#neagtivity

[thesoultherapyblog]

Day 2 Think and Act Purposefully

Obsessively replaying a scenario. We often ruminate about a problem we face obsessively playing and replaying the scenario in our mind. We tend to believe that rumination will help us overcome discomfort or unhappiness but it only makes the scenario worse. On the other hand puroposeful thinking through writing in a joyrnal or verbalizing our thoughts is a better way of dealing with emotional and psychological challenges. Purposeful action actually doing somethong that could make us feel better is a lot more helpful than allowing chaotic and negative thinking to wreak havoc on our emotions.

[allslost]

One...goal of these classes has been to make clear that negativity is intrinsic (rather than antagonistic) to sociality and subjectivity...and this makes a world of difference politically.

Gut Feminism, Elizabeth Wilson (6)

 talking about teaching No Future by Lee Edelman

[crybabyforhire]

Sometimes I wonder if im doing the right thing by going back to school.

It's expensive and im going to be in debt once I get out.

I just feel like im not worth the debt or experience. I should just get a full time job and work 9-5, 5 days a week like everyone else.

[angel-armed]

I wanted to learn to be soft, but the trauma even ruins that. I can be gentle and warm, but thanks to trauma I can’t be aggressive or stand up for myself-- to the point where my brain makes my own desires give me the same response as if I had made an attack on someone else. 

Idek what my quality of life really is anymore. Generally I’m content and want for very little. What passion I feel is tied up inside of me and no one wants it. I wish I could be something or someone else without losing myself in the process. I wish I could be aggressive with my desires without feeling like a monster, or like I’m somehow losing or giving in-- ending up being patronized or, fucked just because I wanted it. I wish I wasn’t so in-tune to other constantly changing-on-a-breath moods that I can’t have any of my own. I want to be devastating and can’t seem to settle for less.

I haven’t been allowed to feel anything in a long time. When I focus on what I feel or want I become inattentive which is honestly fine sometimes, but I hate what comes of it so I won’t. If I don’t at least try to constantly be responsible, I end up feeling like everything falling apart will be my fault... again. Or something like that. 

Writing and games are a good enough distraction that I don’t actually have to think about any of this most of the time. 

[caedharlowe]

“Korra and Asami are actually bi, not lesbian.” “Do we really need to have a semantics battle here?” - hey there friendo buddy ol’ pal that is not a semantic

[kii-mani]

Wake Up :)

