For the prompt: 14. “How did you fail a survey?” + wangxian
“Oho, what’s this?” Wei Wuxian chirps, popping up to prop his chin on Lan Wangji’s shoulder.
“What do you think?” Lan Wangji asks drily, moving his hands to give Wei Wuxian a better view of the angry “0” and sharp tirade in red marked on the paper on the desk before him.
Wei Wuxian’s eyebrows shoot up into his hair. “Isn’t this Professor Jin’s—wait, isn’t this the first week survey? How did you fail a survey?” he demands, plucking the paper off the table to look at it more closely.
“It was a poor assignment with inappropriate questions,” Lan Wangji says calmly. “It was a waste of time and unacceptable behavior from a professor. I told him so.” He starts pulling out his laptop as if this isn’t a wild statement.
“Yeah—I can see that now,” Wei Wuxian says, skimming through Lan Wangji’s extensive criticisms annotated in exacting and viciously neat handwriting beside each question. “Damn, Lan Zhan, is this what your students have to deal with? You must be a terrifying TA.”
“Perhaps.” Lan Wangji frowns. “I find their work more acceptable than this.”
“I mean, everyone knows Jin Guangshan is a sleaze and an asshole, but he doesn’t read most of the time, and definitely doesn’t look at assignments past the first page. If you’d scribbled some nonsense under the questions to make it look like you answered them, he would have given you full marks.”
“Is that what you did?”
“Basically.” Wei Wuxian shrugs. “I wrote some porn about rabbits that I broke up into sections under each question. And then I illustrated it on the second and third pages.”
Lan Wangji closes his eyes, but Wei Wuxian can see him struggling against a smile. “And did you get full marks?” he asks.
“Oh yeah, here, wanna see?” Wei Wuxian leans over to drag his backpack into reach.
“That’s all right.”
Wei Wuxian can’t help but laugh. “If you say so, Er-gege.” He goes back to reading through Lan Wangji’s brutal commentary. “You really went out of your way to only write in the margins.”
“I wanted him to know what I was doing,” Lan Wangji says simply.
“Are you going to do this for every assignment you object to? What are you going to do if he fails you in the class? It’s a requirement for graduation.”
“Then I’ll fail,” Lan Wangji says peaceably.
Wei Wuxian shoots him a look. “But?”
Lan Wangji blinks at him with a flat and innocent expression, and maybe four years ago Wei Wuxian would have bought it, but Wei Wuxian knows better now, Wei Wuxian knows him better now, so he just stares back pointedly.
“But I’m planning on getting him fired before the end of the semester,” Lan Wangji says finally, turning back to his laptop and what looks like an essay on ancient Chinese law, as if this is the end of the conversation!
“Lan Zhan!” he exclaims, spinning Lan Wangji’s chair around to face him. “You can’t just say things like that and not tell me the plan!”
“The plan is to get him fired,” Lan Wangji says, trying to spin back to his desk, but Wei Wuxian preempts that by climbing into his lap and kissing him messily on the forehead, nose, mouth—
“I love you so much, you know that?” Wei Wuxian says, grinning against Lan Wangji’s lips. Lan Wangji retaliates with a sharp, tiny nip, then pulls away.
“Wei Ying.”
“Okay, fine, I’ll let you get back to your boring essay about—what is it about? Wait, no, don’t tell me, actually, I don’t want to know—” He clambers off of Lan Wangji as he chatters, sprawling himself out on the floor and dragging his own homework out of his backpack.
“Mn,” Lan Wangji says, beginning to type. “Mind your posture.”
“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry, I’ll cushion my joints or whatever,” Wei Wuxian says unconcernedly, flipping open his folder stuffed with haphazard papers and syllabi. His copy of the contentious survey is still there on top. He grins, slithering back up towards Lan Wangji’s chair.
“Wei Ying.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to read what I handed in to Jin Guangshan?” Wei Wuxian prods, sliding the packet in question over onto Lan Wangji’s keyboard.
Lan Wangji sighs, but he picks it up.
Wei Wuxian waits for a few moments of silence, watching gleefully as he sees the tips of Lan Wangji’s ears redden.
“Wei Ying, did you—” Lan Wangji starts, then cuts himself off.
“Yes? What did I do?” Wei Wuxian asks cheerfully.
“You wrote this about us,” Lan Wangji accuses, looking delightfully embarrassed.
“No, it’s about rabbits!”
Lan Wangji shoots him a withering glare. “You gave this to Jin Guangshan?”
Wei Wuxian laughs. “It’s not like he read it!”
Lan Wangji sighs and closes his eyes.
“Oh, come on, Lan-er-gege! You didn’t even get to the best part! Did you want to see the illustrations? I think I did a good job—hey, Lan Zhan, look, look—”
