#philza x reader

[wrenthewriterishere]

mcyt (wilbur, quackity, Phil and anyone else you may like) soft lauching you?

:p

Wilbur Soot

He’s 100% doing it on purpose and finds it hilarious that his chat is spiraling.

Starts off subtle — like posting a photo of “his view” with your hand in frame holding coffee.

Mentions “we” in passing during streams (“Yeah, we made pasta last night—uh, I mean I… cooked… pasta…”).

Chat catches it instantly, of course.

He keeps up the bit for weeks — blurry photos, songs about “someone” — until one day he posts a selfie where you’re clearly visible in the reflection of his glasses. “Oops.”

Later, when people ask if you’re dating, he just smirks and says, “I think the soft launch went well, don’t you?”

Quackity

He thinks soft launching is the funniest possible challenge.

You’re always just barely out of frame during IRL content — a hand passing him food, laughter off-camera, or a second drink visible on the table.

Constantly gaslights chat about it.Chat: “WHO’S LAUGHING???” Quackity: “That’s my dog.”

Then posts a photo dump captioned “good weekend 🖤” — first three pics are memes, last one’s your silhouette against the sunset.

When people start overanalyzing, he quote-tweets someone’s theory with “this is crazy 😭😭😭” — like he’s notthe one causing it.

Philza

He doesn’t really mean to soft launch — he’s just naturally private.

You start showing up in the background of cooking streams, tidying up or laughing with the cats.

Chat’s like “PHIL WHO IS THAT” and he’s like “oh, just a friend :)” but the fond smile betrays him instantly.

Eventually posts a cozy pic of two mugs and a blanket with the caption “autumn mornings 🧡.”

Everyone knows. Nobody says anything. The vibes are immaculate.

Technoblade

The definition of unintentional soft launch.

Mentions offhandedly that someone “stole his hoodie,” or “made the best steak last night,” and his audience is just losing it.

When chat starts picking up on it, he gets increasingly flustered.“No, chat, there’s no— it’s not a— stop making conspiracy boards!”

Posts a photo of a cat on his lap — but eagle-eyed fans notice an extra pair of legs under the blanket.

Months later: “So uh, yeah, she exists.”

It’s the most deadpan “announcement” imaginable. You’re probably sitting next to him laughing quietly while he tries to keep a straight face.

[grillmesumchicken]

Techno’s Bacon

Y/N: *Checks fridge* Out of bacon? Techno, I need your bacon!

Techno: *Grabs sword* Back off!

THE

END

[prrism]

Night Time Cuddles

Summary: I can’t sleep so have some random fluff with my favourite duo I guess… (I miss their dynamic so much) It’s a shorter one this time around

Characters: Emerald Duo and Reader

Relationship: platonic

Sleep was getting harder and harder for you to achieve with a sigh you throw your sheets off of you and trudge over to the kitchen, maybe a late night snack will ease your mind… it doesn’t, if anything you feel more antsy now then before. Looking out the window to the cold tundra outside already makes you shiver. Why couldn’t you just sleep? It used to be so easy, now you find it a struggle and it irritates you.

“You alright, mate?” You jump at the sudden voice, looking over at Phil who had looked just as wake as you, if not more tired.

“Umm, yeah, I’m fine. Just having trouble getting to sleep is all.” You admit, finding no reason to lie about your situation.

“Ah.” He nods in understanding. “We know a thing or two about late nights with little sleep.” He adds. You’re about to question who “we” is referring two but the creak of the cabin door and the entrance of your anarchist friend answer that question for you.

“Hey Phil.” Techno greets before looking at you, raising an eyebrow in a silent question.

“Couldn’t get to sleep, thought a snack might help, it didn’t.” You say plain and simple. He nods and properly welcomes himself inside. “So, you two meet up often late in the evenings.” You ask.

“Better to be awake with company then sit alone with your thoughts.” Phil says.

“Especially when they won’t stop saying the same thing over and over again.” Techno huffs, more annoyed than anything. You breathe a small laugh at his comment.

“Fair enough. What do you two usually do?”

“Just chat.” Phil replies.

“You ask a lot of questions.” Techno eyes you in playful suspicion.

“Just being curious, not like I’m gonna turn you in for chatting with a friend. I mean, heaven forbid you do something like that.” You earn a soft chuckle from the two of them.

“Well you’re chatting with us, so I guess we’ll have to turn you in too.” Techno jokes back, getting a chuckle out of you.

At some point while talking with them you’d migrated onto the couch, time becoming irrelevant as the three of you just talked about random things like what you did during the day or what sorta trouble people on the SMP were getting themselves into. You shift yourself between the two, one moment your snuggled next to Phil, his good wing wrapped around you like a blanket, the next you’ve shifted over to lean against Techno, using his cape like a blanket. No one’s arguing, they’d let you shift from one to the other seamlessly while you all continued with conversation, simply enjoying each others company from the late hours of the night into early hours of the morning.

