Final Badbye👋 [ MarkLee ] drabble ⭕
Pairing - Mark Lee X female!reader
[ although it's written in first person ]
Genre - boyfriend!au ; Breakup
Warning - nobody sees a breakup coming lol
Rated - Angst
Word count - 1k
I opened the car door feebly. The light coming from the headlights was just enough for me to sidle into the passenger's seat. There was no moonlight; I guess the sky was going through a dark phase too. I turned my head to see Mark; he was looking straight ahead with empty eyes or so I felt. He put up all the windows and turned on the air conditioner on max, as soon as I closed the car door. My sleeveless dress was hardly any protection against it. But it wasn't the cold air that was killing me; it was Mark's cold heart.
He started the engine, still staring at the empty boulevard. Oh how I wished he would just look at me. My tear stained face, my ruffled hair, fidgety hands and watery eyes. But he didn't. He didn't care. The man who cared for me so much, suddenly decided to not care anymore. Like the feelings were never real, like "we" were never real.
This caused more tears to fall into my lap as I hung my head down. My dress soaked up the tears so quickly. I wish something would just soak up all the pain too.
Mark and I had been in a relationship for two years. We were like any other couple. Both of us would sometimes go out of our ways to contribute to the relationship. We were happy together. We were always fighting for our relationship. We were in it together, we were the A team.
Until Mark decided that he did not want a relationship anymore and that he needed to focus on his career to build a future he had conveniently crumpled and discarded me from.
We had broken up that evening and he was driving me back home. It was way past midnight or so I hoped. Nightfall always calmed me down but just like all my efforts, it was failing too.My train of thoughts was interrupted by Mark's voice.
"I know you're disappointed in me, Y/n. I'm sorry that this- we had to end like this. I never meant for things to get so out of hand. I just want what is best for both of us." Mark said glancing at me just once perhaps to make sure I believed him.
"Disappointed? I'm not disappointed Mark, I'm hurt and I am in pain and I just want to be happy again. I gave you my everything and that was not enough. I was not enough. You made things so difficult Mark but I'm glad you ended it." I did not mean that. I could never mean that. I just wanted to fool myself into believing that I did not love him. I wanted to laugh at my misery because it was a nightmare that was becoming my reality. I never even imagined this could happen."I couldn't have lived with you anymore either. Not when I know that you don't see me anywhere in your future you're so eager to build" My voice was weak at first but then I was almost shouting at Mark while hot tears marked my face. The air conditioner was already making me feel sick.
Mark parked the car and slammed his hands on the steering wheels. We had surprisingly reached the parking lot of my apartment.
"Y/n, please don't do this to me. Please don't say those things."
All my anger melted into oblivion as Mark turned towards me to look at me with his doe eyes filled with unshed tears.
"Mark, I understand you have work and everything. I will try to be more cooperative. I am not ready to give up on us. Please tell me you never meant that. Let us get back to our old life. Just please tell me it was a bad dream" I said as I reached out to hug him tightly. I buried my face into Mark's shoulder and let myself cry silently. He sighed into my hair. I was hoping he'd just forget every hurtful thing we had said to each other that night. I just wanted him to hold me just as tight as I was. I wanted him to tell me that he loved me just enough times to make me forget about all this pain.
"Y/n, let us break up" Mark said, his voice cracking.
I was suddenly aware of how cold my hands were. My feet were freezing in my old vans. For the first time I felt Mark's body so cold. I was aware of the denim material of his jacket; the cold metal button pressing into my neck but I didn't feel that they were on Mark's body. All feelings of safety and embrace that I felt with Mark, ebbed away. He was so close to me but he was so distant. My heart ripped into two and I screamed. You better believe I did. My screams filled my mind, heart and soul. My body looked lifeless from outside but my insides were a storm. Ironically, we were still in a tight embrace, disrespecting the fact that we had cut all the strings.
At that moment I wanted to hold on to Mark with all my strength but then I wanted to run away from him as far as I could. Mark pulled away from the embrace, trails of tears staining his cheeks.
I looked into his eyes one more time for what felt like an eternity. I could feel nothing. He didn't feel anything for me. It was clear, his eyes gave me all the confirmation I could ask for.
I got out of the car silently. I walked towards the elevator door, my back to the car. My stupid heart was still hoping to hear Mark's voice. My mind was numb with pain and I felt feverish. I heard a car engine start as I got into the elevator. I pressed the elevator button and saw the car drive away from hindsight. The elevator door closed excruciatingly slow until it finally blocked my view completely. I hung my head low, my hand fumbling with the hem of my dress. I thought, "This is it. That was our final goodbye".