Peering into the Mind of halcionne’s Bass Player, Tracey Crystal Miller
(She’s the really cute brunette on the right, accompanied by some of her closest acquaintances)
So Tracey, even though we’ve known each other for years, our lives don’t always intertwine. When we get together during our once-a-semester food dates, and when we spend at least two hours lamenting over relationship issues and the fuckery which is this world, we never truly sit down and vocalize why we choose to do what we do. For example, I love writing because when you come across certain lines of prose and poetry, sometimes it makes you go, “Damn. That was beautiful,” and that’s exactly the feeling that I attempt to pursue everyday.
As a crazy talented artist and member of the band, halcionne, when did you experience “the moment” that made you want to dive into music and its composition?
You’re too kind dear Ashley!! To be honest, “the moment” probably occurred sometime in middle school, when I started actually being aware of my angsty adolescent emotions, including the feelings that listening to music provoked in me. For me, it was indie and electronic music that really inspired me to do music, because it seemed like something I could try - recording my voice into a shitty microphone and layering horrible midi instruments behind it was a task any teenager could handle. As soon as I began creating my terrible music, I felt something click inside of me, something that allowed me to work on a song for hours but feel that no time had passed. It was something that truly got me excited. Unfortunately those days are gone. JK.
As a devotee of the liberal arts, what are some obstacles you had to come across in terms of people suggesting that music isn’t a real career? (Don’t be afraid to tell off these assholes).
To be completely honest, I understand that point of view, in a way. It’s an extremely different career for most. In most cases, as a full-time musician you really need to know how to do just about everything, like teaching, arranging, improvising, transcribing, sight-reading, fixing instruments, etc. You are your own boss and you need to book yourself, keep yourself busy, and make ends meet in any way you can. It sounds rough, but musicians choose this path willingly and need to be able to face it. Along with all the joys of it too of course!
How exactly do you start the creative process when you have to compose a piece? What’s your source of inspiration? What’s your secret? Give it. Give it to me.
To be honest, there are so many ways to look at this, but a thing that you hear over and over again is not to wait for inspiration. Given the demanding and fast-paced nature of the music business, you simply cannot. Inspiration is usually something that happens amid the mundane revisions, and transforms your piece from there. Although I agree with this in some ways, sometimes I need to be inspired in order to come up with an idea that I’ll actually want to stick with throughout the grueling revision and rewriting process of composing (which makes up about 90% of it). One thing that helps me is to ask myself, especially when I’m in some type of mood, what would I like to hear now? What would make me feel this way, or that?
Do you ever feel like a badass feminist icon, shattering gender roles by being a kickass bass player? Because I totally do.
Since I play both upright and electric bass, in two entirely different spheres, I feel that I should talk about both of them. To start, let me tell you about the basement scene, where I play bass: it’s a sausage fest. It’s such a popularity contest. The few bands dominating the scene are made up of interchangeable members from the same pool of men with larger-than-average egos. Of course, most of them are very talented and I’m horribly overgeneralizing, but that’s the gist. It’s honestly pretty difficult to be in a fem band. We don’t play many shows and we’ve rarely felt very respected. We’re usually the opener for shows, who play when guests haven’t shown up yet. As for playing upright bass in the classical music program here, I haven’t had too many problems. Besides carrying that monstrous thing. I eventually got myself a bass buggy so that I can wheel my enormous bass around and save my back at the expense of looking ridiculous.
And finally, what makes music composition so fulfilling for you? Do you think it defines any aspect of you as an individual?
At this very moment, in the middle of an undergraduate composition program, I could most truthfully say that it’s hard. It’s so hard. But I like challenges. I’m a slow writer, and when I finally finish, get in rehearsals with musicians, and hear my piece performed after all the blood sweat and tears that went into it, it’s quite a feeling. It’s a feeling I’ll continue to chase for a long time.
