#muuuum

[sidetongue]

she found a flower. it was an exciting time for all. 

[iwonchew]

ok goiddnight bitches

[llamalord14]

My mom was in a terrible motorcycle accident and the doctors told her she wouldn't be able to get even 10% mobility in her arm ever again and it's been about a month and she's gotten 80-85% mobility and her reason for it is "they told me I couldn't and so imma fuckin do it" and yeah that's the level of extra I aspire to be.

[tryingtogethappyagain]

This morning my mum was looking through my TABINOF she first asked who are they I respond with “they are two of the youtubers I watch???” she then flips through a few more pages and goes “ they are funny...Are they dating?” I said “no but some people ship them.” 

And now she knows what shipping is and thinks they should date... My MUM ships Phan...

[grandpascurtains]

Mom: why don't you ever wanna hang out with me anymore Me: **hangs out with mom Mom: you need to fix your makeup Mom: your music is giving me a headache Mom: do you have to wear that shirt Mom: would it kill you to smile Mom: ugh I hate those shoes Mom: do we have to go to hot topic Mom: I don't like this new person you've become Me: really? Mom: seriously why I don't get it

[ball-hard-in-miklagard]

In two totally mature statements I would like to say that a) The toy store across from work has a sale on 5″ fully articulated Star Wars dolls b) Darth Vader will be guarding my tips jar henceforth.

[luck-of-the-house-blog]

"Mum ?"... "MUM ?"... "PAAAAAAM".

#5

Please excuse if the grammar in this series of events isn’t exactly perfect, asmall at present I am stoned as fuck.

Okie doke so, the other day I went out with my mum; she wanted to sort though her house and get rid of some old junk she no longer used anymore. My mum is one those people that likes to give away pretty much anything and everything that she owns.

Buuuuuuut, whenever I need her, I do the normal yell for mum and pause for her to reply with an answer close to that of my name. (Now I know everyone has had to this anyone point or another in their life). I will normally wait about 3 seconds for her to reply, and to my surprise (not) she doesn’t respond, this process is repeated a further 3 times and every time she respond. So I eventually always end up calling my mum by her first name, within seconds she will always without hesitation turn around/look up and say “Don’t you ever call me that, I’m you’re mother so you call me mum”. This is a woman that doesn’t respond or reply 99% of the time when getting called “Mum.. My God I can not even begin to say just how annoying or frustrating it is for that to happen.

#mumlogic