine Love There are minor exceptions to this. Being his Legion. But even then, most genuine feelings are either forced or not completely understood. Taking quite a sizable impact for him to even come close to saying or considering something as ‘love’.  

Need for Stimulation Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts,thieving, violence and physical punishments are normal for him as well as promiscuity. 

Callousness/Lack of Empathy Unable to empathize with the pain of his victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them. Even enjoying it in various ways.

Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature Frank’s mind is a loose canon with a short fuse. Easy to set off, difficult to cool down or even evade and impossible to predict. Constantly flip flopping his emotions and reactions. Never being able to stay constant for far too long before changing again. In a constant battle of conflicting emotions with little to no care for the way it impacts the people or person he’s directing it towards.

However -- Over the many years Frank spent with his Legion, his natural thoughts and tendencies slowly began to shift. Becoming slightly less violent and abrasive towards them. Even developing something close to feelings for the various members. Though, where the scale tipped for one side. It did for the other. Causing him to become more brutal and aggressive to those he doesn’t know. Taking out what he couldn’t on his Legion, on his survivors. 

[fxithrush]

’ ･ﾟ :🌹 : ･. FAITH'S INTRODUCTION .･: 🌹 :･ﾟ ’

⌠ madison beer, 22, cisfemale, she/her ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, FAITH RUSH! according to their records, they’re a THIRD year, specializing in SEDUCTION + DRIVER’S ED ; and they did not go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of crop tops and large jackets, hickeys on her neck and collarbone, bad dreams at night and lipstick smudges in the morning . when it’s the LEO’s birthday on 07/04/1997, they always request their WAFFLES WITH VANILLA ICE CREAM AND STRAWBERRIES from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ sarah, 20, she/her, gmt+1 ⍀

PAST

Faith grew up in a extremely wealthy family and has always been really spoiled in general.

However since her family’s way of dealing with everything has always been financially, she didn’t really get any love either. Anytime she had any personal issues her mother never really any advice or listened and that’s why she’s extremely closed up about any of her issues and has the constant belief that no one really wants to bother with her problems.

So to protest, Faith had always been seeking thrill and if not that, the approval from others. Although her ways to get them were a little questionable considering she started partying at a pretty young age and got into all sorts of trouble from the get go, just in order to get a reaction from her parents for once but they managed to not care anyway, instead putting all the issues on her Nanny, Karen

So of course, anything that she said didn’t go through to the female who was sneaking out every night so far just to find a way to please herself and distract herself from the emptiness her parents left her with

TW;THEFT AND ALCOHOL So she quickly found another way to help herself with, love. There was this one guy who made her feel all the things her parents didn’t, and more and she was completely blind of everything that quickly moving relationship entailed. To a point where she couldn’t see that robbing stores for liquor despite having the money to purchase it was wrong, that speeding on motorbikes in the middle of the night drunk was wrong but it was what made her feel alive.

TW; ABUSE However, her idea of the fairy tale quickly faltered when her boyfriend came home drunk at one point, wanting her to come along but she wasn’t in the mood so they got into a pretty bad fight, one that ended with her having a couple bruises. As one might think, she didn’t immediately break up with him because she was scared of what else might come and especially because she had no one else to talk to besides her Nanny

She did have close friends in high school but she always kept up the queen b demeanor, not wanting anyone to see her suffer to keep her status the same because that was one of the things that did also genuinely affect her happiness, so they of course only heard the good sides of her relationship

Of course, it didn’t stop with a few bruises, now he seemed to get mad at every little mistake to a point where the female was even scared to make breakfast in case she’d accidentally drop something

Which, of course happened at one point so she was met with her first actual punch and as someone who had little to no clue of defending herself, she ended up unconscious on the kitchen floor

To her luck, her parents were on business trips during that time and didn’t know of anything that was going on, just figuring she and Karen were living as they were supposed to

TW; STABBING / INJURY Her Nanny could definitely sense that something was wrong, however never really actually saw it up until that one night when Faith took all her built up sorrow and anger together and tried to break up with her boyfriend which resulted in him attempting to kill her but luckily she got away fast enough and drove herself into the ER

So that’s when she had to be in the hospital for a while, instead telling her friends that she was in Cali for a few weeks 

Of course, she had nowhere to go after she was healed again and she didn’t want to get involved with the police or anything because she was scared he’d turn it around and mention the drugs that he hid at her place at the moment

So she did whatever she thought was more reasonable at that time, and knew was going to work, she took a large sum of money and bribed him to leave the city 

So of course she had to fight with a lot of inner demons at that time so her ways of drinking and so on haven’t even remotely stopped and now with immense trust issues, Faith never really gave in to a relationship again, more so hooking up with people all over the place but never more than once to ensure that something like that would never happen again

Of course she still lived in a state of fear knowing that the male had every opportunity to come back and demand more cash but she figured that he was scared of having her go to the police about it now

