Everyone makes mistakes? | Self Para |
Katherine knew she shouldn't have done it. It was a terrible mistake. She wasn't even sure she meant half of the things she said, but at the time, she let her jealousy get the best of her. Just seeing Rose here, seeing how beautiful she was...Something inside of her snapped. She'd never said anything more malicious in her life.
The only thing you're good for involves a bed.
Hearing her own voice say those nasty words shook her to the bone. Why? Why had she done it? She had Michael, why did she feel the need to bring Nathan into it? He wasn't even here yet, and already he was causing her drama! She couldn't understand what it was inside of her that made her want to be so vindictive, so spiteful, so...so...Exactly on Rose's level.
Did she have respect for the girl? No. Absolutely none. Truthfully, she believed her words to be true. She knew the real Nathan, underneath the terrible decisions and player ways. She knew he was an honest person, with a big heart and so much love to give. She knew it the moment she looked in his eyes. And she knew he deserved someone better than Rose.
Rose was a mean, cold-hearted witch. What kind of person just walks in and feels that entitled? Sure, she had reason enough to dislike Katherine, but why would she go out of her way to be so hateful? And to hit her...This was the second time in her life she'd been slapped, and both had happened on this show. The first one had been completely random and uncalled for, but Katherine should have seen it coming from Rose. She practically asked for it. But that didn't mean she would take back what she said.
Was she sorry? Yes. Yes, a thousand times yes. At the time, she enjoyed the look on Rose's face when she'd said the things she did. But now? Now she felt terrible. They were true, and Katherine honestly believed that Nathan didn't want to be with Rose. He was so absolutely unapologetic about what he did to her, only a fool would believe he wanted to be with the other girl. But still, a very large part of Katherine wished she hadn't said it. She meant it, but she shouldn't have voiced it. She never wanted to be the cause of someone's pain, and she could see beyond all the fury in Rose's eyes that it had actually hurt her.
She was probably going to have to call Stella off like a dog when she found out. She was her best friend and she knew that she would light Rose up the minute she saw the red mark on her cheek. So that was why Katherine was sitting alone on the beach.
It was getting dark, so no one was really out there, aside from couples walking hand in hand to watch the falling sun. What would happen when Michael found out? Would he be mad? Would he question her feelings for him?
This wouldn't be the first time Nate had come up. Without even trying, she was continuously throwing her ex-boyfriend in her new boyfriend's face. It wasn't that she still wanted to be with him, because she didn't. Nathan was just the only person she had to compare things to. Maybe she shouldn't be making comparisons, but it just happened. And every time she did it, she became more and more aware of just how much better Michael was.
He was compassionate, funny, sincere, he endured her weird parts, and even had some of his own... Michael was the type of person she could see herself with for a very long time. But still, she found herself doing stupid things to mess it up. Like why did she feel so pressured to have sex with him? It wasn't like he was constantly pulling at her pants or something. Every time they touched, she felt fire she never had before, and it was driving her insane. But when she voiced it, it just came out all wrong and probably confused the hell out of him.
Welcome to my life, one confused mess.
She threw a rock into the water, feeling the need to do something rather than just sit here. Of course it didn't skip, what with the waves and all, but that didn't stop her from remembering her first night with Nate.
She groaned and placed her head on her knees, feeling hot tears roll down her cheeks. How could she have been so stupid? She let herself get wrapped up in a boy, and then she let him break her heart. And no matter what Rose tried to say, Katherine was hurt just as badly as she was. Because in all honesty, it didn't matter who came first. He tricked both of them into loving him, and everyone got hurt.
Sometimes Katherine wished she never met Nate. Sometimes she wished she was still that doe-eyed girl who'd hardly kissed a boy. But the more she thought like that, the more she realized that she would never have met the most wonderful person. Michael. No, the reason for their meeting was anything but positive. But that didn't mean that things between them were real. Michael was good. He was kind, caring, loving...He was everything Nate pretended to be. He was everything she needed. Everything she wanted.
So why couldn't she stop messing things up?