Finally, finally you felt the tug of sleep ebb at you, letting yourself doze off in the comfort and safety of your friends.

[magicalbunbun]

The watcher is so prettysmash

Whatttt??? (((^^;;

Philza really out here milking the watcher for content

SPOTTING THE WATCHER | 3 AM | SO SCARY | NOT CLICKBAIT!!!

And the plushy ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

Gib pls ☆ ～('▽^人)

I gib you (*＾3＾)/～☆

(Not a ship.)

[a-capricorn-ohfuckthat]

philza: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

tommy: Several traffic violations.

techno: Three counts of resisting arrest.

wilbur: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

y/n: Also, that’s not our car.

[killmurderfuck]

VALENTINES DAY WITH THE SBI <3

• You hadn't been with the Sleepy Boys for too long, being a guest they had taken in until further notice had that affect after all, so when valentines day rolled around, you hardly noticed at first

• The only thing that clued you in at first was the way Wilbur used it as an excuse to share his plethora of sappy love songs

• Not to say he didn't already do that on the regular—he just had an excuse this particular day

• Chances are he ushers you, Phil, Tommy and Techno onto the living couch while he sits opposite all of you, strumming a tune about a mysterious stranger that had stolen his heart (often times maintaining soft eye contact with you all the while)—only pausing at the end to enthusiastically ask your opinions

• "I think it was shit. Where's all the men and the money and the riches Wil."

• "Tommy, I swear to god mate. One of these days, Wil's gonna smack you upside the head and I'm not gonna do anything about it."

• Tommy has spent every valentines day so far pretending to throw up at every romantic gesture he happens to stumble across according to Phil. Even if it's just a pink heart.

• He had been doing this ever since anyone could remember apparently, so it was to be expected at this point

• Secretly, though, he likes to think about everyone's reactions to him giving them a flower. He'd give you a daisy specificly, probably braiding a few stray ones into a flower crown for your hair like Tubbo had taught him. But he eventually decides that would be too babyish, and resorts back parading around the house while whining about love and how stupid it was

• Unlike Tommy's drastic change in behavior however, the only difference between normal Techno and Techno on valentines day, is that if you asked him enough times, he would read some of his greek mythology books out loud to you

• "Heyyyy Techno. Nice weather were having huh?"

• "S litteraly stormin outside (Y/n)."

• "Uh. Well. Rain, er, am I right?"

• "Jus' get in here so I can read to you already."

• Funnily enough, he always chose romance stories. Or at the very least, the few happy ones that existed in mythology, just for you

• The tale of Eros and Psyche happened to be your favorite. And each time you asked, Techno would turn back to the beginning to read it again, a faint smile on his face at your own

• At one point Wilbur had passed by Technos room, momentarily seeing through the cracked door the sight of you laying your head in Technos lap gently as he read to you

• Later when he brought it up to the pinkette, he had gotten a book thrown at his head and was told to never mention that to Phil

• Phil himself spends most of valentines day looking out the window and up into the sky quietly, petting one of his crows slowly. Like he was waiting for something. Someone.

• But in the meantime, while he waited, Phil was perfectly happy with his wild family and the stranger from the woods they had taken in, heart bursting with love for them all

[averytiredfanfictionwriter]

Masterlist of fandoms that have died/been dead that I've written for.

DSMP

I Don’t Even Care About You Hypnotized (part two of ‘I Don’t Even Care About You’) Life After Death The Immortals (series masterlist) Sic Semper Tyrannis (link to alternate ending here) Clan (Technoblade x demon!reader, Philza x demon!reader) Home (c!Tommyinnit x platonic!Reader)

[unhonest-iago]

Birds & the Bees

Synopsis; how the birds & the bees conversation goes w/ Philza, Jschlatt, & Techno (separately)

Philza

Awkward as f, uses the word ‘mate’ a lot (not meaning friend), mentions how some species mate for life and how that could apply to hybrids

'be careful who you canoodle with, some species mate for life'

'i remember when i first met my mate, the goddess of death'

'i don't know about foxes but crows mate for life'

you know, the usual amount of trauma that comes from the birds and the bees talk

Jschlatt

Absolute worst, is drunk when he gives the talk

Goes into so much graphic detail

Doesn’t even cover stuff that he should; like how certain types of lubes can only be applied to toys based on material

Wasn’t going to even give you the talk until he remembered his dad giving him the talk and figured he should get it out of the way

Passed out afterwards, never bringing it up or mentioning it again

It ends up being one of the few memories you have when he dies

Techno

Probably doesn’t bother to give the talk as he thinks you’re old enough to know the consequences of unsafe sex

That said, he’s comfortable answering any questions, as he’ll probably just hand you a book that has the information

Not the ‘your body is changing’ type but like a genuine thing or at the very least craft up a pamphlet for ya

Keeps it short and sweet