When she was 20, her parents had already not been home for an entirety of two years, just living their life in god knows where which Faith honestly was content with by the time, just having bonded with her Nanny by then and trying to go through everything day by day

Just at one night, where she was pretty lonely at night she figured she’d do some research about her parents considering they were known people and she figured there had to be some news about them and that’s where she encountered Gallagher, more so an article about how this girl who joined it found a loved one through her special spy skills 

Which made her delve into it more, finding it the perfect place to go under in case her Ex felt like returning, not to mention the ways she could defend herself with and potentially take revenge -- not like she was missing the confidence to do so ever, just the means

PRESENT

Faith is now in her third year, having chosen seduction and Drivers ed because that was partially what she was most comfortable with considering her alluring personality and a way to get out of anything fast if things got risky

Faith pretty much disappeared from the public eye as much as possible, refraining from telling too much from her or getting into any close relationships and stuff in case someone was going to tell

So she’s extremely secretive and somewhat paranoid, keeping everyone at a distance as much as necessary to keep herself as safe as possible

However, that doesn’t mean that she’s shy at all, if anything she’s super out there uttering her opinion and spitting out her truths whenever someone does her wrong

She is scarily confident for someone who’s been through so much, always known to get what she wants whenever she wants, ready to eat up anyone who says otherwise

She’s extremely bitchy around males for obvious reasons but will manipulate them and shape them to her enjoyment whenever possible, not really caring about anyone else’s feelings besides her own

LITTLE QUIRKS

she has trouble sleeping alone, hence why she bothers friends to come over a lot or has a random hook up just to have someone besides her; hence why she was excited for a roommate 

Has a lip tattoo on the inside saying ‘ honey ‘ much like Madison herself

Loves driving and loves big bulky, expensive cars

Basically loves everything expensive, like she is still spoiled since day 1

Does always have a knife strapped around her thigh, just in case

Back when she just got better, she couldn’t do any hard work outs so she started off with yoga which made her feel so much better and while scrolling through instagram for more poses, she found pole dancing videos which peaked her interest tremendously so she had one installed in her living room and has been practicing ever since so she’s pretty much a professional by now

LOVES CATS AND DOGS EQUALLY

loves fashion a lot and is definitely going to have extra ass spy outfits just to feel really good while studying or practicing newly taught things

[sleepytrolls]

R to Restart (Part 2)

[Part 2]

[Part 1]

Art by @hornedpandeiros

TW: Violence, Religious themes,Abuse, Drug use

Tight in your hands, tight in your throat. Tight on her throat. In your hands full and soft, blue and purple bruised between her neck and your fingertips. You and her, just a bruise on the both of you.  Mirrors fragmented with memories, shattered, glittering damning and dangerous. It felt the same, the bite, the boil, the burn and the cold tears that rained onto your hand. The music played, the same song, the same dance. Bared half, her face, her soul, her walls and emotions. Still barred off until it was gone. All you had to do was get it off again. The mask, the cursed and screeched, feathered and holy. Your hands tightened more, the gasps stopped. How long would you have to hold til it stopped, the little tick of her music. Deep and pulsing, fast and racing. You wanted it to stop, it needed to stop. It wouldn’t quit playing back again and again in your head. Choking your throat as much as hers, the acid in your stomach bit. You wanted to make her restart, you should have restarted  her that day. Made her new, made her yours.

You weren’t that cruel though.

____________________________

1247 NE Nectar St,

Miami, Alternia 33139

April 25th, Decadence.

Cigarette stained white, unforgiving and  weathered. Ugly walls, closed in small, safe.  They had eyes had seen each fight, heard every word. Now they felt her body again, different from when teeth clicked and lips meet in a need of one another.  A line had been drawn, a line had been snorted, a line had been crossed.  Blue and purple ran together. Always together, never apart. You didn’t want to be alone. Purple from your nose, blue from her eyes. Fangs ripped at your lip influencing the  buzz in your head that wouldn’t let you feel it until more til teeth brought more blood, ripped and sharp.  

Richard squawked, half on half off. Furious clucks, snippy remarks. They were washed out, and you were drifting at sea. Clouded with the haze of drugs and her eyes were like the sea. The sea that was beautiful, that was raging and fierce. That crashed and fought with you. You loved them, you could stare into them all day. She never wanted you to.

Never direct, never on you. Always darting, always dull. Did she not want you? Why did she keep you? Was she bored? Had the picture finally come apart and the colors fade? Were you faded? All the pieces weren’t fitting together, or maybe you just didn’t like how it looked. Flames licked the edge. The drip from your nose said the answers to all of it. You knew you had a problem, something that had never been an issue until recent. Powder dusted your table, your money, your face. Her face. She was so pretty when she’d lick it from her fingers, when her head tilted back and the glow of the tv caressed her features. Sharp, dark, radiant, finally winding, finally breathing. Was she even alive? You wanted to lick them too. Your tongue flicked out to lick the blood off of her lip and you pulled back to bare your teeth and scream.

