Quick reminder to everyone that the name Vali is on the Dwarves names list and Tolkien CANONICALLY named one of the Dwarves Narvi BECAUSE of Narvi Lokason (was called Narfi in one of the earlier drafts). So yeah. The "Sigyn being at least part Dwarf" theory is not that crazy 🤩
UPG: The Twins Have Pulled the Strings at Disney Before... (And Harry Potter, and Marvel) Part One: Disney + SPN
Narfi provided the inspiration for Maui's song, Thank You and How Far I'll Go in Moana, whilst also being the canon basis for Anna in Frozen. Vali is Elsa, although The Next Right Thing is one of Vali's songs. Alberto in Luca is also heavily inspired by Narfi, personality wise.
How they forgot Vali in Supernatural, though, has made both Bothers boycott watching it, even the reruns.
warnings for blood, knives, and obliquely talked around suicidal urges.
i wanted to write a post about narfi, and every time went wrong, so i told a story instead.
"if i could, i would make you a raging river with angry rapids supplied with rain, so you could always meander and forever be able to run away, without contending with myths wrongly interpreted, with pain"
"Vali."
"Give me the knife, Vali," Narfi says. He's calm, keeps his voice easy and gentle though he can feel his adam's apple moving against Vali's almost too tight grip. Vali blinks at him, shivers. "Come on," Narfi says, and he smiles, holding a hand out, palm up.
"I can do this," Vali says. His voice only trembles on the last note, grip spasming; the knife edge digs a little into Narfi's ribs.
"You can," Narfi says, "but you'll choose not to this time."
He waits. Vali sits and shakes, eyes a little wild.
Narfi isn't afraid. He doesn't need to be. He knows what this is, and what it's about.
The edge of the knife against his ribs pulls away, then Vali sets the handle in his upturned hand. It's all Narfi is waiting for; he's barely fully got a grip on the knife before he sits up, grabbing Vali even as Vali tries to pull away, run and hide somewhere--Narfi knows how this goes.
"I told you," Narfi tells him, "I love you."
He cradles Vali against him, careful to keep the knife away from skin and bone, and kisses Vali's temple, running his other hand through Vali's hair.
"See?" Narfi says.
Vali only shakes his head.
xxx
Narfi knows. Narfi’s always known.
He doesn’t see the point in dwelling on a future he can’t change, agonizing over what will come after. It’s not that he wants it all to happen, not that he’s never been kept awake by it once or twice, but fretting won’t do him any good either.
Vali… didn’t. Narfi knows this, too, even if he can’t remember when Vali found out. There was once a time Vali didn’t go quiet without warning, stopping to stare at him. A time he wouldn’t wake to Vali wild-eyed and hands around his throat, like making it his choice would make the future less painful.
He doesn’t remember what Vali was like, before. It’s been so long. Just knows it’s true, because he remembers what their dad said when Narfi confronted him about it, angry in a way he’d never been before in his life.
How would you rather him find out?
xxx
They--Narfi and his parents--don’t keep secrets, not really. They never have. Mom and dad know Vali’s not altogether hinged, know how many ledges Narfi’s talked him down from, know how many times they’ve done it themselves. They’re always talking, trading stories because the shared knowledge is what holds them together.
They let Vali keep his; on the worst days, it’s all that holds him together.
xxx
Sometimes, Narfi wishes it was Vali who was caught, not changed.
xxx
“Promise me,” Narfi says.
Vali looks up, eyes red-rimmed, miserable. He looks half-ghost; the rest is tinder. If someone breathed on him right, Narfi thinks, he’d spark and turn animal now.
No one else is here. Just them, Narfi holding a too sharp knife, blood trickling down his ribs, Vali pulled into his arms.
Vali waits.
“Promise to keep me here,” Narfi says, touching Vali’s temple. “I’m not dead until you forget.”
Vali stares at him.
“Promise,” Narfi says again. Gentle. Casual. Like this is normal.
It’s always about trying to act like this is normal, with Vali. It’s the only way Narfi’s found to prove he really doesn’t blame Vali for what happens.
