𝘿𝙄𝙎𝘼𝘿𝙑𝘼𝙉𝙏𝘼𝙂𝙀𝙎 𝙊𝙁 𝙎𝙀𝙋𝘼𝙍𝘼𝙏𝙀 𝙀𝙓𝙄𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙉𝘾𝙀
Read on AO3
Rating: T/PG-13, maybe just slightly going on M
Warnings: No Achieve Warnings Apply
Pairing: Bartimaeus/Nathaniel
Characters: Bartimaeus, Nathaniel
Tags: Post-canon Fix It, Kissing, Idiots in Love
Word count: 3,1k
| https://archiveofourown.org/works/72885896 |
My problem (or rather, the complete lack thereof) was not that over the years he had taken several significant steps, as a magician, to equalise our relationship. It was not his perpetually clumsy manner of joking, nor did it have anything to do with his futile attempts at indistinct apologies and forced expressions of gratitude. It was not his crooked smiles, which for some reason always twitched at the left corner of his lips, nor even in his habit of falling asleep well after midnight, his head bowed on the surface of the wooden table, that wooden table on which he worked until his fingers were covered with small bruises where he held his ballpoint pen.
It was that instead of looking at him, as only the worst traitor of their kind would do, I rather looked through him. There was something fundamentally strange about the mere existence of the human body. The concept was so distant from me, buried deep in the indistinguishable connections of bones and tangled pathways of neurons, that it became harder for me to understand when it became so close to me.
Or
The concept of looking at someone you once shared a body with from an outside perspective can feel rather strange.
People who asked to be tagged: @rosie-tyler @haematicmagic