The dull thud from the ceiling reminded you of where you were, where your hands were.

It was a low neighborhood. Reds and browns for the most part, more often than not they avoided you until you stopped sharing your color. Hidden, whispers  let you know that your neighbors knew. They must’ve been hiding again. Fear of what you did, what she did. How it would end if both decided enough was enough. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was her and this little apartment and the coke on the table. It was all yours too, yours, yours, yours. So holy and sweet.

Why would she not look at you? You just wanted her to look at you.

The refusal boiled the blood, you would make her if you had to. Your grasp on her throat let up and you ripped the mask off. She looked so good in blue, but she looked better in purple. She looked better with you. You wished she wear it. That she’d show it to the world. That she’d just be yours. At least you’d have her like this.  Glazed like sugar your color coated her eyes and the pupils came in contact with yours. You could stare into them forever. You felt her chest heave and you pressed a small kiss to her lips.

You loved her, you loved the rush she gave you. She loved you didn’t she? You pressed your forehead to hers.

“I love you.”

She would never say them, but she wouldn’t leave you tonight.

Not the first time, not the last time you would fight and she would forget it after. It was a nice night like that, it was simple after that. Dinner, and tv and then sleep. The more tired you got, the weaker the ties between you and her became. She never left you. You didn’t think she could. She just laid there tucked into your arms more often than not till she passed out too. You wondered if the fighting made her tired too. Tucking your face into her hair you breathed her in, she was life itself. She smelled like strawberries and cigarettes.

Pain flourished, it bloomed like roses on your jaw. Purple splattered your eyes and you only got to glance up in your haze to see her there. Goddess, powerful and blazing above you. Her bat was in her hands. Then the world went dark again once her judgement had rained down.

Light and heat, heat and light. Radiance rained and it burnt your eyes like the smoke burnt your lungs. The world moved slow, there was no way to sit up quick with the way your head swam. The ocean could only save you now, there was no air to give or take. Only smoke, only aching.  A leap came into your throat lead by your heart and your brain rushed and swelled. Where was she?  Your arms were empty, tied tight to the bed. A kiss from the flame licked at your hands, scorching them with their want. The same want you had once.  It hurt, but it didn’t hurt as much as the realization. It made your chest cave. Rib snapped just like the ropes snapped from the flames. Wood beams could fall, flames could bite and the ache in your jaw could ring as you screamed. Nothing hurt more than what she had done.

She had set both of your worlds on fire.

She was gone.

[magicinmoxie]

It was horrifying, to see something so beautiful worn down like this. I’d brought in so many of them, with huge scars marring their pale skin and fear shining in their hollowed eyes. I could imagine, sometimes, in the ghosts that haunted the taut skin stretched across their cheekbones, what they would have been like before all this. They would have been flawless, their bodies perfect and untouched, unmarked. They would have been beautiful.

excerpt from a book I’m writing

[hold-on-etta-blog]

Andy&Etta// Triggering

Closed Starter @of-truth-and-lies

It had only been three days since arriving at the shelter. The whole thing was strange– leaving this perception of altered reality. She was finally away from Caleb and his house of horrors. There were times when she felt like could finally breathe without being critiqued but every once a while she slipped back into hyper-awareness as the smallest noise would make her jump out of her skin. One of the catches about the shelter was required counseling. It seemed a small price to pay, but Etta was beyond hesitant. Given her ex-abuser had once been her therapist until lines were crossed and they turned into something more. Still, she had no regrets pulling that flyer down in a dodgy diner just outside Pensacola–it felt like divine intervention.

Looking over at the community room she eased off the couch and walked down the hall stopping at Mr. Rollins door before gently knocking. Honestly, she hoped he wouldn’t answer and she could go back to reading a book. The door opened at her eyes fell to his feet immediately. Bruises still marred her face which was why she kept her distance from mirrors for the last several days with the exception upon dressing for the day. Uttering a soft-spoken greeting entering the room, “Hello.” Stil in an insurmountable amount of pain she eased down slowly on the chair. The staff kept asking if she’d like to go to the hospital but she refused. The only insurance coverage she had was Caleb’s and the last thing she wanted was him to know where she was. 

The last meeting with the therapist was awkward and he was left to do most of the talking. Etta clammed up but wanted to make an effort to try and get something out today. Letting her eyes drift to his desk she tried to excuse her behavior from their previous visit. “I’m sorry. It’s nothing against you...it’s just that my ex-fiance–the man I’m running from was my therapist at one point.” Unknowingly her hands balled into tight fists before she went on; still unable to look the man in the eye. “So sitting here with you makes me feel not safe.”