Third pic in top row is a requirement for every Nevada household; if you don’t have a wooden sign in the shape of Nevada (preferably one that also says ‘HOME MEANS NEVADA’) you may as well be banished to *gasp* California
Random HC that Nevada is the kind of person who is super fun to hang out with and is generally really charming and witty, but will also randomly just say the dumbest shit out of the blue. He’ll start rambling about some random conspiracy theory, like how all birds are actually just government drones, that Abraham Lincoln wasn’t assassinated; he just time traveled to 1963 and became JFK, that Finland isn’t real, or that chemtrails are just alien farts or smth, and he’s so convincing about it that you *almost* start to believe him. (But then you realize that you’re just super drunk and he’s talking out of his ass)
Random headcanon that Nevada refuses to acknowledge Boundary Peak as his tallest mountain because half of it is in California and considered a “sub peak” of a taller mountain. Instead he claims it’s Wheeler Peak, which is entirely in Nevada.
From ye olde Wikipedia:
“While it is the highest point in Nevada, the considerably taller Montgomery Peak (13,441 feet or 4,097 metres) is less than 1 mi (1.6 km) away, across the state line in California. By most definitions Boundary Peak, which has a prominence of only 253 ft (77 m), is considered to be a sub-peak of Montgomery Peak.
Boundary Peak is only 82 feet (25 m) taller than Wheeler Peak, which is located in Great Basin National Park, White Pine County in eastern Nevada. By most definitions, Wheeler Peak is the tallest independent mountain within Nevada.”
Nevada seems like a petty enough person to give up 82 feet of elevation just so he doesn’t have to share (yet another thing) with California.
Oooo, you have Jefferson hcs? I'd love to hear them if you're comfortable with that (not forced)
I definitely haven’t thought about this too much /s
TL;DR I feel like he’d be a great one-off character for the Table purely for comedic value. Dude is pathetic and his antics and attempts to convince others of his legitimate (totally legitimate, he swears) statehood would be hilarious.
Some art and HCs under the cut.
@freshwolfhell has lots of good Jeff HCs as well! A lot of these are the results of our discussions!
TW Discussion of weed (ofc) and other drugs
I forgot if I posted this one or not; again, credit to @freshwolfhell for inspiring this silly comic.
-As the comic above implies, Jeff is sometimes the definition of political “horseshoe theory”; coming to agree with certain progressive/liberal values not because he understands them or agrees with them, but for his own completely unhinged reasons.
-Dude smokes so much weed. He’s just constantly surrounded by a haze. He also struggles with addictions to some harder drugs.
-He’s a hardcore conspiracy theorist. There aren’t many conspiracy theories he DOESN’T believe in, even ones that seemingly contradict each other.
-He lives in an RV deep in the forest. The RV is covered in moss and hasn’t been moved in at least 20 years. It’s at the end of a dirt road that’s impassable when it rains. He rarely leaves, but when he does, he drives an old beat up Subaru with a hundred somewhat contradictory political bumper stickers.
-He managed to rig up a setup for TV and shitty internet, but he’s very much stuck in the past technology-wise. He still rents DVDs and listens to the radio. His favorite pastime is listening to true crime or conspiracy podcasts, and/or watching news stories about how much California sucks.
-He may or may not frequently get mistaken for some type of cryptid.
-He used to work in the logging industry and he feels a lot of resentment at California and the “environmentalists,” who, in his opinion, ruined his life by lobbying against the industry, leading to the downfall of so many of “his” towns and plunging him into poverty. He’s extremely bitter about this, as well as every other wrong (imagined or real) committed by California and Oregon against him. (Just like California) He keeps receipts. He writes down everything in a journal, and takes it with him everywhere.
-He lets his resentment and anger control him. Instead of trying to better his own situation or trying to get along with others, he places the blame for his own failures on everyone else.
-A lot of his resentment and anger is (perhaps misplaced) jealousy. Of California. Of the other cities and regions of California who have (in his mind) everything he never had. Of the other states, who are recognized as such and the honor that brings. Of course he’d never admit this.
-He’s convinced in his own mind that he’s a real state, and has been for decades, and that everyone else is actively conspiring to hide that fact.
-In an attempt to to gain support, he’s gone to the other “misfits” in the nation like Puerto Rico, Hawai’i, and Maryland. Each attempt has backfired spectacularly, as he’s not exactly culturally or racially aware, and ended up saying some offensive shit to them.
