#myfirstheartbreak

[cpchal]

Wanna let you go, Wanna hold you tight. But there is no where we won't get hurt. #myfirstheartbreak

[svintolivia]

how could your feelings fade?

8 months strong,

but you say it was 1.

whether it was 1, 3, 8, 20 or none .

my feelings for you have never faded.

before i was gay, i was straight.

you were my first love, the one .

the one who was on my mind every night before i went to sleep.

every time i closed my eyelids,

your face appeared .

before i knew you were the one, you were just my best friend.

the one who knew everything about me.

the one i shared secrets with.

the one who was there for me, when i need a shoulder to cry on.

was i just infatuated with our friendship?

cause i can't have feelings for this girl, that's not .. me .

i moved away, and while i was on the highway

i found myself to write a txt message to you that said,

"i never pictured myself saying this, i hope you won't think of me different,

i'm still the same best friend you've come to know & love..

but what i'm about to say might change how you feel about me as a person,

i hope you don't judge, but understand where i'm coming from.."

as i wrote the message, explaining my love..

a tear rolled down my face,

reminding me that i've fallen in love with the same gender,

something i've always thought was wrong.

as you replied to me, in shock.

i realized, i fucked up.

i ruined the best friendship i've ever had.

that now you'll never think of me as , just my friend.

i'm now the girl who couldn't handle just being friends.

i fell in love. but was not told the same in the end.

a year later, and you tell me you're attracted to girls now.

was this a joke? or were you just trying to make fun of what i said a year ago.

she continuously kept saying that she was bisexual, and sure of it now.

i refused to say that word, i didn't want to label myself.

i felt like she was lying. making fun of me for what i felt.

[loveinaglimpse]

I guess, I'm happy for you

Thanks to you, I know what’s like to be in a good relationship and in a dysfunctional relationship. You showed me how someone could care about me and be kind to me. You showed me how confused a guy can be after he gets out of almost 2 yr long distance relationship and starts being infatuated with a new girl which leads to an unexpected relationship. You showed me what it feels like to be wanted. You showed me how immature and unsure boys act when they don’t know what they want. You showed me what it feels like to be held at night when you are afraid. You showed me how a guy can be so distant that he forgets you were there for him when his friends forgot about him on New Years. You showed me what it feels like to have a friend that isn’t judge mental about what you do or who you hangout with. You showed me how your significant other’s alcohol problem can put huge strain on your relationship. You showed me what it feels like be special to someone. You showed me how someone can completely disregard your feelings and make you feel like you aren’t good enough for them. You showed me what it feels like to kiss someone who really matters to you. You showed me how easily you can replace someone who unconditionally loves you because you are afraid of being loved, getting close to someone, and getting strong feelings for someone who might end up leaving you in the end. You showed me what it feels like to not worry about what people think of you and just live life. You showed me how someone can talk about future activities and not really want them to actually happen. You showed me what it feels like to be the one who is being pursued and for once not have to be the one who chases. Most importantly you showed me how the fear of losing someone who you could love can cause you to give up and not even try to have a good relationship with them. After I realize all the good and bad things you showed me, I feel happy that I knew you and had a relationship with you. So with that being said, I see you found someone new who appears to give you something I couldn’t give you. I will say at first I was jealous, angry and upset but now that it’s sunk in that you will never come back to me because you are with her. I guess I am happy for you. All I want is for you to be happy and since that happiness is coming from her and not me, I will just be happy that you are happy. Now I will say a couple final things,I will always love you cuz you are my first love. So enjoy whatever your life leads you to, find happiness in the smallest things, and never forget the girl whose heart you broke and life you changed.