Dec 23, 2015
WORK IN PROGRESS
Illustration inspired by photography from Nathan Michael, an amazing photographer currently in Chicago. :)
copyright © 2015 King Tizj, Elizabeth Oshinowo
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seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
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WORK IN PROGRESS
Illustration inspired by photography from Nathan Michael, an amazing photographer currently in Chicago. :)
copyright © 2015 King Tizj, Elizabeth Oshinowo
Crying...
Dave is watching old videos of Nathan... Excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep because I miss my baby... Goodnight...
Nathan @ Qmanagement
Today is hard ...
...and I don't know why.
People keep telling me adoption gets easier....
But when?? When does it get easier??
March 8th will be a year since Nathan's adoption was finalized. I still feel like shit. Some days are easier than others. Today is a hard day. Especially since Austin wants to do nothing but look at pictures of his Bubby...and then asks "Bubby come home now??"
It breaks my heart.
I just want to see Nathan right now. I miss him. When does it get easier??
We get to see Nathan on December 27th!!!
Yay, right?? Yes, yay!! But also, OMG I'm going to have a panic attack. We're invited to their family dinner that night. We, obviously, are going.
What's the problem?? I get to see Nathan, right?? The problem isn't with seeing Nathan. Its the fact that their ENTIRE family is going to be there. I've only ever met Stefanie ((adoptive mom)), Rob ((adoptive father)) and Stefanie's mom. That's it.
I'm having a panic attack and its only the 23rd!!!
What if they don't like me??
What if they hate me??
What if they look at me like I'm some horrible mother because I gave my youngest son up for adoption??
I have so many what ifs going through my head, I think I'm going to be sick.
I can't wait to see Nathan. But I'm scared to meet the rest of their families. They say we're apart of their family now, but what if everyone else in their family hates me?!?! I don't know if I can do this!!
Someone tell me I can do this!! Someone tell me I'm just overreacting.
I'm going to see Nathan. That's what I keep telling myself. I'm going to see my baby, hug him, hold him, cuddle him, kiss him. I just keep reminding myself of that.
I'm going, dammit!! The hell with my anxiety disorder. I'll probably been in panic attack mode 90% of the time we're there, but dammit, I'M GOING TO SEE MY BABY!!! ♥
Who wants to see a couple videos of Nathan???
If Tumblr will let me upload them?!?! Stefanie sent me videos!!!
One is of Nathan sitting up all by himself
The other is of Nathan "talking" to me!! :)
I'll try uploading them real quick!!