-He tries to call both California and Oregon every Thursday to remind them that he’s a state, but they’ve long since blocked him on every form of communication. So he’s gone back to writing letters. They’re long-winded, filled with spelling errors, and list (in great detail) every grievance that Jeff has with both of them. He never gets a response, but he continues to send them.
-He also writes letters to various other California and Oregon cities— nasty, threatening letters if he hates them (San Francisco) or vague attempts to make friends if he likes/admires them (Bakersfield).
-He has a whole ass arsenal of guns. He is absolutely NOT a responsible gun owner. He should probably not be trusted with any type of weapon, not even a kitchen knife.
-He’s a self-proclaimed “survivalist.” He knows how to forage for food and he does eat a lot of wild blackberries and fish he caught himself. However, all the ramen and candy he eats on a regular basis might be hard to find during the apocalypse…
In conclusion, he (not California, as he claims) is his own worst enemy. He lets his legitimate feelings of betrayal and isolation burn out of control and rule his life. He’s lonely and bitter and he’s constantly seeking the kind of validation he never receives.
Also, here’s a playlist for this asshole. Mostly just vibes.
Sometimes I think about WTTT California in the juxtaposition of the lyrics in these two otherwise unrelated songs.
Idk what to do with this brainworm and I don’t have the bandwidth to expand on it right now, but it’s Saturday night and I have to get my mind off of Things so…here ya go.
Lowkey inspired by @sleepdeprivedsimp234's song lyrics posts I decided to let my instincts win and put together a post full of song lyrics that are Calivada-coded to me. (Since the latest episode got me fully back on my Calivada bullshit. You could say they took a high-speed rail straight into my heart. )
The songs are roughly in order with how I picture the progression of their relationship. It starts with the early days of the Gold and Silver rushes and the Wild West, marked with periods of stormy and reckless whirlwind romance. Then it progresses into the early 20th century, with them growing apart, and yet together: Nevada finding his identity in casinos and sin, and California giving into the hedonism of Hollywood. Somewhere along the line, they became on-and-off again FWB, coming together when they're drunk, or lonely, or hopeless... or all of the above, locked in a frankly toxic and tumultuous co-dependent relationship. Not quite enemies, not quite lovers, definitely not friends... (or so they'll say).
Just... them. Anyway...
A bunch of these have been compiled from suggestions from various people over the past year-ish and some are just my shitty millennial taste in mid-2000s pop rock.
Link to actual playlist here
PART 1: "We're meant to be together like silver and gold"
California and Nevada meet for the first time. There's an immediate attraction to each other-- is it really love or is it simply a lust for the sparkle of silver and gold? Either way, it's a force of nature when they come together.
Silver and Gold- Parade of Lights (Cali's perspective)
Can you let me in if I take you home? / I'm never giving up 'cause I can't let go / I feel it in the air, feel it in my bones / We're meant to be together like silver and gold
Silver Stallion- The Highwaymen (Cali's perspective)
I'm gonna find me a reckless woman / Razor blades and dice in her eyes / Just a touch of sadness in her fingers / Thunder and lightning in her thighs
And we're gonna ride / We're gonna ride / Ride like the one eyed jack of diamonds with the devil close behind / We're gonna ride
Reckless Love- Bleachers (Nevada's perspective)
So give me a chance to remember / What I've given up to defend ya / I would burn my dreams away / Just to stand in the thankless shadows of your reckless love
gold rush- Taylor Swift (Nevada's perspective)
What must it be like / To grow up that beautiful? / With your hair falling into place like dominos / I see me padding 'cross your wooden floors / With my [49ers] t-shirt hanging from the door / At dinner parties / I call you out on your contrarian shit / And the coastal town
We wandered 'round had never / Seen a love as pure as it / And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea / 'Cause you know it could never be
Stardust- MIKA (Nevada's perspective)
I could put a little stardust in your eyes / Put a little sunshine in your life / Give me a little hope that you'll feel the same
And I wanna know if I'll see you again / See you again
Funny how the time is rushing by / And all the little things we leave behind / But even then, in everything I do / Is a little bit of me, a little bit of you / When will I see you again?
