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So much is going on here. Two redheads and one synth. Schneider and Richard continuing their pre-show yoga on stage. Oliver also trying to play along. But where is Till? Only way to make this picture better is when Oliver and Till would have danced tango (like Richard claimed they have used it as pre-show routine ;)

#mutter boys #precious pictrure #mutter tour #which show #is it picture or screenshot?

A Rammstein observation from Mutter tour

I don’t remember who posted the original post about this, but someone asked what was in Till’s pants during the 2001 Mutter tour. From what I remember it was concluded that it was one of 3 things: a dick, a microphone or a dildo. I set out to see which one it was. My research consisted of multiple shots of both captain and vodka, ice cream as dinner, and one video from 2001 that happen to take place in my home state (not biased or anything like that).

Pre video watching the linked video, and just looking at photos:

If he were to have a microphone in his pants, we would see a cord coming out of either his pant leg or like his hip or something. Which we do not. In the video linked about, they are using microphones with cords in them and there would be no way that’s a microphone.

IF it is a microphone, then it would have to be one that doesn’t work/just for show.

During the previous tour (i.e. Live aus Berlin) he literally had a dildo in his pants and that’s why it looked like he had a massive boner or just a huge bulge.

In conclusion (about the pants), if its not a dead microphone or another dildo, it’s literally him with a boner. Maybe he just got really turned on during the concerts or he did it on purpose because we had already seen him with his (fake) dick out and was just like ‘fuck it’. Who knows!? I like the idea that he’s just having a grand old time, or he’s stressed as all hell and shit happens with your body when your happy or stressed and BANG you got yourself a happy/stress/whatever boner.

ALSO why are his pants so tight? Did he really want us to see literally everything???

Now onto other important matters (aka watching the video) (also observations about the video itself):

Don’t be alarmed but the linked Mutter tour video doesn’t have Paul in it. I was shocked too, but according to at least one of the comments, Paul had to be with his wife (???????) so he missed some shows. (I have no clue whether or not that’s true, just what a comment said)

I’m very convinced that Till uses the Till hammer to count out where he needs to sing next so he gets it correct every single time. I don’t think its every time there is a pause, but sometimes if there is a long enough pause he does the hammer and perfectly sings everything and I’m just convinced.

Also I think some of the walking about and head spinning, is also related to maybe counting to make sure he sings the song the same way every time (some bands like to change up songs especially if they have sung them for a long time, but I don’t really notice that with Rammstein)

The hammer, head spinning, and walking around is also a great cover for Till not being able to see the crowd, since it is pretty well known that he doesn’t like the crowd looking at him and that’s also why he does the pyro and the lights on the other members. If he’s not doing the whole counting thing, then its probably a stress/anxiety thing and its great. A+ Till

Also around the 15 minute mark, Flake is doing his little solo in Feuer Frei and someone just yells “that does it!” And I don’t know whether that is the person being annoyed by Flake or just being excited for Flake, but I love it

Richard singing Ich Will makes me want to scream and lock myself in my closet (aka its really hot and Pauls not there to distract me)

Till almost smacking himself in the face with the microphone multiple times is also a little funny, but a lot of me panicking

Till amazes me with the lack of attraction towards the audience, but he is in complete control of them without even looking at them, like shit I wish I could have that kind of power even with just my freakin’ cat

He looks like he’s just singing for himself and I fucking love that so much

This has turned into a tour review and I don’t care

The beginning of Du Hast starts, there is a blinding light, and then it just goes to fucking Richard who’s taken his fucking shirt off and its so close I can almost touch him holy shit I need a cold shower

20:55 is the best shot of the new game show I’m making called Is It A Dick, Dildo, Or Microphone?

Spitting Till has me shook. I hate it when people spit, but like I can get behind it when Till does it? What kind of monster am I??

Actually the whole song, Du Hast specifically, shows the best shots of my new game show (say it with me guys) Is It A Dick, Dildo, Or Microphone?

Creepy, laughing (but not quite laughing) Till also shook me

Ollie just keeps stamping around and its so adorable

Doom is just fucking killing it and looks like a god

Richard saying NEIN made me have babies

God how fucking long are Ollies legs. I bet Paul can almost walk straight under them without really bending over. Maybe they play limbo with them? I’d fuckin’ do it!

Flake’s dance being interrupted by an actual demon wasn’t great but its 2001 quality and I’ll forgive everyone at this particular moment

Till yells something at 23:05 and it’s in German so I can’t understand it well, but it sounds like a weird combination of “more” or “no”, which in either case would be hilarious. Like “sing more” as in sing louder or like “sing no” as in ya fucking suck stop singing

Weird donkey noise? Approved by the local Michigan donkey association club

Till also screamed what I thought was perfect English and it sounds like “say it!” ??? I’m not sure and I too damn excited anyway

I’m now fully convinced that The Mysterious Package™, as I am calling it now, is literally his dick because Till will walk into the side stage and com back and it’s like in a completely different location, unless he’s rearranging his mic or dildo (which why would you do that unless it’s moved somewhere very uncomfortable). It’s all very confusing.

People from my home state were fucking wild at concerts in 2001. I’ve counted a fuck ton of just people screaming like actually wolverines (those noises but like 20 times louder and in my ear)

During Bück Dich, Till does stick his mic in his pants, but no where near The Mysterious Package™

Ollie falls down (like help I’ve fallen and can’t get up kind of falling) and Till gets into Hamilton’s Burn. Bück Dich just got fucking serious (for about 0.04 seconds)

Till splashing himself with water and throwing it is going to be me if I ever get to see these boys live I swear

THAT BUTT PAT ON FLAKE IS THE DEATH OF ME goodbye I have now died and I think they are gonna fuck

Well guys in conclusion: its a dildo (so much liquid came out of that dildo)

I just wanted to take you guys on a wild ride

BUT

During the last song (Sonne), Till still has a somewhat noticeable bulge and...

My final conclusion: sometimes it’s a dildo that Till shoots water or whatever liquid out of, sometimes it might be his actual dick, sometimes its a dildo that hes already shot liquid out of but the dildos got to go somewhere so back in the pants it goes.

So I am of no help whatsoever. I’m going to take a cold shower and contemplate why I’m analyzing (fake?) dicks again...

#rammstein #till #richard #flake #doom #ollie #2001 #mutter tour #observations #feuer frei live #buck dich live #sonne live #detroit mi #concert #holy fuck this is long #sorry guys i couldnt sleep and had to get this out of my system #i do seriously want to make that a game show