#naam2016

[sweetlittledaisy7]

I honestly feel like adoptive parents,agencies, and hopeful adoptive parents don't want to listen to adoptees. Especially when we speak about our adoption experience. If you're not drinking the kool-aid, they shut you up. They call you angry. Adoption isn't beautiful. Adoptive parents and agencies you can continue to lie to yourselves. Adoption brings upon pain. It's abandonment. The happy stories isn't the majority. The grief, crying, and pain is to a lot of adoptees. People really think infants won't remember. They won't care. They're yours from the beginning. Well infants grow up. They grow up to have feelings towards their adoptive parents and birth parents. They have feelings about their adoption. Every choice you make affects your child. See this quote. Love makes family. I honestly don't get it. My birth mom loves me. If love is all we need,then I shouldn't be adopted. Because love makes a family. For those of you with biological children, why not choose adoption? Make an infertile couple dreams come true. Infertile couples if you become pregnant, just give your baby away to another infertile couple. Make their dreams come true. Adoption is a loving option. All we need is love. So why not give your child away? Why do so many kids grow up within their birth families if adoption was so loving? Why aren't we all adopted?

[sweetlittledaisy7]

Stuff like this bothers me. All my life I was told I was chosen. I was special. I grew in my parents hearts. I was wanted. My birth mom gave me up because she loved me. Again just rubbing it in my face that I’m different. I’m adopted. I need to be grateful.

If I was chosen that means I can be unchosen. If I was chosen that means my parents picked me like they do a pair of shoes. That means I’m an item.

If I was wanted, why didn’t my birth mom want me? Why did she give me away? The one person whose suppose to want you doesn’t.

If I’m so special, why am I adopted? Why didn’t my birth mom keep something as special as me.

Missing piece? I’m missing a piece of my birth family. My birth mom is missing a piece (me) I’m not an object

Grew in my parents hearts? Well when I met my birth mom last year she told me she never stopped thinking about me. She loved me. It hurt her she couldn’t see me anymore. What about my birth moms heart.

Adoption rocks. No it doesn’t. Adoption sucks. It hurts. It’s painful.

If your parents were deadbeats does that mean they loved you? No. Saying my birth mom gave me up because she loved me is offensive. It hurts. Love isn’t suppose to hurt. Saying I was chosen is very rude. I’m not an item. That means I could be unchosen. That means my parents could give me away too. Dismissing my feelings and my birth mom isn’t right. Stop saying these things. It’s harmful to adoptees. It hurts them. Stop trying to make yourself feel better.

[sweetlittledaisy7]

Names Changes. Adoptive Parents PLEASE LISTEN.

I was adopted at birth. My birth mom named me. I had her middle name. My first name was in honor of her relative that died. My adoptive parents changed my name. They changed it because they want me to be “theirs”. They wanted me to have the gift of a name they chosen.

Adoptive parents, name changes are a big deal. When you change the child’s name you’re telling them their birth name isn’t good enough. You’re trying to disconnect them from their birth family. You’re trying to be selfish and only make them yours. Changing a child’s name gives them two identities. The child thinks they’re not wanted by their birth name. I wonder if I would’ve been a different person if I had my birth name. My parents already had me. They took me from my birth mom. She left the hospital without me. I was already theirs. That didn’t require a name change. People think because I was an infant it doesn’t matter. Guess what it does. I’m 16 now. Infants grow up. Everything you do will affect your child in the future. I’m sad my name was changed just to appease my parents. Adoption isn’t beautiful. It doesn’t rock. Why should an adoptee be forced to give up their name when they already lost everything. I’m an individual. I’m not a cure for infertility. Adoption isn’t a cure to the baby you could’ve had. Love the child as they are. Don’t change their name. I was already born and named. Named by a woman that birthed me. That was special to me. My birth mom thought months about naming me. That’s a gift. A gift my parents took away. Just because I was an infant and they wanted to be parents gives them no right to change my identity.

