Unexpected Longing (2)
Summary: Jimmy Palmer x fe!Reader -> Jimmy is there for you when you need him, and as time goes on, things start to develop.
Disclaimer: Part one is here. Some swearing, brief appearance from shitty exes, the team being a family, mutual pining, yearning, friends to lovers, might do a part 3, domestic fluff, fluff, and an elevator kiss.
You woke up to a bright light behind a warm curtain.
Taking a couple of minutes before you rolled from your side onto your back, you felt like you’d been given a breath of fresh air. You had been a lot more exhausted than you’d realised.
You hadn’t even spent twenty minutes overthinking about your day, your life or even the fact that you were sleeping at Jimmy’s.
Jimmy.
Suddenly you could register the feeling of the soft cotton t-shirt you were wearing, as well as the shorts; both belonging to him. The bedsheets, as well as your clothes, smelled of him.
You hadn’t realised just how…comforting it was.
But your ability to remain calm disappeared for a few minutes when you heard a loud clatter coming from his kitchen.
Tearing the covers from you, you rushed across the soft carpet, down the runner of the hallway and down the staircase. “Jimmy?”
It wasn’t until you were in the kitchen that he heard you.
“Shoot.”
“Are you okay?” Tucking your hair behind your ear, you crouched down to help him pick up the random pots and pans that had seemingly fallen out of the cupboard.
“I didn’t wake you, did I?”
You shook your head, “No. No, not at all. I woke up, like, twenty minutes ago. What happened?”
Standing with Jimmy, who you noticed was also dressed in his pajamas, you handed him the different pots, pans and lids you’d picked up.
“I was looking for the- ah.” Jimmy held it up. “The frying pan. I kind of did a deep clean a few days ago. It helped me clear my head.”
You chuckled a little. “Why did you need to clear your head?”
“Uhh,” Jimmy was hiding something, that much you knew. “Nothing important. Just…general stuff. Are you sure I didn’t wake you?”
You nodded, “I’m sure.”
After all the commotion to start the day, Jimmy hadn’t noticed just how…well you looked in his clothes. For a moment, he thought it had awakened something primitive in him; some kind of cave-man needed to see you in his clothes and only his clothes.
If any clothes, at all.
Clearing his throat, he averted his gaze from the beauty of your morning glow and turned back to the stove. “Well, now that you are, fancy some breakfast?”
You smiled. “Love some. Want me to make coffee?”
“Sure. Coffee grounds are-”
“Found ‘em,” you announced, finding the clear air-tight container. Within a few minutes, the coffee machine was letting out a deep hum and the smell of fresh coffee.
From Jimmy’s end of the kitchen, you also got the fresh smell of cooked bacon and eggs.
Over morning breakfast, Jimmy shared his morning newspaper with you. And after a rather blissful shower, he drove both of you back to work.
“You are kidding!” You were laughing, walking beside Jimmy as you both stepped off the elevator.
Jimmy was laughing, too. “I wish I was. But it gets worse-”
“Oh, my god! How?”
“Well– oh.”
Suddenly, the little bubble you and Jimmy seemed to have created burst.
Inside the bullpen, you found both your ex and ex best friend standing by your desk. Meanwhile, Ellie, Nick and McGee were standing in a row, giving them evils.
And you instinctively reached out for Palmer.
“Want me to stay?” He asked, quietly.
You hummed, quietly, whilst gently squeezing his hand.
“I’m right here,” he assured you.
“Thank you,” you told him, both quickly and quietly, before walking past the dividers of Ellie’s desk and to the main walkway of your team’s area.
“Hi,” Sarah, your ex best friend, smiled.
You looked to the other three on your team, internally grateful they were there first to greet them.
“Can-can we talk?”
“Sure. We can talk here.”
Both Sarah, and your ex, Matt, stood there looking at each other before looking around.
“They’re federal agents,” you told them both. “I’d be telling them anyway, but even if I didn’t, they could find out.”
You watched as Sarah wiped down her hand before smiling in Jimmy’s direction.
