the problem with avoidance is that sometimes it literally works
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the problem with avoidance is that sometimes it literally works
Finding people who actually see you and make you feel like you can take the mask off, who continue to let you get to know them and who still want to get to know you and spend time with you >>>>
My auditory processing issues make me so mysterious and sexy (I have no idea what you are saying to me)
neurodivergence + self awareness ?
can problems with self-awareness (too much, too little, too inconsistent / extreme back and forth) come from neurodivergence ??
if it can, do you think people et. al avoid talking abt this experience, or is it just not as known cuz how having a disordered self-awareness makes it hard to think/talk about clearly and objectively ??
in a hypothetical accessible society, would disordered self-awareness still be “disordered” beyond “ordinary” clumsiness, social awkwardness, overthinking, other quirks/flaws, etc ??
what’s a “healthy” level of self-awareness, anyway ??
i do often wonder when it crosses from paranoia (regular) to paranoia (delusion)
It will never not be funny to me when teachers think being tough on me will get me to be a decent student. Dude, I've been humiliated, insulted, and punished at school since I can remember myself. Someone yelling at me at fucking 8AM in the morning won't get me to pay attention and remember the endless information thrown at me. Nothing can make me do that. Your "tough love" isn't working. You're just making me hate myself even more.
there are 3 ways i experience emotions and it only ever happens in this order:
i just know i have it, no i dont actually get to feel it i just get a notif in my head that says "you are feeling x emotion" thats it
overanalyzing everything about myself and realizing im feeling a certain way, is a signal that my emotions are starting to get overwhelming for me but still not unrecoverable
the emotion gets so strong that i actually get to feel it and its Always too overwhelming for me and makes me feel physical pain, doesnt matter if its negative or positive or whatever else i want it Gone