#myentry

[starf-ish]

comforting myself in times where i make any kind of error has always been such a challenge. and i understand now that i am not afraid of making mistakes; rather, i am afraid of the consequences.

my life has taught me that consequences after a mistake are always dreadful. im only still adapting to the fact that it doesn't always have to be.

[starf-ish]

when you leave, please leave me with the trinkets of our memories. the notes i left for you, the paper flower you made for me. leave me with our photos that i printed for the corkboard of our goals, and leave me with the bedsheets we used to lay in together. leave me with your marks on my skin, the only evidence i have that i've been touched.

leave me with these trinkets, so i can come back to them when i miss being loved.

[starf-ish]

A reminder of how much I feel for you:

I hold my pen with my thumb and my pointing finger and write about the things I love about us, and the things I hate about us, and the things I want to improve for us, and the things I want out of our lives for us, until my fingers are aching and bleeding.

I will write the things that define us, and the things that challenge us, until I run out of words to describe us, until my brain begs me to rest.

[starf-ish]

A reminder of just how much unwated I am:

I've been silent as an owl right here. Yet, you continue to plug your ears with your earphones, your phone's volume all the way up to drown anything else outside of your mind — to drown out my existence in our tiny room, our tiny world.

It's as if you don't want to hear me take a breath..

[starf-ish]

apparently i've been fucked up for 13 years now lol

[starf-ish]

i think a major problem that i have is, i can generally do art but i can't think of a design of my own. it's a problem when i'm journaling, not so much when i was in my humanities class.

[night1derer]

[night1derer]