It was the first time in your life you’d felt true…anger? Jealousy? All you knew is that you didn’t want her smiling at your friend.
“Hi, I’m-”
“Why are you here?” You cut in.
Matt smiled at you, and it made Jimmy’s back tense. “Always straight to the point, Y/n.”
“Considering you left her for her liar of a best friend,” Ellie cut in, standing by your side. “She should have buried you in a very deep grave. Be lucky she’s even letting you talk at all.”
From behind her, Nick gently pulled her away. “Sorry,” he apologised to you before turning to the couple standing behind him. “I hate you, both.”
As Nick placed Ellie at her desk, Mcgee sitting on the desk with them, you turned back to the couple.
“I won’t ask again.”
Sarah stepped forward a little. “We wanted to apologise again. And also ask you something.”
You looked between the couple. There could only be two reasons they were in an NCIS building, looking for you, in order to ask you something. One was that they needed something investigating, and the second was glaringly obvious on her hand.
You prayed to God it wasn’t either.
“We were hoping to,” Sarah reached back and held Matt’s hand, lovingly. “Get your official blessing. Matt has asked me to marry him.”
From behind you, you heard Ellie gasp and stand before Nick placed a hand on her shoulder and pushed her back into her seat. They were in a federal building; there could be no blood shed.
“And I was hoping you would say yes to being my maid of honour.”
From behind you, there were four very loud questions of, “What?”.
You could only stare at them in disbelief. What the actual fuck?
But, as a million different responses ran through your mind, your body fell into one very odd reaction.
You started laughing. Bent over, gasping for air, tears rolling down your face, laughing.
“You’re asking-” You laughed. “For my blessing?”
You really couldn’t stop. It was just too hilarious.
“I’d ask where was that question when you left me on our wedding day,” you told Matt. “But…Jesus, I can’t help but think how fucking lucky I am to dodge your fucking bullet.” You motioned between the pair of them to clarify.
“And where the hell do you get off by asking me to be your maid of honour?” You laughed.
Sarah seemed a little put out. “Every girl dreams of her best friend being at her wedding.”
You nodded. “Sure they do. But things change when she learns that the same best friend was sleeping with her husband-to-be at least three months before the wedding.”
The laughing had subsided slowly, but there was still a slightly psychotic edge to the look in your eyes and the tone of your voice. A part of you still wanted to laugh.
“Sure,” you agreed. “You have my blessing. Get married, live your lives. Get married and have lots of children and tell them how you guys met! Tell them your oh-so-great love story. Get married to the lying best friend, get married to the cheating scum of my ex-fiance who proposed on the honeymoon we were meant to go on.”
“How did you know-”
You smiled, “Get married, live your lives!” Then you added, as the laughter disappeared and the tension in the room tripled, “Just don’t ask me to be a part of it. Ever. Again.”
A short silence settled over the group before the smell of Gibbs’ coffee wandered through your senses.
“I suggest you two do as she says,” Gibbs said. “Before I turn my back and let her and her family do what they’ve been thinking about since you both betrayed her trust.”
Sarah seemed to get offended. “But her family love-”
“That’s not the family I was talking about.”
Looking around nervously, Sarah and Matt took in the sinister glares of the team around you. That was when Matt noticed you were holding Jimmy’s hand.
“You moved on?”
Suddenly, a hand connected with the back of his neck and Gibbs forced Matt to look at him. “You don’t get to ask her that. Now leave. Mcgee?”
“Already on it,” he said. “Security is on their way.”
Matt and Sarah didn’t seem to move. Even when the security turned up.
“Leave.” Gibbs repeated only once and they made their escorted exits out of the building.
As they finally did leave, Ellie immediately walked over to you and hugged you tight. Which was quickly followed by Jimmy, then Tim and Nick.
As the group hug dissolved away, Gibbs looked at you before hugging you. “You okay?”
You nodded. “I think I actually am.”
“They’re assholes. You deserve better.”
You smiled a little as the hug ended. “I already have better,” you said, looking around at your family. “Thank you for your help.”
