#mythsick posts

[mythsick]

guess who forgot this blog existed

mee!! anyway im making a neocities page based on days union/great day. solely because i have no sense of personality and he is my current "this guy is me now"

uhh if u get confused legit just click the confirm button theres nothing else 2 do on that page. i havent added any text yet >_>

*edit - i changed the link, so i . edited this to have the current link.

[mythsick]

i hate my ex and i beat my wife poetry or something

idfk the definition of poetry this is probably free verse. idk i write shit i think savior complex? but not "i can fix everyone" but "everyone thinks they can fix me but they FUCKING CANT", self harm, smoking, drinking, uhhh "i can fix u!" vs "try it and ill make myself irreparable"

everyone leaves when they realize they can't fix me.

its not that im past mending, its that they realize that pretty words dont work.

they realize maybe they don't have the magical touch they think they do.

then they think that im the problem.

its not that their words arent magical, or that their presence isn't all-healing.

its that IM the issue.

they leave after promising a future. they leave after trying to get me to drop my vices.

you cannot fix something that long learned that help was temporary.

that the hands that feed deserve to be bitten when they think they have the right to tell you what to do.

you let me believe you were the petals to my thorns.

when in reality you were the gardener convinced that if you cut the thorns off then the entire bush would lose its thorns.

instead, the rose realized that when you noticed pretty words weren't a fix-all, you pulled away.

and so the thorns came back tenfold.

everything you told me to not do because it was "bad for me" came back tenfold.

my chest is heavy with smoke, my wrist and shoulder aching from the blade, and yet. through it all.

this is spite. and spite feels so much better than candy-coated words and rotting promises.

i am not your project. i am not your little subject. i am not your pet to try to fix.

i am me. i will never be yours. i will never let you fix me when you never wanted whats best for me.

you just wanted to feel important. you just wanted to think you could change something.

but this thing tilts back glasses of stolen alcohol that tastes like sharpies just as a "fuck you"

this thing cuts deeper just because it wants to see your face pale when you realize

my healing was never because of you

my worsening was because i fucking hate you

my worsening is because i want you to realize that just because im broken doesnt mean you can try to fix me.

fix me and ill make myself worse.

fix me and ill do my damnest to hurt you.

eat shit bitch.