anyone giving her a “guilty” verdict gotta listen to the Voice Drama because she literally can be completely redeemed fr!! she needs love and therapy and that's all there is to it.
also just gonna say this while i'm here. we're reaching the stage where i'm beginning to think we're going to vote them all innocent, just to end up with some crazy plot twist where they all suffer anyway…
really long rant about POCs showing solidarity to Black people and why i don't think that's erasure, below cut:
(yellow text is for the important stuff!)
(TL;DR: it's obviously not the same as Black people showing solidarity for Black people but i just can't see why marginalised groups can't relate to other marginalised groups when it comes to their oppression, among other things? i think they can and should. we can celebrate our differences, but there are many commonalities too, and we shouldn't shun people for caring sentiments purely based on their race. that's also racist.)
almost every time i write a rant or vent post, i never post it. i want to, and then i don't.
it's not a problem about self-acceptance, but i suppose i get afraid. afraid of potential backlash and the like.
not that it's like i'm not aware that this is the Internet and visible to the world, but… sometimes i feel like nowhere is safe. i can pretend that partial anonymity makes me safe, but that's hardly true anymore too.
i'm only wondering one thing. is it bad that i feel so excluded, even from online spaces? because, when it comes to your 18+ system resources or your Black-only posts, where do i, a minor and a non-Black POC system fit in?
i don't agree with what i saw was said. i don't agree with the idea that showing solidarity with a post concerning Black culture and oppressive views is erasure, all because the person expressing the “you aren't alone; in my culture they do the same thing.” sentiment is non-Black. i also don't agree with the sentiment that Black people are necessarily “the bottom rung”, because that viewpoint shifts between societies; the Internet is a means of connecting people from across the globe, and so in my experience i find Black people to be well-respected members of society and sinophobia to be the most prevalent – and it is just that. it is just my experience. but to suggest that one race is unequivocally “the bottom rung”; that you should necessarily be exclusive about your own experiences; that the “i get it” mentality is inherently harmful… that doesn't sit right with me.
as much as Black people are mistreated, being oppressed is not exclusive to being Black. as much as Black culture is erased, cultural erasure is not exclusive to being Black. same goes for the lack of representation, or for the unforgiving nature of POC communities in the real world, where mental health can be seen as taboo. as much as i agree with the sentiment of sitting with and discussing the inherent differences between race, i also think that we need to gatekeep discussions of culture and race less. the feeling of inclusion is great, don't get me wrong, but being excluded time and time again as a minority of a minority feels incredibly painful.
to the system in question (if they ever see this, but may this never reach their eyes, because i'm clearly deeping it more than was ever intended): what you said left a bad taste in my mouth. no matter how respectful you were trying to be, non-Black being supportive shouldn't “come across” as erasure. feeling seen and saying “i get it” to a post that doesn't 100% apply to them isn't necessarily erasure. of course, there are certainly ways to unintentionally erase the Blackness from your work by refusing to acknowledge it, but a short “i get it” or “i face the same struggles” comment doesn't quite do that (imho). while your feelings about Black erasure are dependent on you being Black, relating to it or feeling seen by recognising an equivalent sentiment is not. life is full of shades of grey, and though i will still continue to follow your work, i won't ever think about leaving a comment ever again. i had briefly thought about it, before deciding i felt too shy to do so, and now i find myself glad that i hadn't. reading that addendum in the tags made me feel unwelcome. as a non-Black, non-White POC system, we feel unwelcome. i do not know which country you hail from, but it is my experience that American discussions of race have almost always exclusively been about Black people and White people, and i find myself thinking about all of the other races in the world who are never included in those discussions. that is where, i suspect, this Black-exclusive sentiment stems from. this feeling is valid within its own right, but i disagree with the indiscriminate application of this Black exclusivity as a lens to view all non-Black supportive comments through. we don't have to be Black to “get it”. we don't have to be Black to relate to your feelings. hot take, but even non-POC can “get it”, because discrimination itself is a common occurrence that can be based on characteristics other than race itself.
what i'm trying to say is that non-Black people can conceptually understand, sympathise and empathise with the Black experience of oppression without being Black, because those feelings and that oppression are not exclusive to being Black. rather, that oppression and lack of recognition within a community is simply part of the human condition: these feelings are not exclusive to your race, so while i would not personally treat them as such, that choice is up to you.
