#negative nostalgia

[kindnessisstillhere]

What Could Have Beens

Growing up adults spoke of these,

Made them sound like regular thoughts,

Like all adulthood was looking backwards.

I’m still waiting to have one I mean,

One I don’t immediately follow with no thank you.

What could have been if this didn’t happen?

My life is a footpath of people bad for me,

People I was probably bad for in turn,

So What could have been in any situation?

Probably only a whole heck of a lot worse.

My mind is always occupied though,

Not with worries that I missed something past,

But that yesterday will catch up to me again.

It’s scarier than any could have been,

More intimidating than any crucial meeting,

And send chills down my spine daily.

Still it teaches me to avoid ‘What could have been’

[hypnotizedandtired]

All the things I “couldn’t wait to be an adult to do” that I’m now 100% sure will be almost entirely gone by the time I’m an adult to do them, send post

[alwaysbeyondhope]

The desire to go looking for that negative nostalgia is back

But I'm not gonna give in to it. It doesn't lead to anything good. I am stronger than whatever those feelings are. It's been two days. I can do this.