Once upon a time..in lil quite village lived lil girl in a big warm house with a lovely family and a farm filled with animals.. Lil girl loved waking up every morning with the sun raise smelling her mom cooking breakfast, yummy eggs and warm milk.. wash her face and wear one of her beloved sun dresses and run down the stairs with the biggest smile ever, to find her family sitting around the table and waiting for their lil girl.. after that she goes out to the farm with her dad, they feed the animals, take care of them and she loves to play with them.. especially Alfa, a baby horse they own.. Lil girl was happy..simple life, routine life but she loved every sec of it.. One day while she was heading to sleep she heard her mom screaming in pain she run to her room to find her dad carrying her and told her they r heading to the hospital and her aunt is coming to take her to her house till her mom is better, lil girl was in panic.. seeing her mom in pain made her so scared that she cried and cried till her aunt arrived and took her to her house.. The sun raised already and for the first time no breakfast smell, only gas smell and the car moving sound.. lil girl looked out of the window, yes the sun raised but all the houses they passed by were sleep yet..it was a sad view.. then the car stopped and she entered a dark colored house, her aunt house with all the lights still closed only rays of sun is passing by the windows.. She felt unease, following her aunt who seems to be a few words person , till she knock a door an a girly voice said WHAT? oh yeah it's her cousin who was sleeping while the sun is in the middle of the sky and apparently lil girl is staying with her till her mom is better.. Her cousin was different than her, more girly.. good looking, puts lipstick and do her hair daily.. lil girl was amazed by her, she's like s superstar.. all pretty and shiny.. During the coming days she start to learn tips from her cousin, who wasn't a bad person but only self centered She opened her eyes to a whole new worlds.. beauty and boys.. yes boys.. lil girl dream was to find her prince one day and fallen in love and make a family but now she understand by observing her cousin love life that she must fall in love more than once to find her prince if he ever exist.. Lil girl was curious about love, kisses and everything else.. she can have it all without waiting as she thought once.. But she was still shy and scared so she was enjoying her cousin stories, who she met, who she kissed and how boys tell her she's pretty.. Without noticing, lil girl start devolving feeling for the boy next door as he's the one she sees all the time and he's nice to her, even if she knows he's only doing that coz he likes her cousin but what's that harm in falling for him in her mind? Lil girl start her one side love story in her mind, meeting him daily when her cousin is going out, volunteering in everything he's in and watching him from her room window every sec of the day.. it's sweet this heart beat. The shiver that goes through her body when she thinks of him, yes she start feeling pain in her lil heart when ever she sees how he looks at her cousin but she remember how ugly she does and that even she won't look at her self so why she's unhappy with he's action, it's jealousy.. what a bad feeling to feel but as long as lil girl see him smiling it's all worth It right? This is love in the end? Seeing the ones u love happy.. Times passed by and lil girl love grow bigger and bigger in silent .. till the day that the next door boy convince his love to her cousin who accept it, lil girl couldn't be,happy, she tried, even fake it but inside she was dying, she preyed and prayed to God to stop this pain, it's hard to breath right now .. and it happen, the door ring and her dad came to take her back home, her mom is better now..yeah her mom she kinda forgot about her in the silly life she start living.. she didn't wait a sec, even didn't say goodbye for him..how could she? Lil girl feeling will shows if she does, so the only solution.. running away and time will heal her heart, in the end it was never meant to be, he was never hers to begun with.. going far far away from him is,the only way to forget him..plus being back at her happy simple life is all she needs right now.. She left and never looked back, reach her house.. run to her mom arms and cried the whole night, her mom thought it's coz she was worried about her but only lil girl knew why she was crying all night.. The sun raised with the smell of her mom breakfast.. eggs and warm milk.. for the first time she didn't feel like leaving her bed, and the food smell make her wants throw up.. after her mom calling her to come down for 15 mins she walked to the bathroom to wash her face and looked at her face and hated every part of it, if she looked anything like her cousin her love will be hers but being her, looking Like what she looks like is a death sentence.. She walked to wear something and all what she got was sundresses which is lame and ugly. Who wear,them? No guy will look at a girl covered in a dress.. u need to show skin to be notice.. how lame is this, she wear a black one she got and went down the stairs pulling her feets .. the house was shiny, she had to cover her eyes, why the sun is do bright? Why the house is full of windows?.. she sat down to the table with her gloomy mood looking at her plate.. what a boring life this is, why did she even leave her bed.. She cant remember what her mom and dad said but they we 're trying hard to blesee her but it wasn't working as she didn't allow it to work focusing on what could be if she was s different person in a different place.. She went with her dad to the far, with her mind absent even lil Alfa could bring her back to reality.. all what she could feel is sorrow and depressed.. why it's not her? Why she's not there? Why she's never happy? Less that she know that happiness comes in differents shapes and ways.. wanting someone else happiness isn't one of them, if she just hope her eyes,and looked around she'll find tons of reasons to be happy but focusing in one and only one isn't happiness.. Lil girl drawn more and more in sorrow and draw her family with her in it, sucking every happy feeling with her sad unhappy mood, made her parents sick, coz for them she was their happiness and for some reason they lost her, days passed and lil girl blinded with her depression lost to see that she's losing the time she got left with her family.. focusing on negative will only draw negativity.. which here it happened.. One day after the sun was in the middle of the sky she woke up on her dad crying voice.. yes she's gone, lil girl mom is gone and she couldn't remember any memories with her after she came back, that's how self centered she become.. she wanted to live someone else life after being fascinated by it and forgot to live her own life and now it's too late, she can't re live the time that already pass and now she really have a reason to cry over in the future.. So wake up already and live Ur life instead of dreaming to live in someone else life.. follow the sun raise and remember, Ur surrounded with happiness, us just need to open Ur eyes, and see them.. One person is not happiness, he's only one reason from a million other ones.. Lil girl grow up and understand it but after it's too late so don't do the same mistake! Now.. smile (^___~)

[kmelo410]

I often think you're okay without me and your happy thoughts are rarely about me. :/

[punchlifeintheface]

"Keep moving forward and don't look to the sides".