is it bad or wrong to feel this way? i hope it isn't. i just wish there were more spaces for me, but there probably won't be. if anything, the fate of social media access is looking more precarious by the day, and governments around the globe are looking to ban social media for all under-18s, but that's besides the point. my point is that we divide things into groups when they should have never been divided in the first place. but who am i kidding? since when did nuance matter? since when did the viewpoint of a non-Black person on (apparently) Black-exclusive matters, matter? since never, probably. that's why i decided a vague vent was fitting. that's why i decided against leaving a comment or message. discussions of race are polarising and contentious, after all.
to anyone who sees this, i hope you have a nice rest of your day/night. it is quarter past 5 in the morning for me, i have been up since half 2 and i have school in the morning. i ought to sleep at least one more hour…
i might post my original rant. i also might not. (edit 21/06/26: yeahh… probably not.) i'm sure it matters very little in the grand scheme of things. if i end up posting it, i'll leave a little note at the top, just so nobody's confused. as long as i can exist in relative peace, i am happy.
just in case: if you find who i'm talking about, (please) don't harass them. opinions differ. that's life.
before you browse my posts, read this DNI. if you belong to these groups, i will not interact with you. if i check through your posts, and you belong to these groups, then i will block you without warning. please note that as i ran out of tags, there are DNI that are only listed in the text/body of this post.
(please note that endos/endogenic systems and systems of any origin, as well as fictives and proshippers ARE welcome here. anyone who believes otherwise can also leave.)
DNI: racists; xenophobes; homophobes; lesbophobes; transphobes; biphobes; arophobes; acephobes; MAPs; TERFs; radqueers; transids*; yumeshippers; shifters; (singlet) mediakins/fictionkins**; anti-endos; anti-proshippers; pro-contact; pro-lifers and any other kind of hatred towards any demographic.
*not including transgender, otherwise just know that unless it's trauma-related or mental illness related, transids make me feel uncomfortable. (some are welcome e.g. plurality-based transage/transspecies but some are always unwelcome e.g. transracial/transabled)
**more specifically, "singlet fictionkins who feel that they haven't experienced any trauma". this is a very small category, and even if you fall under this category, interact if you want to, but i might not reply.
(this DNI also includes anyone who says “i don't want them to die but i do not support the LGBTQ+” and anyone who thinks homosexuality is “a sin” or something “worthy of going to hell for”, or anyone who is “gender critical” and/or not supportive of trans people.)
the rest is below this read more! (more about my singlet fictionkin exception also.)
look. i'm not anti-fictionkin, but we (Spider) debated on this for the longest time. systems that have fictives are welcome! however (and this is without hate), i personally think it's unhealthy to encourage that level of separation from the self, especially when you have no non-fiction self to fall back on. i also just think you guys need to get help.
i know you guys tend to define it as "involuntary", but how can it be so if you have to learn about the media source first? there's kinning and relating to a media source (i myself kin Kusunoki Muu, and i feel seen and i relate to her specific struggles) while retaining that healthy separation, and then there's replacing your non-fiction sense of self with a universe and corresponding memories that cannot be your own. it just freaks me out. this makes complete sense to me as a trauma response (because if you've experienced trauma, you'd want to escape your traumatic situation in life by dissociating from it), but without that, i don't see anything in it other than it being incredibly unhealthy.
it's just my personal belief that you need some sort of non-fiction self as an anchor to this world that we live in, especially if you haven't (in your opinion) experienced any trauma. anyone who thinks otherwise makes me feel deeply uncomfortable. that's all.
with that out of the way, here's everything you need to know about me!
TL;DR: i go by Spider; i usually post about and reblog posts to do with my fandoms; i sometimes vent about my mental health; i occasionally rant about people and phenomena; my pronouns are he/him; i am plural/a system; i am asexual, trans, genderfluid and plurfluid; i talk a LOT.
please be warned that i am very opinionated and very chatty, so my blog mostly consists of posts that are essentially just walls of text.
as i am such a chatty person, it's customary for me to use yellow to colour-code important information, red to colour-code warnings, and blue to colour-code extra information or tangents. i will also sometimes use yellow or red to highlight more important points within those asides. (i find this helps with readability.)
i also colour-code my long posts according to how i want to refer to each character within my posts. i colour the name and *most* pronouns (unless they're too close to another coloured phrase, or within blue brackets!). these colour-codes are useful for me because i find it easier to read and proofread, and it's less ambiguous if there's more than one character who uses the same pronouns. for example, i am green!
you can either refer to me as Spider, or by my username ‘muuissoinno’!