Addict- Silva Hound (I think this is from Hazbin Hotel lmao) (Nevada's perspective)
So what if I misbehave? It's what everybody craves / You already know / So come if you're feeling brave / And fancy yourself a mate
You want it, I got it, see what you like? / We could have it all by the end of the night / Your money and power, my sinful delight / A hit of that heaven and hell, a hell of a high
PART 2: "We are brief summer lightning (we are sparks that spiral upwards in the darkness in the night)"
As they spend more time together, their affection for each other grows. They'll deny that they were ever in love, but the history between them doesn't lie.
Wild as You- Cody Johnson (Cali's perspective)
You're like wakin' in the morning by a mountain stream / You're like watchin' an eagle floating on the breeze / And as I listen to you dreaming by my side / I wish I could call you mine
But you belong where the four winds blow / Out where the untamed mustang roam / Like a sweet summer rain passin' through / Never seen anything wild as you
Hymn for the Weekend- Coldplay (Cali's perspective)
Oh, angel sent from up above / You know you make my world light up / When I was down, when I was hurt / You came to lift me up / Life is a drink and love's a drug / Oh, now I think I must be miles up / When I was a river, dried up / You came to rain a flood
We are brief as summer lightning / We are swift as swallow's flight // We are sparks that spiral upward in the darkness in the night / We are frost upon a window / We won't pass this way again / In the end only love remains
Peaceful Easy Feeling- The Eagles (Cali's perspective)
I like the way your sparkling earrings lay against your skin so brown / I wanna sleep with you in the desert tonight / With a billion stars all around
Death Valley Queen- Flogging Molly (Nevada's perspective)
Death valley queen where have you been? / Since they crowned you in glory / Filled your head with dreams / But it still goes to show in every desert / There's a rose that's bloomin' for all to be seen
House of Memories- Panic! At the Disco (Nevada's perspective)
Those thoughts of past lovers, they'll always haunt me / I wish I could believe you'd never wrong me / Then will you remember me in the same way as I remember you?
Baby, we built this house on memories / Take my picture now, shake it 'til you see it / And when your fantasies become your legacy Promise me a place / In your house of memories
Joy Ride- The Killers
(I showed enough restraint to wait until ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE to include a Killers song. Y'all should be proud /s )
It's gettin' close to sundown over the Sierra / Stranded on the heatwave, burnin' with desire / She was on the sidewalk, looking for a nightlife / We talked about the real things and drove into the fire
Headlights on the highway, the desert wind is howlin' / Rattlesnakes and romance are spillin' with the rain / Candy apple red dress, bleedin' when she kissed me / Heaven a ragtop, take away my pain
PART 3: "Just call me angel of the morning, angel..."
The relationship has lost its initial shine and turned tumultuous. Difference in personality emerge and disagreements become common. And yet, they still can't keep their hands off each other... maybe they both like the drama. They are both performers, after all...
The Way it Was- The Killers (Nevada's perspective)
I drove through the desert last night / I carried the weight of our last fight / Elvis singing "don't be cruel" / And I wonder if you feel it too / It's like we're going under
Somewhere outside the lonely Esmeralda county line / The question of my heart came to my mind
If I go on with you by my side / Can it be the way it was when we met? / Did you forget all about those golden nights?
Bend and Break- FM-84 feat. Ollie Wride (Cali's perspective)
Leave your reason at the door / 'Cause the writing's on the wall / The sunshine's gone / Maybe it's too soon to call / But we've both been here before , so I'm waiting on
No our music it ain't done, 'cause I found our revelry / In the highways and the dancehalls that filled our history
Angel of the Morning- Juice Newton (Nevada's perspective)
There'll be no strings to bind your hands / Not if my love can't bind your heart / There's no need to take a stand / For it was I who chose to start / I see no need to take me home / I'm old enough to face the dawn
Just call me angel of the morning, angel / Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby / Just call me angel of the morning, angel / Then slowly turn away from me
Body, let me see your body / Take off all your makeup and your clothes / Trust me, why don't you just trust me? / You're the only beauty, show me more
You're not a dime a dozen / Oh, your skin is golden / Let me show the whole damn world / You're one in a billion / The only thing you're missin' / Is some tape over that mouth
BABY SAID- Maneskin (Cali's perspective; Nevada is "baby")
Baby said
"When you're talking, I go dead"
"Shut your mouth, give me your head" (uh-uh-uh-uh)
I know you really want to
Baby said
"Let me taste your silhouette"
"You can talk between my legs" (uh-uh-uh-uh)
I know you really want to
Faithless- The Airborne Toxic Event (Cali's perspective)
I wake up early my head ain't right / It's the fever dream of what we did last night / I flex my fingers and feel my age / Fifteen minutes till we take the stage / And I call you when I wake up drunk / My arms are cold and my head is sunk / They say the lights go up at ten PM / Just make sure you're okay by then
Neon Medusa- The Midnight (Either one tbh)
It's a highway, highway to the dark / And a neon medusa's got your heart / Sweet canyon lullabies, don't look straight into its eyes
Alone Together- Fall Out Boy (Both)
Cut me off, I lost my track / It's not my fault, I'm a maniac / It's not funny anymore, no it's not / My heart is like a stallion / They love it more when it's broken / Do you wanna feel beautiful, do you wanna? / I'm outside the door, invite me in / So we can go back and play pretend
and also
This is the road to ruin, and we're starting at the end
PART 4: "I only love you when I'm drunk"
Fast-forward to today (well, the past few decades, really), and they're THOSE TWO drama-Filled Frenemies With Benefits (although the benefits are debatable at this point).