“You didn’t need it,” Nick told you. “You’re kind of a psycho badass."
“But you’ll always have it,” Ellie added. Nick and the others agreed.
It wasn’t long before another case came across the team’s desk and you all got back to work.
And, oddly, it was nice.
After the morning you’d had with Jimmy, followed by the baffling but cathartic encounter with your past, and getting back to work; you felt free, again.
Steadily, over the following months you got back into dating (although none went past more than a couple of dates), finished renovating your home to be exactly how you wanted it, and spent more time in the labs with Jimmy (and Ducky).
As Ducky was starting to give you another impromptu history lesson – ones you’d come to appreciate more over the last few months – you found yourself zoning out.
You didn’t really know when it had begun. There were moments that stood out in your mind but some you didn’t want to fully accept because it meant they were also scarred by bigger emotional feelings at the time.
But you’d taken a deep interest in Jimmy Palmer.
Your co-worker of…however many years. And close friend, the same.
You knew Ducky knew about your work crush as, by the time you zoned back in, he was giving you the same look he’d been giving you for weeks.
A rather English look of; “I know you haven’t been listening to me, and I know why.”
“Sorry, Ducky.”
“Miss Y/l/n.” Oh, god, you were in trouble. “If you wish to stare at Doctor Palmer, might I suggest you try taking a picture. I’m sure it will last a lot longer.”
Your eyes widened as you looked between him and Jimmy who was busy with something on the other side of the room. Ducky had kept his voice quiet, intentionally.
“My dear, if I can clearly see how you look at him, then so should he. All you have to do is simply ask.”
“Ask him what?”
“I think you know.”
“Got it!” Palmer exclaimed across the room before jumping into his explanation of evidence.
As he made his way back to you, you could barely look him in the eye as you took the file from him. Clearing your throat, you excused yourself to go back to the bullpen and tell the others what the medical team had found.
“Ducky, can I ask you a personal question?”
“Of course, my boy.”
“Do you think everything’s okay with Y/n?”
He smiled to himself. Yourself and Doctor Palmer were two of the brightest minds he’d ever met. And yet, somehow the pair of you seemed to only have one brain cell.
“It’s just…we usually hang out and talk and stuff but she’s been kinda…distant?”
“She is a lady, Doctor Palmer.” Ducky told him. “And also an Agent of this establishment. I’m sure she’s just got a lot on her mind.”
“I don’t know.” Jimmy chewed the inside of his cheek as his hands came to his hips. “Something just seems…off. I’ve seen her in the field. I’ve seen her when she’s upset and when she’s happy. I’ve even seen her when she’s still trying to figure out what to feel.”
“Your point, Doctor?”
“This feels different.”
“Perhaps it feels different, because it is.”
If Ducky was a gossip, he would tell people – especially Palmer – that he’d seen the look in your eyes when you were in your last relationship. And he’d also seen the look in your eyes every time you looked at Jimmy, long before you even recognised it yourself.
Only one of those looks were true to your soul, and it wasn’t when you looked at your ex-fiance.
A day or so later, Jimmy asked you if everything was okay between both of you. He’d managed to catch you in the elevator as you left work. You’d replied happily enough, but something was still niggling at him.
Like looking at a picture and knowing something was out of place.
It took two long weeks of that same feeling, and you being unable to make eye contact for longer than three seconds with him, before he finally figured it out.
“Hey, heading home?” He asked you as he stopped by your desk on the way to the elevator.
Another case had just been wrapped up and the others had gone home around ten minutes before he reached your desk.
“Yeah,” you said, packing away your belongings. “I can finish my paperwork tomorrow. I can practically hear my bed calling me.”
Jimmy smiled and replied ‘goodnight’ when you said it to him. But, before he could think to stop himself, he called out after you.
“Actually, do you have five minutes to talk?”
You looked around. There wasn’t anyone left in the office. Just yourself and Jimmy.
“Sure. What’s up?”
“I need you to talk to me,” he told you.
You were a little confused but nodded. “Okay?”
