#negative 54

[kodiakbearr]

god i suck!!

[tehsims2]

1 of the first days of 4th grade i heard 2 boys behind me talking about textures they hate and stuff (theyre allistic) and i turned around to join in (ive never met these ppl and i had just earned confidence in myself; i was no longer shy) so i say i hate the feeling of scrapping chalk and they just pause and look at me then turn to each other and laugh while i turn back around and feel bad for the entire year.

some months later one of the kids pulled the ‘pulling seat under person’ trick and he made fun of how i was sitting down on the non-existent chair.

the kid hasnt made fun of me until this year during the PSAT’s. he sat behind me and him and some other kid who ive known since maybe 6th grade were taunting me, making fun of my special interests and a bunch of other garbage. they kept asking “whats the best pokemon?” bc they assumed i was a pokemon kid, tho im kinda not. the dude from 6th grade kept making ‘netflix and chill’ jokes even tho i told him theyre not funny and he was then like “show justin ur weird arm thing”

i fucking hate those kids, now. because i thought we had gotten over the bullying me part. i guess i was wrong.

[tehsims2]

i feel like just used up space rn i dont rly feel like i actually contribute to things

[tehsims2]

my mood since 2013:

[tehsims2]

i constantly think about tearing my skin off of my face and body and just destroying myself, putting objects into my open skin .

[tehsims2]

ill never be on a zayn/1d blog’s follow forever and that is probably what pains me the most

[tehsims2]

y am i suddenly so sad? its my month.... im supposed to be happy...

[transblues-blog]

it'll all collapse tonight the full moon is here again in sickness and in health understanding, so demanding