#my eric

[ivedescoveredheathsjoker]

Teal moodboard for my love Eric.

-Inspired by the song I thought Eric was singing to me, Untitled by The Cure-

[ivedescoveredheathsjoker]

Hey, sweetie ☺️ For the fluff self-ship asks: I would like to hear your answers to all questions 💖❤️

blankets: how do you relax together?

Pat, Eric and I all relax the same way, with music on in the background and just laying down together, somtimes cuddled up. J on the other hand is more relaxed when he knows Eric and his crow are watching over Pat and I, and he can clean his knives.

rainbows: how do you spend an off day inside together?

Pat and I like to go to the park and take pictures, somtimes we like to bring things with us, other times we take pictures of just the world around us, and other times we'll take pictures of either one or both of us. Afterwards we'll end up getting coffee or hot chocolate.

J much prefers to stay in on his days off from creating chaos, so we tend to watch movies and eat a bunch of snacks. Somtimes if im lucky he'll let me draw him while he's watching Tom and Jerry or Ren and Stimpy.

Eric and I go out on walks around town, once in a while if the shops are open we'll take a look to see what CDs they have. In the evening we end up going to a goth night.

lights: how do you spend your night together?

I ussually will draw, collage, or paint while Pat either watches or cuddles me. If Eric and J are home, Eric will play his guitar while J organises his ideas for the next day.

nostalgia: what makes you and your f/o nostalgic?

Music can make Pat, Eric and I feel nostalgic. For Pat and I it's Let my Love Open the Door by Pete Townshed, because it was the first love song we shared a dance to. For Eric and I it's Untitled by The Cure because it was the first song he played for me. J and I feel nostalgic over a particular playing card because I had tried to recreate his art work and it turned out terrible (we both agreed he should stick to card art).

moods: what makes your f/o happiest?

Hearing "I love you" makes both Eric and Patrick so happy, so much so they will ask for me to say it again. Though Pat also gets happy when we put on a record and dance together. J is happiest when he teaches me small things like how to pick a lock or how to accurately thow a knife, especially if i pick it up quickly.

starry: what gets both you and your f/o excited?

Pat and I get excited when we find bat, koala and kangaroo stuffies. Its a tad bit silly, but we both get so happy when we find our matching stuffies :3

Eric and I get soooo excited when we see another goth in our neighborhood, a CD we've been looking for, and when we find out there's a goth night closer to us.

J and I get really excited when we have knife throwing competitions in the house. Even though J always wins, I still get really excited when he promises a competition. (Yes Pat hates it bc ome wrong move and somone could get hurt)

comfort: how do you take care of each other?

Eric and J have a strange way that they comfort one another. Since they both have moments when they are reminded of the past, they will sit close together away from eveyone/everything and they'll just talk. Pat and I never know what about, just that they're helping one another out. J and Eric are both very observant which means they both catch if I skipped a meal or didn't do somthing that I needed to do. They'll (including Pat) scold me for not doing whatever it was and will make sure the next week or two that I do the things I need to.

relief: how does your f/o help you feel better? how do you help them?

When im having a tough night Pat will cuddle up with me giving me my kangaroo stuffy, while while Eric is on my other side letting me rest my head on his chest listening to his humming, with J holding my hand or with a hand on my sholder. They all try to keep me with them when the thoughts start to plaque my mind.

If Pat isn't doing well I will get him his bat plushy, we'll cuddle up on the couch and I'll stroke his hair. If he's homesick we'll watch cartoons and he'll cuddle up with Kanga.

When Eric isn't doing so well, we'll cuddle up too and I'll tell him how much I love him. If he's getting too lost in the memories of his life before, I'll put on some music and try to get him to sing along to the words to try to have him stay in the present, avoiding the painful memories.

J is rather hard to read, but when hes not well I'll try to hold his hand staying quiet, just being there so he knows I'm with him. If he's not irritated I'll kiss his head and maybe stroke his hair. That is if he's wanting my effections. Other times I'll let him watch Tom and Jerry and just sit there with him, letting him relax and laugh at the rediculous antics of the characters.

[ivedescoveredheathsjoker]

Me talking about my f/os

Today has been such a shitty day for me but putting on my Crow shirt and my crow claw choker made me feel so close to Eric today. I know its stupid but it makes me feel safe. He means so much to me. I listen to his song whenever I feel like shit. Its like he is speaking to me when I hear it. Like he really is telling me that things are gunna get better. He wouldn't want me to leave. Its like the perfect lullaby for nights like tonight. 🖤🖤🖤

I found my moms kangaroo stuffy she got from Australia, which is now my Patrick stuffy. I love how it's really from Australia and it makes my beleif that fate is stronger because I like to imagine that Patrick resembles both a Kangaroo and a Koala. I mean he has the energy of a Kangaroo and the cuddliness of a koala💛 Kanga makes me feel so fucking close to Patrick when I have nothing elese. I love to think that Patrick had given her to me. I also could see him cuddling her when he's missing home. 💛 While I do have Cant Take My Eyes Off of You, that's a song I listen to when I am a bit happier or want to dance to. Its not quiet as soothing, though when Pat sings it, it's perfect 💛 I love him so much💛💛💛

Sadly as of right now I have nothing that makes me feel as close with J...I am om the look out for litterally any sort of J esc thing. I am trying to find a J t-shirt I can wear to bed. I hope soon I can find somthing. I might look for a stuffed Racoon. Give him J's smile....thats an idea.... Anyway... I feel like J and I are really distant. Like I find him hard to get close enough to... Dose anyone else have a harder time connecting to J? 💜Somthing i do wish I could do is sniff his coat. Just hug it and take in his smell. Cleaning off the blood stains would be cool XD A pain in the ass, but still really cool. 💜💜💜💜

[ivedescoveredheathsjoker]

Tonight Eric sang It Can't Rain Forever to calm me down and take away the thoughts, and it was as though he was singing it to me. It made me feel safe and calmer. I'm doing a bit better now 🖤 Thank you my Crow 🖤

[ivedescoveredheathsjoker]

I keep thinking of him for some reason...

[ivedescoveredheathsjoker]

Hi um i just wanted to dork out and talk about my favorite shirt and somthing i just noticed tonight. So I got it a week ago and its the only shirt I have for one of my f/os so yea it's becomming one of my favorites. So the tag thing on the inside looks a bit diffrent than other shirts I have. (I'll put an example below) I noticed that underneath the washing instructions it has the quote "Real love is forever" and im dieing 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 I love the amount of detail thats here becuase its sooo cool. It makes me feel so happy to know Eric's love is with me and just kdkbfndkd.😭🖤🖤🖤 I think I love this shirt more now than before🖤

[ivedescoveredheathsjoker]

Tonight is the first time in a while that i feel so close to my boys. All of them<3 I’m back. Im safe with them and I will try to stay afloat. Listening to Eric with Pat and J makes me feel so happy rn and so calm in a weird way. 

[ivedescoveredheathsjoker]

Watching the crow tv show for the first time. Im not sure how it is since I've heard a lot of mixed reviews on it...