Jan 5, 2020
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God is so good to me
“The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on him in truth.” Psalms 145:18
The way I think about God’s grace towards me is so messed up. I “believe” that it’s free and has been given to me but after some deep reflection this morning, I realize that instead of just accepting it, I feel like I need to earn it. As if I can’t come into his presence unless I’m perfect and doing everything right. As if otherwise, He won’t want to be near me. As if He would look on me in disgust.
How much His heart must break when He sees the way I think. Exactly when I should go into His presence and ask for His forgiveness and depend on Him, I hide myself. I’m suddenly aware that I am Adam and Eve. Is it only natural that we hide ourselves from His glory because we are sinners? But He gave us a forever open door to Him through the death of His beloved son. Actually, he basically took down the door and tore down the walls yet I’ll sit here cowering under the blanket “pretending” He isn’t on the other side or believing monstrous thoughts about His character.
There is literally no barrier between us. He is a good God. These moments when I’m feeling the most unrighteous is when He will be able to use me to the greatest extent. I read all about this in the Bible and hear it from all over and “know” this but underneath it all, I don’t fully believe it?
Lord, please help me understand. Help me with my unbelief and heal me. He is near to ALL who call on Him in Truth. Praise God for hearing me in my struggles and helping me see Him. For helping me unveil my eyes to Him. He has and will always be near to me.
“The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on him in truth.” Psalms 145:18