" If you’re going to do anything interesting in the world, criticism is an unavoidable fact.

You’ll be criticized, because you’ll make mistakes, because some will be jealous, because people have opinions about anything interesting, because people want to help you, because some want to drag down those doing anything different.

The trick to navigating the icebergs of criticism is to figure out which are helpful, and steer clear of those that aren’t.

And above all, do it with grace".

 - Leo Babauta.

A sad human trait is jealousy. As a normal breathing human being I have been there as victim and as agressor, and throughout time I have battled to stay away from negativity. Life is better that way. Smiling people live longer...no doubt. As you go into the journey of getting in shape, encouraging others, eating healthy, competing, you will find those that cheer for you, and you will find those that don't.

I never have lliked to use the term best friend in my life. Why ? Because all friends are different. At the end of the day some are closer than others, some are even closer than family. Some people I considered friends end up not really being friends. Some people that started not as friends, end up being great friends later on. Heck, a guy I onced punched in college while playing football in the snow is a great friend of mine now. Gloves came off, football was dropped, it was great. We talk regularly through facebook.

At the end of the day I am thankful for all of them. Why ? They make my life diverse and I learn from each of them. I learn from their encouragement, I learn from their negative comments. I listen, but I don't always respond. The smartest answer you can give someone that turns negative against you, is silence. What a great way to answer back....silence. Best and most diplomatic punishment on earth.

Coming back to the term best friend. If I have to save the term best friend, it would be for my father. A guy that has never said NO when I needed any help.

I left home in Costa Rica at the age of 17, to move to South Dakota and go to college. Thats just 10 years more than the age of my son....wow. That day I left home for good.

While at the airport in Costa RIca on an early morning August 1992 my dad with tears on his eyes repeated my favorite quote ever: " Keep moving forward, and don't look to the sides...ADELANTE....siempre ADELANTE (look forward always...never to the sides)".

My dad January 2011. Piedmont Park Atlanta, GA

I have remembered that quote all my life pretty much, and have to re use it a lot. I have shared it with my closest friends as well. I don't always go by it, but I try.

I don't get to see my dad very often, but I am very lucky to still have him. We talk almost daily and he will be here  January 13. So, here we go...the main course of the post.

Let me first show you a picture of my ROAD ID, which by the way I am getting rid of it. The ROAD ID is something that most people should carry in case of an emergency.

The ROAD ID gives you the option of a motivational quote on the last line as you design it.

Last year I chose the quote WHEN YOU WANT TO QUIT THINK OF YOUR HATERS (click on the picture above...you may be able to read it). Today I have come to the conclusion that it was a mistake, and it's being replaced. That quote I chose was a modification from a great quote I got from USHER RAYMOND on the day I met him in 2009. When asked by a kid at a conference on how to deal with criticism and the haters he answered: "Let your haters be your motivators". great quote, so I grabbed that and changed it. Although I love it, it did not apply to me anymore.

With USHER in 2009.

Why am I changing it ?  Very simple. What is my motivation ? Is it to prove people wrong that criticize instead of encourage others and myself ? Absolutely not. I will do that with results, and I will answer to their negative comments with SILENCE.

I am doing this cause I want to better myself, and defeat my liver disease. I promised my kids to be around them as long as I can, and I will. I will punch life in the face.

On one of the century  (100 miles) rides I did last year on my bike (Wilson 100) I got word that my family and my friend Shane were going to be at the finish line waiting for me. 10 miles away from the finish line thinking of seeing them there gave me a strenght that I can't describe where it came from. Same as when I ran the Savannah Rock N Roll Half marathon. Did I ever look at my ROAD ID and thought of those that didn't and will not encourage others ? Absolutely not...I thought of my kids.

At the finish line with my kids and wife (baby Liam not pictured)  September 2011

Senoia, GA

So. My new ROAD ID due to arrive soon will have a green color (my favorite and more visible than black) with the names of my wife and my kids engraved. That's my motivation....my kids.

Don't wait till tomorrow. Start today. Don't wait to be placed on a medication. Eat healthy, exercise and go punch life in the face. Encourage others to assume the same path, encourage those that are out there pushing hard against the daily obstacles.