A name is an identity. Adoptees shouldn’t have to change themselves for their adoptive family. Name changes are selfish and what adoptive parents want. All without thoughts to the adoptee and their birth family.

[sweetlittledaisy7]

To my birth mom. I love you and miss you. I don't really understand how. I have few sketchy memories of you. I didn't grow up with you. Yet you're still the one I want the most. You're the one I want to know. I wish I could've grown up with you. You're a distant stranger to me but you mean so much. My adoption closed when I was 5. I thought you were a friend. I didn't cry when I didn't see you again. I was too young to understand. I know you cried. You wanted to see me more often. You sent things for me. You knew you had to let me go. You chose a good family for me, but I hate them right now. They hurt me too much. I would much rather be with you. I don't know you. I want to know you. I don't know what to feel or do right now. I don't understand how you could me away. I saw the pictures of you holding me. It's hard to see. How could you give me away like that? Sometimes I wish you would've kept me with you. Adoption is too much pain. Too much hurt. Too many identities. I was happy to finally see you last year. It was hard. It was also weird. I had so many questions but didn't ask them. It was hard talking to you. Especially when you said you named me. Then my parents changed it. I want to change it back to what you named me. I'm just not sure yet. We both have lives. I wonder if you think about me everyday like I do you. I wonder about my birth siblings. It sucks that you kept them and not me. I don't feel apart of your life. I might not fit into your family. I hope we can have a relationship one day. Even if I don't call you mom, you're still my birth mom. My mom is still my mom. You're real too. People keep saying giving birth doesn't make you a mom but it does. It makes you my real mom too. I hope you're happy now and think about me often. I really do love you even though I don't know you. Even though I'm angry at you. I still love you. 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

[sweetlittledaisy7]

My Birth Mom

I see so many comments saying why or how could I still love my birth mom. My birth mom didn't raise me. She didn't parent me. She was in my life for the first 5years. I remember certain times she was there when I was younger. One specific time was my 4th birthday. My parents called her a friend. She brought me a dollhouse as my birthday gift. I told her thank you and went back to playing. She cried leaving. I don't remember much more from that day. The last memory I have of my birth mom was at the movies. My parents, some other friends, my birth mom, and me played games and ate food. My parents told me I should go hug her and I did. I remember having fun. After that I never saw her again. My parents closed my adoption. It didn't affect me at the time. I thought she was my parents friend. I found out I was adopted at 8. In 7th grade I started wondering about my birth mom. I asked my parents questions. I wanted to see her. That's when they told me their family friend was my birth mom. They closed my adoption because they didn't want me confused. My birth mom kept saying I was hers and calling me her daughter. She wanted to see me more than a few times a year. But my parents told her it would confuse me as I got older. At 5 I never saw her again. They kept sending her pics but they wanted me to wait until I was old enough to understand. My birth mom kept sending things. But stopped after awhile. I miss my birth mom. I love her. I wonder about her. I contacted her last year. I was happy to see and talk to her. She never stopped thinking about me. She let me go because she knew I was with a good family. She knew she made the choice to give me up. She wanted to move on. I wanted to ask her questions but couldn't. I really wish I could see my birth mom as my mom. But she isn't. She's my birth mom. I have two real moms. But one mom and one birth mom. My birth mom is a stranger. I don't know her. She wasn't there. She didn't help me. She doesn't feel like me mom. I'm angry and resent my parents but they're the only parents I know. I didn't get a chance to grow up with my birth mom and know her. I want to. I don't know when or how. But I feel connected to her. She's still my birth mom and I love her.

[shonnhinton]

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#LongLiveShotgun #naam2016 #iwantyou (at The NAMM Show)

[shonnhinton]

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Hockey puck mask face. #LongLiveShotgun #naam2016

[shonnhinton]

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@dudewipes & @shonnsshotgun #naam2016 #LongLiveShotgun (at Target Garden Grove Harbor)