Jilted Lovers and Broken Hearts- The Killers (Nevada's perspective)
Why did you roll your dice, show your cards? / Jilted lovers and broken hearts / You're out on the wind and I'm still waiting to be found
Yeah, will I ever win? / Only time will tell / You've gotta suffer to remember how well / That our ideals never really marched in time / That's the bottom line / Jilted lovers and broken hearts
Getting Even- White Lies (Cali's perspective)
If you're getting even, you're getting even / Trying to get even, better start believing / I can forgive and we can forget / Even after all this wrestling of conscience / I can forgive and we can forget / Even after all this love and other nonsense
Love You When I'm Drunk- MIKA (Both)
Don't get me wrong, last night I didn't change my mind / It was the drink, it was leaving me blind / And when I kissed you, it was such a big mistake / A couple drinks, that's the chance that I take
We All Get Lonely- The Wrecks feat. TOMI (Nevada's perspective)
You're so in love with self-destruction / You're bringing me down
Why'd you come over? / Are you sober? / Are you playing around?
You touch me gently / But it's empty / You should figure it out
Don't say, say you love me, need me / Until you've had your fun / Use me when you get lonely / We all get lonely / You're not the only one
FUCK ABOUT IT- Waterparks (Nevada's perspective)
I like you but I need some space / I like you kinda far away / It's not hard to kill a day lookin' at your face / I like you but I need some room / Been givin' me your attitude / It doesn't always stay that way / I hate the aftertaste
Ancient History- Set it Off (Both)
Damn, pick up the phone, I know I'm drunk again / And you, know my intentions 'cause it's two a.m. / It's fun and games until we both get hurt / We play with fire 'cause we like the way it burns / No use in patching up a sinking ship / This is the last time we do this, baby / This is the last time you taste my lips
I know, I know how to drive you wild / You know, you know how to make me smile / But I need you to be / My ancient history
I know, I know who you really are / You know, you know how to break my heart / But I need you to be / My ancient history
Walk Me Home- P!nk (California's perspective-- despite everything that's happened between them, he still goes to Nevada when he's hurt and lonely)
Walk me home in the dead of night / I can't be alone with all that's on my mind / So say you'll stay with me tonight / 'Cause there's so much wrong going on outside
Till It Shines- Bob Seger (Nevada's perspective; reflecting on California's loneliness)
Storm the walls around this prison / Leave the inmates, free the guards / Deal me up another future / From some brand new deck of cards
Take the chip off of my shoulder / Smooth out all the lines / Take me out among the rustling pines / 'Til it shines / Oh 'til it shines
Like an echo down a canyon / Never coming back as clear / Lately I just judge the distance / Not the words I hear
and this part:
See the rich man lost and lonely / Watch him as he dines / Sitting there just testing all the wines / 'Til it shines
AND OF COURSE...
Waking Up in Vegas- Katy Perry
I think this one speaks for itself, BUT...
Spare me your freakin' dirty looks / Now don't blame me / You want to cash out / And get the hell outta town / Don't be a baby / Remember what you told me
Shut up and put your money where your mouth is / That's what you get for waking up in Vegas / Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes now / That's what you get for waking up in Vegas