(please never shorten it to Muu… i want it to be known that even though i kin Muu, i am not a fictionkin, and even the idea of being referred to that way kinda freaks me out.)
my username itself is based on the character Kusunoki Muu from MILGRAM, the interactive music project by DECO*27! it's available on YouTube, it's a really good watch, and it's going to be ending in September 2026 (i'm so not ready).
when i say i kin Muu, i mean i really really kin her. i have other kins, such as Basil or Cabby but she might be the only character i could ever fully kin like this, including some intricacies of commonalities between our lived experiences.
i kin her for reasons that could, at a glance be problematic (especially if you are familiar with the project) but i have absolutely outgrown those tendencies now!!! i just think my similar lived experiences give me more of an insight into her character, which is why i care so much about her… so if you see me posting lots about her, you'll get it now!!
to help with searching through my posts, i have used the following tags!
there are three categories, and they're all linked below:
1) post type
#muuissoinno posts for my posts
#muuissoinno reblogs for my reblogs
2) post length
#muuissoinno blanks for reblogs with only tags
#muuissoinno extra longs for extra long posts
#muuissoinno longs for long posts
#muuissoinno shorts for short posts
#muuissoinno extra shorts for extra short posts
3) post content
#muuissoinno tag rants for posts & reblogs with notable/large tag rants
#muuissoinno rants for posts that are rants/mostly made up of complaints
#muuissoinno vents for posts that are personal and vents (note: they deal with heavy themes as i am mentally ill and trying to navigate life – i do not glorify mental illness and if you need help, and can get help, get help. don't encourage others to harm themselves. i am getting help myself.)
to my little sister who is consistently awful to me and had bragged about downloading Episode 9 early: you aren't “tuff” for it, nor are we going to see it in the theatre together!! i'll make sure of it!!
hi guys!! to my six wonderful followers that i love, (well, all but one) i gotta just let you guys know abt something…
i'm sorry about your notifications in advance!!
(i know some blogs go way crazier with posts sometimes but. the volume is gonna be High because the TADC and MILGRAM brainrot is Strong rn!!!!)
sooo if you see me posting in bulk in the next day or so, it's because i've been writing these posts on and off for about a week now LOL
i mean, i gotta get them out eventually right???
…goodness me, this post was gonna be shorter but it was like all of the Spiders couldn't stop contributing (more on that later! i'm working on an intro post :D)
(slightly off-topic vocaloid rant is cyan so you can skip that if you wish)
it's MILGRAM time everyone!!!! how fun!!! i'm so not mentally ready for the MV to come out for Life in just under two hours.......
listening to the song on its own has destroyed me. the first line on its own destroyed me. she's literally crying in the song... rock bottom at its finest! i just want her to be okay (we know it's impossible but one can dream) and i know this show has other plans for her insteaddd and i wish everyone (who's still alive) in MILGRAM could just get therapy at the end????? please???????
the only other thing i wanna say is. why do some fans always feel the need to project western ideas onto Japanese society?? i feel like this issue plagues so many spaces where english speaking communities meet japanese media (e.g. Vocaloid/UTAU songs getting cancelled over a decent translation that got warped coz of the western lens... i remember what y'all did to ざぁこ just bc Hiiragi Magnetite wanted to make a flashy sounding song about a high-school aged girl teasing her crush. does every song have to be a groundbreaking masterpiece? i don't think so. and y'all criticised the flipping bed squeaking SFX, as if other songs like Mesmerizer and Static don't use it too </3 like if you want to cancel a Kaai Yuki producer, go after shikiura sougo ig??? his songs are waaay more explicit topic-wise [even then it's still within an acceptable range 90% of the time] and if you have such an issue with ざぁこ i bet you'll have a field day(!) but i digress.) and it kinda just gets on my nerves sometimes...
like, can't we just accept that abortion is taboo in Japan, and so it's not unreasonable for Yuno to be treated as a prisoner? i mean, this one comment i saw about how they were "disappointed in MILGRAM" kinda pmo. media literacy and cultural awareness is so on the decline lately. Yuno is literally goin thru it with survivor's guilt coz she watched someone die. and yeah, we ourselves might have not personally taken the same approach towards abortions (i'm pro-choice, for one) but that doesn't mean it's not okay to feel guilty about it!! if anything, Yuno's ability to criticise herself in such a flawed way is what makes her character feel more believable and human!! she's only 18 years old, after all. why do we get to judge how she judges herself? and why should we be so meta with it, such that we judge MILGRAM as a whole? if we were to assume that the prisoners reflected the views of DECO*27 or anyone else on the team, should we say that they advocate for Amane's cult's teachings?? of course not!!
anyway. this series makes me ill. i wish Mahiru was still with us. and i better get to making fanart that's worth posting...
i don't know what to do like i've been dissociating the whole day and now i feel the psychosis creeping up on me like ???? am i cooked ???? are the delusions gonna get my ass ????? is the brain fog going to take away my cognition again ????????