“No, I mean–” Jimmy took a breath. He hadn’t really planned what he would say to you when he finally caught up to you. “I know you said everything was fine between us, but my gut has been screaming at me for three weeks that something is…off. And I want you to talk to me. Has something happened?”
“Jimmy.” You were at a loss for words, really. You’d been racking your brains for months trying to figure out what you would say to Jimmy if you ever felt brave enough.
“If I’ve done something, or if I’ve upset you in anyway-”
You shook your head, “You’ve not upset me. No, it’s-”
“-then I’m sorry. But please just tell me. Please? Because…because I miss my best friend–”
“-It’s nothing you’ve done–”
“-And if it’s a girl thing or you don’t feel comfortable telling me–”
“-Jimmy, would you let me–”
“-then please talk to Ellie? Because I know she’s getting concerned, too and-”
A hundred different options flicked through your brain as yourself and Jimmy talked over one another, worried about hurting the other’s feelings. And yet, despite those hundred different options, your brain seemed to pick one for you.
Suddenly, you kissed him.
And everything fell silent.
Pulling away, you slowly removed your hands from his face and stepped back just as panic started to set in.
“Sorry,” you apologised. “I shouldn’t have-”
“Did you just-”
“-kissed you.”
“-kiss me?”
You swallowed. “Ohh, my god. I didn’t– I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have…I didn’t even know I was going to do that. I’m sorry.”
Jimmy managed to find a few words to speak with. “Is…is this why you haven’t been yourself?”
“I-I should probably just…” You hitched a thumb over your shoulder, willing your body not to flee the scene in the most drastic way possible.
“Please answer me?” Jimmy didn’t move from the spot where he was standing, but he did reach out.
For a moment, and only for a moment, everything didn’t seem to dire. The building didn’t feel like it was on fire or that the floor was about to collapse from underneath you.
But, as you tried to explain it to Jimmy, those feelings started creeping back up.
“Yes,” you blurted out. “I-I don’t know when it- the feelings. I don’t know when they started. I’m guessing a couple months, but it could also be longer.”
“A couple months?”
You were worried he was angry.
“I-I know. I know, and I’m sorry. And I’m sorry that I just…” You have to wave your hand between yourself and Jimmy, unable to say the word ‘kiss’. “It was unprofessional and also just completely stupid on my part. We’re friends– well, I guess we were friends before I just…screwed it up. Is it-” You pulled at your collar. “Is it getting hot in here? They really need to fix the AC in this place, right?”
You were laughing out of nerves as your legs carried you backwards.
“Look, you can just…forget about the whole thing. I-I will find a way to get rid of them. I’m sure it’s just a silly, little, work crush and-”
You were starting to back away towards the elevator. “-And if you want to ignore me for the rest of your life, feel free to do so. I-I’m sure it’ll help. There’s probably a study on the proximity of co-workers causing stupid work crushes, right?”
You felt hot from your toes to your head.
“So-so-so I’ll just…I’ll just go and we can…we can move on? Sounds like a plan, right?”
Jimmy nodded a little as he watched the elevator doors close on you. “Sounds like a plan.”
As the doors closed tightly and the elevator started moving to the ground floor, you leaned against the rail and held your head in your hands.
What the hell were you thinking? Why did you kiss him?! How many times did you have to say ‘crush’? You felt like you were fourteen again – awkward and nervous and terrified and more awkward.
He kissed you back, your head told you. But you tried your hardest not to listen. It was wrong. There was no reason for him to kiss you back. No reason at all.
But he did. He probably felt pressured. His hand held your waist. By accident.
As the elevator hit the ground floor, you tried to get yourself together.
Which worked for about three seconds.
Because, as the doors to the elevator opened, Jimmy was already standing there. He was completely out of breath, but his posture seemed controlled nonetheless.
“What are you-” The question started slipping out of your mouth before you could fully register Jimmy had run down the stairs to get to you.
He shook his head as he entered the elevator, reaching out to hold you.
“I don’t want to ignore you for the rest of my life,” he told you, quickly, before kissing you as the elevator doors closed once again.
