Pluto transiting in the 4th is like easily one of the most challenging things ever. To have your emotional state destroyed and rebuilt over and over until you form a resilient wall around your emotional wellbeing is so painful. By the ppl who u trust behind close doors.
To know I am not finished with this transit although Pluto is in Aquarius is a lot for me. Two more years of this bullshit.
I am doing the work. I have gone to therapy three times over the last couple years, working through trauma and old cycles. My most recent lesson turned affirmation is that “I am in control of my emotions”. So often I realized how many ppl close to me fed off my misery and my reactions to the point where I had to realize this myself. I can’t choose how people behave towards me but I can choose how to react. With a fire moon and mars, this has been my ultimate challenge especially in a home where I am constantly provoked, under surveillance or suffocated.
You don’t realize how many people feel so unimportant to you that they have to constantly cross your boundaries or provoked you for a confrontation that will empower them. That your reaction and anger fuels them and brightens up their day. You transfer your power over to them when you allow them access to your negative emotions. The minute they got under your skin, gives them a boost of energy. People who frown and pick at you until you blow up and you watch as suddenly a grin appears on their face. They are emotional vampires. Misery loves company.
Now imagine this being the people who know you behind closed doors. My family and home life has seriously been a thorn in my ass for so many years. My south node is in this house as well. I have felt as though my spiritual, professional and personal progress has been restricted due to my home life. I have felt like a nomad, seeking homes within others refuge for breaks.
If you have this placement or it’s transiting your 4th can we hold a group session where we all just cry? Thank you
